Hello once again, Children of Kong! After far too long of a hiatus, the Lord of the Monkeys has returned, so as to share the wisdom of the Ape with you. Since we have a LOT of questions this time around, let’s get right into it!

Starlord asks “Question: OMD, do you think it’s more for story purposes, or a personal vendetta by Joe Q?”

Well, Starlord, The Lord of the Monkeys thinks that it is more story purposes. Q may have personal feelings on this issue, but I don’t believe his employers would have allowed the change were it not leading somewhere. And where is it leading? To the MASSIVE sales in a year and a half when Pete and MJ get back together. (more…)

By Lord Simian

Welcome back everyone! The Lord of the Monkeys was just sitting here, enjoying a glass of scotch and smoking a fine cigar, and wondering what his beloved subjects have on their minds! What say we take a look into the old mailbag, shall we?

What?

No, you do not have a choice. The Lord of the Monkeys makes the rules here.

We will begin with an easy one this week. From our old friend, Fo Leon, who asks:

What’s up with child endangerment laws in the DCU? How come all these people get away with risking their sidekicks lives on a regular basis?

Simple, my friend! Neither the GCPD, nor the DEO itself, actually likes children. Jim Gordon and Mr. Bones actually sponsor a sidekick death pool every year. (more…)

By Lord Simian

So, we made it to the second column! I hope that you appreciated and enjoyed the wisdom of Almighty Kong imparted unto you last time. But it wasn’t enough: it’s never enough. And so you have returned to the Lord of the Monkeys, for another heaping helping of fun! Let’s get to it, shall we? But first, I would like to recognize and thank all of our friends at Newsarama, who contributed questions for this column! Keep ‘em coming, folks!

Webhead10 asks:
O Lord of Apes, where is 616 Baby May?

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By Lord Simian

Welcome to the first installment of that most glorious of columns, Ask The Ape. Yes, the Lord of the Monkeys is here to explain to you humans things which might have escaped you in the past. Any comic related questions you might have, or even non-comic, let me know, and I shall give you the best answer you’ll find under the sun! So, let’s get on with this:

1. Can you explain why Klaw is the master of sound, yet his costume has as of yet had any reflection of this ability? A Noh mask, a dish hand…and red underwear over purple spandex? Seems ridiculous to me.

Well, you see, Klaw is the undisputed master of sound. However, he was forced to make concessions in order to attain that title, foremost of which was his fashion sense. (more…)