Rich Johnston has a secret. It's a secret that can bring down one of the big two comic book publishers. It's worse than a pedophilia scandal consisting of over 400 accusations of child molestation for a British television star. But Rich isn't telling, because of... um... responsibility.
That's okay, though. Using complex algorithms derived from minutes and even hours of analysis of the 24 hour comics news cycle, The Outhouse has created a sophisticated superprogram that can, using only your birthday and favorite color, thwart Johnston's silence by exposing the secret rumor he refuses to reveal!