Appetizer:
Immortal Iron Fist #18 — Sweirczynski continues to follow well in Bru & Fraction’s footsteps, as he continues the story of Fist and his new arch-nemesis/bane; the death of a previous Fist, a big fight scene, help from the H4H buds, a look at Davos in his new role, a peek at more of Orson’s past, and a threat to Danny’s new kids’ karate dojo; fast-moving and fun, my only problem remains that Travel Foreman’s art is hideous; loved the story, hated the art.

Entree:
Justice Society of America #18 — Christ, Johns, why did it take you so long to finally crank this book up? THIS is more like it…we begin to see that all Gog’s gifts aren’t so beneficial, we see the team begin to split, Damage ask for a date (and no, Nacireman, it ain’t Liberty Belle, as I’ve told you for over a year it wouldn’t be), a peek at Power Girl on E-2, a hero’s death and resurrection, and set-up for a huge inter-team slobber-knocker over the rest of this arc; packed with goodness both story and art (although I really just don’t like Eaglesham’s Jay, everything else is gorgeous); LOVED it.

Dessert:
FC : Rogues’ Revenge #2 — And yet, JSA still wasn’t the best of the lot; this book was tremendous; the Rogues find their tailor Gambi beaten near to death, and get called out by the “new” Rogues (who got stolen Rogue weaponry etc from the Penguin during Gotham Underground), who tell Cold they’ve got his dad and threaten to kill him and the other Rogues’ families if they don’t join Libra; to which the Rogues immediately track them down and kill every last one of them as you or I might swat a fly, and Cold also has Heat Wave kill his father; Zoom trains Inertia and Piper tracks them down; Iris says she knows Barry’s back; Libra’s pissed and tells Grodd he needs the Rogues (he needs all villains who “know” the Flashes b/c, like in every Crisis, they’re the key to upsetting evil’s plans), and we cliffhang with Libra holding Weather Wizard’s kid, threatening to kill him if the Rogues don’t play ball; hard-hitting story and terrific art from Kolins; best of the bunch.

The Toys are Unleashed.

Will you yield to the dark side as well? Zechs take’s a look at the Force Unleashed wave and the Darth Vader figure from the latest wave of Star Wars: The Legacy line.

With one of the most hyped games of the year about to be pardon the pun unleashed. I was very curious of this wave of Star Wars figures from Hasbro since the previous new molds have piqued my curiosity. So I went out and got myself Battle Damage Darth Vader, Juno Eclipse, Maris Brood, Rahm Kota, and the Shadow Guard. The figures in the line each come with a stand and a cheat to a game that isn’t even out yet. As for the figures themselves.

Rahm Kota the Jedi Knight is a decent figure. About the only problems with this figure is it’s massive shoulder pads deny him extending both his arms out fully. Other than that minor negative he’s still pretty posable. The details in the figure are pretty decent with him looking like a Jedi who’s had enough running and about to take a stand. About the best force user figure in the entire set. And thus is a must have.

Maris Brood on the other hand was a bit of a let down. The top portion of her figure is awesome. The details on her arms and form show she’s been through a rough time period and adds to why she’s yielded to the dark side. On the minus side is the bottom half of the figure. Her legs can’t bend at all. It’s like that half of her figure is from the mold of Star Wars figures Hasbro put out during it’s Attack of the Clones set from ‘02. The only thing moveable is her feet, yet why didn’t they give some motion to her legs? Thus her posablity is limited. Juno (her female opposite) is such a superior figure. Still, if you truly can’t find a female dark sider then Maris is still worth a buy. But alas, her figure does disappoint me for someone whose style appears to favor bending and mobility. And honestly of all the figures I do kinda regret getting her. So I have to say, pass.

The Shadow Guard is the same mold used from the web site exclusive two pack Crimson Empire set. Like the two Guardsman in that set, the Shadow Guard is pretty much the same exact mold and has the same mobility (just with more covering cloaks and a helmet that’s stuck on). When I took the Guard out of his package his hand came off. Thankfully it snapped back on but I had this same problem when I bought the EU, again you think Hasbro would fix that problem but nope. Still the figure is awesome with its attachable blade light staff. Even with the problematic arm the figure is highly posable save for the head, which feels like it was glued on. The guards also came with a very tiny blaster (same that was with the EU two pack) and they are so gosh darn small that it’s very easy to loose that darn small blaster. So if you’re one of those who wish to keep all the items on your figures or loves to play with them. Just keep checking that gun holster cause most of the time that tiny blaster will have fallen out. Put them with a dark sider and honestly these figures look even more awesome. So I rank it as a must have.

Juno Eclipse is quite possibly the best figure in the set if you’re looking for quantity and quality. She is by far the most posable compared to all the others. Even more, her removable cap and details of her rank, I have to say she’s quite possibly the best Imperial Officer produced so far from Hasbro The only slight problem, is her forehead is kinda huge once you remove that cap of her’s. But honestly, she’s the figure that I enjoyed the most from the set. Must buy.

Then we have a battle damaged Lord Vader. Honestly, given how hard this figure was to get until it was re-issued in the Legacy Collection I was curious as to why it was so highly sought after. When finally getting it via ebay I saw the indimidation factor of the figure. Here you have Darth Vader literally the most damage we’ve ever seen him. The peel away parts on the figure give a real battle damaged feel if you’re looking to only have him somewhat harmed or fully damaged. The detailing the figure is amazing. From the torn gloves with some robotic hand teased to the flesh mixed with robotics, and the melting off control panel on his chest was a nice touch. The figure is as posable as the others (save for Maris) however, there are some nit picks I have of the figure. His chest damage area looks poorly detailed and almost an afterthought. Secondly, his helmet less form and single eyepiece is horrible. Instead of a decent eye shape the thing just looks disfigured even when you put the helmet on him. The hole on part of his mask looks off compared to his good side. And his cloaks, which are partly fabric and plastic. Again, could it have killed Hasbro to have gone full fabric on this figure instead of cheaping out and going with plastic for the inner cloak near his legs?

But wait that wasn’t the only Darth Vader figure that was purchased! Just in time for the Clone Wars being released Hasbro released a new set of figures based on the Clone Wars (some new from the movie and some just reissues) and Legacy Collection (with the only reissue being battle damaged Vader). The Darth Vader figure I got from the Legacy Collection wave has it’s own little build a figure or droid. If Hasbro wants me to build something the last thing I ever want to build fully is a small droid. Give me Grievous or IG-88, not the puny little astro mechs (and given the news of future waves with build a Grievous one might want to get entire sets now). In any case, the Vader figure in this set is quite possibly the greatest Darth Vader figure ever. Why is it so good? He’s detailed like heck from face to boot. Every inch of him is perfect. His removable mask has two layers following the movies on how Vader gets his mask and helmet on. Vader’s mask even has the gold little marks and his helmet has the little details on the inside. He even has a fabric cloak all the way up to his chest area and covered by his shoulder plates.

Posablity wise? This figure shocked me on how good it is. This Vader is very posable. Even unmasked, his burnt little head can move around. There is nothing truly wrong I can find with this figure. It is simply that perfect. If you have the need to get yourself one Vader or want the best Vader figure Hasbro has ever produced this is the one to get. He’s that good. So it’s not hard to see my rating on him, MUST BUY.

This wave surprised me on what figures would be the best (Juno and Rahm) with some being decent (Shadow Guard and Battle Damage Vader) and some being otherwise disappointing (Maris). And if the latest Vader figure is the direction Hasbro is heading towards for future figures, I can’t wait to see what they’ll shell out next cause I’ll be in line to buy it. That said in review here are the rankings:
Rahm Kota: MUST BUY!

Maris Brood: Skip it!

Juno Eclipse: MUST BUY!

Shadow Guard: Buyable, but only for the hardcore fan.

Battle Damage Darth Vader: Buyable, but only for the hardcore fan.

Darth Vader with removable helmet: MUST BUY!

Last week I embarked on a bit of a journey reading deeply into how sex takes of symbolic and magical significance in Alan Moore comics. I began to look at two specific issues that involve sex: Saga of the Swamp Thing 34 and Promethea 10. We’ve established that Moore believes that sexual intercourse is a symbolic entwining of two beings to form one. In addition to this, the male and female together climbing towards the godhead and becoming one with everything else. I’d like to continue with this idea.

In Saga of the Swamp Thing, as the sexual act progresses and Abby and Swamp Thing become each other, then Abby/Swamp Thing narrate that they begin to feel the world. They experience the sensations of small rats, and then the sensation of hawkmoths. Moore writes: “There is no contradiction…only the pulse. The pulse of the world. Within us. Within me.” The pulse of the world symbolizes how Abby and Swamp Thing feel the world through the Swamp Thing’s energies. By feeling the pulse of the world, understanding the smallest creatures, we become one with it. And then, immediately Abby and Swamp Thing begin to experience life and death, tide and magma, and experience everything within the world, down to even the smallest twist of a fish and a claw “wounding the soil”.

The final page of the “veggie-sex” shows Abby’s and Swamp Thing  facing each other with their eyes closed and in between them is something, I’m not entirely sure what to make of it, but it appears to be an amalgamation of the female sex organ and plant parts (I see roots). What I really like about the image that Bissette and Totleben draw is the interpretation of Abby as water and Swamp Thing as earth, connected by the “earth-vagina”. I really thought the balance between the two was important in symbolizing how they become the world, specifically the Earth, and how each of them represent the two opposing elements. Not only that, it also ties back into what Faust says to Promethea about the magician penetrating the mystery, the male penetrating the female the becoming a hermaphrodite. In this case, the hermaphrodite is the earth and the human. It’s a much more beautiful picture than one would normally imagine when thinking of “veggie-sex”.

One of the interesting parts of Promethea 10 happens during various points of the act; Promethea hears the voices of Sophie and Stacia outside arguing after Sophie has slept with Faust. It happens four times in the issue (if you count the actual instance). Faust’s response is “Don’t worry. It’s just when the magic kicks in. Everything gets sort of looped…” It happens again when Faust and Promethea reach the climax, or in terms of Faust’s teachings the Sahasrana Chakra (the crown). In order to understand the crown in more detailed terms, we have to look ahead to a later issue of Promethea; issue 23.

In this issue, Prometheas Sophie and Barbara are at the end of their Kabbalah journey, at the final sephiroth: Kether. Promethea explains: “All one. All god. All Kether. One perfect moment when everything happens.” Applying these words to Promethea and Faust reaching the crown sexually, it all relates to one word on the final page of the sex sequence: “Here.” They are, effectually, in all places at all times, just as Sophie and Barbara are when they reach the sphere of Kether.

I find this particularly interesting because I’d read Promethea 10 a couple years before Swamp Thing 34 and I began to marvel at the connection between the two issues. Moore takes sex, normally taboo in the modern-day moral high ground that is the super-heroic and turns it into something beautiful, something magical, that can be shared between a man and a woman. It actually validates the old parental saying: “When two people love each other very much, they decide they want to make something special.” That special thing doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to result in a child.

Discuss

Note: We’re going with a list format this week, seeing as last week’s preview ended up being a jumbled mess.  They’re going to be listed from what I feel is best to worst, however that isn’t necessarily the order I think they will finish.

Big Ten

Ohio St:  Ah, OSU.  The beast of the Big Ten.  The saga of the Buckeyes has been well documented .  Two straight Big Ten titles.  Two straight national championship games.  Two straight bad losses to SEC teams.  Regardless, there’s no reason that they shouldn’t win the conference title for a record third straight year.

Illinois: With the loss of Rashard Mendenhall Illinois is looking to focus more on the passing game this year.  Juice Williams will have to improve his recognition skills, but Arrelious Benn and a squadron of massive receivers should help make him look good.  Martez Wilson and defensive standout Vontae Davis should help the defense continue to improve.

Wisconsin: To quote David Byrne, “Same as it ever was.  Same as it ever was.  Same as it ever was.”  The Badgers will continue to pound the ball with P.J Hill, Zach Brown, and John Clay.  Although he won’t be supplanting Hill, Clay in particular has a chance to have a break out season this year for the Badgers.

Penn St: The defense won’t be the problem, let’s get that out of the way right now.  The Nittany Lions ranked 15th in team defense last year and there isn’t any reason to think there will be a let down.  The offense will be an interesting work in progress.  There’s a good chance that Daryll Clark and Pat Devlin will split time during the season.  The same is true at running back where a staggering four players are still engaged in a battle for the right to be named starter.

Michigan St:  There are some very high expectation for the Spartans entering Mark Dantonio’s second season as head coach.  Javon Ringer is a stud a running back and they return a number of starters from offensive and defensive squads that both ranked 35th nationally.  Both Ohio St and Wisconsin have to come to Lansing.

Purdue: Curtis Painter threw for 3,846 yards and 29 touchdowns last year for the Boilermakers, which is the main reason that Purdue had the the highest ranked offense in the Big 10. If the defense can improve Purdue could be a surprisingly good team this year and possibly even make a major bowl.

Michigan: It’s hard to know what to expect from the Wolverines this year, as just about every aspect of the program has been overhauled.  Chad Henne, Mike Hart, Mario Manningham, and JJ Arrington are all gone.  The defense should still be all Conference and keep them in most games, but it’s completely within the realm of possibility that they only win 5 or 6 games.

Indiana:  This feels weird for me to type, but there is an outside chance that Indiana could win 8 or 9 games this year.  Former Reds prospect Andrew Means and freshman Damarlo Belcher should prove ample replacements for James Hardy.  Despite going 3-5 in Big Ten play last year the offense and a cupcake schedule should have the Hoosiers in a bowl again.

Iowa:  To say that Kirk Ferentz’s teams have underperformed since his massive contract extension 3 years ago is a huge understatement.  The 6-6 2007 campaign would be enough to raise eyebrows on its own, but after 18 arrests since 2007 Ferentz is in some seriously hot water.

Northwestern:  Northwestern’s no huddle, wide open offense stands in stark contrast to most of the other teams in the conference and it’s not unheard of for the Wildcats to put up huge numbers.  New defensive coordinator Mike Hankwitz  will look to instill his zone-blitz scheme and some consistency on his side of the ball.  Just don’t expect any miracles.

Minnesota:  The Gophers gave up an astonishing 518 yards per game last year.  If you guessed that Minnesota ranked last in college football in that statistic you’d be correct.  Second year coach Tim Brewster has gone to great lengths in an attempt to prevent it from happening again, including bringing in a new defensive coordinator and 21 new defensive players.

Pac 10

USC:  After a rash of injuries and a bizarre outbreak of jock itch(seriously), it looks like the Trojans off season is finally starting to settle down.  Mark Sanchez looks like he’ll be able to start against Virginia, and Joe McKnight is beginning to look like the player who pissed off the entire state of Louisiana when he left.  The defense will be fast.  Very, very, very fast.  If the offensive line can overcome it’s inexperience expect them to challenge for both the Pac 10 and national championships.

Arizona St:  Three starters are being replaced on the offensive line, and this was a line that had already given up 55 sacks last year.  If the Sun Devils can survive a brutal 4 game stretch where they face Georgia, USC, California, and Oregon they have a chance for another 10 win season and a spot in the BCS, but it’s also possible that a team that ranked 55th nationally in total offense overachieved last year and will come back to earth.

Oregon:  Nate Costa and Justin Roper were in a tight race for the starting quarterback position before Nate Costa went down with a knee injury a few days ago.  The Ducks would probably prefer Costa because he’s a better fit for the spread-option, but Roper threw for 4 touchdowns in Oregon’s 56-21 blowout win over South Florida in the Sun Bowl.  The defense will need to improve if they hope to challenge USC for the conference title.

Oregon St:  The Beavers quietly went 9-4 last season, primarily because of a staunch defense and strong rushing attack.  Most of that defensive front seven had to be replaced, making hard to predict how they’ll fare again this season.  If the drop off is negligible, and under Mark Banker’s system it very well could be, then Oregon St. should have another strong year.

California:  Kevin Riley is the starting quarterback, we know that for sure, but how effective can he be with a group of receivers that is almost completely new?  Jeff Tedford has a reputation as an offensive genius and he’ll need to be in order to avoid a second straight 7-6 record.

UCLA:  The Bruins return only 4 starters on offense, which could make points very tough to come by.   Ben Olsen and Patrick Cowan both went down to injuries before the season even started, and third stringer Kevin Craft through three interceptions on three passes in a scrimmage earlier this week.

Stanford:  The Cardinals return 16 starters from last season, which makes them the most experienced team in the Pac 10.  The defense improved by leaps and bounds over the course of last season, but still ranked 100th nationally.  It’s possible that Stanford could be good enough to play in a bowl game this season, the second under coach Jim Harbaugh, but they still don’t have the talent to win more than 7 games.

Washington:  Washington has great hopes for quarterback Jake Locker, and he’s expected to make the rest of the offense around him better.   They’d better hope so, because they have a brutal out of conference schedule and that defense isn’t doing them any favors.

Arizona:  This might be Mike Stoops last chance in Arizona.  He was expected to turn the program into a perennial power like his brother Bob did at Oklahoma, but so far the results have been extremely disappointing.  If the Wildcats don’t make a bowl this season, and win it, he’s probably gone.  The offense could be very good, but they turn over almost the entire defense.

Washington St:  Paul Wulff is having a hard time this summer trying to install his offensive system.  The line is a mess, the receivers have been decimated by injuries, and the 2nd team offense and defense dominated their first string counterparts in the final scrimmage.

SEC

East

Georgia:  Quarterback Matt Stafford and running back Knowshon Moreno, both Heisman candidates, lead what should be a high powered offense.  Losing Left Tackle Trinton Sturdivant with a season ending knee injury isn’t good, but the rest of the offensive line is rock solid and Georgia has recruited well enough that it shouldn’t affect them too badly.  The defense might actually improve over a unit that ranked 19th in the league last year, but an absolutely brutal schedule will probably keep them out of the SEC championship game and any hopes for a national title.

Florida:  Tim Tebow is one of the rare athletes that completely lives up to his hype, but he might not even be the best player on the Gator offense.  Percy Harvin is ridiculously fast and can line up just about everywhere on the field.  Florida needs to improve on defense if they hope to challenge for another national title but looks to have the inside track in the SEC East.

Tennessee:  Tennessee is breaking in a new quarterback in Jonathan Crompton, new offensive coordinator in Dave Clawson, and a lot of new faces in the defensive front seven.  Luckily, the Vols might have the best secondary in football, featuring Eric Berry(who may also line up on offense) and Demetrius Morely, which should take a lot of pressure off a young defensive line.

South Carolina:  Jasper Brinkley heads up a Gamecock defense full of returning starters.  If the often injured middle linebacker can stay healthy this year they have a chance to be one of the better units in a conference filled with stellar defenses.  Steve Spurrier has made Tommy Beecher his starting quarterback and swears he’s the one.  Period.  He means it this time.  Really.

Kentucky:  Kentucky lost almost every play maker from last year’s surprisingly competitive team.  Mike Hartline will replace Andre Woodson now that Curtis Pulley has been released from the team for disciplinary reasons.  Freshman Randall Cobb may also see playing time at quarterback, but expect him to be on the field regardless, as he’s easily already proven to their most gifted athlete.

Vanderbilt:  This isn’t your grandfather’s Vanderbilt team.  True, they may never challenge for an SEC title, but Bobby Johnson has turned them into a team that no one takes lightly.  However, with an entirely new offensive line and no announced starter at quarterback with less than a week until opening day it’s hard to imagine Vanderbilt improving on last season’s 5-7 record.

West

Auburn:  The Spread offense is the next big thing in college football, so it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that Auburn is implementing it this year.  So how is this incarnation different?  The Tigers are running it completely no huddle. There isn’t a clear starter at quarterback as Kodi Burns and Chris Todd have both played extremely well and both will be used as the season progresses.  If the new offense can get on track and complement what should be another dominating defense, a relatively favorable conference schedule could finally get Auburn back in the SEC title game.

LSU:  LSU has lost a lot of the players that won them the national championship last season.  They have only 5 returning offensive starters, but the fact that 4 of them are on the offensive line should help dull the blow.  Jarret Lee and Andrew Hatch are battling to replace Matt Flynn at quarterback now that Ryan Perriloux has left campus for good.  The defensive line, led by Ricky Jean-Francois, should be as dominating as ever, but an inexperienced secondary may go through some growing pains early in the year.

Mississippi St:  Sylvester Croom has improved the team every year since taking over the job at Mississippi St, and last year they went 8-5 and won the Liberty Bowl.  Are they good enough to win the SEC West?  Probably not, but the defense, which is led by safety Derek Pegues, should continue to be suffocating.  If they can get some consistency at receiver it will open up some running lanes for punishing runner Anthony Dixon and the Bulldogs could surprise a lot of people.

Alabama:  John Parker Wilson is easily the best quarterback in the SEC’s western division, and adding freshman Julio Jones to his options is probably little unfair to opposing defenses.  Expect Nick Saban to play a lot of the freshman.  Besides the opener against Clemson the Tide has a favorable early schedule.  If Saban can use that time to get his young players comfortable it’s possible they could pull off an upset or two later in the season.

Mississippi:   After the Rebels went 0-8 in SEC play last season it wasn’t a huge shock when Ole Miss let Ed Orgeron go and replaced him with former Arkansas coach Houston Nutt.  When they were able to add Texas transfer Jevan Snead to their offense they suddenly became a much better team.  Probably not good enough to win more than half their games, but good enough to avoid being completely embarrassed again.

Arkansas:  At Texas, vs. Florida, vs. Alabama, at Auburn.  That is Arkansas’ schedule from Mid-September through Mid-October.  Couple this with the fact that Bobby Petrino is still trying to teach the Razorbacks his new scheme and break in a ton of incoming freshman and the outlook for this season isn’t very bright.

Next Sunday marks the beginning of my articles dealing with the 2008 college football season, and I go into more detail regarding who I think are this seasons best teams and players!

Discuss

By Jesse Chin

This week, the NL Report (notice the name change because I noticed that there wasn’t actually much week in reviewing going on…) shall take another in-depth look at how your favorite NL teams have been doing all year. In the last column we focused on this year’s biggest disappointments which naturally transitions to the focus of this week’s piece, the year’s most pleasant surprises.

Arizona Diamondbacks – SP Doug Davis. In all honesty, the Diamondbacks roster really hasn’t been playing above their heads. They’re either doing what’s expected of them or underachieving by a great deal. However, Davis has had to overcome great diversity in order to simply do his job. Just this March, he was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and after surgery, radiation treatment and only two months off, he came back to pitch for the team and hasn’t looked back since. The fact that his production hasn’t been a hindrance to the team only helps matters.

Atlanta Braves – SP Jorge Campillo. In a season where the Braves have seen their once-vaunted pitching staff overcome by injuries, Jorge Campillo has performed above and beyond what was expected of him. In a career mostly spent in the Mexican Leagues, Campillo finally notched his first major league win at 29 years old this year. Originally signed by the Braves all the way back in 1996, he was released shortly thereafter and didn’t make it back to the majors until 2005 when the Mariners brought him up for a cup of coffee. With regular playing time, Campillo has finally shown what he is capable of by posting a 7-6 record with a 3.29 ERA and 1.095 WHIP along with solid strikeout numbers.

Chicago Cubs – SP Ryan Dempster. The first place Cubs owe a debt of gratitude to Dempster. The pitcher, who hadn’t regularly started since 2003, has been pitching like an ace this season, compiling a 14-5 record, an ERA under 3.00 with a solid WHIP of 1.163. Sadly, Dempster wasn’t given the opportunity to return to the All-Star Game despite his success, but hopefully that can be redeemed by a lengthy trip to the post-season. Not to mention he’s an impending free agent so there’s another chance at making up for his All-Star snub.

Cincinnati Reds – SP Edinson Volquez. The Reds lone bright spot this season has been the surprising play of Volquez. While always considered talented, nobody expected the return on the Josh Hamilton trade to be this immediate. He’s already netted 15 wins while maintaining the second-best ERA in the National League (behind Tim Lincecum and just ahead of Johan Santana). However, one must be wary if he can keep up this rate of production long-term. He’s playing in a hitter’s haven in Cincinnati and since June 26, he’s allowed an ERA of 4.45 and a WHIP over 1.50.

Colorado Rockies – C Chris Ianneta. After much lauding and praise, Chris Iannetta made his full-time Rockies debut in 2007… He failed…This year though, with less pressure and hype, Ianneta has quietly been productive and is arguably one of the top five catchers in the National League. With 31 extra-base hits in less than 250 AB’s, he’s maintained a slugging percentage over .500 as well as walking often enough to have an OBP over .370. What’s also been impressive is that he’s already been hit by a pitch 11 times this season, leading his team as well as ranking him fourth in the NL in that category.

Florida Marlins – SP Ricky Nolasco. In one of the worst trades that the Cubs have ever pulled, the Florida Marlins acquired young SP’s Ricky Nolasco and Sergio Mitre as well as RP Renyel Pinto from Chicago in exchange for Juan Pierre. After only one season with the team, Pierre left for the money in Dodgertown, and all the Cubbies got in return was a compensatory pick (JP was only a Type B free agent). Meanwhile, all three pitchers for the Marlins have been productive, albeit some more so than others, namely Nolasco. The 25-year-old has paced the team with 12 wins, a 3.67 ERA and a WHIP just a shade higher than 1.15.

Houston Astros – 3B Ty Wigginton. Amidst a sea of disappointment in Houston, the 30-year-old Wigginton is having the finest year in his major league career. Offensively, he’s doing whatever is asked of him. He’s hitting for average, taking walks, hitting for power, and doing the little things like taking a pitch for the team. He’s also hit into only four double plays this season (way behind team leader Miguel Tejada who has 23). Now if he could just do something about his defense…

Los Angeles Dodgers – P Chan Ho Park . Raise your hand if you knew Chan Ho park was still pitching in the major leagues? I know that he had totally slipped under my radar but the most surprising part is how well he’s been doing in his return to LA. Pitching in one of the best bullpens in the league can explain how someone could be overlooked I guess. Seven years removed from his glory years in his first stint for the Dodgers, the 35-year-old veteran has reinvented himself into a jack-of-all-trades in the bullpen. Park has appeared in 39 games, started five of those and compiled a 4-3 record with two saves while only allowing an ERA of 2.51 in 82.3 innings. Mighty impressive for someone who hasn’t tasted success for such a long period of time.

Milwaukee Brewers – CL Salomon Torres. After throwing (away) $10M at Eric Gagne this offseason to man the closer role as well as giving David Riske 3 yrs/$13M to provide insurance and depth to the bullpen, who knew that the inevitable ace of the bullpen would be unheralded Salomon Torres? Currently at his career low in ERA, the 36-year-old has compiled 24 saves in Gagne’s absence.

New York Mets – OF Fernando Tatis. In his first regular playing time since 2003, Fernando Tatis has seemingly reinvented himself. Once, an up-and-coming, power-hitting third baseman, he’s now become a veteran looking for redemption and playing in the outfield. Having his best season since 2000, his last year with the Cardinals, Tatis has played a crucial part in the Mets resurgence after the injuries to Ryan Church and Moises Alou created depth issues in the outfield.

Philadelphia Phillies – CL Brad Lidge. I’ll admit it…I thought that Philadelphia overpaid when they acquired Lidge this offseason by giving up Michael Bourn and top prospect Michael Costanzo. They were acquiring an expensive, 30+ year old pitcher with confidence issues and bringing him to a ballpark renowned for being skewed toward hitters. While his WHIP could be lower for a closer, he’s seemed to straighten his troubles out and has been one of the most effective relievers in the NL this season.

Pittsburgh Pirates – OF Nate McLouth. McLouth has really made a name for himself this season in Pittsburgh. Enough to convince the team that they could move both Jason Bay and Xavier Nady, in separate deals, and count on him to be the cornerstone of their outfield for the next few years. With solid skills all-around, I don’t think they’re making that bad of a decision. He’s shown power (39 doubles, 3 triples and 22 homeruns so far this season), speed (22 stolen bases last season and 14 so far in 2008) and patience (51 walks) with solid defense and range in centerfield.

San Diego Padres – OF Jody Gerut. Quick…guess who’s leading the Padres in batting average? I doubt that anyone would have guessed Gerut if given that question at random. The journeyman outfielder is having a season that people were expecting of him back when the former Indian was fourth in Rookie of the Year voting in 2003. He’s already compiled the second highest homerun output in his career after only 92 games and has just tore up the second half so far. In his past 31 games, he’s compiled a line of .327 BA/.364 OBP/.644 SLG with 9 HR’s and 20 RBI’s while operating as the Padres primary leadoff man.

San Francisco Giants – OF Fred Lewis. First on the team in triples, first on the team in slugging percentage, second on the team in HR’s, second on the team in batting average, second on the team in stolen bases…Sure, he’s done it on a horrible offensive team, but it still should account for something. Upon first look, there’s nothing really spectacular about Fred Lewis. He doesn’t hit for huge amounts of power, he isn’t superb on the basepaths (as he’s been caught stealing seven times), etc. but when you put it all together, he’s actually a quite useful package and should be a decent player to rebuild with. Not someone that should be the focal point, but a nice complement to the team who can do it all.

St Louis Cardinals – OF Ryan Ludwick. I’m pretty sure that the Cleveland Indians regret letting Ludwick leave considering how much progress he’s made down in St Louis for the Cardinals and how much trouble they’ve had developing corner outfielders. With 31 homeruns (third in the NL) and a slugging percentage over .600 (second in the NL), it’s hard to believe that this was a player who couldn’t find a job in 2006 and only made the Cards as a spring training invite in 2007. In addition to his power numbers, he’s also ranked in the league’s Top 10 in batting average, RBI, runs, OPS and total bases.

Washington Nationals – SP John Lannan. This team is friggin garbage. I guess John Lannan’s doing alright. He still ain’t that good…

So just like last week, hope you enjoyed it and if not, feel free to send me PM’s with any suggestions or helpful tidbits that you think I might be able to use. Also if there are any questions or topics that you want me to touch upon for the next edition, send me those as well.

-Jesse Chin

Discuss

By Eli Katz

Writer: Dan Slott
Artist: John Romita, Jr.

Last week I wrote that it was time for grumbling fanboys to get over their contempt for the magic mindwipe and to start buying Amazing Spider-Man again. This week — after reading the first part of Spidey’s big summer story, “New Ways to Die” — I renew my plea.

This book is great. It’s as simple as that.

Usually, the first issue of any storyline has more setup than action. And certainly ASM #568 establishes several complex conspiracies that will probably, in the course of this six-part blockbuster, overlap. But Dan Slott is able to introduce a huge cast of characters in such an efficient and fast paced way that the issue never feels bogged down by setup.

Here’s what happens in a nutshell: Norman Osborn asks Randall Crowne, a crooked politician, to get the Thunderbolts established in New York, where they can hunt down a list of unregistered superheroes, including Spider-Man. In return for this favor, Crowne expects Osborn to help him neutralize some particularly annoying political rivals. One of these rivals is billionaire philanthropist Martin Li, who just so happens to be the Chinatown crime boss, Mr. Negative. Li seems to be cooking up a scheme himself as he cures Eddie Brock and other homeless men of their terminal illnesses.

While these behind-the-scenes machinations occur, Spidey spars with Menace — a lame villain who’s ridiculously similar to the Green Goblin in both look and powers. These similarities do not elude Spidey, or Slott, who gives Spidey some very funny battle jokes.

“Let’s be honest,” Spidey says to Menace, after kicking him in the head, “you’re just another Goblin, aren’t you? And that’s getting kinda old. I mean, c’mon. I’ve already fought four Green Goblins, Two Hobgoblins, Three Fembot Goblins, Gray Goblin, Demogoblin, Future Goblin, Fried Goblin, Shrimp Goblin, Goblin on Toast,” and so on.

With these lines, Slott and Marvel seem to be acknowledging, finally, that many of the “Brand New Day” villains have been a bust. And this acknowledgement is made all the more striking with the appearance of Norman Osborn and Venom in this issue. So, yeah, some of the new villains are still kicking around, but Spidey’s old-time foes are back with a vengeance.

But what makes ASM #568 extra special is that John Romita, Jr. and Klaus Janson have teamed up to do a terrific job on the art. These two first collaborated on a Spidey story almost 25 years ago, with ASM #250. To have these guys back on this book now, even just for the “New Ways to Die” arc, is a signal from Marvel that it’s done experimenting with ASM. From now on, it looks as though the stories will celebrate and connect with Spidey history.

Honestly, if you’re a long-time Spidey fan who left this book after “One More Day,” it’s time to let bygones be bygones and to check this new story out. It’s thrilling, it’s clever, and it has a huge supporting cast that’s integral to the plot. In short, “New Ways to Die” has all the elements of a classic Spidey story.

Plus, the cliffhanger at the end of this issue is stunning. Thank God part 2 comes out next week!

STORY: 8.5/10
ART: 8.5/10

Appetizer:
Captain America #41 — this book has been so good for so long, and it’s obviously been something that’s been building for pretty much the whole time, and yet now at the very end, I feel like Bru’s lost the reins. With one issue to go, it appears that all this build-up, to the last page “money shot” where Bucky finally fully accepts the mantle of Cap, is going to lead to a conclusion where the Skull’s downfall is due more to his own failure than to Cap’s success. And this book deserves better.

Anywho, Sharon’s baby is dead. The Skull is working on his big mystery plot + trying to separate himself from Lukin, b/c both parties are going insane. Faustus turns traitor, helps Sharon and tips SHIELD. Bucky and Falc trail the Grand Director to Albany, where Skull HQ is, and run into a SHIELD unit led by the Widow. Everybody hits the base to try and rescue Sharon while Bucky is left alone to save the puppet Presiential candidate Sen. Wright, who the Skull has either sent Sin to assassinate, or Sin has taken as much crap from her daddy as she’s gonna and decides to kill him instead of following the actual plan (hard to tell which just yet). But like i said, Skull’s body is betraying him, Faustus is betraying him, Sin appears to be betraying him, and New Cap’s gonna get lucky and have this 40-issue long genius plot to destroy the country disintegrate with very little actual contribution from the good guys. Story’s fine enough on its own, but I’m starting to feel cheated, and the art by Epting is, as usual, terrific. Liked it, but for the first time didn’t love it.

Entree:
FC: Legion of 3 Worlds #1 — I am just not the person to review this. But, i bought it fo the Perez art, and got every penny’s worth and then some on that front; the book’s flat out gorgeous. As to the story, well, original Legion fans will probably be happy, S-Prime fans (are there any?) will be happy, and it’s possible that some fans of a certain dead speedster will eventually be happy (I think it’s pretty obvious who’s coming back via Brainy’s lightning rod from the exposition in this issue, which makes the entirty of the Lightning Saga even more ridiculously awful in hindsight).

But I’ll give it this, a lot of stuff happens. The Time Trapper drops Prime off in 31st Century Smallville, he visits the Superman Museum, get a lot of backstory exposition, and burns the town to the ground. Then he does the same to Takron-Galtos the prison planet, killing every guard and freeing every prisoner to go kill the Legion. Meanwhile, in the aftermath of the LOSH arc in Action, the UP are debating to disband the Legion, RJ Brande shows up to speak for them and gets killed and revealed to be a Durlan, half the Legion’s missing, Mon-El is rescued, Superman is recruited from the present, the team agrees to call in the other two Legions, who are simply nothing more than Legions of different universes (I’m guessing probably uncharted Earths at the moment, but maybe Earth-2 and somewhere else), and Supes decides the only way to stop S-Prime is to try and convince him to be good again. Yep…that’s the grand plan. If this sounds up your alley, more power to you, but as for me, it bored my face off. But like I said, as a Legion-hater to start with, this ain’t exactly designed for me anyway…

Dessert:
Flash #243 — Peyer’s arc concludes with a deception revealed, a heroic stand for Iris, a mystery unraveled, and a father’s triumph. And throughout, something dawned on me that I’ve never thought about before: Wally West has benefitted from 1st-person narration probably more than any other character in comics history. Others may have had as much or more of it (and I’m not sur about that), but nobody has had more quality from it. From Waid through Johns, and now into Peyer, Flash stories are at their best when little nuggets of who Wally is come out and shine in the caption boxes. The speed feats are cool, the action’s fun, and the “Flash Facts” are interesting, but it’s the “Wally Insights” that make this character as fully-developed as he is (and I’d argue he’s as full as ANYBODY). Love or hate the kids, seeing Wally’s reactions to their triumphs and tragedies in this arc humanize him so much, and add so much to the story, and make me glad they’re sticking around. The Freddie Williams art is another love it or hate it aspect of this book (personally, I loved it), but the story was top-notch (although the epilogue/coda may have been a bit trite); loved it

COBRA-LALALALALALALALA*

*Translation Zechs loves the new G.I. Joe vehicle line.

Ah the 1980s. Or how I like to call the period, toy heaven. You had He-Man, Superpowers, MASK, TMNT, Visionaries, Transformers, and numerous other 80s toy lines that made kids whine and cry to their parents that they HAD TO HAVE THESE TOYS. But, there was always one line above all else that where GODS when it came to shelling out stuff.

That was G.I. Joe.

Each thing in that line was always MUST BUY. Either the show, commercials, or comics brainwashed you into beg your parents into getting you this stuff. I thought I broke that habit when the Joe line ended in the mid 90s. When Hasbro relaunched the line in early 00s, the only figures I got where two Cobra B.A.T.s, Snake-Eyes, and Storm Shadow. I didn’t have that same urge to get the figures like I did in the past.

Since the twenty-fifth anniversary of the cartoon and toys hit I’m back having this infectious hunger. Everything of G.I. Joe is must buy again. I go to a Target, Toys R Us, or Wal-Mart. Almost half the time the Joe stuff is sold out or has figures I already have or don’t want (I have enough Snake-Eyes I DO NOT WANT another variety). How bad has this bug hit me? I pretty much have the entire Cobra higher ups. And now I’m army building (getting numerous Cobra Officers, Crimson Guards, Vipers, and B.A.T.s), something I never even did as a kid.

Now Hasbro in their efforts to make this hunger even worse has at last unleashed a vehicle line. And the number one target was to get me a Cobra HISS tank. Why? To feed that endless hunger Hasbro has reawakened. First off, the prices on these vehicles are nice. Around sixteen dollars, with what most things go nowadays is a steal and Hasbro make’s each dollar worth its penny.

Some of the vehicle packs come in two’s while the only one’s (so far) that come alone are the HISS and the Joe’s jeep. So if you’re looking for just one vehicle (say Serpentor’s air chariot), you’re either going to have to stomach getting another vehicle with the purchase and figure you may or may not want (in air chariot’s case, the cape less Serpentor figure is horrible, however the other figures are somewhat better). So if you truly want a vehicle by itself from the set either Option A: buy the entire set and sell the other on ebay. Or.. Option B: go to ebay and buy it from the person who’s doing option A. Hopefully though it can be at a reasonable price and not overpriced (like say over the sixteen dollar limit it’s supposed to be).

However, before I go into the nitty gritty a warning to those toy hunters out there, Target’s version has an alternate figure (a repainted Cobra Officer figure) and a darker blue paint (the others are colored black). Other than that, it pretty much come’s with the same things. So if you’re army building and hunting these tanks down it’s best to know this fact going in.

When it come’s to the Cobra HISS tank itself, it is packaged with a Cobra HISS commander (a repainted HISS driver). It’s true there is a HISS driver out there, but really given it’s a freaking paint job. If you really are obsessive minded you can skip getting the original because the HISS Commander is basically the same figure.

HISS Commander come’s with the usual basics, a stand and a file sheet (which is in the box, not part of the box which it used to be originally when figures came with vehicles). Weapon-wise, the figure come’s with a single pistol that fits nicely into his holster. The HISS Commander is about as poseable as pretty much all the figures in the Joe line. But honestly we all know it’s real use is to be eternally stuck in that driver’s seat, driving this vehicle to mow down some G.I. Joes or be taken down by the Joes. Though I digress, seeing the HISS Commander gunning the turret and the HISS driver driving is kinda cool (if you don’t want one of the Cobra hierarchy doing the gunning, as seen below with Destro).

As for the HISS tank itself, I feel like I’m back in the eighties. It really does feel ripped from that era. The tank can hold about four figures in total (driver, gunner, and two standing on the side). The gun turret on top can move in a 360 degree direction. For the geekier, it even has a hook on its end for the possibility to drag things or tow.

It also come’s with a separate file card for the vehicle and decals, which really leads into the only negative. The direction for the decals are stupid. It has all these numbers of where to put these decals but when you actually look on the sheet, there’s no freaking number to be found. So if you’re giving this to a five or six year old they ain’t going to know jack what goes where. Meaning mommy and daddy are going have to do the dirty work in putting these suckers on. Now for the actual fan or collector it isn’t going to be too much of a problem. The only thing that drove me nuts was perfectly putting a decal on an area that without a small tool is next to impossible to slap it on. Other than that, I didn’t have too much of a problem with it but still I hated the fact that Hasbro has numerical directions of what goes where.

Still, the vehicle rocks. The size, the mold, everything about it is still awesome. Like I said before I feel like I’m back in the eighties and this craving that Hasbro has reignited So in other words I leave my judgment in:

Cobra HISS tank w/Cobra HISS Commander: GET IT!

Hi, I’m the new guy, the name’s Kieran. Thanks in advance for starting to read, and please try and make it to the end, you might enjoy it.

Imagine it’s the Eighties and you’re in the comic shop. Today’s the day you’ve waited for, Watchmen #11 is out today! Walking to the counter a man stops you: “This is the greatest comic of all time!”

Another man pulls him aside:“What are you kidding? Alan Moore sucks!”

You didn’t ask these men for their opinions, but yet more and more are joining in. The shop becomes louder so the opinions get louder, you pay for you comic, struggle through the crowd, and make it out the shop only to have someone stop you:“Ozymandias did it. He did it thirty-five minutes ago and Rorschach and Nite-Owl had no clue. That was the best twist ever!”

Your anticipation for the comic withers and your day is ruined.

We’ve all had an experience like that on the internet. You’re casually cruising the Darkhawk Appreciation Thread when someone manages to relate the topic of conversation to the latest New Avengers and you find out Elektra is a Skrull. This is usually the minority of people on forums, but I’m sure you’ll agree that the internet, to some extent, makes comic reading a lot less special.

Remember back before you started frequenting the forums? I do, it was around the time Civil War was in full swing and I was a naïve little newbie and I thought it was greatest thing ever. I started at the Marvel forums before moving up to Rama because that’s where everyone linked to anyway, but since I started posting more and more frequently, I’m more cynical now, I see twists coming, I spot plot holes. I bash writers I’ve never met and stories I’m sure they’ve worked very hard on. I don’t really want to be this person.

I know different now obviously, I read Civil War again a month back and it sucked, but I can’t help but wonder: do I see the faults because people on the internet told me to look out for them, am I better off recognising a bad story and staying away, or living blissfully ignorant?

On the counter side though, it could be argued that the internet is the greatest tool the industry has today. If it wasn’t for the internet, I’d be stuck reading nothing but generic big two books and wouldn’t go near lesser known, but just as good (if not better) titles like Proof and Casanova. It’s also an indispensable application for creators, I regular frequent the websites of the likes of Ellis, Fraction, Cornell and Ngyuen, and the webcomic craze has made those Penny Arcade guys pretty damn wealthy.

Also, if I didn’t talk on forums, I’d burst because I’d have no place to vent my amazement, anger or downright apathy towards certain comics. Forums are a place for the like-minded to get together and shout at complete strangers for liking Nighthawk. Let me ask you, how many of your fellow posters do you consider friends? How many know your real name? How many have you met? I’ve made countless friends through The Outhouse and ‘Rama, some I intend to meet very soon. Yeah, there are douches out there, but they’re out on the street and in your comic shop as well. I’ve had some bad experiences on the internet and in forums, but if I could go back to when I signed up for Talk@, the only thing different I’d do would be to start posting a hell of a lot sooner.

Discuss

I’ve made it this far: number twenty-five! I might have got here sooner but it’s been a bit of a journey for me, mostly trying to figure out what I like about comics and what I want to write about them. So now here I am doing my “comics as literature” bit.

I thought that since this is a special occasion, I’d take a look at both my favourite writer and one of America’s favourite activities: Alan Moore and sex.

Sex is a big theme of Alan Moore comics, and almost everything he’s written has had some sort of sexual activity involved. The two single issues I will look at are Saga of the Swamp Thing 34 and Promethea 10.

In Saga of the Swamp Thing 34, titled “Rites of Spring”, Swamp Thing and Abby Cable admit their love for each other and decide to consummate their love. Of course, it seems impossible and somewhat gruesome imagining a woman and a plant-creature participating in the love-nookie, but Moore makes it a beautiful thing. Swamp Thing goes into the water, takes a tuber growing from his body and asks Abby to eat it.

Abby asks Swamp Thing if eating the tuber is symbolic and he replies: “Not entirely.” There is implied symbolism in it though. Following that we get fantastic pages of Abby seeing the world through the eyes of Swamp Thing (when he feels like it). The narration captures what is important about sex: “Where we touch, the fibers merge and intertangle.” Moore symbolizes through “sex” between woman and plant is that they are becoming one, not reproducing.

In an interview with the Onion AV Club, Moore said: “”With Promethea, when I was coming up with the initial titles for ABC Comics, I thought, well, I want a comic with a strong female character. I’d also like to have a comic where I can release some of the steam of my magical researches.” The latter statement is of particular interest to me.

Promethea 10, titled “Sex, Stars and Serpents”, Sophie goes to Jack Faust to learn magic and in exchange he gets to have sex with Promethea. Jack Faust says to Promethea “And it’s only symbolism puts magic and meaning into anything…” Again Moore is emphasizing the idea of symbolism behind sex, which bleeds into the earlier published Swamp Thing story as well.

Unlike Swamp Thing and Abby, Promethea and Faust are actually capable of performing the physical nasty and in doing so they ignite some kind of physical one-ness. Faust takes Promethea through the ascending chakras and relates them closely to the Kaballah that Sophie will explore in later issues.

Near the orgasm, Jack explains that Magicians (male and female) are typically male (symbolically). The male is represented by the wand, a phallic symbol representing will. The male is always seeking to penetrate the female, the cup, a symbol of compassion. Because the female is a mystery to the male, the male must know the mystery. When the man (or magician) penetrates the mystery, he becomes the mystery, or the female. They come together, become hermaphrodite, and climb towards the godhead of the Saharsana Chakra, which is located above the head.

Much like Swamp Thing and Abby, Faust and Promethea are coming together. The idea of sex is climbing towards the godhead, and man and woman do that together. Much like Abby and Swamp Thing, Promethea and Faust intertangle, becoming one with each other. The merged man and woman climbing to the godhead figures strongly into the further interpretation of the sex in these two issues, but I’m out of space for this week and I’ll pick up where I left off next week.

Discuss

ACC

Atlantic Division

Clemson and Wake Forest look to be the class of the division.  The Tigers come into 2008 loaded, with 18 starters returning.  They have 3 offensive players who were named to the Preseason All-ACC team in quarterback Cullen Harper, running back James Davis, and receiver Aaron Kelly.  The Demon Deacons come into the season ranked 23rd in the country and a three game stretch against Clemson at home and road games against Maryland and Miami should determine whether or not they’re for real.  The returning combo of quarterback Riley Skinner and running back Josh Adams, last year’s ACC rookie or the year, should fuel a potent offense and have Wake Forest playing in a bowl again.

The rest of the division is in a state of flux.  Boston College has a talented front seven on defense, but almost every other position on the team is being turned over.  Maryland still hasn’t settled on a quarterback, and Jordan Steffey, Chris Turner, and freshman Josh Portis will probably all see playing time this year.  Florida St. has only two returning offensive lineman on a team that already had problems moving the ball.  Drew Weatherford will be the starter, but Christian Ponder and EJ Manuel will also see time behind center. North Carolina St. has five players who could conceivably see time at quarterback this season, and only return 4 players on the defensive side of the ball.  However, considering that the defense gave up 186 yards per game on the ground a year ago, that probably isn’t a bad thing.

Coastal Division

The Virgina Tech Hokies are the reigning champion of the ACC, and a weak Coastal Division means that they’re likely to at least make it back to the championship game, but they aren’t without chinks in their armor. Sean Glennon and Tyrod Taylor have been battling for the quarterback position, but neither have distinguished themselves enough to claim the job.  North Carolina lost 8 games last year, but 6 of those were by 7 points or less, and their conference schedule is so soft it borders on absurd.  They run into a few problems out of conference, but if they can find a way to beat Virgina Tech there’s a chance that Butch Davis could have this team playing for an ACC title.

Duke and Georgia Tech are breaking in new coaches and new systems, as David Cutcliffe and Paul Johnson take over the reigns.  Expect Cutcliffe to have quarterback Thaddeus Lewis and receiver Eron Riley putting up gaudy numbers, but not enough to overcome Duke’s severe lack of talent.  Johnson is trying to install the option in Atlanta, but right now it’s a lot like fitting square pegs into round holes and a brutal schedule isn’t doing them any favors.  The Miami Hurricanes have a fantastic recruting class coming in for coach Randy Shannon, and you should expect a lot of them to see playing time this season as they try to rebound from last year’s disastrous 5-7 campaign.   Virgina was already in rebuilding mode before a rash of off the field incidents gutted the roster, expect this season to be a very long one for Al Groh and the Cavaliers.

Big 12

North

There’s a good chance that the annual Border War between Missouri and Kansas will end up deciding the North’s representative in the Big 12 championship game.  The Tigers schedule lines up perfectly, with games against Texas and Kansas being the only real stumbling blocks for a team that returns Heisman candidate Chase Daniel and receiver Jeremy Maclin.  The Jayhawks return 9 players from a very good defense, but their schedule might be more than they can overcome.  After a start which should see them go 6-0, Kansas must navigate games at Oklahoma, vs. Texas Tech, vs Kansas St,  at Nebraska, vs Texas, and then the Border War to close out the year.

Kansas St. should be an interesting team to watch.  Freshman quarterback Josh Freeman threw for 3,353 yards and 18 touchdowns last year as a freshman, but a lack of weapons at running back and receiver might make things tougher for him this year.  At Colorado Dan Hawkins has emphasized physicality and conditioning, which should help the Buffaloes improve, but the real story in Boulder is freshman running back Darrell Scott.  Remember the name, because he has a chance to be this season’s break out star, not only because of his running ability, but because he’s also a gifted kicker who may take the field as a punter. The Nebraska Cornhuskers gave up 476.8 yards per game last year, so Bo Pelini’s first order of business has to be finding a way to improve the once proud blackshirts.  Gene Chizik is looking to improve things in Ames, as Iowa St. has gone 9-27 in their last three seasons, but it looks as though any real improvement is years down the road.

South

The Big 12 South, home of juggernauts Oklahoma, Texas, and…..Texas Tech?!?!  If coach Mike Leach and the Red Raiders are ever going to make the jump from national curiosity to national power this is the year.  Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree will be up for Heisman consideration, and a defense that improved by leaps and bounds last season is mostly intact.  Oklahoma’s defense will rely on what might be the best defensive line in the country.  Sam Bradford returns at quarterback and looks to put up even more gaudy numbers behind an offensive line that features 5 seniors.  Texas has as much talent as anyone in the country, but a defense that finished 56th nationally has to improve if the Longhorns hope to challenge Oklahoma and Texas Tech.  Look for sophomore John Chiles to get some snaps in place of Colt McCoy as Texas tries to maximize its talent.

At Texas A&M Mike Sherman is bringing a Pro Style offense to College Station, which should allow quarterback Stephen McGee to show off an arm he rarely got a chance to display in the previous two seasons.  Former Alabama defensive coordinator Joe Kines will also bring a more aggressive style of defense to the Aggies.  Oklahoma St. is very similar to Nebraska.  They have a high powered offense lead by Zac Robinson that is coupled with an absolutely atrocious defense.  If the Cowboy defense can improve the Cowboys offense is good enough to get 7-8 wins.  Art Briles comes to Baylor from a Houston program that he led to back to back bowl appearances.  He’ll need to be a miracle worker if he expects to build Baylor into anything other than an afterthought.

Big East

In 1996 the South Florida Bulls didn’t exist.  In 2008 they’re expected to contend for the Big East title and a BCS berth. That’s a pretty amazing rise, and coach Jim Leavitt deserves most of the credit.  Matt Grothe needs to improve on his 14 touchdown, 14 interception performance from last year, but running back Matt Ford and  stifling defense should help. Pat White and Noel Devine are the sole reason that West Virginia is the favorite to win the Big East this year.  New coach Bill Stewart led the team to a victory over Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl last season, but the team loses seven defensive starters and star running back Steve Slaton, so nothing is certain.  Most people don’t remember that the Connecticut Huskies shared the Big East title with West Virginia last season, but 8 returning defensive starters, quarterback Tyler Lorenzen, and talented running backs Donald Brown should insure that they’re in place to challenge for the title again.

Pittsburgh’s LeSean McCoy is one of the most dynamic and exciting players in the nation, and linebacker Scott McKillop returns after recording 151 tackles last year to lead one of the better defenses in the country.  If quarterback Bill Stull and receiver Derek Kinder can develop into enough of a threat to take some pressure off of the talented McCoy, then Pittsburgh could end up challenging for the league title.  Cincinnati went 10-3 last season, but that was behind quarterback Ben Mauk, who recently lost an appeal for a 6th year of eligibility.  The Bearcats look to rely on their defense to carry them into the postseason.  Rutgers looks to be in a rebulding year after losing Ray Rice to the NFL, but a good defense and quarterback Mike Teel look to have the Scarlet Knights back in the upper half of the Big East.  It’s not easy to think of  a scenario where this isn’t Greg Robinson’s last season as the head coach for the Syracuse Orange.  The team ranked poorly in just about every statistical category,  and there doesn’t look to be any help coming.  Louisville is installing a new offense, new quarterback, new coordinators on both sides of the ball, and is turning over almost every position on defense, so don’t expect them to improve on last year’s 6-6 record.

Discuss

The East

Tampa Bay Rays: The Rays suffered two injuries to key players this week. First was Carl Crawford, with a subluxation (don’t ask me, I’m not a doctor) of his right middle finger tendon. He will have surgery to repair the tendon on Thursday. Recovery is expected to be 6-8 weeks, meaning Crawford could miss the remainder of the season. Then Rookie Evan “Don’t call me Eva” Longoria was sent to the 15 day disabled list with a fractured wrist he suffered Monday against the Seattle Mariners after being hit by a pitch. It will be interesting to see what impact these injuries will have the on the team as the season winds down and the race for the division gets hotter.

Boston Red Sox: The Red Sox were also bit by the injury bug this week when Mike Lowell was sent to the disabled list with a strained right oblique muscle. Lowell suffered the injury Wednesday during the unbelievable 19-17 pitchers duel over the Texas Rangers. But the Sox also made a move to shore up their starting rotation by acquiring veteran pitcher Paul Byrd from the Cleveland Indians. Byrd is 7-10 with a 4.53 ERA with the hapless Indians this season.

New York Yankees: Things aren’t looking good in the Bronx. They went 3-7 on a 10 game road trip, Ian Kennedy once again crashed and burned (and didn’t seem to care) in the majors and Hank Steinbrenner has already started talking about 2009. As hard as it is to ever really count the Yankees out, “It’s getting late early” as Yogi would say.

The Central

Chicago White Sox: Yep, the White Sox are still on top, although they briefly lost their grip on the top slot to the Twins this week. And the White Sox haven’t managed to avoid injuries either, as Jose Contreras ruptured his Achilles tendon and will miss the remainder of the season. This adds to a heap of injuries the team has suffered this season and right now they’re scrambling to find another starter. Meanwhile, the Twins smell blood in the water.

Minnesota Twins: Twins manager Ron Gardenhire notched his 600th career victory this week. And the surprising Twins are gaining ground on the White Sox. Amazing, since this team lost Tori Hunter and Johan Santana in the off-season and somehow ended up a better team.

The West

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: They’re still awesome.

Discuss

By Eli Katz

Writer: Marc Guggenheim
Artist: Phil Jimenez

Listen up all you Joe Q-bashing, “One More Day”-hating fanboys. It’s time to get over your contempt for the magic mindwipe and to start reading Amazing Spider-Man again. I’m not saying that ASM is some great, groundbreaking work of genius. It’s not. But after an onslaught of really bad stories with really lame villains (like Freak and Menace), Marvel has finally dropped the “Brand New Day” banner and has started to put out some decent Spidey stories again. 

And by decent, I mean stories that have cool villains and some clear connections to Spidey history.

In issue 567, Marc Guggenheim does a great job of concluding a fun, three-part arc that’s based on J.M. DeMatteis’s classic Spider-Man tale, “Kraven’s Last Hunt.” Guggenheim incorporates some of the same characters and situations that DeMatteis used back in 1987, but he pens a story that’s much lighter in tone and style than the original. This is a wise move. There’s no point in trying to mimic or remake one of the greatest Spidey stories ever told. That would be sheer folly. So what Guggenheim does is pay reverence to the source material by producing a lighthearted companion piece, aptly titled “Kraven’s First Hunt.”

The story is a tongue-in-cheek tribute, but it’s never a parody. Kraven’s daughter, Ana, takes up the family legacy of hunting down superheroes. But she mistakes Peter’s roommate for Spider-Man and abducts him instead, forcing the poor guy to wear Peter’s last Spidey costume. Eventually Peter figures out what has happened and, after borrowing a Daredevil outfit from Matt Murdock, he follows Ana into the vast New York sewer system. The only problem is that before he can save his roommate, he has to take on a very hungry Vermin.

It’s amusing to see Spidey swinging around in Daredevil’s costume, and it’s awesome to see Vermin make an appearance in this Spidey story when he played such a crucial role in DeMatteis’s masterpiece. But the best part of this arc is that Kraven’s daughter is portrayed as having the smarts and the strength to actually defeat Spider-Man. She’s a truly menacing foe, who takes Peter to the limit and forces him to fight wildly for his life. Believe it or not, that’s something new for Spidey.

The “Brand New Day” reboot has had many problems, but one of the biggest is that the stories have lacked a sense of real danger. Most of the new villains have come across as losers and lightweights, who’ve had no chance of beating Spider-Man. It’s hard to feel threatened by a guy like Overdrive, whose main power is to transform normal cars into evil vehicles. Whoa, scary! Not since the late ’70s, with throwaway villains like Big Wheel and Rocket Racer, has ASM been so devoid of suspense.

Kraven’s daughter, Ana, is a welcome departure. She rips apart Spidey’s webbing effortlessly and easily matches his speed and agility. This is the kind of foe that Spidey should be battling on a regular basis. But what makes “Kraven’s First Hunt” so satisfying is that Spidey has to confront not only Ana, but Vermin, too. This tag-team combination provides nonstop thrills and adds some much-needed edginess to ASM.

Phil Jimenez does a great job illustrating the long climatic battle between Ana, Vermin, and Spidey. He definitely makes sure that the action flows seamlessly from panel to panel and from page to page. My only complaint with his art is that he makes his Spider-Man look too much like Todd McFarlane’s, with the oversized eyes and the tiny web pattern. I find the look too cartoonish for Jimenez’s otherwise realistic approach to character design.

But all in all, it’s a solid issue and a solid arc. And it might just mark the beginning of Spidey’s rejuvenation. After all, next week’s issue promises the return of Venom. Now that’s more like it!
STORY: 7.5/10
ART: 7.5/10

By Jesse Chin

As I mentioned in my last column, August is usually a slow time in terms of baseball news and rumors. The non-waiver trading deadline has come and gone, teams have usually solidified their line-ups, and September call-ups are still a month away. So with the season past the two-thirds mark, I thought it’d be best to go over the most disappointing players of the 2008 season so far and what the plan of action their teams should take in regards to them:

Arizona Diamondbacks – OF Chris Young. While his batting average and on-base percentage never did impress, the D-Backs looked at Young as a catalyst at the top of the line-up that provided power and speed to the team. So it must be a huge concern that Young is providing neither of that. He’s produced only 8 SB’s in 12 attempts and his slugging percentage is 50 points lower than last year’s production. Young, a player who looked to be a regular threat to join the 30/30 Club, could possibly struggle to eclipse 20 in either category. With an OPS barely over .700, this “slugger” really hasn’t provided much pop to this year’s team which wouldn’t be a problem if he was able to get on-base more often. The problem is that he just isn’t able to. Arizona has already dropped him down in the order due to his offensive woes and I agree with their decision. He just isn’t lead-off material and if he continued to bat there, he’d just be a detriment to the team.

Atlanta Braves – OF Jeff Francoeur. In his fourth professional season in the majors, one would think that Frenchy would be hitting his stride, adapting to big league pitching and showing all the potential that the team expected of him. However, what we’ve seen is a painful regression that is compounded by the multiple injuries that the team has been facing all over their roster. For the season so far, Francoeur has posted a line of .228 BA/.288 OBP/.350 SLG which is, quite simply put, horrible. What will be interesting to see is how the team will react when arbitration times comes this off-season. Considering the team’s approach to former face-of-the-franchise Andruw Jones, and how much money Francoeur might receive in the process (possibly $3-5 M), could it be possible that the team would just cut him loose? In short, Francoeur …I hope you’re unemployed next season…For everyone’s sake…

Chicago Cubs – RP Bob Howry. On a team that really doesn’t have much disappointment, it’s quite hard to find someone who isn’t holding up their end of the bargain. If Howry is the player that the Cubs have to worry about for the rest of the season, I think that they don’t have much to worry about. Everything about this year screams fluke when you look over just how consistent he’s been during his tenure with the team. This is the first season in five years where Howry has posted a WHIP over 1.15 or even an ERA over 3.40. It’s possible that age has caught up to him, but he deserves the benefit of the doubt considering his reliability over the years. Plus, with a deep bullpen with Kerry Wood, Carlos Marmol, Michael Wuertz, etc, the team is deep enough to provide the reliever some relief of his own.

Cincinnati Reds – SP Aaron Harang. After having three great years as the ace of the staff, Harang has struggled this year and simply hasn’t provided the team anything of value. He’s given up a run in every start this season and has given up four or more runs eight times as well. For someone who was looked upon to provide stability to a rotation with many inexperienced players (Edinson Volquez, Johnny Cueto, Homer Bailey), he has to be looked upon as a major disappointment for the season. To be honest, I don’t think the Reds have what it takes to be contenders anymore after this season with the jettisoning of Ken Griffey Jr. and the inevitable departure of Adam Dunn after this year. They should consider moving Harang for some offensive help as the team will be in dire need of some punch to the middle of the order.

Colorado Rockies – SP Jeff Francis. Francis is another supposed ace who just hasn’t fulfilled his obligations. I’ve always given some leeway to pitchers operating in Colorado, but his numbers are just horrible across the board. At home, on the road, against lefties, against righties, etc. and in fact, his ERA on the road is almost 50 points higher in comparison to his home numbers. He was put on to the 15-day DL for left shoulder inflammation, from which he’s come back already, so I’m willing to give him a pass and let him try to pitch his way through it, but if he continues to be unproductive, I’m going to assume that 2006-2007 seasons were aberrations rather than this year’s numbers.

Florida Marlins – OF Jeremy Hermida. In what can be considered his third year in the majors, Hermida has yet to turn the corner and show everyone his true potential. His BA is at .260 which would be fine if he were drawing enough walks to bring his OBP to a respectable number but he is failing to do so. He’s also slugging about 70 points lower than he did in 2007 which is mostly based on his decrease in doubles. It’s not that surprising considering they’ve been batting him second and third for most of the season without much protection behind him. I know that if I were an opposing pitcher, I’d take my chances with Mike Jacobs and Jorge Cantu as well. It was good to see Hermida dropped down in the order against the Mets on Sunday as it really takes advantage of his full potential and forces pitchers to throw to him. He responded with a 2-2 night with a walk, sac fly and an RBI. If they continue to leave him there, I think he can continue to post solid numbers batting behind Dan Uggla and Cody Ross.

Houston Astros – SS Miguel Tejada. I would normally have said Roy Oswalt for the biggest disappointment but I’m going to have to point fingers at Tejada for his failure to score in that bandbox they call Minute Maid Park. Considering the Stros gave up players like Luke Scott (.262 BA/.345 OBP/.496 SLG) and Matt Albers (3-3, 3.49 ERA, 1.327 WHIP) for him, you’d expect better production than what he has been giving. Tejada, while batting a respectable .284 has only drawn 20 walks so far this season, leaving his OBP at an anemic .318. Pair that with his sub par 12 homeruns and his slugging percentage is only at .425 (ranking him only fifth among regulars in that category). All of these numbers are significant drops to his 2007 production as well. With his defensive abilities dwindling more and more each year, one has to wonder how much longer he can succeed at SS. Unfortunately, the team doesn’t have many options to place there and there aren’t any major upgrades available in the free agent market so the Astros might be stuck with Tejada for a while. They honestly have no other option other than to play him.

Los Angeles Dodgers – 2B Jeff Kent. It was a tough decision deciding whom to choose among the lackluster players in the Dodgers organization but I finally was able to decide on Kent. With players like Brad Penny and Andruw Jones in contention, it was a tough choice but I think that Kent was the obvious winner. I gave a bye to Penny because of his injury and I can’t be certain that his lack of production wasn’t related to it and Jones sucked last year, so you really can’t be considered a disappointment if you’re comparing it to a horrid season from the previous year. Thus…Kent is my choice. On a team without any notable power threat, the Dodgers obviously thought they could rely on Kent to provide some respectability to the middle of the order. He had a 2007 line of .302 BA/.375 OBP/.500 SLG so it wasn’t like the Dodgers were pulling these expectations out of nowhere but man, did Kent disappoint. He’s currently batting .265 with a weak OBP of .318 and he just isn’t hitting for extra bases (20 doubles, 11 homeruns and 1 triple in 359 AB’s). With the acquisition of Manny Ramirez, the team has alleviated some of the burden off of Kent’s back and allows him to drop down in the order. Retirement looks (or it should be at least) to be on the horizon for the career leader in HR among second basemen.

Milwaukee Brewers – 2B Rickie Weeks. So much potential…wasted. I was tempted to put Eric Gagne in this spot but I just felt bad doing so knowing that his arm is probably being held together by three rubber bands and a piece of Bubblicious (watermelon flavor). Bill Hall was also in the running (it must suck to hit your peak at 26…it’s just disappointment for the rest of your prime years) but alas…Andruw Jones rule (you suck the year before, you don’t count). Now you might say, “But Jesse, Rickie Weeks sucked last year too”, to which I’d reply “Nope. You’re wrong…” Sure his batting average looked miniscule last season, but he supplemented that with a solid OBP (.373 in 2007), hit for nice rate of extra bases (21 doubles, 6 triples and 16 homeruns in 409 AB’s) and stole 25 bases as well. This year, his walk rate has dropped and his extra base power has declined. It looks like the Brewers have gotten wary of this as they acquired Ray Durham during the July trading sweeps and will have them both split time together. Personally, I dig Weeks and want him to succeed, but he just can’t seem to pull it all together. One more season and if he doesn’t man-up…then ship him out.

New York Mets – RP Aaron Heilman. For some reason, Heilman is giving up a higher rate of homeruns this season. He’s already given up more this season than in 06 or 07 and in less innings pitched. I’d normally suggest that he get demoted to a less stressful role in the bullpen. Perhaps something in the fifth or sixth inning, but with the struggles that Duaner Sanchez has been having, the relegation of Pedro Feliciano to be a lefty specialist and the injury to Billy Wagner, the Mets do not have the luxury to do so. In fact, Heilman is the new closer in Wagner’s absence, so one has to hope that Heilman can get back on track in this new, high-impact role. Who knows? Maybe more pressure is what Heilman needs to get his head back on straight.

Philadelphia Phillies – OF Geoff Jenkins. With players like Pat Burrell, Jimmy Rollins, Chase Utley and Ryan Howard hitting in front of him, you’d expect Jenkins to get a lot of great pitches to hit. I mean, this is a guy who was productive on some bad Brewers teams with literally nobody around to protect him. He would regularly hit in the 20-30 HR range and have solid walk rates. It’s true that Jenkins hasn’t been an everyday player, but he plays often enough that his numbers should be a lot better than this, especially with that Big Four ahead of him in the line-up. However, Jayson Werth is just out-producing him and it’s time that Werth gets the majority of the AB’s in RF. Late in games, you can then pull him and hustle out Jenkins as a defensive replacement.

Pittsburgh Pirates – 2B Freddy Sanchez. It’s hard to believe that he’s a former batting title champion but you live by the bat and you die by the bat. Sanchez is one of those one-dimensional players that just really can only do one thing well. He’s not an exceptional defender. He doesn’t hit for power. He doesn’t walk. He doesn’t have much base-running ability. He’s simply a guy who can hit. Unfortunately this year, he can’t even do that. What’s even more unfortunate is that he’s predominantly batted first or second in the line-up for the Pirates this season which means they’ve started games with basically one out already on the board. I would take this opportunity to just bench him and play a prospect like SS Brian Bixler more often. While he might be just as bad offensively for the short-term, it would help his development for the long-term. This is a team that’s rebuilding so it doesn’t make sense to send out a 30 year old that can’t do anything worthwhile for your team.

San Diego Padres – SS Khalil Greene. The San Diego Padres are in last place in the NL West…Yes, you read that right. They’re worse than the San Francisco Giants. They have the reigning Cy Young winner Jake Peavy, MVP candidate Adrian Gonzalez, career leader in saves Trevor Hoffman, future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux, another All-Star pitcher in Chris Young and one game away from the playoffs last year and they’re dead-last in their division. One of the reasons is this man, Khalil Greene. He has been horrid in 2008 and it boggles the mind how he still has a job. He hasn’t had a batting average over .255 since his rookie season (.213 this season), he’s unable to draw walks (.260 OBP in 0Cool and it’s pretty apparent that his power surge last season was an anomaly (.339 SLG this year). He has an OPS under .600 which is pretty hard to do. I think the only other person to do that had one leg and ran the bases with a crutch. It’s time to cut the cord on Greene and send him packing.

San Francisco Giants – SP Barry Zito. Big shock I know…Barry Zito, you suck at life. It’s pretty hard to be worse than you were last year, but you accomplished that! Congrats you tard. It’s pretty sad to imagine but if Zito wasn’t on the Giants, they potentially could be contending in the NL West…Retire already Barry “My Last Name Rhymes With Cheeto” Zito.

St Louis Cardinals – CL Jason Isringhausen. On a team that’s severely overachieving, Isringhausen has been the weak link in the chain. We’re seeing huge seasons from people like Kyle Lohse and Ryan Ludwick and the Cardinals can’t trust in their former All-Star closer to shut the door for them? I don’t know what’s going on with Izzy but when Ryan Franklin has to save your rear, you know that you have problems. The Cards are going to be utilizing a closer-by-committee approach but I’d sever ties with Isringhausen after this season and call up someone in September to audition to be his replacement.

Washington Nationals – OF Wily Mo Pena. He is the epitome of potential not equating to success. You thought Khalil Greene was bad? Wait until you see the season Wily Mo Pena had. His line for the season was an abysmal .205 BA/.243 OBP/.267 SLG. That’s right…he couldn’t even break .300 in slugging! I know I said that I would exclude injury from this list and apparently Pena is revealing that he’s been hurt for the better part of the past two seasons, but these numbers are simply too bad to blame on just a hurt shoulder. To think, he got paid $2 M for production that I could probably eclipse.

So just like last week, hope you enjoyed it and if not, feel free to send me PM’s with any suggestions or helpful tidbits that you think I might be able to use. Also if there are any questions or topics that you want me to touch upon for the next edition, send me those as well.

-Jesse Chin

Writer: Grant Morrison
Artist: Tony Daniel

I imagine if David Lynch wrote a Batman story, he would produce something like R.I.P.: a hallucinogenic nightmare where ghosts and gargoyles and dwarf-like bat creatures talk with greater coherence than the hero himself. Of course, representations of madness are nothing new in Batman books. Ever since the Joker made his first appearance back in 1940, the Dark Knight has had to deal with a steady stream of lunatics.

But R.I.P. takes this familiar theme and pumps it up to a freaky new level — a David Lynch level, where you expect to see Dennis Hopper sucking on an oxygen mask and saying, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy … Baby wants to fuck.” Yeah, Batman #679 — the fourth chapter of R.I.P. — is that good.

And that weird.

Bruce Wayne is still amnesic and down and out, pushing around a shopping cart along skid row and washing up in Gotham’s filthiest men’s rooms. But when he isn’t busy picking through the trash, he’s donning a multicolored Bat suit and torturing bad guys with a big, satisfied grin. It’s the kind of grin you’d expect to see on the Joker’s face. And while Tony Daniel’s art has been uneven throughout this series, he does a great job in this issue of depicting the physical signs of Bruce’s depravity and dementia.

So what exactly is going on? Bat-Mite, who could double as the dwarf in Twin Peaks, offers an explanation. “Batman thinks of everything,” he tells Bruce. “Batman is even prepared for psychological attack with a backup identity, remember? He made a secret self to save him. The Batman of Zur-en-arrh.”

Meanwhile, the League of Villains continues its reign of terror on Bruce’s allies and loved ones. Dr. Hurt brutalizes Alfred beyond human limits; Commissioner Gordon is lured into a booby-trapped Wayne Manor; and Jezebel finds herself in Arkham Asylum, surrounded by demented surgeons who discuss the merits of “radical lobotomies.”

With R.I.P., Grant Morrison is constructing a horror story that relies as much on sadism as it does on surrealism. And if it were nothing more than a jarring psychological thriller, it would be an excellent read. But in addition to these nightmarish elements, Morrison is constructing a mystery in which Thomas Wayne could still be alive and not be Bruce’s biological father. The possibility of such revelations adds even more suspense to an already heart-pounding, over-the-top page-tuner.

So far, Morrison has done a superb job in telling this ghoulish story, and no doubt the frenzied momentum will continue for the remaining chapters of R.I.P. The only concern now is that Morrison will take the madness too far and rewrite a significant portion of the Batman mythos. At this point, after nearly 70 years of Batman stories, do fans really want to learn that Martha Wayne conceived Bruce in an orgy involving Alfred? That would probably go down as the worst retcon in comic-book history.

But my guess is that like any good mystery — and especially one that’s David Lynch weird — R.I.P. will upend expectations several times before reaching a satisfying conclusion. I really hope so because R.I.P. is shaping up to be one of the best Batman stories in years. It would be a crying shame to see it ruined by an unnecessary retcon.

STORY: 9/10
ART: 8/10

The newest wave of Green Lantern figures, Series 3 is out and are the latest bunch of figures from DC Direct. The figures included in this set cover pretty much the biggest highlights of the past two years of GL stories GL Batman (from Hal and Bruce’s team up in GL #9), Star Sapphire (from GL #18-20), Sinestro, and the Cyborg Superman (both in their respective costumes from the GL event “The Sinestro Corps War”).

Each figure come’s with their own Green Lantern symbol base. It’s a nice transparent green and the figures hold up pretty good (compared to say figures in the First Appearance line). As for the figures themselves, well best to list the best first and the worst if you can call it that last.

And with that I look at Sinestro, who looks ripped from the Sinestro Corps Special #1, thus perfectly capturing the design Ethan Van Sciver created in it. It’s kind of mind boggling that this is the best figure of the set when it also was a last minute addition (originally a Hal Jordan figure with flight suit construct thankfully taken out). Sinestro’s sculpt is surprisingly posable (he can do his chant pose or “I bleed fear” pose) and detailed (the creepy yellow pupils in his eyes). He even come’s with a yellow lantern so you can envision him saying his infamous oath when you have him strike it and has fellow Sinestro Corps member, Despotellis (the sentient virus who screwed GL Kyle Rayner’s life horribly) to tag along with him. All this adds to the level of must buy.

The Cyborg Superman on the other hand is something onto itself. Now I know one of the outcries of this set early on was the fact that there are two alternate versions of two top DC Characters, but those truly seeped in GL lore know why the Cyborg Superman had to be put into this GL wave eventually. And once one can get over that, you can get onto how awesomely designed it is. The figure itself is highly detailed (his yellow rings are all various designs and have a nice distinct yellowish tone to them. If you have the figure, look even closer at his robotic parts. The lines and where the circuitry stops and goes is just astonishing. Finally to go into even more detailed, when comparing him to DC Direct Justice League of America’s Superman they’re the exact same size and proportions. So the Cyborg Superman truly is a twisted copy figure wise to his heroic fleshy namesake.

As with Sinestro, Henshaw is very posable as well. Curiously, his main one (from the cover of GL #12 ) was way before the SCW. It is this fact that that make’s me wonder if it was a last minute decision from DC Direct to switch the character’s design a little from that to SCW costume. The reasons for this thought are because Henshaw only has rings on one hand (while he wields both) and originally the figure was to have a black cape (changed to red). If this is true, then it’s quite sad DC Direct just didn’t give us a Henshaw variant. With the costume he wore in GL#12 and his Sinestro Corps one. Instead rushing this modified figure out.

Regardless, the figure is still awesome and a must buy as well. The only real problems on the figure is that the cybernetic hand (only goes two ways) and Henshaw’s human eye is red (which you could allude to it being heat vision or the fact this dude is EVIL). Still, both problems are minor nitpicks and those who truly hunger for a Cyborg Superman figure (given how rare his original Reign figures are) then buy it.

Next we come to the other big DC hero included in this set, GL Batman. Only shown for one panel in GL #9, it’s a nice addition. The figure perfectly captures the single moment when Bruce put on the ring (as shown in the figure with the Bat symbol bursting from the GL one). Like the other two, he’s as posable as them. However, I would say there’s very little use for the figure, other than being put on a desk and kept to one pose. The reason being the combined Bat GL symbol while a cool looking thing is also a curse given it could easily come off from playing with the figure (and come on I know some people and kids will try). So if you’re getting this figure you might want to keep it in a place where wee hands can’t get to it and break it.

Still I would say this figure isn’t high on the must buy list compared to the other two given he’s only truly for the hardcore Batman fans and those who want to envision him from the Elseworld tale Batman became GL. So alas I would say GL Batman is a pass, unless your a fan.

Finally there’s Carol Ferris aka Star Sapphire in her new design. Alas to say compared to the men, Star has the least poseablity (so those looking to mimic her stance from GL #18 cover sorry to say you can’t). Other than her alluring features, that’s the best I can say and I’m somewhat disappointed in the figure. You think DC Direct could have included a movable head thus you can switch Sapphire’s identity from Carol to Cowgirl. Or given her a Sapphire gem that started this whole mess. But nope you just get the figure and that’s it. Also, unlike the other three, she doesn’t really look like her comic counterpart (it feels more generic). But if you’re in need of a female rogue in your Legion of Doom or add to the GL Rogues. Then buy Star. If not avoid and wait, because no doubt there might be another figure of the Corps she represents (Pink/Lust) carried over in another DC Direct GL wave.

Overall, this wave is pretty good. For those craving some GL villains and alternate GLs you won’t be disappointed with this set. On the other hand, the GL series is still lacking a few characters that deserve to be in figure form (Kyle as Ion, John Stewart, Bzzd, Soranik Natu, Sodam Yat, Mongul, Laira as a Red Lantern, Alpha Lanterns, more Sinestro Corps Members, and more various colored corps).

So in retrospect:

Sinestro- BUY IT!

Cyborg Superman- BUY IT!

GL Batman- Maybe, for the hardcore fan.

Star Sapphire- Pass.

Booster Gold 11 — More zany Booster fun, this time by Dixon and Jurgens, who maintain the same feel as the previous writers; Chuck references out an obscure pest from his run on Detective and tells a new time-travel cluster-bomb featuring Batman, Robin, Killer Moth (a chap22 fave!), and more. Babs/Batgirl screws up the initial heist and breaks mystical doodad, thus leading to a time anomaly and Gotham without a Batman; Booster thinks he helps by replacing Killer Moth and making sure the heist goes as planned and the doohickey remain unscathed. In doing so, however, he punks Bats & crew, giving the real Killer Moth instant street cred which he uses to take over Gotham, so everything’s still screwed. So now, he gets to try again, only this time he intend to take Batman’s place…our story cliffhangs showing this may not have been the brightest idea. More of the best art of Jurgens’ career, and a fun little fast-moving story in the classic Dixon mold, peppered with humorous dialogue; loved it.

Entree:
Secret Invasion 5 — I had planned to drop this and catch up later, but my LCS guy told me business picked up this issue; he was right. This is definitely more like the Marvel of old that I used to love. Norman Osborn talks the Skrull Capt. Marvel into turning (in what was IMO the one really stupid scene in the book); Fury and the Young Avengers discuss what’s happening; the Skrulls issue an ultimatum to the world (in a very cool 2-page splash scene); Maria Hill outsmarts and wipes out the Jarvis Skrull & his cohorts by using a tried-and-true SHIELD classic, then self-destructing the helicarrier; Agent Brand whoops Skrull ass and rescues Reed Richards, who immediately commences to begin single-handedly turn the tide; and the Avengers are reunited in the Savage Land where Reed and Brand show up with a gun that turns the Avenger-Skrulls back to normal-Skrulls; without giving too much away, if you skip to the last page splash of Clint Barton, you’ll know how that reveal went (damn you, Bendis…). I’m still not a fan of Yu, Bendis still doesn’t really get all these characters IMO; and the story still has some big logic holes, but I gotta admit I really liked this issue, and I’m staying on board for the rest; really liked it.

Dessert:
Batman 679 — Daniel’s art still isn’t good enough to convey exactly what’s happening in all the action scenes and his storytelling is nowhere NEAR good enough to follow a Morrisonian plot yet. Morrison’s dialogue still reeks. And Morrison’s storytelling is so all-over-the-place that I know exactly what’s going on and I’m STILL confused. Yet despite all that, I’m having an inordinate amount of fun reading this storyline. It’s just crazy enough that it’s enjoyable. Not genius, not really all that ground-breaking, none of the other superlatives that the Cult of Morrison love to throw around, but it’s a hell of a lot of fun nonetheless. Batman trips out and kicks ass. We’re told pretty much most of what’s going on. Robin calls in some new backup. Arkham Asylum is taken over by the inmates (well…one inmate and some new help from the Club of Villains). The Commish pays a visit on stately Wayne manor to find something he didn’t expect. Alfred chats with Dr. Hurt/Black Glove, and stuff starts to come to a head; loved it but almost hate myself for it.

Hey look, Superman is crying… again! Batman is going over the deep end… again! Just what the hell is up with our heroes at the beginning of the new millennium? I’ll tell you what – lack of real women, that’s what!

Superman married Lois Lane, who seems to be kicking more ass than he is. Our night-time vigilante with the ears still has a bat-boner for that leather clad vixen, Selina Kyle, who’s actually a helluva lot more dangerous than her paramour. No wonder the real men are cracking up, they’ve got no one to save. Even the love of Steve Rogers’ life is an ass kicking agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., who loved him, now carries his child, and then turned around and shot and killed him. I don’t think I would call her a damsel in distress. In fact, I bet she doesn’t even own a dress!

What happened to those good old days when our ladies would wear their pearls, their long white gloves, and pill box hats? They’d find a clue that our hero overlooked (perhaps on purpose?), and would run right into the clutches of the villain du jour. Our heroes would find out the love of their lives were in trouble, a dilemma that would create extra girth in their tights and off they would go.

Those were real women. Women who understood that there place was tied up on the railroad tracks, or cooing over the love of their life as they were whisked to safety. Just once I’d like to hear a tied up Emma Frost scream, “Oh who’s going to save me now?” (Though she does wear the white gloves, so I’ll give her half a point for that.)

I hate to say it folks, but the women’s movement has totally destroyed a woman’s right to be hog-tied, manhandled, and cry in frustration at the drop of a hat. Now they’re all walking around with boobs that make Pamela Anderson jealous, and telling our manly men to stuff it, they’ll get out of the perilous situations themselves.

Yet, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps the nearly all male writers have realized the error of their ways. Cocky little Lois is hanging on by a thread, Sharon’s been gutted like a Lake Michigan pike, and even though the mutant messiah is nothing more than a baby, it is a female child. Perhaps the little girl isn’t the messiah for mutants, but for all women everywhere.

Still, we’re a long way from setting things right. Not when we’re creating strong and independent women who can’t even walk! Sheesh, talk about taking a huge step in the wrong direction! Curse you, Gail Simone!

But men, keep up the faith. We still have Hank Pym who can still get his point across to Janet (a good old fashioned Sean Connery haymaker). Still, until women are once again put into the gloves and strung up with the pearls, our heroes will continue to walk, swing, or fly around like the castrated bulls that they are. Thank goodness some of them are smart enough to acquire sidekicks to rescue. Sure, they might not be as soft and gentle as the ladies, but hey, any port in a storm.

P.S. This writer would like to state that he has nothing at all against the fairer sex. In fact, many of his closest friends are women. Well, actually they’re men who would rather be women, but it’s the same principle.

Discuss

You may not believe me when I say that 100 Bullets argues against the fact that you can’t mix crime with epic. After all, epics are usually about honour and valour, the highest point in human existence. Epics are usually where men and gods meet and grand battles take place. Crime stories involve the seedy underbelly of society and the rejects that dwell in this blood-stained and dishonourable underworld. There is no way these two elements can co-exist.

In previous weeks I’ve looked at the epics Paradise Lost and The Odyssey, in relation to the comics we read today. I’d like to continue this idea in light of Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso’s 100 Bullets.

Like I stated earlier: “Crime epic” is an oxymoron. Azz and Risso counter it though. And here’s why:

In terms of the grand scale epic, some epics provide grounding for a believable origin. The Aeneid tells the story of how Rome was founded. 100 Bullets does this too, except replace “Rome” with “the United States of America”. In issue fifty, Victor Ray explains the founding of the Trust, the creation of the Minutemen and ties them into the mystery of Roanoke. The series loves to tamper with elements of history, and Victor Ray simplifies the idea that the United States is not founded on dissent from British rule, but by crime and dishonesty.

It’s a big pill to swallow, but Azz flips the idea of honour and valour in a country’s great foundations. He injects it with that seediness that we find in the dark back alley full of junkies and thugs.

In the spotlight is Agent Graves, handing some poor wretched soul a briefcase and offering them something like revenge. This is evident in many of the story arcs. The second story arc of the series features a down-and-out ex-convict given the opportunity to get revenge on a one of the members of the Trust. While Azzarello panders to the sob story of Lee Dolan, the whole idea of Graves handing him his briefcase is meant to put a scare into the Trust. It’s a move made by Graves on a game board. Agent Graves and Augustus Medici are rival kings battling for control of the empire, this game board. Medici, motivated by greed, wants it all for himself. Graves, motivated by the code the Minutemen follow, will stop at nothing to disallow Medici what he wants.

When you take the idea of war from thousands of years ago and compare it to war today, its core is the same but it has evolved. The Minutemen in 100 Bullets are just as deadly as the Myrmidons of Achilles, as are the weapons they wield. If you give a man a gun and one hundred bullets, he can take out one hundred men. The battles of 100 Bullets aren’t thousand-man grand battles, they involved only a few men, the deadliest of men, and they’re usually just as bloody as any other.

What I find interesting is that Azzarello bases the soldiers on old stereotypes, as killers, but he makes them criminals. In contemporary society, we view criminals as bad people, but in 100 Bullets they’re just typical soldiers. Nothing really separates Cole Burns from Achilles other than the fact that Burns has done time.

Is this series by Azzarello and Risso the answer to the contemporary epic? It is and here is why: There are no great epics in American literature. Sure there are epically grand tales, but none really do go on at great lengths to establish a founding myth for America as a great country. Coupled with the war for power between two great men, it isn’t hard to conceptualize. The series takes old epic ideas and adapts them to contemporary means, making it the epic of our time.

Discuss

By Eli Katz

Writer: Paul Dini
Artist: Dustin Nguyen

One of the most interesting aspects of Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight is the way in which the Joker’s origin is kept so ambiguous. Every time the Joker prepares to mutilate another victim, he gives a different explanation of how he received the smile-extending scars on his face. He blames various people, including a sadistic father. But by the end of the movie we’re not sure what the real story is and, maybe, just maybe, we’re meant to believe that he cut up his cheeks himself.

This ambiguity makes the character of the Joker all the more terrifying. A man who can jokingly lie about his disfigurement is a man who knows no limits — especially with himself.

I bring this up because of the way Paul Dini is handling Hush’s biography in the last two issues of Detective Comics. In what’s supposed to be a R.I.P. crossover, but so far has nothing to do with Grant Morrison’s incoherent epic, Dini has decided to give us the authoritative, fully fleshed-out life story of Hush. Thus, Detective Comics #846 and #847 are dominated by flash backs that show the tormented life of Bruce Wayne’s childhood friend, Thomas Eliot, who goes from brain surgeon to Batman’s bandaged-up nemesis.

We see that a young Thomas Eliot severed the brake lines of his parent’s car in a plot to kill them and inherent their fortune. We see also that Bruce Wayne’s father, a doctor himself, was able to save Eliot’s mother — much to the resentment of the sinister young boy. These basic facts are not really new to the Eliot character. Much of his story was revealed already in the first “Hush” arc by Jeph Loeb and Jim Lee, back in Batman #608 - #619. But Dini adds many new details to this villain’s background.

These details, unfortunately, are really just a bunch of pop-psychology explanations that make the Hush character seem more silly than menacing. For example, in a flashback scene in Detective Comics #847, young Eliot and young Bruce Wayne share a canoe ride at summer camp. As they float down a serene lake, the sun bathing them in golden light, Eliot begins to talk about his deceased father and convalescing mother. “Bruce,” he says, with a sullen expression, “remember when we’d play war and I’d be six moves ahead of you? I had to maneuver like that around dad sometimes, to keep from getting hurt. Mom saw it happening. She never stood up to dad, but she’d force me to read books about strategy and logic. Musashi, Aristotle, Caesar.”

Oh, I get it now — Hush is a brilliant psychopath and tactician, because his father was abusive and his mother made him read boring old books about military campaigns and martial arts. That makes so much sense, right?

For decades, comic books have relied on these kinds of explanations to develop superheroes and super-villains. And when comics were geared primarily for ten-year-old kids, these types of explanations worked. But as comic books have turned darker and grittier, and as comic-book movies have taken on serious adult themes, these pop-psychology explanations don’t cut it anymore. They’ve become worn-out conventions of a genre that’s progressing rapidly. The Hush origin that Dini is developing doesn’t make Hush scarier or more interesting; it just makes him more cartoonish.

There are no good explanations for evil. After all, if we could identify the cause of evil, we could also identify the cure. But as Hannah Arendt noted in her reflections on the Holocaust many decades ago, evil can be as banal as it can be genius. It can be committed by all types of people — not just lunatics — and often the most horrific misdeeds are committed by average guys who see their actions as normal.

Christopher Nolan seemed to keep these lessons in mind when he created his version of the Joker, providing a depiction of evil that has no clear origin and no sensible meaning. Dini, obviously, missed these lessons because he’s given us a depiction of evil that’s overloaded with unconvincing back-story. That’s too bad because, if handled properly, Hush could be so much more than a cheesy, visual rip off of the Unknown Soldier.

As for the art, Dustin Nguyen’s style is appropriately cartoonish for this story. He’s a capable illustrator, producing clear and easy-to-follow page layouts. But his style would probably be better suited for a lighter, more fun-loving character than the Batman. If he were given the right material — something like Ultimate Spider-Man — Nguyen could really shine as an artist. But with this kind of ludicrous, overly dramatic storyline, his pencils only seem to magnify the problems of the plot.

Overall, Detective Comics #847 is no worse than many superhero comics on the market right now. So maybe it’s unfair to pick on this issue when it’s hardly the only offender. Still, you gotta ask yourself: why spend money on this kind of bland story, when you can just watch the much superior Dark Knight in theaters again and again? Yeah, I thought so — there’s no good explanation.
STORY: 5/10
ART: 7/10

Story: ED Brubaker
Art: Sean Phillips

The best crime stories are completely unrealistic and yet completely believable. There’s no conceivable way that anyone could be smart enough, fast enough, and brave enough to solve all the cases that Lew Archer or Philip Marlowe have survived. But great crime writers come up with ways that encourage readers to ignore the improbability of the plot and concentrate instead on the thrills. Marlowe’s wise cracks and snappy lines are so much fun to read, it doesn’t matter that the mysteries he solves don’t make any sense.

Ed Brubaker is a great crime writer and, like all great crime writers, he makes us believe in impossible plots. Consider the setup of Criminal #4, the latest issue in this gritty, blood-soaked series: Jacob, a one-time counterfeiter, becomes a newspaper cartoonist after the police mistake his wife’s accidental death for murder. The cartooning leads to a dark and lonely life and, when Jacob isn’t cloistered in his shabby little studio, he’s sipping coffee at a deserted late-night diner. On one of those late nights, he meets a whiskey-soaked femme fatale who quickly exploits poor Jacob and his criminal past. Of course, all hell breaks loose.

Now, if I were to read this plot synopsis on the back of a DVD, I’m pretty darn sure I wouldn’t spend five bucks to rent it.

But, like I said before, Bru is a great crime writer and he makes Jacob’s unlikely story seem tragically believable. He accomplishes this largely by giving Jacob a compelling narrative voice. As Jacob recounts his life story, he quickly goes from being a lonely loser to being a loveable loser. There’s something about this guy — his fears, his vulnerability, his vivid imagination that borders on schizophrenic hallucination — that makes him both sympathetic and interesting. In just a few pages, Bru introduces us to this new protagonist and makes us root for him as we see chaos overtake his life.

Obviously, this kind of powerful characterization relies on solid illustrations and strong layouts. And Sean Phillips does a superb job on art duties. His illustrations are at once realistic and darkly stylized, as if they were black-and-white photographs hand painted and intentionally distorted. Just as nobody other than Bru could ever write Criminal, nobody other than Phillips could ever draw this book, either. It’s a perfect team-up.

Criminal #4 is another excellent issue in a series that’s been nothing but flawless. If, for some crazy reason, you haven’t been picking up this book, start now. This latest issue is a great jumping on point, introducing a new storyline with completely new characters. Really, check it out. You’ll be thanking me for years, I promise.

Story: 9/10
Art: 9/10

Appetizer:
Nightwing 147 — I really am running out of ways to describe how much joy this book is bringing me right now; Kramer’s art is superb (I may even like it better than Rags’), and Tomasi is writing easily the best Dick Grayson these eyes have seen in many, many years (with the exception of Waid’s one-issue masterpiece in last week’s B&B). In this issue we begin Dick’s R.I.P. tie-in arc, entitled “The Great Leap” (which, if Rich Johnston’s rumor mill is on-target, could be referring to a LOT more than just Dick’s new sky-diving habit), we get a peek at the Wing-signal as envisioned by Harvey Dent; a great confrontation between the two that informs the reader of Dick’s special history with Harv without using a single word of needless exposition; a mission for Dick to save an old “friend” of Harvey’s; a couple of quick-hitting but well-crafted action scenes; a (fairly obvious) mystery assassin at play; and a fine cliffhanger ending which should set us up for some more nice action through the next couple issues; art, pacing, dialogue, characterization…all just perfect; loved it

Entree:
Final Crisis 3 — hrm. I wish I could say I enjoyed this even half as much…but I can’t. I just can’t. Grant’s got so many balls in the air here that I just can’t make myself care about most of it. We see brief scenes of Shilo and Sonny Sumo and the Super Young team (that for the life of me I can’t figure out why what happened happened…); Frankenstein working for SHADE investigating a murder scene and crossing paths with the Question (who gets recruited by Checkmate via SHADE, sorta…); Hal getting carted off by the Alpha Lanterns; Supes sitting at Lois’s bedside keeping her alive with his heat vision (explain that one to me, G-Moz…) and getting recruited to go hang out in Superman Beyond; Alan Scott drafting all the Earth’s heroes into what is essentially a new All-Star Squadron; Libra infecting Human Flame with the Anti-Life Equation and telling Luthor his days are numbered; Jay telling Iris that Barry’s alive; Wonder Woman getting her ass kicked by Mary Marvel, and swearing she’s not a murderer even though she just ripped an Atomic Knight in half; Mokkari of Apokolips infecting the whole world with the ALE via internet spam; and Wally and Barry running two weeks into the future and into the new Female Furies: Wonder Woman, Giganta, Catwoman, and somebody I can’t recognize due to generic new badass Apokoliptian dress, who say “Superhumans. KILL.”

All of this stuff is cool in theory. It sounds cool. Some of it even brings that to the page. But it’s so character-light and terse that for the life of me I feel more like I’m reading the Cliff Notes or illustrated spoilers to a story than I am actually reading a story. The dialogue is GODAWFUL through most of it; stuff just happens without being explained why or sometimes even what it is; Jones’s art (IMO anyway) is already showing serious decline from issue 1); and it’s just too goddamn much. Didn’t like it.

Dessert:
Amazing Spider-Man Family 1 — There were 5 stories in here, but I only had time to scarf down 2 of ‘em; the first was “48 Hours”, a return of my favorite comics writer ever, J.M. DeMatteis, to Spidey, and he didn’t disappoint at all. The tale of Spidey’s first 48 hours post-Burglar was touching, funny, sad, and gave a nice little overview of just who Peter and Aunt May are, and always were, at their cores. The art was nice as well, showing seams in Sidey’s eyepieces (and other little touches) to give a nice rendering f just what a sewn-by-a-16-year-old-science-geek’s costume might look like; loved it

The second tale I read was “Mr. & Mrs. Spider-Man” by DeFalco, Frenz, & Buscema. I wasn’t quite as wild about this one, although I love the creative team and the setting (Pete & MJ still married, baby May alive and well and a future Spider-Girl). Just a pretty generic Spidey-Lizard tale, with the best parts going to MJ. Pretty imple and straightforward, and fun for Spider-Girl fans (like me) but nothing special; liked it

Hi, and welcome to the College Perspective, your invitation to the learned community.  Normally when a school atmosphere is evoked, one’s thoughts might rest upon a tradition of learning, enriching oneself through education. However, others may think of wide-eyed idealism, hypocrisy, and the naivety that comes with early life.  It’s on these lesser characteristics that this column will predicate.  Let’s be honest, thoughtful and wizened talk on any matter, let alone comics, tends to be on the dry side (boring).  You know, like most of the DC Universe.   Being somewhat new to this world, there’s not much love lost between myself and some classic books and even companies.

Oddly enough, Jim Lee’s WildC.A.T.S. started out as a blatant rip-off of Marvel Comics’ X-Men with interplanetary war between two alien races as its backdrop.  This Covert Action Team, as it was described, consisted of mostly crossbreeds of humans and Kherans, one of the two alien races featured in the book.  It only makes sense as one of Lee’s most popular runs of all time was on the X-Men in the early 90s.  The Jim Lee creations consisted of characters such as Warblade,  whose fingers and hands shift in to long metallic talons (Wolverine),  the quiet and reserved team leader known as Spartan (Cyclops), and the enigmatic gimp of a team leader Jacob Marlowe (Professor X).  These mutant-esque heroes even battled a couple of alien super villains, complete with tawdry costumes and aspirations of conquering Earth.  It seems silly to love a clearly inferior product, but you can’t very well measure up the tastes of a child to that of a man.

Here’s the thing:  even though the ‘cats are clearly a riff of a classic, I enjoy their stories more than I enjoy those of the X-Men. Even though I regularly read X-books, there is something about growing up with a book, no matter how juvenile, that has an appeal unmatched by a book with well established and tread upon story lines and characters.  Also, the WildC.A.T.S. have tended to stay away from the trap of constantly killing and resurrecting characters for the most part. The increased realism enhances the story, even in a fantasy setting.

I’ve been reading Alan Moore’s Complete WildC.A.T.S. over the last few weeks.  Moore was one of the writers that helped transform the team from the X-Men’s racial allegory to more… as well as more of the same.  During his run, Moore explores some interesting concepts such as human-cyborg relationships as well as speciesism in place of racism.  In an interesting twist to the Kherubim / Daemonite war, it is revealed that the war has been over for hundreds of years and that Khera is at peace, being the winners of the war.  Initially, Jacob Marlowe’s group is treated as war heroes, but the team is pared off and the reader find that there is an extensive caste system on the planet Khera where other species are treated as subhuman. While the X-Men have dealt with various ‘ism’ allegories for decades, this was a relatively new concept to the Wildstorm Universe.  So the story arc is both new and old.

The WildC.AT.S.were just as immature as I when the first issue came out and we’ve matured alongside each other. When the team collectively felt the disappointment in the elders of the planet Khera, I too am reminded of my own disappointment and disgust with the older generation, especially as it pertains to racism and classism.  With that same naiveté that comes with youth, comes the chance to do something different. When a book is referred to as “classic” it does not necessarily mean “better”.  Wildcats (as they are now called) books will most likely never sell as well as Marvel’s monumental mutant books.  However, as long as I get my fix of the Wildcats at least a few times a year, I’ll be a happy man.

Discuss

(Massive spoilers for those who haven’t read the entire Y: the Last Man series…)

There was a period of time between when I finished volume 9 and started volume ten of Y: the Last Man that I like to call a “the quiet before storm.” It’s not so much quiet but anticipation followed by intense emotion that came with reading the last piece of a series that I loved so much. I found myself feeling very connected to Yorick, being an English major, a romantic and a bit of an idiot. While that may be why I enjoyed the series, I found after finishing, there was more that pulled me in.

There’s a way that Brian K. Vaughn crafts the series similarly to the great epic the Odyssey that really strikes a chord when finishing the series. It’s a lot easier to see when you read the series from start to finish, and there isn’t much quite like it out there in terms of graphic storytelling. It’s quite simple to describe: Man finds himself escaping from the clutches of slavery and journeying to his “home”, the place where the love of his life is.

Just a bit of an honest side-note: I’ve never actually read Homer’s epic or any direct translations, just prose interpretations and I’ve also seen the episode of Wishbone that re-enacts the Odyssey.

It’s all there and it’s not hard to understand. While Yorick doesn’t necessarily escape from “slavery”, he leaves behind any kind of duty he might have as the last “man of the world” to find his lover Beth. Granted, Vaughn throws in not one, but many monkey wrenches like the women Yorick meets and falls in love with (the biggest one being Agent 355), but the most interesting aspect of the journey itself is the way it’s presented.

Maybe it was all a marketing move, but being someone who read the entire series in paperback format, I found waiting for trades very long and sometimes frustrating. It was pretty beneficial though, because even if the series is read in single format, there is still an issue of pacing and release that helped build the anticipation, the “quiet” if you will. The last issue is probably the most emotional because you know deep down it has to end, and you don’t want it to end, but it’ll end anyway and all you can do is accept it.

The last issue is fabulous, and I wouldn’t have expected less from Vaughn because I know he’s a really smart guy. As I read it, after being all gut-wrenched and emotional, I started to think about it. It kind of clued in later…

There’s a poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson titled Ulysses  (which is Latin for “Odysseus”), which is spoken by Odysseus after he’s returned from his Odyssey and is back in Ithaca. The poem basically goes over his desire to get out and have another adventure, and how he can leave his kingdom to his son.

I found the exact same thing happening with the last issue of Y: the Last Man. I can’t say Vaughn based that issue on this poem, but it’s pretty darn close and I really enjoyed that. When the original Yorick, old and crotchety, leaves his confinement in Paris, while his daughter Beth does…whatever it is she does…Yorick is much happier to escape and wander around the world. It concludes with Yorick’s straightjacket flying away in the wind, much like the sails of Odysseus’ ship as he sets sail away from Ithaca and to his new adventure.

I found this little bit heartwarming, and the perfect end to a series I was very attached to. The character structures, the wonderful pacing and the long adventure separates Y: the Last Man from the superhero serials we all love, and really makes it the one of the greatest epics of graphic storytelling.

Discuss

By Jesse Chin

Unfortunately, due to work constraints, your normal NL Week in Review writer, Robert Emrich, was unable to complete this edition of the column. The powers that be, desperate to find a fill-in, settled on the second-rate scribe that you’re currently reading. Blame them for any vaginal discomfort you might experience due to the horrid opinions that you undoubtedly have.

So the trading deadline has come and gone and we’ve already seen some huge strides being taken by the usual suspects as well as some unlikely trading partners. CC Sabathia, Joe Blanton and Rich Harden were dealt early on but there were still plenty of big names to be bandied about around July 31. Not only did the perennial Manny Ramirez trade talks finally lead to an actual move, but we also saw other future Hall of Famers filling out their “Change of Address” forms in Ken Griffey Jr., Ivan Rodriguez and Kyle Farns…Almost had a little of that vag discomfort we were talking about earlier, huh?

So let’s start with the team that seems to be the biggest mover and shaker in the NL, the Pittsburgh Pirates. Not only did they trade Xavier Nady and Damaso Marte (to the Yankees earlier in the week for a package revolving around OF prospect Jose Tabata), but they also shipped out Jason Bay in the aforementioned Manny Ramirez deal. This was a huge three-way trade between the Red Sox, Pirates and Dodgers that brought the Pirates four more prospects to add to their cache of young talent. The specifics of the deal were:

Boston gets: OF Jason Bay (from PIT)

LA gets: OF Manny Ramirez and cash (from BOS)

Pittsburgh gets: 3B Andy LaRoche (from LA), P Bryan Morris (from LA), OF Brandon Moss (from BOS) and P Craig Hansen (from BOS)

It’s quite evident that Pirates GM Neal Huntington is opting to get rid of their aging talent and revitalize their rebuilding process now. With young major league talent in C Ryan Doumit, OF Nate McLouth, SP Ian Snell, SP Tom Gorzellany and CL Matt Capps, the team has a nice little core to build around and a very solid minor league system to pull from. I am impressed in the courage for Huntington to sacrifice the present to improve their team’s future. You also have to think that he has hopes that the LaRoche brothers will be able to lean on each other and turn their once-bright careers around. They also look to have the money to spend on one marquee free agent if they would be willing to come to Pittsburgh. I also wouldn’t be surprised to see them move contracts like Freddy Sanchez and Jack Wilson this offseason.

The other NL team in the trade, the Dodgers, received the power threat that they’ve been searching for ever since Jeff Kent hit the wall of being older than dirt. Ramirez provides LA with a legitimate clean-up hitter while also allowing them to drop an unproductive Kent down in the order. Prior to this move, they also acquired Casey Blake to man 3B which makes their line-up a little more balanced top to bottom. Blake also provides the benefit of a strong batting average with runners in scoring position, batting .393 in those scenarios. However, the team does seem to be very righty-heavy with Matt Kemp, Andruw Jones, Russell Martin, Blake, Kent and Manny looking to get regular playing time.

vThe real winners of the trade were the Boston Red Sox though. Effectively, the trade was half a season of Manny Ramirez (plus his whole contract), Craig Hansen and Brandon Moss for one and a half seasons of Jason Bay. I’d make that move in a heartbeat every time. The money doesn’t matter to the Sox as they’re a major-market team making a bundle in merchandising, ticket sales, etc. so that’s a moot point. Bay is a player in his prime, signed at an affordable rate for 2009, and is a player that is sure to give more of himself to the team than Manny. And if they can sign him to an extension, they have their OF for the next few years set with Bay, Jacoby Ellsbury and JD Drew.

Another huge trade was the Atlanta Braves moving 1B Mark Teixeira to the LA Angels for 1B Casey Kotchman and prospect P Stephen Marek which was possibly the steal of the year. Any question marks about the Angels disappointing offense disappeared as the power-hitting first baseman returns to the familiar AL West. With that pitching staff and the bats of OF Vladimir Guerrero and Teixeira, they can contend with any team in a slugging match.

The real story here presumably is Frank Wren trying to see if he can get fired from Atlanta in less time than it took for him to get fired from Baltimore. Casey Kotchman? A player with limited power on a team that is pretty much devoid of it? They have four regulars with slugging percentages under .400 (SS Yunel Escobar, OF Jeff Francouer, OF Gregor Blanco and OF Mark Kotsay) and with 3B Chipper Jones looking more and more like his age, they really should have brought back someone to provide some protection for C Brian McCann. Stephen Marek? Doesn’t impress me at all…He’s in his fourth year of minor league ball and this is the first season he’s made it to AA. At 24 (turning 25 this September), he’s probably not going to amount to anything.

Perhaps the most head-scratching trade was that of OF Ken Griffey Jr. to the Chicago White Sox for 2B Danny Richar and P Nick Masset. The Reds moving him was a no-brainer as they had vocally stated that his 2009 option wasn’t going to be picked up, but the White Sox being the team to pick him up? Sur…pri…sing…

Just where do they plan on playing the oft-injured CF-cum-RF? With the corners occupied by freshman phenom OF Carlos Quentin and veteran OF Jermaine Dye, would the White Sox seriously consider playing the aging Junior in CF? OF Nick Swisher CAN move over to 1B and displace Paul Konerko to the bench, but SHOULD he? That is the question. The most logical assumption would be having Griffey DH and moving Jim Thome back to 1B, a position where he’s only played four games at since his trade from Philadelphia. However, in Griffey’s first game with the team, the team played him in center defying all logic.

Probably the most unlikely of buyers were the sad-sack Houston Astros. With a myriad of problems and the strength of the teams ahead of them in the NL Central, one would think that the struggling Stros would toss in the towel and start moving their excess. With an already weak farm system, they further depleted it by moving prospects in order to acquire P Randy Wolf (from the Padres) and Latroy Hawkins (from the Yankees). The point of these moves…I have no idea. Why they’d want to try to get a better draft pick is beyond me.

Another strange aspect of this year’s trade deadline was the inactivity of some teams, namely the New York Mets and Tampa Bay (Not the Devil) Rays. Both teams were named in a lot of rumors, but ultimately both came up empty. There are still trades to be made in August for players that clear waivers, but one must assume that the quality dramatically drops as most of the decent names would get claimed or pulled back. Only time will tell if their idleness will come back to haunt them.

So that’s the column. Hope you enjoyed it and if not, feel free to send me PM’s with any suggestions or helpful tidbits that you think I might be able to use. Also if there are any questions or topics that you want me to touch upon for the next edition, send me those as well.

-Jesse Chin

Trade Deadline Special

I’m going to take a break from the usual weekly update and focus on something a little different this week. The Major League trade deadline was Thursday afternoon, and over the previous week, there have been some major moves. A number of contenders improved their team through trades. I thought this would be a great opportunity to take a look at some of these trades and what their potential impact could be.

New York Yankees:

Brian Cashman’s been busy this week. Over the weekend, Cashman worked out a deal with the Pittsburgh Pirates for Xavier Nady and Damasao Marte. The Yanks sent a package of prospects including Jose Tabata and Daniel McCutchen. This trade should bolster the Yankees outfield and provide a potent right handed bat to the lineup. Marte should fit nicely in the Yankees bullpen, finally giving them the quality left handed reliever they’ve sought for years.

The Yankees also pulled off a stunner of a trade by sending reliever Kyle Farnsworth to the Detroit Tigers for catcher Ivan Rodriguez. This is another big improvement for the Yankees, adding yet another quality right handed bat to the lineup while also providing strong defensive skills behind the plate. This should minimize some of the pain the Yankees were feeling with Jorge Posada being out, opting to have surgery on his shoulder and effectively ending his season. This was a great move by the Yankees, trading Farnsworth at his peek value to acquire a badly needed veteran catcher.

The Boston Red Sox:

Manny Ramirez was sent to the Los Angeles Dodgers in a three-way trade with the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Red Sox will be getting Jason Bay from the Pirates and will be sending Chris Hansen and top outfield prospect, Brandon Moss to the Pirates. In terms of production, Manny for Bay is a wash. But the Red Sox did have to part with one of their better prospects and still have to pick up the tab for Manny’s contract. It’s a move that makes sense for the Red Sox in 2009, but did little to improve the team in 2008 other than perhaps improve improving chemistry in the clubhouse.

Chicago White Sox

The White Sox received future Hall of Famer Ken Griffey Jr. from the Cincinnati Reds in return for right-handed pitcher Nick Masset and Minor League second baseman Danny Richar. This move will undoubtedly improve the White Sox and should help them put some distance between them and the second place Minnesota Twins. It’s unclear if Griffey will be in the outfield or in the DH slot, but either way, his presence will help this team.

Detroit Tigers

Kyle Farnsworth. WTF were they thinking? I think there’s a gas leak in the GM’s office. That’s the only explanation for the Farnsworth/Rodriguez trade and the contract they gave to Dontrelle Willis before the season.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

The Angels won the Mark Tiexiera sweepstakes by sending Casey Kotchman and a minor league pitcher to the Braves. The Angels were already considered by many to be the best all-around team in baseball. Adding Tex makes the team that much more deadly. This will improve defense in the infield and add some pop to the lineup. A brilliant move.

Writer: Greg Pak
Artist: Ron Garney

I’m dropping this book. After just two issues, I’m dropping it for good, and I’m never reading another Skaar-related story again.

Why? Because Skaar, the son of Hulk, is an incredibly retarded version of Conan — and when I say retarded, I mean drool-hanging-from-the-lower-lip retarded. He’s too stupid, too savage, and too boring to be the title character of a comic book. He isn’t likable. He isn’t tragic. He isn’t surrounded by interesting characters. He doesn’t have a secret identity. He doesn’t really have any motivations. His only emotion is anger. He never really says anything except a few burps and grunts. Basically, he’s like the liquid-metal version of the Terminator: an unstoppable, rapidly-healing killing force that just keeps going no matter how many times he’s stabbed, torched, or dropped from the sky.

The story, so far, has a bunch of goonish Axemen hunting down the son of Hulk because, well, he’s destined to kick ass, and these Axemen figure their best shot at killin’ him is when he’s still young and weak. Wrong. Skaar is badass from conception, and he rips apart fire-breathing dragons as if they were a basket of Buffalo wings. Hence, we’ve had two issues of bodies hacked apart, in all sorts of disgusting ways, by characters we don’t know and don’t care about. This is mindless action, par excellence.

Sure, Ron Garney’s art is as stunning as ever, and maybe the book is worth three bucks just to see Garney — who, in my opinion, is this generation’s John Buscema — depict gorgeous battle scenes. But the story is so lacking at this point, it’s hard to get excited about 22 pages of beautifully drawn dragons. I’m stunned that Greg Pak is writing — I’d like to say a crappy story, but there isn’t enough story here to call it “crappy.” Seriously, it’s mind boggling that, after his thoughtful and wonderfully tragic Planet Hulk, Pak follows up with what is turning out to be the stupidest book Marvel is currently publishing.

That’s harsh, I know. But I’m only being harsh because I’m so terribly disappointed. I had hoped that Skaar, in the hands of Pak and Garney, would lead to the creation of one of Marvel’s most intriguing heroes. But instead, Pak has produced a character who makes D-list super villains seem interesting.

Skaar sucks. And if I were stupid enough to keep buying this book, I’d be cheering for the Axemen to cut the bastard into little pieces.
STORY: 1/10
ART: 8.5/10

Writer: Mark Millar
Artist: Steve McNiven

Last month, with Wolverine #66, Mark Millar and Steve McNiven produced the closest thing I’ve read to a perfect comic book. Their first issue of “Old Man Logan” gave us a post-apocalyptic world where we see Wolverine as a pig farmer, the Hulk family as hillbillies, and the U.S. map as a super-villain paradise. Talk about a mad, mad, mad, mad world. My only concern, after reading this issue, was that it would be damn near impossible for Millar to maintain this outrageous momentum for all eight chapters.

Well, if Wolverine #67 is any indication, I’ve got nothing to worry about. This latest issue of “Old Man Logan” is as fun and imaginative as the first.

Part 2 continues where Part 1 left off. Desperate for cash, Wolverine and Hawkeye haul a package of contraband — probably drugs — across America in a beat-up, old Spidey-mobile. Before they can exit Hulkland and enter the Kingpin’s domain, they must first battle a gang of Ghost Riders that makes the Hell’s Angels look like girl scouts. The action is spectacular, the violence is appropriately graphic, and it’s just awesome to see a blind Hawkeye work his bow.

After a narrow escape and a long, sweltering drive, Hawkeye and Logan find themselves in what was once Las Vegas — now a town of desperate residents who worship Thor’s hammer and pray for the return of the superheroes. McNiven’s illustrations are strongest and most detailed in this part of the book. In just a few small panels, he makes the Vegas Strip look like a Mogadishu flea market. His heavy use of crosshatching makes everything look particularly ragged and broken down.

It’s also at this point in the book that Millar gives us some, but not all, the details of how the bad guys took control of America. We learn that “Thor and Cap and Tony Stark — they all got targeted and taken down inside the first few hours.” We also learn that the bad guys didn’t bother with Hawkeye because, as he admits, “They thought I was some kinda joke.”

Wolverine’s story is much more disturbing. It’s suggested that he was tortured to the point of total mental collapse, and now lacks the will to fight. Obviously the question is: Will he get his balls back? Will he stand up finally against the forces of evil?

Without spoiling too much of the plot, Millar seems to be giving us yet another version of that overused Hollywood story — the old tough guy who just wants to be left alone, but is forced out of retirement for one last fight. Both Charles Bronson and Clint Eastwood enjoyed solid careers doing this story over and over again. Just think of the many Death Wish sequels, The Evil That Men Do, The Eiger Sanction, Firefox, and Unforgiven, to name a few.

Yet, as familiar as this storyline is, Millar and McNiven add so many new twists to their version that they transcend the conventions. “Old Man Logan” isn’t just another old-tough-guy story, just as it isn’t simply another iteration of Mad Max or Road Warrior. It’s a madcap combination of all these elements — plus a good dose of Saturday morning cartoon fun.

In lesser hands, “Old Man Logan” would be a terrible mess, overburdened by too many cool but unconnected ideas. Somehow, though, Millar and McNiven manage to blend all these elements together in a way that works. They honor all the clichés, but they innovate them too, and in the end they produce a futuristic world that’s so much more interesting than the regular Marvel Universe.

So far, “Old Man Logan” is easily the best arc I’ve read all year — especially with McNiven’s crisp art bringing the story to life. But more than that, “Old Man Logan” is a testament to what superhero comics can be: rule-smashing, genre-bending joy rides that take us into unknown territory.

I can’t wait for Part 3.

Story: 9.5/10
Art: 9.5/10
 

Everyone here knows my all consuming love for Cyberpunk 2020, so it should come as no surprise to anyone that I keep up with current events, what little there are, of this nigh abandoned game. Abandoned may not be the proper phrase. What R. Talsorian did (the publishers of Cyberpunk 2020 and many other fine games) was release a 3rd edition that switched the game rules to Fuzion and pretty much destroyed the setting so that it no longer even remotely resembles the Cyberpunk that its fan base built the company on.

But there have been slight glimmers of hope for us old dogs who loved 2020. Precis Intermedia released 2020 based paper miniatures that are pretty cool, and Mike Pondsmith (high muckety muck of R.Talsorian) has released brief snippets about the possibility of re-releasing 2020 and and the long awaited Firestorm: Aftershocks. And the composer of the Night City Trax: the official Cyberpunk 2020 soundtrack has been in contact with me recently to let me know that Mike contacted him again for a follow up. But these snippets are few and far between, and all to often just seem like they never go anywhere.

But alas there is a gleaming beacon on the horizon, the only downside is that it’s in German. Games-In, who hold the Dutch rights to publish Cyberpunk 2020, just released their latest printing. On a Cyberpunk dedicated forum I visit they held a contest offering a free copy. Naturally, I won. To do so I had to decipher 7 clues, all in German, then decipher the final clue from the answers to the original. It wasn’t easy, but I did it, and was the only non-Germanic speaker to do so.

Yesterday I received the book, and it is quite simply breathtaking. It’s hard bound, full of new full color art and graphics, and features a new layout that is simply amazing.

In addition to the new art, it also features all the art from both previous editions. It also features all the guns, gadgets, vehicles, cyber, and other doodads from all the source books, similar to the legendary net resource The Cyberpunk 2020 Reference Guide.

Now, I don’t read German at all, but that didn’t matter much to me since all this information I had long ago memorized. But it is unfortunate that the Germans get this new edition, and we get stuck with Cyberpunk V3, which not only changed the setting so drastically that it feels more like Flycly than Cyberpunk, but used photos of custom barbie dolls (not kidding) for artwork.

What would really be nice is a mass movement to put pressure on R.Talsorian to translate and release this German edition here in America. One can dream…

If you do speak German and game, I highly recommend this book. It is a bit pricey but well worth it just for the sheer beauty of it. The new map of Night City alone is enough to take your breath away.

On the Interlock Unlimited front:
Just letting people know that the core rules for Interlock Unlimited are finished, with an expansion for Magic/Psionics/Superpowers coming soon.

The yahoo group that originally served as a playtest platform is now open to the public, and from here out will serve as a discussion forum and collaboration hub for further expansion projects”

You can join, and download the Core Rules in the file section, by heading over to:
http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/Interlock_Unlimited/

Interlock is R. Talsorians core rules system for Cyberpunk, Cyberpunk 2020, Teenagers From Outer Space, Mekton 2 and Mekton Zeta, and Castle Falkenstein. Interlock Unlimited not only fixes all the problems with the Interlock Rules, but is expanded to be a true universal system capable of covering every genre and setting. Interlock Unlimited does what Fuzion attempted.

Fuzion is R.Tals new core system, and is used for a wide variety of games, including Cyberpunk V3, Bubblegum Crisis, Dragonball, Lightspeed, Victoriana, Champions New Millenium, and many others. Being 90 percent Interlock (and 10 percent Hero), Fuzion based games are easily compatible with Interlock Unlimited with minimum conversion required.

Take a look if you will, Interlock Unlimited is an intuitive system that is the perfect blend of realism and fun. It falls squarely in the middle between Gurps ultra-rules-heavy realism and Savage worlds rules minimum good times.

Currently the rules are easily downloadable from the “files” section of the yahoo. Just select the file marked Datafortress 2020 - Interlock Unlimited - Core Rules.

As soon as I can find the time to update Datafortress, those rules and any completed expansions will be hosted there as well.

Hope you guys enjoy it.

Discuss

This week, since I’m so late with these, a full six-course meal for your review/spoiler enjoyment!

Appetizer:
Reign in Hell 1 — by all rights, this should’ve wowed me; a writer I like, a penciller I love, and characters I REALLY love…but blah; I know this is heresy, but I’ve NEVER been a Sienkiewicz fan, especally as an inker over mismatched, more cartoony pencillers like Derenick…the look of this book turned me off, and Giffen’s script didn’t help; it was reminiscent the 4 Horsemen mini…a good simple plot fouled up by too much meaningless exposition; coolest bits were the last page of the primary story (where certain hellish creatures, inclusing the Creeper, Demon, etc. are “rectuited) and the back-up featuring Dr. Occult and the Dibnys; and if that was the Yellow Peri on the last page (and I think it was), then whoo-hoo! A Chappy’s obscure fave!; on the whole though, unsatisfying

Salad:
Catwoman 81 — another fun if “light” issue of IMO one of DC’s most consistent and underrated books; Selina robs a painting of herself and a cop car just for kicks, takes a job from Calculator to steal (unbeknownst to her) a Hitler original painting and runs afoul of Ubermensch (from Kelly’s JLA run), beats him, “beats Calculator, and is confronted by an unhapppy Bat; fun plot and dialogue, and gorgeous art as usual; crisp

Soup:
Green Lantern 33 — now THIS is more like it; some quick action in the beginning against Hector hammond, some nice character work with Hal & Sinestro in the middle, and finally a confrontation with Atrocitus at the end, and the usual gorgeous art from Reis (the 2-page spread of the manhunters is most impressive); rich & hearty

Sorbet:
Trinity 9 — one of the better efforts in a book I was already loving; WW and Bats get a bit more of the focus, we meet a new villain named Swashbuckler (who I like at first blush, but am deathly afraid will be annoyingly cheesy in larger doses), Nightwing gets punk’d (but not entirely punked, so I can live with it), some good action, some good supporting characterization, and a bit more mystery; refreshing

Entree:
JSA Annual 1 — fantastic; we see PG make a big splash and receive a hero’s welcome, yet just when we think she’s gone baack home, we meet another PG who shows us our Kara may not be from the Earth-2 universe after all; we also get a great Huntress tale (it’s almost Helena Wayne’s story more than Kara’s), typical fun Johns writing, and Jerry Ordway proving why you never hear the terms “young masters”…the art throughout is just fantastic; exquisite

Dessert:
Teen Titans 61 — i feared cheesiness, but McKeever proved that the Blue & Red is absolutely a fitting successor to the Blue & Gold; Beetle and Kid Devil (who also gets a name and costume change) tackle Shockwave on their own, cut each other mercilessly, and form a time-honored comic book trope: the adversarial best-friendship (see Blue & Gold, Torch & Thing, etc etc); good fill-in art by Rodriguez, and cover-to-cover fun from McKeever; a perfect meal’s end

Discuss

It’s Wednesday and your money is begging to be spent.  Comic Book Day is here!  Your excitement bubbles because your favorite title is beginning a new event that claims that “Nothing will ever be the same again”.  Never mind if it’s an utter lie…you’re psyched.  Your heart is racing and your adrenaline pumping.  You arrive at your comic shop, get your books, and enjoy a day of reading at home, at work, on the bus, or on the toilet.  Once it’s over, you sit back and contemplate the experience.  It’ll be seven whole days before you can do it again and you hope your good feelings will tide you over the next six days.

That’s pretty much the typical comic fan experience, right?  No.  The fanboy experience is no longer a one-day affair; it’s a 24 hour, 7 day extravaganza of debate, speculation, regret, and tears.  It’s creator interaction without the letter pages, previews without mystery or ambiguity, interviews without Wizard’s monkey jokes.  It’s where comic movies are no longer stuck in developmental hell and where superheroes are analyzed in major universities, where video game characters have webcomics and where 27 years of Cerebus can be stored onto a device the size of your thumb.  

It’s a slam-bam-thank-you-ma’am, pink-elephant inducing, never-ending stream of fucking awesomeness wired directly into your brain.  And for that, we can thank one thing more than any other:  the internet.  Suddenly there existed an all-encompassing ether where shame for the craft magically disappeared.  The internet leveled the playing field, giving us a way to fight back against cultural ghettoization and popular stereotypes. Once helpless to the whims of literary elitism, comic fans now had a mechanism through which to pimp the merits of Maus and Watchmen.  When movies like Ghost World and Road to Perdition are revealed to be comic-inspired, it’s no big surprise.  Suddenly every day is a day to celebrate the world of comicdom.

But what about Wednesday?   What about that special day that started it all?  Has it become less important?  Does it hold less sway?  No.  If anything, the actual comics—the alpha and omega of this New World Order—hold even greater significance.  Although Wednesday no longer rules the roost, the fanboy life-cycle revolves around it.

But Wednesdays no longer exists in a vacuum because fans no longer choose the option of six-day contemplation.  Who can afford to?  Comics are an expensive hobby that can easily have little payoff.  We exist in the ultimate fraternity, always warning our brothers of the easy lay or the gold-digger tease.  Torrents give us the power to freely browse new comics from the comfort of home.  Since the space between editors, creators, and fans is so small, we know we can make a difference for good or bad.  Alliances form.  Rumors are spread.  Opinions are formed months before they need to be.    The fanboy experience changes us and we try to change it in response.

When Wednesday finally comes around, our expectations are a hell of a lot different than they would’ve been otherwise.   Whether we want to admit it or not, comics are rarely judged on only what’s on the page.  The bells and whistles of Thursday through Tuesday mean a lot.   Those six days of madness create a day of mayhem only the true comic fan can now understand.

Welcome to the jungle.

Discuss

I finally got the last two issues of Local in the mail. I’d almost given up on and forgotten about the series until about a month ago when my friend Nate told me the last issue came out.

So yeah, I decided to drag the other ten issues out of my long-box and read the entire thing from start to finish. There are a lot of really great things about this series, like Ryan Kelly’s art. Some of the issues are well-written, some are pretty badly written. The thing I liked about each single issue was the little essay that Wood and Kelly would each write for the back-matter. A few things about these essays started to bother me as I read.

From Wood’s essay in issue one: “Poor Megan McKeenan. Look for her to pop up in every issue of LOCAL, sometimes as the lead, sometimes as just a background character.”

From Wood’s essay in issue eleven: “…it underscores how important Megan became to me as time went on, that she changed as time went on, that she changed from a nameless tourguide to, basically, the outright star of this series.”

I believe here, Wood has committed a bit of a sin in terms of writing: he got too attached to his character. Maybe he did sin, maybe he didn’t, but his attachment made the plot deviate a lot.

Maybe I too became attached to Megan McKeenan, enough to buy all twelve issues of Local, but I think I became attached to the idea initially, and the complete-ist in me wouldn’t let series die. There are some truly bad issues like issue seven about that irritating kid or issue four about those two bickering brothers. There are some issues where Wood nailed the idea of Local on the head, like issues two and three (and in some respects, even issue six). But once the series got about mid-swing, the character of Megan became more important than the city she was in and the idea behind the series changed too much for my liking.

I’ll take issue three as the quintessential example of what the series should be. There are three or four separate narratives revolving around this telephone interview about a band, placing the various members in different spots around Richmond, VA. Megan pops up, and goes away quickly. The issue starts with looking at the city, the issue ends within a spot of the city. Well done!

Now the perfect example of how the series went wrong is in issue nine. In this issue, set in Norman, OK, Megan journeys to the spot where her parents met with her then-boyfriend Len (who isn’t named until issue 12…the hell?). The issue revolves around Megan’s memories, it becomes all about her relationship with her mother. It begins in Chicago, it ends with a shot of Megan’s face. I just don’t care.

I’m sorry but I can’t like Megan. She’s too one-dimensional and typical to try and give life to. It’s like trying to breathe life into a beaten plastic bag full of holes. She’s no different from every traveling-man in literature and making her a female doesn’t really do much for the character. I think the initial idea should have been stuck to throughout, and Megan should have stayed a minor character, or as Wood puts it “a vessel” in a story about places where we as humans live. This is why I think it’s important to stick with the original idea of the series. By getting attached to the character, Wood really dropped a lot of readers into the mud, those readers who really enjoyed the idea of the “local” in the series. I felt like a lot of issues centered on Megan to develop her character needlessly, and sacrificed the essential idea, leaving us only with glimpses into the setting instead of putting any focus on it.

Or maybe I’m just jealous of Megan because she had an Atmosphere CD in 1995, two years before the group put out any material. I’ll take my no-prize now, thank you.

Discuss

5. Wii Music

Why it’s interesting: The concept of playing a variety of instruments using existing Wii accessories interests me from a gameplay perspective and a financial perspective. No extra hardware that I have to pay a crap load of money to have only to be used for a few games; just simple fun.

4. Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World

Why it’s interesting: As a fan of the original Tales of Symphonia, I’m glad a sequel is coming out. The mix of real-time combat and a traveling feature, in which your character could avoid enemy encounters through a visual aid, made Tales of Symphonia a joy for me. The sequel promises a new story, with the same gameplay as the first Tales of Symphonia, along with a new monster combat system, which still seems shaky to me. Nonetheless, it’s on my radar.

3. Wii Sports Resort

Why it’s interesting: The 1st Wii Sports became a smash hit (based on fan reaction, since it was included with all Wii consoles, with Japan being the exception), with Wii owners worldwide. With it’s simple yet enjoyable gameplay made it a staple title for the Wii. The sequel looks to be a breath of fresh air, with the addition of new mini games, a change of scenery and the use of Wii Motion Plus (which brings more control to the on-screen movements of the users’ in-game persona).

2. Animal Crossing: City Folk

Why it’s interesting: Being a fan of the Animal Crossing series, I was glad that a new installment would be on the Wii. It features the typical gameplay that would be expected with an Animal Crossing game, along with online play that features voice chat. Also included is the ability to travel to a city, which features characters that made players wait for them to show up in their town. Nintendo promises that users who like to play offline only, will still be in the loop, as far as content is concerned.

1. Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2: Fusion

Why it’s interesting: I loved Marvel Ultimate Alliance and its spiritual predecessors (the X-Men Legends series) with a passion. It brought a great style of gameplay that combined team-based action gameplay with an RPG backdrop. With the story being based around the recent Secret War and Civil War comic books, the sequel is sure to please. Along with a new Fusion move system, which allows two characters to combine their powers for one powerful attack. Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2: Fusion is easily my pick for the best of the Wii. Which leads to….

Analysis: Nintendo’s E3 offering have been pretty stale, for hardcore gamers. It’s cool that Nintendo is making a strong push for casual gamers, but the long time gamers need something more to play than a new Animal Crossing game. The fact that Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2: Fusion was my pick for the best Wii offering isn’t a bad thing, but it is a game that is available on other platforms. They could’ve had a new Star Fox or F-Zero game to keep gamers occupied. But then again, the focus on casual game has been financially great to Nintendo.

Looking Ahead: I expect next year’s E3 will focus a little more on hardcore gamers. The good news is that there is talk that a new Pikmin game is coming to the Wii, along with the fact that the Mario and Zelda development teams are working on something.

Discuss

The East

The Boston Red Sox started the second half of the season by being swept by the juggernaut Angels. Rookie Clay Buchholz took his fifth loss of the season, bringing him to a disappointing record of 2-5. The Red Sox will need Buchholz to have a big second half to stay in the race for the division. Meanwhile, Manny Ramirez’s knee has been barking and he was benched Wednesday to give him time to rest. Despite not having Manny in the lineup Wednesday, the Red Sox managed to bounce back from their series with the Angels by sweeping the hapless Seattle Mariners. As of now, the team sits half of a game behind Tampa Bay in the standings.

The Tampa Bay Rays came back from the All-Star break with two strong series against the Toronto Blue Jays and Oakland A’s, winning two out of three in each series and maintaining their slim lead in the division. And help is also on the way. Jason Bartlett is expected to be activated Thursday and Ben Zobrist will be optioned to Triple-A Durham.

The New York Yankees started the second half by gaining ground in the division. The team won six straight games, sweeping the Oakland A’s and the Minnesota Twins, and are a mere three and a half games back in the division. But the Yanks also received bad news. Catcher Jorge Posada was once again placed on the disabled list and he could need season ending surgery on his shoulder. But strong pitching has helped the Yanks win lately, with Mike Mussina picking up his thirteenth win of the season. The Yanks could be a major buyer as the trade deadline approaches and the team struggles with their offense.

The Central

The Chicago White Sox have extended their lead in the Central to two and a half games. The team lost two out of three to the Kansas City Royals but rebounded to win a two game set against the Texas Rangers. But Third Baseman, Joe Crede was sidelined for two straight games with a sore back. Considering Crede had surgery on his back in the off-season, this could be a sign of a bigger problem.

The Minnesota Twins have struggled since the All-Star break, losing four straight games to the Texas Rangers and the New York Yankees. But help could be just around the corer as Francisco Liriano has been dominating Triple-A. He could be a big boost for the team in the second half if his minor league performances are any indication of what he could do in the majors.

The Detroit Tigers have quietly been gaining ground in the division. The Tigers split a four game series against the Baltimore Orioles and swept the Kansas City Royals. The offense has appeared to find its rhythm as the team has averaged 8 runs in their last seven games, including a 19-4 blowout of the Kansas City Royals on Monday. This team could be a major force in the Central in the second half of the season.

The West

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim continue to dominate their division, extending their lead to ten games over the Oakland A’s. And it doesn’t appear that anyone will be able to challenge them. The Angles swept the Boston Red Sox and then took two out of three against the Cleveland Indians. It’s hard to imagine anyone in the West getting back into this race.

Appetizer:
Robin 175 — this book was weird for me; I love Robin; I love Spoiler; I love Nicieza and Joe Bennett; and I’m enjoying R.I.P. almost in spite of myself…but this issue was weak for me; in a nutshell, Tim has Bruce’s black casebook and thinks Bats has gone insane (or moreso than usual), and is trying to track him down; he does so by reliving some flashbacks to 52 when he and Dick were operating across the globe while Bruce locked himself in a cave (ostensbly to show some of the hard lessons Tim had to learn), beating up some thugs, making a deal with Sgt. Harper of the GCPD, playing his plans real close to the vest around Stephanie, and making a deal with the Penguin (who looks more like the Burton version, a savage, than the refined Oswald Cobblepot of the comics…i didn’t care for Bennett’s rendition); the best bits were the Tim/Steph interactions and the revelation at the end that Tim may want Bruce to be crazy, suggesting maybe he does entertain thoughts of taking up the mantle someday; overall, though, not that great

Salad:
Trinity 8 — I’m still enjoying this book very much, but this issue felt like a salad today: just kinda there for the meal, and not real filling; Morgaine and Enigma get Despero (who holds Krona’s cosmic egg) to come along, Bruce throws a fundraiser, Supes does his thing across the globe, and Wonder Woman and Etta go shopping (probably the most fun bit of the issue) while Bruce has Oracle working on the crime ring; at the end, Bruce is attacked mid-party by several of morgaine’s howlers; in the back, we get a better look at the evil Trinity’s actual plans, and more hints as to Enigma’s true ID (all signs point to either Riddler or Two-Face, but for some reason I think both are red herrings); great art and characterization, but real light on story this week; liked it

Main Course:
JLA 23 — basically one big fight scene as the JLA pretty much get it handed to them by Amazo, with some subplot work thrown in hinting at who’s behind Vixen’s troubles (DC’s version of Anansi, the trickster god, as we’ve seen from future solicits); I’m a big Amazo mark, I’m actually a fan of Benes’s art when he semi-reins it in, and I think McDuffie’s finally being allowed to show he has a good grasp on this team’s varied personalities and abilities; really liked it

Dessert:
Brave & the Bold 15 — seriously, if I ran DC, Mark Waid would write every book; nobody, and I mean nobody “gets” these characters better than he does, from their distinct voices to their histories to their interactions with one another (and other DCU characters), he just nails everybody; last issue’s cliffhanger was revealed to be the longshot ruse i suspected, and Deadman goes looking for Batman for help, but finding Nightwing instead; playing on the level of trust that every other hero has for him (good on you, Waid, for realizing that), Nightwing bluffs the rest of the DCU’s heroes to another dimension to orevent the shadow/ghost assassins from being able to co-opt them, and he and Deadman and Hawkman storm the city of Nanda Parbat, rescue Green Arrow and Rama Kushna, and thwart the bad guys; truthfully, Hawkman is really just along for the ride this issue, as it’s pretty much Nightwing’s show from start to finish, and Waid and Kolins (whose art fans seem to either love or hate…mark me down in the “love” camp) do not disappoint; lots of action, lots of humor (especially Ollie, Boston, and Dick), a fun story, great character interaction…the only bad thing i can say about this issue is that it reminds me that Waid would probably give a limb to write Nightwing, and instead of DC being smart and letting him, we fans instead had to sit through 5 years of Grayson & Jones. If you just want a fun standalone superhero comic, you can’t go wrong here; absolutely loved it

Discuss

With MLB’s July 31st trade deadline rapidly approaching, several teams have already made their moves. The Brewers have acquired CC Sabathia and Ray Durham for 6 prospects, while the Cubs obtained Rich Harden and Chad Gaudin for 4 players. The Phillies bolstered their rotation with the acquisition of Joe Blanton, but there are several other teams who could be players in the next 9 days.

Buyers

The Mets: With Moises Alou all but done, and Ryan Church suffering from migraines, one has to assume they will be in the market for a corner outfielder. The Indians Casey Blake makes sense, as he’s capable of playing left and right field as well as third base and first base. They could also be in the market for another reliever or starter, pending concerns for Pedro Martinez and Billy Wagner. Prospects Jonathan Niese and Fernando Martinez continue to be their most asked about players.

The Phillies: Despite the acquisition of Blanton, the Phillies could use a legitimate #2 starter. Blanton’s move from the pitcher friendly confines of Oakland to the bandbox that is Citizens Bank Ballpark won’t help his already pedestrian numbers. The return of Brett Myers could help, but based on how he has pitched in 2008, the odds seem to be stacked against that. Carlos Carrasco remains with the Phillies after the Blanton deal, and they may be better off seeing if he can give them some quality innings down the stretch, given the quality of starters available on the trade market.

The Brewers: The Brew Crew has made some big moves already, but they need to make one more as they are in desperate need of a big time reliever. Right now, only Salomon Torres and Brian Shouse are performing at an above average level and off-season acquisition Eric Gagne has managed to lose the closers job to Torres, by posting an ERA above 7.00. The Rockies Brian Fuentes would be a natural fit here, as he has closing experience, and would serve to make the bullpen better.

The Dodgers: Joe Torre’s new team is in desperate need of an offensive upgrade. Their offense is averaging just 4.26 runs per game, and rank 13th out of 16 in the NL in that category. Three positions worth upgrading are 3B(being manned by Blake Dewitt, though top prospect Andy LaRoche is getting more playing time), SS (where Rafael Furcal hasn’t played since May) and LF (where the sub par Juan Pierre struggles to do anything above average). Perhaps the Dodgers are showcasing LaRoche for a possible trade? Targets could be Seattle’s Adrian Beltre (a former Dodger), and the Pirates trio of Jack Wilson, Xavier Nady, and Jason Bay. A trade for Wilson and Nady makes the most sense, and Dodgers have the prospects to get it done. Maybe Elbert, LaRoche and Hu would satisfy the Pirates.

Sellers

The Braves: Despite proclamations to the contrary, the Braves should be looking to move a few players at the deadline. At the top of the list is 1B Mark Teixiera. Acquired last summer in a failed playoff push, Teixiera is just 3 months away from free agency, and is a player the Braves are unlikely to resign. Given that they are 6 games out of first, and their pitching staff beyond Tim Hudson and Jair Jurrjens scares no one, now would be a good time to bolster the team for a run next year. Possible destinations would include the Yankees, the Angels, and possibly the Diamondbacks, where his bat and glove would provide an upgrade over Connor Jackson.

The Pirates: As noted above, Jason Bay, Xavier Nady, and Jack Wilson could all be with new teams by August. Or none of them could be. The Pirates should be looking to deal Nady while he is hot, and they have top prospect Andrew McCutchen waiting in the wings. The Pirates are looking for young pitching, and I would have to imagine 3B and SS help.

The Padres: The Padres have a few veteran players capable of helping some contending teams, such as Randy Wolf, Greg Maddux, and Brian Giles. While they are not valuable pieces, each could bring back a prospect or two, along with some salary relief.

The Giants: Ray Durham has already been traded. Could players like Randy Winn, Rich Aurillia, and Bengie Molina be far behind?

I feel like I am a pariah in the comic community. As a teenager I don’t have many people to share my hobby with. This mentality is part of what is killing comics, the negative stigma that it is a low form of art and enjoyment. Teenagers perceive comics as something beneath them. Sometimes, I feel embarrassed wearing my Civil War shirt to school.

It seems that teenagers, not little children or adults, are becoming less interested with comic books. On Free Comic Book Day, I see either adults, ages mainly in their late 20s or early 30s, or young children buying comics. I hypothesize that there is a missing link between the young kids and adults that read comics: teenagers.

I still see some teenagers wearing a Flash or Superman t-shirt to school, yet these kids just like the visual and they have no interest in the actual comics. Practically everyone my age will see the Spider-Man or Batman movies, but again, that has no relation to being interested in the comics.

Super heroes are a baffling case with the negative association enveloping them. Young kids are bought comics by their parents, and they read them and enjoy them; but as they grow older, the affection towards super heroes becomes negative. When everyone is a child, imagination flows free, and life is more innocent. Super heroes are actually cool and kids get jealous if another kid has a Batman action figure that they don’t have; but as kids grow up, super heroes are frowned upon, and eventually disappear.

As time goes on, comics become more socially acceptable for adults because they don’t care as much about how they are perceived by society, especially with the dangerous judgments so prevalent in high school. The desire to be loved by everyone is so ingrained in teenagers’ minds, that seen as socially unacceptable is rejected. Adults don’t have to deal with this as much. By that point in life, how others perceive them is of little importance.

Teenagers are afraid of being judged by others, because super heroes are not seen as cool. They wear spandex; they don’t obey reality, and are seen as geared towards little kids. Well, the correct thing to say is that comic books aren’t seen as cool while super heroes are, creating a paradox in which the original material is looked down on but the icon is smiled upon.

We brand ourselves by wearing t-shirts with logos on them, letting the logo represent who we are. Some wear Abercrombie and Fitch and some wear the Superman symbol, yet when it comes to comic book t-shirts, plenty of teenagers have absolutely no problem wearing the icons. Part of it is that teenagers don’t necessarily understand what they are wearing, but it looks cool. When you look at the comic t-shirts that teens will wear, it is something instantly recognizable, the symbol of the superhero like Batman’s yellow eclipse with the bat inside. What you won’t see is a mega company crossover t-shirt being worn.

Because it is something recognizable and something so popular, it is not frowned upon. There really is no logic in the situation, the actual comics are seen as child-ish but the icons are seen as cool (that’s still up to debate). Teens view superheroes as entertainment and comics as beneath them and “uncool,” but what it really comes down to is what is socially acceptable and what isn’t. You won’t see a teenager wearing a Civil War t-shirt (something I do wear). And know what, I don’t care. I may be apprehensive about parading my hobby but it’s all about me. The shirt represents me, stating who I am. As a teenager, I am proud of my hobby and those that don’t respect it can go fuck themselves.

Discuss

Last week I started talking about how Mike Mignola’s Hellboy bears an incredibly large similarity to Satan from Paradise Lost, and left you with the idea that Hellboy and Earth are mirrors or reversals of Satan and Hell. You can read the article here.

I want to continue with this idea and provide some examples from the text. I also want to take a look at this in comparison with Neil Gaiman’s Lucifer character from Sandman: Season of Mists.

Okay, so to start, in the second volume of the Hellboy series, Wake the Devil, when Hellboy’s horns begin to grow (after he is swallowed by Hecate the Iron Snake), he says: “I choose door number three. It’s my goddamn life and I’ll do what I want with it.” These simple words are in their own ways very similar to the “Better to reign in Hell…” quote from Satan. What Hellboy implies is that he wants to exercise his free will, as he has been taught to “do right” by Professor Bruttenholm. This is where I find most of the similarities.

If I had more time, I’d find more textual spots and point them out. The scene in Wake the Devil that sparked the idea for me was the previously mentioned scene with the horns (also in the movie). The scene that cemented the idea for me though, was in the Conqueror Worm volume (number 5), when the little alien dude who helps Hellboy tells him that when Hellboy had been summoned to earth, he looked and saw free will in Hellboy’s eyes. Mignola is a little too blunt with that part, but it’s okay.

If in Heaven, Lucifer has a purpose as the archangel, and defies God by rebelling against his purpose and wanting God’s power himself, then his sin is pride. Pride in Paradise Lost is the original sin, it’s why we are “fallen beings”. In Hellboy, pride is not the operating sin, but in this case pride is flipped up-side down to be interpreted as free will. Hellboy’s free will triggers his pride that in turn makes him rebel against his purpose. Is his pride a sin in this case, and is it a bad thing? It’s open to debate.

Okay, so now let me bring in another example of Satan in comics: Lucifer (from the Vertigo series). In Sandman: Season of Mists, Lucifer, fed up with Hell, decides to walk. His justification is that he’s doing it to harm Morpheus, but I believe the reasoning runs a little deeper. If Lucifer in the series is the same fallen angel from the epic, then by running Hell he is fulfilling a purpose, and by closing it, and giving it away to whoever the hell wants it, he is again walking out on his duty as he does in Milton’s epic. This is emphasized by the way he has Morpheus cut off his wings as he leaves Hell.

Lucifer’s wings, Hellboy’s horns, they both represent the bond they have to their duties. By breaking them (or cutting), both characters are free to explore, they have mastered their free will. I think what’s important is the implication that Hell becomes the place of bondage to destiny, taking the role of Heaven in Paradise Lost. The fact that both of these writers are attempting to take that idea on is brilliant and in its own way quite original. Granted, Gaiman is a lot more blatant about it, but I think it’s the subtlety of the statement in Hellboy that makes it a fantastic series.

Eight books and a companion book later, I’m just getting into the potential of this idea. While I think there is a lot of room to explore it, I don’t think that’s what Mignola’s aim is. If it is, he’s not saying it. I think he should keep his mouth shut though, just in case he decides it’s not and proves me wrong.

Discuss

The X-Men get caught up in the comic book blockbuster of the summer! Get ready for an epic action packed, super powered rush in Secret Invasion: X-Men #1 (of 4)! The Skrull invasion is in full effect and the country is being torn apart, but the Skrulls missed one minute detail – the X-Men have relocated to San Francisco . Join fan favorite superstar writer, Mike Carey (X-Men: Legacy, upcoming X-Men: Manifest Destiny), as he shows us what happens when the Skrulls collide with the “astonishing” might of the X-Men. With jaw-dropping interiors from acclaimed artist, Cary Nord (Ultimate Human), just about anyone who ever called themselves an X-Man will show up to wage war! Plus, a shocking revelation will leave X-fans talking for years to come!

Mike Carey told Marvel.com, “[ Cary is] a major talent and I can’t wait to see what he does with this story…It really plays to his strengths. I know he’s going to take the big battle set pieces and make them play like poetry. It’s going to be fun.”

Marvel urges retailers to check their orders on Secret Invasion and all its tie-ins as they continue to top the sales charts and sell out at Diamond. Do not miss this explosive first issue as fans continue to ask “Who Do You Trust?”

What do the Skrulls have in store for the Children of the Atom? What is Cyclops willing to do to ensure the future of the mutant race and lead his team to victory? Find out the answers to these questions and more, True Believers, in Secret Invasion: X-Men #1 (of 4)!

SECRET INVASION: X-MEN #1 (of 4) (JUN082355)
Written by MIKE CAREY
Penciled by CARY NORD
Cover by TERRY DODSON
Rated T+ …$2.99
FOC—07/24/08, On-Sale—08/13/08

To discuss, go here.

Division 18: The Union of Novelty Costumed Performers is returning to comic shops everywhere this fall via trade paperback. The black-and-white comedy by Matt Bergin and Jeremy Donelson was originally planned as a 3-issue miniseries, but despite a successful, well-received debut issue, circumstances dictated that the creators and publisher, Silent Devil, “wait for the trade.”

Certainly the always uncertain monthly market for independent/small press comics played a part in this decision, but an even bigger reason for the change in direction was that Silent Devil head honcho, Christian Beranek, was tied up in planning his latest venture, Disney’s Kingdom Comics graphic novel imprint, which he launched this summer with Ahmet Zappa. Rather than indefinitely delay Division 18 issue by issue, the creators and publisher agreed the collection was the way to go to regain their momentum and give retailers and readers a reason to Support the Union once more.

The new Division 18: The Union of Novelty Costumed Performers collection includes the popular debut, “Five Hunnies”; two new full-length stories, “White Collar Crooks” and “The Union Files”; and bonus content such as an annotated “History of Da’ Union,” which chronicles the genesis of Jimmy the Snake, Fat Louie, and the rest of the crew. The trade also features the print debut of Josh Adams, youngest son of legendary artist Neal Adams. The junior Adams debuted his Web comic, The Greatest, earlier this year at his site, whatwouldjoshdo.com, but his guest spot on pencils in “The Union Files” will mark his first appearance on the printed page on comic store shelves.

The Division 18 trade paperback appears on page 326 of the July Diamond Previews catalog and is ready for pre-order:

DIVISION 18: THE UNION OF NOVELTY COSTUMED PERFORMERS TP – order code: JUL084207

Please visit http://www.division18.com/ and http://www.silentdevil.com/ for details

To discuss, go here.

Werewolf necrophilia and talking rats are just a small part of the dark, creepy action in Ben Templesmith’s new miniseries, Welcome to Hoxford, debuting in August from IDW Publishing. The co-creator of 30 Days of Night (with writer Steve Niles), Templesmith has built quite a fan following in recent years, including critical and sales successes with titles he has both written and created artwork for, including Wormwood Gentleman Corpse and Singularity 7.

Written and illustrated by Templesmith, Welcome to Hoxford is a horrific new series that features a unique and nasty take on werewolves. In the debut issue, Raymond Delgado is the newest inmate at the Hoxford Correctional Facility and Mental Institution. He has no hope of release, parole, rehabilitation, or decent conversation. Ray hasn’t been taking his medication. No surprises there. On a good day, he’ll tell you he’s Zeus and only bite your arm off—literally. On a bad day, you won’t have time to scream to the prison guard for help. But Dr Jessica Ainley, his doctor for five years, wants to help Ray and can’t understand why the newly privatized, corporately-run prison won’t give her access to her patients. And why people are always transferred into Hoxford, but no records show anyone ever transferring back out.

“It’s odd,” said Templesmith. “But the whole reason this book exists is because my work has been banned from a few prisons. I’m told it’s among the darkest work I’ve ever done, and I don’t mean the amount of black ink I’ve been using.”

IDW will also release Templesmith’s The Art of Wormwood in August, the third such art book he has produced.

Welcome to Hoxford #1 will be available from Comic Book Retailers in August 2008

To discuss, go here.

BOOM! Studios is proud to announce LAST REIGN: KINGS OF WAR, a new four-issue mini-series created by director Walt Becker and written by FALL OF CTHULHU’s Michael Alan Nelson. An apocalyptic story of chivalric knights in a techno-nightmare future, LAST REIGN: KINGS OF WAR is a high-action sci-fi tale with brilliant covers by Karl Richardson.

Best known as the director of VAN WILDER and WILD HOGS, Becker first creative outing was LINK, a science-fiction novel about paleoanthropology and mankind’s extraterrestrial origins. A longtime fan of science fiction and fantasy, Becker will bring to comics his vision of futuristic knights who fight to survive and restore order in the ravaged wastes of a bleak tomorrow.

“I love comics in the same way I love films - they both tell stories visually,” said Becker. ”I also love the loyal fan base, and with an idea this big, I wanted to not only conceptualize the world through pictures but also to build a grass-roots following for this entirely new universe.”

LAST REIGN: KINGS OF WAR will be scripted by Micahel Alan Nelson, no stranger to BOOM!. In the past few years, Nelson has written several series for BOOM!, including the critically acclaimed ENIGMA CIPHER, DOMINION and FALL OF CTHULHU, the ongoing monthly series that continues to be one of BOOM!’s top selling books. Nelson has also contributed to the successful anthology CTHULHU TALES.

“I’ve literally been given the world,” said Nelson. “Walt’s vision for the future, filled with Middle Age influence, is a world rife with conflict. This is fertile ground for our imaginations to grow. This will be a different book than my previous work, but fans will recognize the way I mine a plot and its characters for tension. It’s just that, this time, I’ll doing it with freaking knights in the future!”

LAST REIGN: KINGS OF WAR #1 features a cover by Karl Richardson, item order code: JUN083748.

To discuss, go here.

Back from the drive-in. I won’t say don’t go see this movie at the drive-in, I won’t say you should. See it where and when you can see it. Here are some the key points that stood out to me. Spoilers ahead: The first thing that stood out to me was Heath Ledger as the Joker. I’ve been a fan of both for a very long time, and I was looking forward to his Joker character. There is, for me, a certain attitude that writers should adopt when they take on the Joker, and I’ve seen it done perfectly by certain writers and horribly by others. In the 90s animated series the Joker is a clown, and while I love that humour, I call it the kiddie version of the Joker. There’s a Joker in Arkham Asylum, in Hush and in The Killing Joke that I think is what the Joker should be. Nolan and Goyer have written the Joker as an extremely dark clown, one that haunts the nightmares of little children (he’s probably fuck It up if he could). I loved it, but at the same time, it needed a dash of that sadistic black comedy that I love in the Joker. Is Ledger’s performance Oscar-worthy? Maybe for a nomination, but if he wins it, it’ll be because (I think) they want to honour his legacy after his death. Nonetheless, the anticipation for the performance was high and Ledger did not disappoint.

Aaron Eckhart surprised me. His Harvey Dent was very well done. Since  he was, in a plot-twisted way the “other villain”, he came off as very harsh and screwed up. That’s how I like my Two-Face, not the Tommy Lee Jones’s menacing idiot. I think his role as Harvey Dent was even better. He was a pretty boy, and in a lot of ways he showed that he could flaunt it, but underneath he was rugged and rough.  Not bad for a pretty boy. I don’t know why Scarecrow was there because he was a waste of time.

In terms of supporting cast, each member pulled his or her own weight. Replacing Katie Holmes with Maggie Gyllenhaal was an excellent move, even if she’s not as pretty. She’s a much better actor. I was a bit disappointed in how little a role Alfred played because Michael Caine is a great Alfred, and I thought they sacrificed him for more Lucius Fox. Morgan Freeman didn’t disappoint in this minor role. However, Gary Oldman as Jim Gordon is probably the best casting for this movie, and in my honest and humble opinion, he stole the show. I’m really glad they didn’t kill him when they did, because he is probably the best actor to come on board these new Batman films.

Bale’s Batman is, I believe, awful. He needs a new voice. I hate the fact that he sounds like a Lord of the Rings orc on helium… He does deliver as Bruce Wayne, which is definitely his strong suit. They should keep him on. But yeah, I fucking hate that Batman voice he does.

Okay, enough about the actors.

The plot of this movie is a lot better than the first one. They really stepped their game up this time. The plot was more reasonable, even though I was a bit lost at the end. I’m still trying to make sense of it, but as I believe, they’ve fed themselves the next movie to come in two years (hopefully). I thought there were enough plot twists to keep the movie going on its high-octane adrenaline rush. That’s the one thing the movie does constantly; it just hits you with action and drama until you just get too dragged in.

What I did not like was that excessively long and boring car chase when they’re taking Dent to prison. I just got tired of it after ten minutes, and I think the movie could have definitely done without. I think the car chases are so cliché in movies though, so go figure. It just went on for too long.

I did really enjoy the scene with Joker and Batman in the interrogation room. It was where the Joker character really stood out for me. I love the way the played to the Batman/Joker Yin and Yang dynamic, and they stressed the fact that Joker is just as smart and cautious in his attacks as Batman is. This is exactly how the Joker and Batman should be portrayed, equals but opposites. In fact, now that I think of it, all of my favourite scenes had the Joker in them. The bank robbery at the beginning and the scene where he burns all of the money were both fantastic, and I think they really showed the psychopath and how incredibly brilliant he really is. My favourite scene though was definitely the scenes in the hospital where Joker was wearing the nurse’s uniform, especially in the tete-a-tete with Dent. When he walks out, still dressed in the nurse’s clothing, blowing the hospital up: absolutely perfect. That really nailed the character!

To wrap up with a rating, it’s kind of hard. If there had be absolutely no build-up to this movie, or if I was to have just randomly caught it on TV or something, I’d have to give it a 7/10, which is fair considering how much I hated the first Batman by Nolan. The build-up, the marketing and all of the controversy, as well as the excellent portrayal of the Joker makes me side with a rating of 8/10. Although, to be honest, I don’t know if I’d want to watch it again. All of the things that bugged me the first time would probably really bug me even more the second time.

Discuss

Wow!

That was the word that I kept saying to myself as I left the theater last night.

The Dark Knight is simply the best superhero movie I’ve ever seen. Yes, I said it and you’ll say it too when you see it.

The film goes from 0-60 at the beginning and never lets up. You are constantly hit with plot twists and surprises that you have no idea what will happen next but it’s a fun as hell ride. Things do wrap up eventually but it’s nice to see a superhero movie that’s not predictable.

Nolan and his crew “get” the Bat mythos and we should thank them for it with an Oscar. They truly deserve it.

Heath Ledger’s Joker is captivating as the psychotic madman who brings Gotham to its knees. To me, this is the quintessential Joker. Crazy, intelligent and unpredictable. The perfect foil to The Dark Knight.

Christian Bale returns as Batman who’s still struggling to keep Gotham under control but has help from allies, Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) and Lt. Jim Gordon (Gary Oldman). Amazing performances from all these actors but, they are constantly overshadowed by the sheer brilliance of Ledger.

The Dark Knight flies by at 2 ½ hours and leaves you hungering for more.

This movie can be summed up with one simple word.

Wow!

Discuss

Even though there will be an inherent bias against the idea, simply because this is a “comic book” film, this is what the movie deserves. Christopher Nolan and company deserve to receive recognition for this absolute fantastic and brilliant piece of work that is not a “superhero” movie but a brutal, disturbing and violent crime drama.

Despite being a hefty 2 hours and 32 minutes, there are no wasted scenes, no pieces of fluff that could have been removed. Every moment on the screen serves a purpose either to develop a character or to build towards the conclusion. The plot steadily builds towards an inevitable conflict, yet is still so riddled with twists and turns that nothing can be called predictable.

Heath Ledger is stunning, smart and scary as the Joker. His version as a psychotic anarchist is so chilling that he immediately establishes himself as The Joker, forever replacing Jack Nicholson & Mark Hamill in our collective psyches as the definitive version. Aaron Eckhart, Christian Bale & Gary Oldman give beautiful performances as men trying to save Gotham in their own way but Ledger steals every scene that he is in.

At the end of the movie, you will have been exhausted, exhilarated and enraptured but most importantly you will want to see it again. Which is the highest praise any movie can be given.”

Discuss

KOLCHAK TALES ANNUAL #1
color, 64 pages, $6.50
Dawidziak, Gentile, Nieves, Ulanski, Hudson, Harris, & Williams

A very special event, and a story Kolchak fans have dreamed of for decades… KOLCHAK vs BARNABAS?
Carl Kolchak meets DARK SHADOWS’ Barnabas Collins in a tale we could only call “An Interview with the Vampire!” Why has this famous vampire sent for a reporter well-known for slaying vampires?
Then, past Kolchak writers Gentile and Ulanski co-write together for the first time a new full-length Kolchak story! In “One Foot in the Grave,” Kolchak and Vincenzo are on a road trip through the Nevada desert, and find a graveyard of human bones. But what menace is looking to add them to it?
Two terrifying Night Stalker tales so monumental, it takes a 64-page special to contain them! 

**Regular edition ships with 2 covers in a 50/50 ratio, by Doug Klauba, and Dave Ulanski

**Sketch variant: A special limited sketch variant of Doug Klauba’s Kolchak/Dark Shadows cover is available for $8.99 (Limited to 200)

**RETAILER Incentive cover: for every 3 copies of the regular cover ordered, retailers may purchase one variant Woodrow Hinton III cover for $6.50.

THE PHANTOM ANNUAL #2
Story by Mike Bullock & Kevin Grevioux
Art by Samicler Gonçalves
Colors: Jason Jensen
Cover A by Pat Quinn
Cover B by Leonardo Manco
Cover C by Nick Derington

48pgs, color, $5.99
“Concrete Jungle”
Lee Falk’s Mandrake the Magician and The Phantom in one comic for the first time!

When a botanist is thrown from a high-rise window in NYC, the murderer’s trail leads Mandrake and Lothar to the far away jungles of Bangalla, where it’s up to them and The Phantom to find the killers. But the plot they uncover is far more sinister than cold blooded murder. Can they stop the killers before they strike again or will our heroes become the next victims? By Mike Bullock and (“New Warriors”) Kevin Grevioux!
Cover by Pat Quinn.

**RETAILER INCENTIVE: for every 3 copies purchased of the Phantom Annual, you can buy one Leonardo Manco variant for $5.99.

** LTD Edition noir cover by Nick Derington available for $8.99 (limited to 300)

”This book looks as good as anything coming out of the Big Two, and it reads better than most of it.” – Comixtreme

“The Phantom may be decades old but his stories continue to be fresh, relevant and exciting.” – Broken Frontier

Buckaroo Banzai Big-Size #1
“Wild Asses of the Kush ”
Story: Earl Mac Rauch, Art: Paul Hanley
Colors: Renato Guerra
Covers: Michael Stribling -(cover shown is not final cover)
40pgs, color, $4.75

An all new rollicking non-stop adventure tale by Banzai’s creator!

In a race to save the famed wild asses of the remote Kush mountain range, Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers uncover a large-scale World Crime League operation led by a shadowy figure from the Cavaliers’ past. Just who is Dick Ready? Is Tommy ready?

Asses wiped out for their aphrodisiac properties? Say it ain’t so!

Who is the mysterious Blind Sheik?

Perfect Tommy in an all out revenge duel to the death…but with knives or guitar solos?

A Hong Kong Cavalier breathes his last while another has turned to the dark side?

Is any of this caught on tape?

Retailer Incentive: for every 3 copies of the regular/Michael Stribling cover you buy, you can purchase one of the “Tommy and Buck” Paul Hanley variant cover for $4.75.

**Item: Limited edition “Tommy stands alone” cover by Paul Hanley is available for $7.99 (limit 300)

PSYCHOTIC REACTION:
Story: Justin Gray
Art: Thorsten Ebert, Mark Deering
48pgs, b/w, $4.99, mature readers

Sadly in March of 2008, Psychotic Reaction’s very talented artist Thorsten Ebert was involved in a terrible accident on his way to work and is currently in the hospital in a coma. This is his first fully illustrated and published comic book work. Justin Gray, Marc Deering, Paul Mounts and Moonstone publisher Joe Gentile have agreed to donate the proceeds from the sale of this book exclusively to Thorsten Ebert. By purchasing Psychotic Reaction you can help a young man realize his dream of becoming a published comic book illustrator and it is our hope that our friend Thorsten will make a complete recovery and resume the bright career he has ahead of him

Michael has the best job in the world. Not only does he get paid to play video games, but he also gets to test new games before they hit the open market. When the International entertainment giant, Brain Thrust, approaches him with an offer to test a cerebral chip for transmitting data directly into the human brain that enables a person to play video games in which they smell, taste and perhaps even feel things, it is an offer he can’t refuse. But when the line between reality and the game begin to blur and people start dying, Michael finds himself at the center of a terrifying conspiracy. Psychotic Reaction is a horror tale in the tradition of Philip K. Dick and H.P. Lovecraft, written by (Jonah Hex) Justin Gray!

To discuss, go here.

Everyone favorite spunky, redheaded Spider-Man love interest is BACK! The beautiful Mary Jane Watson graces the pages of comics once again in her new five-issue limited series…Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane! A new year of high school is starting and MJ feels like she finally has her life in order. A good schedule, awesome friends, and an “amazing” relationship with a particular web-slinger…but unbeknownst to her someone has it out for this feisty little teenager! Get ready for gossip galore as Eisner-award winning writer, Terry Moore (Strangers in Paradise, upcoming Runaways), pens this new series as well as supplies the covers! With gorgeous interiors from upcoming star artist Craig Rousseau (The Perhapanauts), you won’t want to miss the fun of Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane #1 (of 5)!

School’s back in session and someone wants to take a shot at Spidey’s girl! Join Mary Jane Watson in all new limited series, from the Eisner-winning Terry Moore, in Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane #1 (of 5)! And for more stories of one of the most popular girls in school, make sure to pick up your copy of Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane HC Vol. 2!

SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE #1 (of 5) (JUN082313)
SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE #1 (of 5) ALPHONA VARIANT (JUN082314)
Written and Cover by TERRY MOORE
Penciled by CRAIG ROUSSEAU
Variant cover by ADRIAN ALPHONA
ALL AGES …$2.99
FOC—7/17/08, On-Sale—8/6/08

SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE HC VOL. 2 (JUN082415)
Written by SEAN MCKEEVER
Art and Cover by TAKESHI MIYAZAWA
ALL AGES …$39.99
FOC—7/17/08, On-Sale—8/20/08

To discuss, go here.

After illustrating covers with many of the best and brightest superheroes in comics, Mike Mayhew returns to interiors as 30 DAYS OF NIGHT writers Steve Niles and Dan Wickline craft a horrific tale of man’s primal nature unleashed in October’s SAVAGE.

“As a kid, I was always more drawn to horror comics, but I’ve never had the opportunity return to that as an adult,” said Mayhew. “SAVAGE is my chance to take everything I loved so much about the genre and run with it. The story Steve conceived with Dan hits every note I was hungry to hit and despite this being Jeff Frank’s debut, he knocks the script out of park with Dan’s help. Everyone involved knows and loves horror like nobody’s business.”

With SAVAGE, the creators aim to hit every aspect of the horror genre - from madmen, murderers and most of all, monsters - as the series culminates an all-out war between bigfoot and a clan of werewolves.

Shadowline Publisher Jim Valentino added, “We’ve been looking for a good horror story for a while and Steve, Jeff and Dan have given us one we can (ahem!) sink our teeth into. And Mike’s artwork is nothing short of superlative! This is one to read under the covers…with a flashlight.”

SAVAGE #1, a 32-page full color comic book for $3.50, will go on sale October 29th.

To discuss, go here.

Your Spidey-Senses are about to tingle a bit more with the debut of Amazing Spider-Man Family #1! Exploring the lives of Spider-Man and the rest of his Brand New Day cast, this brand new series kicks off with 104 pages of friendly neighborhood action! What happened the day after Uncle Ben died? J.M De Matteis & Alex Cal have the answers! And what was life like for Mr. and Mrs. Parker before May “Mayday” Parker was born? You’ll get he answer, courtesy of Tom DeFalco & Ron Frenz! Take a look back at the origin of Venom and a special Aunt May Story by Keith Champagne & Shawn Moll! Plus, your first look inside the Marvel Apes universe, as Karel Kesel & Ramon Bachs, the creators behind September’s simian sensation, reveal the secret origin of Spider-Monkey!

Wrapped up in a jaw dropping cover by Adi Granov, Spidey fans can’t miss the all new Amazing Spider-Man Family!

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN FAMILY #1 (JUN082310)
Written by J.M DEMATTEIS, TOM DEFALCO, KEITH CHAMPAGNE & KARL KESEL
Penciled by ALEX CAL, RON FRENZ, SHAWN MOLL & RAMON BACHS
Cover by ADI GRANOV
RATED A…$4.99
FOC—7/17/08, On-Sale—8/6/08

To discuss, go here.

Prepare yourselves, True Believers, for a story so gritty and violently awesome it could only happen in the pages of Moon Knight! The hero who goes by his own rules finally meets his match in Moon Knight #21! After having his registration privileges revoked, Moon Knight is about to learn what happens to fugitive super heroes when they anger the Initiative. With his hands full, Tony Stark orders Marvel’s most lethal super hero team to hunt and take down Moon Knight – get ready for the ferocity of the Thunderbolts! Award winning television writer, Mike Benson (Entourage), continues his explosive run on Moon Knight and if Mark Spector hopes to survive he is going to have to let go of his inhibitions and let insanity take over! With mind-blowing artwork from Mark Texeira (Ghost Rider), “The Death of Marc Spector” is on the horizon and you are not going to want to miss it!

Additionally, to celebrate Marvel’s landmark simian series, Marvel Apes, debuting in September, this issue features a Monkey Variant cover by Jason Pearson! 

Writer Mike Benson has wowed fans and critics alike with his work on Moon Knight, with Kevin Powers of ComicsBulletin.com exclaiming, “Mike Benson’s story and dialogue are extremely well-done, the artwork is fantastic and you may find yourself loving the mind-trip that reading Moon Knight may put you on.

Eric Sunde of IGN.com said, “Benson continues to do a good job scripting the book and maintaining the voice that Huston recaptured in the first 13 plus issues…I am definitely looking forward to seeing what’s up next.”

Greg Burgas of ComicBookResources.com said, “This has become one of Marvel’s best books. Benson has taken Huston’s view of the character and expanded it, and the result is a gripping piece of pulp fiction.”

Ambush Bug of AintItCoolNews.com said, “I’ve had the privilege of reading the scripts for Benson’s first three issues and I think fans will be enjoying what Mr. Benson has to offer.”

A.C. Ferrante of IFMagazine.com said, “Moon Knight is back and better than ever…Mike Benson has taken over…the comic is revving up again for some major revelations”

What happens when Norman Osborn’s team of crazed psychopaths are unleashed on Moon Knight? Does Moon Knight stand a chance against the Thunderbolts? Find out the answers to these questions and more in Moon Knight #21! Don’t miss this thrilling first issue of a brand new killer arc – literally, we mean that.

MOON KNIGHT #21 (JUN082370)
MOON KNIGHT #21 MONKEY VARIANT (JUN082371)
Written by MIKE BENSON
Penciled by MARK TEXEIRA
Cover by ARTHUR SUYDAM
Ape Variant by JASON PEARSON
FOC—7/31/08, On-Sale—8/20/08

To discuss, go here.

The East

Are the Tampa Bay Rays slumping, or is the team finally coming down to Earth? After tearing up the American League for months, the Rays appear to have hit a wall, losing 6 straight games to the New York Yankees and the Cleveland Indians. One can’t help but wonder if this team is finally running out of gas. The pitching allowed 33 runs in those 6 games. It will be interesting to see if the All-Star break will give their staff time to rest and get back to their previous dominance.

Meanwhile, the Boston Red Sox managed to retake control of the American League East after sweeping the Minnesota Twins and taking two out of three from the Baltimore Orioles. And as David Ortiz gets closer to rejoining the club, the Sox could be in position to have a big second half.

Elsewhere in the East, the New York Yankees failed to pick up any significant ground in the division despite winning a two game set against the Rays. The Yanks lost a make-up game against the Pittsburgh Pirates and then dropped two out of three to the Toronto Blue Jays. Surprisingly, the pitching has been strong, but the Yanks have been crippled by an offense that has routinely failed to bring in runners in scoring position. And more bad news hit the team when it was revealed that Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui could be on the Disabled List longer than they were originally predicted.

The Central

The Chicago White Sox maintain their lead in the Central division over the Minnesota Twins. The team won two out of three against the Kansas City Royals and then lost two out of three to the Texas Rangers. Despite playing .500 ball for the week, the White Sox maintained their hold on the division by a game and a half.

The surprising Minnesota Twins continue to nip at the heels of the White Sox. The week started poorly for the Twins when they were swept by the Boston Red Sox, but then rebounded and took three out of four from the Detroit Tigers. And with a healthy lead over the Detroit Tigers, it’s possible this team could continue to compete for first place in the Central division.

The Tigers, meanwhile, continue to play more .500 ball. They’re seven games out and will need to have a very strong second half to get back in this race. The team showed promise during interleague play, but it remains to be seen if they can put together a similar run against American League teams, let alone the teams in their division.

The West

The Angels continue to dominate and lately it’s looking like more and more of a one horse race. Their nearest competition, the Oakland Athletics just dealt the domiant, yet oft injured Rich Harden to the Chicago Cubs for a Matt Murton, Eric Patterson and Sean Gallagher. But it would be hard to imagine that package putting the A’s into contention to take the division. It could very well be Billy Bean waving the white flag (despite a respectable 51-44 record) and preparing to make a run in 2009. But the A’s are a team that continues to surprise people year after year. It could be that the A’s needed to make this deal to bring some sorely needed offense to the team and Matt Murton is a young outfielder who has shown promise prior to this season.

By Robert Emrich

On Sunday, July 13th, Yankee Stadium played host to the MLB Futures game. The game is comprised of top young minor leaguers from around the world, as the United States takes on the World. In the past, players such as Jose Reyes, Alfonso Soriano and Grady Sizemore have won the Futures game MVP.

Sundays game features hot prospects such as the recently traded Matt LaPorta (now of the Indians), Brewers third baseman Mat Gamel, Phillies pitcher Carlos Carrassco (above), Mets outfielder Fernando Martinez, and Pirates outfielder Andrew McCutchen. With 2008 being an Olympic year, the U.S. roster was comprised of players who will likely play for Team USA in Beijing, coached by former big league manager Davey Johnson.

A number of prospects really stood out. Carrasco looked slow to warm up in the bullpen before the game (he started the game for the World squad), but when he got going, his fastball was electric. His fastball is one of the few where you can hear an audible PFFFT sound as it approaches the catcher’s glove. He was completely composed on the mound as well, going 1-2-3 in the first, and struck out two. He profiles as a top of the rotation starter for the Phillies.

Another player who stood out was shortstop Elvis Andrus, of the Texas Rangers. He and Jarrod Saltamacchia were the main bounty in last summers Mark Teixieria trade. In the first, Andrus reached on a Fielders choice and advanced to second on the same play. He very quickly stole third, and scored during the same at bat. Later in the game, Andrus made a spectacular play up the middle. His glove looks MLB ready right now, despite the fact that he has not turned 20 yet, and just reached AA.

The Mets Fernando Martinez has been much hyped. He missed most of the second half recovering from an injury, and his .271/.336/.377 line doesn’t look like much until you realize he was playing AA ball as an 18 year old. He missed a chunk of games in May and June this year with another injury(along with his now famous “Well, I guess I’m allergic to seafood” time off), but has already topped last years extra base hit total in less games. Martinez went 1 for 2 with a sharp single, and a long fly out to right field, but more impressive was the defensive play he made in center, a long, running over-the-shoulder catch at the warning track.

An interesting oddity came in the 3rd, as the A’s Brett Anderson gave up a hit and a walk, yet managed to escape with no runs allowed, and no runners on base. How, you might ask? He picked off both of the runners, the above-mentioned Andrus, and Wilkin Ramirez. A very deceptive move, impressive for a young pitcher.

The A’s Trevor Cahill was impressive in his inning of work, striking out 2 and allowing one hit, and I would be shocked if he doesn’t make the Olympic team. I’d also be shocked if he isn’t up with the A’s by 2009, despite just reaching AA earlier this year.

Matt LaPorta probably had the best game of all the Team USA hitters, yet was very unimpressive. His single was a ball that went off an infielder, and could have easily been ruled an error(in fact, my initial markings in my scorecard had it as such). Still, Indians fans should worry, as his power is legit, and he could be a terrific 1-2 punch with Sizemore.

Last but not least is Futures game MVP Che-Hsuan Lin, of the Boston Red Sox. Lin began his day as a defensive replacement in the 6th. His first at-bat came in the 7th, with a man on, and the World team leading 1-0. Lin took the first pitch he saw, and just crushed it into left field, wrapping it around the foul pole. He later added a single to go 2 for 2, and take home the MVP award. Lin, who turns 20 in September, is hitting .251 in A ball, with an astounding 26 stolen bases and 6 triples. He would appear to be several years away from making the bigs.

There were a number of high-ranking prospects playing in the game, but those were the ones that really shined on a big stage. It wouldn’t be a total shock to see a few of them in the majors with the next year.

Appetizer:
Batman & the Outsiders 9 — this book remains nothing particularly special yet is still one of my favorite DC books just b/c it’s got such an old-school flavor; Dixon knows what he’s doing, and always delivers an enjoyable read, and he will be missed; lots of little characterization moments (Katana and Batgirl’s conversation regarding family, and Metamorpho’s incognito outfit, courtesy of Green Arrow, are real treats), quick-moving (even though little really happened this issue other than exposition of plot advancement/explanation), and every character has a unique voice; as for the story, we discover the space gun has drilled a cavern into the moon, the whole thing’s being run by some alien monsters, and Looker’s still a hot telepathic vampire; great art, fun dialogue, story’s still a bit thin; liked it

Entree:
Trinity 7 — i continue to love this book; one villain is brought into the fold and another is revealed to be involved (or soon will be); Bags gets to rock Hawkman and Nightwing this issue, as Batman figures out a connection between the Trinity’s dreams, the “creation energy” floating above metopolis, the kidnappings, the art thefts, and the everchanging symbol branded to Wondy’s back; Morgaine and Enigma enlist Despero; and in the back-up, we get a history lesson and learn that the JLA’s getting the wool pulled on ‘em, as all is not well with Krona’s Cosmic Egg; loved it

Dessert:
Rogues’ Revenge 1 — man, I’ve missed Johns & Kolins on Flash; Cold, Heat Wave, Mirror Master and Weather Wizard return to Keystone, decide to hang it up, and tell Libra to piss up a rope; Chyre, Morillo and lady Zolomon discuss Bart’s death and get a visit from Piper, who reveals he and Trickster were trying to double-ross the rogues for the feds back in Bart’s run; Iris gets a quick lightning visit; and Zoom revives Inertia, telling him he’s going to make him the new Kid Flash; the Rogues decide they’ve got one more good reason to come out of retirement: revenge on Inertia; best of the 3

Discuss

She was lost to us in MESSIAH COMPLEX, now see Layla Miller in her very own extra-sized one-shot! That’s right, the girl “who knows stuff” triumphantly returns this August in…X-Factor Special: Layla Miller! After sacrificing herself in the pages of X-Men: Messiah Complex, Layla Miller has been stuck in a dystopian future. Join fan favorite and Award-winning writer, Peter David (X-Factor, She-Hulk, The Dark Tower: The Long Road Home), as he picks up right where Messiah Complex left off with Layla Miller incarcerated in a mutant prison camp. With beautifully stunning interiors from artist Valentine De Landro (X-Factor, Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane), Layla Miller is going to find herself smack dab in the midst of the Summers Rebellion! With the help of some old and new faces, the liberation of mutants rests on the shoulders of Layla Miller! Plus, a devastating truth is revealed, drastically impacting the future of the Marvel Universe! And check out the special variant cover from new rising star artist Boo Cook!

The fans and critics alike couldn’t agree more on Peter David’s X-Factor:

“Peter David is consistently one of the best writers to handle the X-Men universe each month.” – Jesse Schedeen of IGN.com

“There’s a lot of interesting concepts that David weaves into his writing, and the amazing thing is how fluidly he makes it not only work, but work magnificently.” – Adam Chapman of Comixtreme.com

“Peter David could write just about anything, and does just about every month with X-Factor. “ – Michael Colbert of Comicsbulletin.com

Since her departure from X-Factor, Jamie Madrox, the Multpile Man, has imagined seeing Layla Miller in his head. Now see her for real in X-Factor Special: Layla Miller, a must have for all X-Factor fans!

X-FACTOR SPECIAL: LAYLA MILLER (JUN082396)
Written by PETER DAVID
Penciled by VALENTINE DE LANDRO
Cover by BOO COOK
Rated T+ …$3.99
FOC—7/31/08, On-Sale—8/20/08

To discuss, go here.

A man discovers a picture of his recently deceased grandfather with an unknown woman and goes on a journey trying to discover who she is.

Now, if you’ve been following comics close enough, the name Cameron Stewart should be one you know. If not, he’s the artist behind Seaguy, won an Eisner award for The Other Side, and has worked with Joss Whedon, Mike Mignola, Ed Brubaker, and Warren Ellis. Meaning that he’s no slouch when it comes to art. With Sin Titulo, however, what’s most impressive is his skills as a storyteller.

Sin Titulo is a mystery story that, as the story goes on, reveals that there’s more to it. Like most people, I like to try to figure out where a story’s going but I’m having much difficulty and a recent page had a panel that confused me even more. I’m confused as all hell and enjoying it.

Like I said, Stewart’s a very good artist and Sin Titulo helps to prove that point. While it’s not as detailed as other works by him, it still gets the job done very well and considering it comes out weekly, that’s very impressive.

Overall, Sin Titulo is a very well done web comic by a very talented guy. Hopefully, this means that there will be more projects from Stewart showing off his writing skills as well as his drawing skills.

To discuss, go here.

BOOM! Studios is proud to announce THE REMNANT, a new project created by Stephen Baldwin with a story by Baldwin and EUREKA TV series creator Andrew Cosby. To celebrate this new series, BOOM! Studios will have available at its booth a special-edition preview book priced at five dollars during the upcoming Comicon San Diego later this month. Baldwin will also be signing at the BOOM! booth Friday the 25th and Saturday the 26th.

A supernatural thriller in the vein of 24, THE REMNANT will explore the fundamental questions of human life and our perception of reality.

“I wanted to do a comic that asked the big questions but answered them in little ways,” said Baldwin. “Philosophy and spirituality are complex beasts, but I believe literature’s purpose is to contextualize these tricky subjects into entertaining stories that speak, not preach, to the reader.” 

Caleb Monroe, the critically acclaimed writer from NEGATIVE BURN and PARABLE, will script THE REMNANT under the direction of Baldwin and Cosby with art by soon to be fan-favorite Julian Totino Tedesco.

The 16-page preview book includes a sneak peek of the first few pages of THE REMNANT, including exclusive preliminary sketches by series artist Julian Totino Tedesco and series cover artist Paul Azaceta.

THE REMNANT preview book will be a great launching point for this groundbreaking series for collectors and curious fans alike.

To discuss, go here.

The story is a group of college kids and two Southern men get attack by undead voodoo priest and his magical roadkill.

Admittedly, I’m not a huge fan of horror stories and while the art was good and the concept’s interesting, it didn’t really impress me. College students as the main characters for a horror story is over-used in my opinion (how come there’s never any horror stories taking place at a retirement home?) especially considering that they seem to fit certain types of characters such as the ‘bitch’ and the ’senstive guy’. However, Jones did a very good job telling the story.

Art-wise, like I said earlier, Setiawan did a very good job. The black and white art worked very nice and Setiawan was very good with not over-looking aspects that an artist may missed if this book was colored.

If you’re a huge fan of horror films and stories, you’ll enjoy Roadkill Zoo. Setiawan does a great job with the art and Jones is very capable. However, for non-horror fans, the creative team needed to develop the story more but if another offering comes from the pair, it should be good.

To discuss, go here.

Every con has a unique vibe. San Diego wants to dazzle you with its connections to Hollywood. The Wizard Worlds want to celebrate what’s hip and “now”, and be considered in those same terms. Dragon*Con is a 24/7 Pop Culture party.

If I had one word to describe the vibe of Charlotte, NC’s HeroesCon, it would be “chill”. If I was allowed to throw in a second one, it would be “unpretentious”. This is the most laid back major show I’ve ever attended. (Laid back for me, anyway: I’m sure it’s nothing like that for the people who actually have to run the show.)

Here’s what I mean: I’m a sketch collector, so I’m used to the idea of being in line to get in several hours before the show opens, in order to get on artists’ sketch lists. I had no problem getting a great spot in line every morning because I was one of just a handful of people that did this. Oh, the line got long, eventually, but much closer to the start time than I expected.

Inside the hall, there were no flashing lights. No towering edifices from the exhibitors or comic companies competing for your attention. You enter the hall and see the dealers’ booths. Behind them are a few indie companies spotlighting their wares, like Image and Boom!, and some comics-related folks like the Center For Cartoon Studies. Behind them sit the creators. That’s it. No muss, no fuss. Even the guy on the intercom apologized for the interruption every time he made an announcement.

If there was a downside to the hall, it’s that whoever was in charge of the air conditioning did not run it to cool the room down before the crowd was let in. Indeed, they barely ran it at all the whole weekend. This is not a good thing, as it only makes a room full of people looking to spend money more sluggish and less likely to stick around for extended periods.

Neither of the Big 2 had booths, though they both hosted panels. DC editors Dan DiDio and Jann Jones were regular sights on the floor, though, talking with creators and retailers and making an appearance at the Newsarama booth.

The guest list, as the kids like to say, is sick. Clearly, con founder Shelton Drum (who runs the Heroes Aren’t Hard To Find shop in Charlotte) has a lot of connections in this business. There’s plenty of variety as well, from current big names like Steve Epting, Mark Waid, and Darwyn Cooke to legendary figures like Dick Giordano and Nick Cardy to a huge amount of space devoted to independent creators. Not just comic book creators, either; there were several newspaper strip artists like Tim Rickard (Brewster Rockit) and Richard Thompson (Cul de Sac) as well as several artists without a gig who just set up to sketch.

While there were some big lines all through the weekend for the major names (like Cooke, Giordano, and Barry Kitson), for the most part it was possible to engage in one-on-one conversations with the creators in a relaxed atmosphere.

There was a concession stand inside the hall, but the best place to go for food was a pizza joint called Fuel which was right across the street. Great eats, with a lot of different pizza choices. The part of Charlotte where the convention center is located seems to be devoted to business, which means a lot of restaurants close down after lunch. This makes the surrounding area unusually quiet, given the size of the event.

Let’s hit a few highlights from the show:

Best meeting of a creator I never thought I would ever meet: Guy Davis. Nice guy. You should all own the Baker Street graphic novel collection.

Best commissioned sketch: I love ‘em all, really, but special mention to Roger Langridge’s deadpan Fin Fang Foom and Chris Samnee’s gorgeous Mademoiselle Marie.

Best book purchase: I got a trove of indie comics I’m still making my way through, but nothing has made me laugh harder than David Malki’s latest collection of his Wondermark strips called Beards of Our Forefathers.

Best comics talk, overheard: A lengthy and occasionally heated discussion (more like competing monologues, actually) between several attendees on the best way to revive Aquaman.

Best comics talk, participating: The Sunday Conversation panel, hosted by Dan DiDio and Jann Jones from DC, Mark Waid, and NEWSARAMA’s Matt Brady. It was an hour of people talking about their history with comics and what they love (and don’t love) about comics. A fine counterpoint to a lot of the negativity one gets bombarded with these days.

Biggest regret: Not being able to make it to any of the post-con social events. This goes double for the Art Auction, which was held this year in a local club called the Alley Cat that reportedly serves a decent hamburger. Maybe next time.

Other biggest regret: Not talking to either Dick Giordano or Nick Cardy. Something about the whole “legend” thing activates my crippling shyness, and crippling shyness is not a good quality in a correspondent.

Best “comics give back” moment(s): There are two, and both involve the late Mike Wieringo. The first belongs to the creators who pitched in to finish a “What If?” story Wieringo had started before passing. Many of them were on hand to sign copies purchased at The Hero Initiative’s booth, with all profits going to that worthy organization. The second is the recent establishment of the Mike Wieringo Scholarship for budding comics artists in connection with the Savannah College of Art and Design. Many a creator was on hand at various times at a table set up to raise money for the enterprise. (Jeff Parker was the poor sod who had to deal with me.)

There’s more, but I hope that gives you a picture. If glitz is not your thing, and/or you’re just looking for a show with a quality guest list, than Heroes is the show for you.

To discuss, go here.

I love comics with every fiber of my being. I eat, sleep, and crap comics which, trust me, makes hemorrhoids seem as easy as Paris Hilton after an all night bender. So please indulge me for a few minutes while I reveal to you what the answer to a popular comic really is. What is that? Do I really know the answer to that age old question? Well of course I do, you silly little goslings, it takes a, umm, matured queen to reveal an answer this big. And believe me when I say that the answer is not just big… but huge!

I hear you shouting at your screen. “Is it great storytelling coupled with fantastic art?”  No.  “Is it gritty street characters that swear more than Al Pacino’s subdued performance in “Scarface”?  Fuck no! “Wait! Of course, the answer is so simple – Wolverine?”  Not even on Joe Q’s best day. Gather around all my children and I shall show you the guiding light that has steered comics through all the days of their lives. Voila!

Yes, tits and ass are what sell comics. And it’s disgusting! It caters to the lowest common denominator, and pushes the idea of the stereotypical comic geek who is sitting home on a Saturday night and flogging his log to Sonja or Witchblade; his climax preceding the puddle of shame that he quickly hides at the bottom of his waste paper can.

Yet, the worst part of this travesty, what really makes this such a tragedy, is that these same writers and artists don’t realize the opportunity their missing by primarily targeting one demographic. Do they know how many of us are out there? And by “us”, I’m talking about the Fancy Boys of comics. Oh the extra number of comics that could be sold if they would just give the rest of us a lot more beefcake.

Sure we have the extremely hairy chest of Hawkman, with those magnificent leather straps that cover the nipples perfectly and helps keep those tight little green pants from falling to his ankles, but there is so much more they could do.

Not all of us are huge bear fans. Some of us like those smooth skinned twenty-something.
So what’s wrong with giving Nightwing a summer outfit? Put him in a tight dark blue muscle shirt that clings to his form, perky nipples straining to be released, a dark blue thong and combat boots to finish the ensemble. God knows I’ve seen enough of Starfire and Elektra’s ass to last me a lifetime. Let’s thong up Nightwing or Bucky, for Christ’s sake!

Where would he put those amazing and oh so enticing Escrima Sticks? Exactly where your minds went, you wonderful perverts; both of them ably inserted in his own special “Nightcave”. Not only would he be leaving the villains black and blue, watching him replace them would be so much fun.

Now I’m not saying that every book should be loaded down with the stuff, but fair is fair. I think there are enough of us, Fancy Boys, around to warrant a little us time with Carter, or Clint, or especially Dick. Some of us read our comics in the bathroom too. So give us a reason to hang around there for an extra ten or fifteen minutes, will ya! Even in the mature titles, I’ve seen more bush than the combined players of both National and American Leagues of Baseball. Hell, the last penis I saw was Yorick’s, a wonderfully flaccid penis that I can only describe as looking a lot like Bart Simpson’s, but larger.

So I’m begging all of the writers and artists in the mainstream… give me something to look at. After thirty years of spending my hard earned money. I think I deserve one cover that looks like this.

Now, that’s art!

Discuss

Today, I open with a famous quotation:

“Better to reign in Hell, then serve in Heav’n.” – As said by Satan on line 263 from Book 1 of John Milton’s epic Paradise Lost

A bit of background for those who aren’t familiar: Paradise Lost is Milton’s most famous epic poem about the fall of man in the Garden of Eden. It’s all kinds of Christian philosophy and blank verse and all that jazz. It’s studied a lot, and I’ve studied it quite a few times. There are all sorts of readings in the range of misogynist literature to Puritan propaganda and even the rise of Liberal Capitalism in the late 17th century. The latter is where I’m focusing my topic, sort of. Last year in a class that focused on politicsin the literature of the Restoration, I’d read Paradise Lost and looked specifically at the character of Satan.

In the poem, Satan is the embodiment of free will. I think this is the most intriguing fact about his character, he does what he wants. He is meant to be the very first rebel, and what I find so fascinating is the way Milton works this idea of free will into the way we have been living our lives since the Enlightenment. Normally, we don’t think of it that way, but it’s not hard to understand through the Enlightenment ethos why the Romantic poets regarded Satan as the epic’s hero.

Now, what does this have to do with comics? Off the top of my head, not much. The only real instance where we see a Miltonian Satan figure is in Neil Gaiman’s Sandman (Season of Mists, but I’ll talk about that later). No, you wouldn’t think Paradise Lost when you see a commercial for this summer’s big blockbuster Hellboy 2: The Golden Army.

It’s not the movie itself, because I haven’t seen it, but the Hellboy legacy, the character, the mythos and everything about the way he acts that is very Satanic, at least in terms of Milton’s Satan.

When I’d first seen the movie, the connection didn’t kick in. When I’d read the first book, I didn’t see it. When I’d read the second book, Wake the Devil, I saw it instantly. Hellboy’s destiny is to trigger the apocalypse, with his Right Hand of Doom. I’m not sure if Mignola is aware of it, and I’m sure in some way he is, but when Hellboy breaks his horns and rejects his destiny, he is ultimately doing what Lucifer does in Paradise Lost.

In order to really understand the connection and brilliance on Mignola’s part, one must consider where Hellboy comes from: Hell (duh…). What is Hell? It is the Kingdom of those who fell from Heaven; the demons. Okay, I’m not entirely sure if Miltonian Hell is where Hellboy is from, but I’m going to assume that it is. I have to in order to make my point.

If Hellboy is indeed a child of Hell, Satan’s kingdom, then he is effectively doing what Satan does in Paradise Lost to the point where roles get reversed. Instead of Satan rebelling against Heaven, Hellboy rebels against Hell, therefore Hell becomes the kingdom where destiny is imposed and everyone is part of a grand plan. That would mean Earth becomes Hell and Hellboy eventually takes Satan’s original role. It’s an idea that I’d like to explore in higher detail and in concurrence with the Hell we see in Sandman.

But I’m out of space for this week, so next week I’ll be looking into this premise in more detail.

Discuss

This was a series of encounters that stands out in my mind.

The background info:

My comic store is a little different from many it’s size. We’re brightly lit, organized, clean, kid-friendly, have an abundance of staff to help people, have chairs so people can browse leisurely, and have a shload of product.

As many comic stores do, we offer a Reserve Service, in which we order and hold comics and items for people who sign up for such. We don’t charge for this service, and we do not discount for it either. In all honesty if I could discount for new comics I would, but there are a number of overwhelming business reasons why we don’t. If you are reserving an unspecified amount of material, we’ll supply you with the Diamond Catalog for free each month. We tell everyone these things when they ask or sign up for a Reserve.

One of the unspoken benefits to the Reserve is that anytime we have a sale on anything in the store (back-issues, trade paperbacks (TPB’s), statues, toys, etc…) the public gets one discount, but our Reservists get a significantly higher one. Example: “Back-Issue sale! Walk-In customers get 25% off all back-issues! Reservists get 40% off!”

Another benefit is that we get a number of our Reservists in to premier comic book movies for free. We have a promotional deal at this time with a local movie theater in which they get to pass out a few thousand comics any time there’s a new comic movie weekend, and we get a load of free passes for our Reservists. Of late we’ve had showings of Wanted, Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Hellboy 2, with upcoming Batman: Dark Knight, the Spirit, Punisher War Zone, and more.

Another benefit is that while we will ask a walk-in customer to put down a deposit on an order for an expensive item (that we have to order for them), we don’t require deposits from our Reservists. Reservists get a more stream-lined ordering process (often with a 2 day turn-around on in-print items) because we already have all the critical info on file.

One big benefit to having a Reserve with us is that every Friday we send out a list of all the new items arriving the next week (generally on Wednesday) that’s more accurate than many publishers websites. The only way we don’t have something when it arrives is if it shows up damaged (we don’t sell damaged merchandise), or someone didn’t pack it to ship to us after telling us they did.

There’s your background info.

A few years ago the gent who’s the subject of this column started wandering into my store. I’d seen him in other stores, and even dealt with him a few times when I worked in said other stores. To my mind, he was “a problem customer.” He wanted a lot of unnecessary concessions, and yet never seemed to part with the money. More than once I saw him wander into a store, grab a copy of Wizard off the rack that was for sale, take off the shrink-wrapping on the magazine, and start using it as a price guide for that places back-issues. Then he’d drop that issue of Wizard wherever he was standing and leave.

He was (and may still be) a notorious ebay “flipper.” He would bargain for and buy variant covers from stores and then list them on ebay at inflated prices. He would ask people to leave him shill (false) positive feedback on occasion.

This and more things I could tell you about him. Needless to say, he stuck out in my mind and I cringed when I saw him wander into my store. In my mind, he became known as “Smiling Two-Faced Weasel-Guy.”

Encounter #1

We have a back issue sale, and Joe Public is getting 25% off on all the back-issues, with the Reservists getting 40% off. I was having a good weekend because I’d sold a high-condition Incredible Hulk #181 (money!) to a Reservist and made him very, very happy.

Smiley has come in and pulled about $30 dollars worth of back-issues which we would normally sell at cover price. When my Filthy Assistant rang him up and told him his price was some $22 and change, he got upset and argumentative.

He vocalized that it was unfair for him to get charged so much, especially during a 40% off sale, and that his price should be $12. I was called in to deal with the situation, since he wasn’t believing what he was being told by my Filthy Assistant.

I explained that Reservists got the better discount during this sale. He stated that was unfair. I was sympathetic, but firmly stated that this was how it worked.

He threatened to take his business elsewhere. I replied that was fine.

He stated that he should only have to pay $12 for the stack of back-issues he wanted, rather than pay $22, since they were common books. I told him that was even below what I was selling them to Reservists for, which at 40% would have been $18. He told me point blank I was taking advantage of his business and not treating him “right.” I point blank told him I wasn’t going to give him something I can’t even give people who have been with me for years and undercut their trust.

All the while he’s smiling at me and speaking in low tones. Smooth.

In the end (and this encounter took maybe 2 minutes), I explained that the books would be $22, and if that was unsatisfactory for him, I couldn’t help that. He bought the books and left. Smiling.

Encounter #2

Reservists get a discount on high-end variant covers of comics in my store. Generally, if a book is a 1 in 50 variant (meaning I had to order 50 copies of the regular cover to get one of these variants), I’m going to place a value in dollars equal to the quantity I had to order to get it. 1 for 50 variant? $50. 1 for 25 variant? $25. 1 for 10? $10. I don’t bother pricing up anything smaller than a 1 for 10, which has made a lot of Buffy fans happy.

Reservists get a 20% discount on variant books that have a higher than cover price. A 1 for 50 variant that is normally $50? Reservist gets it for $40. A 1 for 25 variant that is normally $25? Reservist gets it for $20. Most of the popular series variants are taken by Reservists before they even make it to our racks. We often have to play “They got the order in for the variant before you!” with some people on things like 1 in 75’s to 1 in 200’s.

Smiley wanders in and wants some high-end variants. Now, I wasn’t here for this encounter, so bear with me and my secondhand info.

As it was explained to me after the fact, a Reservist had gotten their books from where we hold them and laid them on a table we supply for customers, and then gone looking for more books. In his stack of books was a bagged and boarded variant that he had reserved from us some two months prior and was labeled with his discount on it. Smiley walked by, saw the variant he was looking for (a much-sought after 1 in 75 variant by a recently passed artist of some notable fame), and grabbed it. From the middle of the pile. And wandered off into the store.

Smiley was found near the back of the store by the Reservist who had ordered the book. The Reservist found Smiley standing in a corner with the book out of its bag and board, reading it. With a smile. And his name on a post-it on the bag-n-board that used to contain the variant comic book on the floor.

The discussion of “Hey, that’s mine.” ensues. As I understand it, Smiley claims the book was simply sitting out for sale on the table. The Reservist stated otherwise, pointing at his name on the covering for the variant. Some verbal fencing happened. Smiley ended up placing the variant down on the shelf and walking away, whereupon the Reservist re-bagged his prize, then purchased it, and left.

I found out about all this through a phone call maybe an hour later. I wasn’t happy.

Encounter #3

Smiley came into my store to try and sell us a number of variant comic books. He came in with a short-box full of variants from the mid 1990’s. I wasn’t interested in purchasing them, and told him so.

Smiley changed to trying to trade with me for some current books, notably some now out-of-print hardcover TPB’s. I still wasn’t interested, probably because I found it very distasteful dealing with this person.

He sweetens the deal a couple of times (including a trip to his car to get “the good stuff.”), but I’m just not interested. All the while he’s smiling and speaking very pleasantly. No deal happens.

Smiley then asks if it’s okay if he sells the books to some people in my store, either by commission, or him just walking up to people and selling to them there. I tell him very flatly “No.”, even though I’ve allowed Reservists to sell books through me by commission before.

An hour later he’s standing outside my store with his variants and trying to sell to my customers as they pass in and out of my store. I communicate to him that if he continues, I’ll have to call the police. He calmly states that he’s not hurting anyone, and that this is public property (the sidewalk). Not caring to debate, I simply walk into my store and pick up the phone which he can see me do through the display window. Smiley leaves.

Encounter #4 (kinda)

I run into Smiley at a local Big Chain Bookstore. He’s sitting in a chair drinking coffee from another store (not the coffee that the Big Chain serves), with a hard cover TPB in his lap, with the shrink-wrap covering on the floor beside his chair. He never looked up and saw me as I passed by.

I don’t speak to him at all, merely mentally note the encounter and continue on my way to find a book for my wife.

Encounter #5 (sorta)

A friend who works at a local Big Chain Retail outlet tells me about Smiley opening packaged toys and switching out figures. I can’t do anything about this, but I note it.

Encounter #6

Smiley wants to buy some action figures (AF’s) from my store.

My Filthy Assistant pokes her head into my office as I’m mired in paperwork and says that Smiley is here and has some AF’s that’s pulled off the shelf that he wants a discount on.

“No.” I flatly state. There’s no sales going on at that moment, our AF’s are low-priced anyway, and it’s Smiley. I’ve decided I don’t like him.

“The cards the AF’s are on are bent at the corners, and that’s why he wants a discount.” the Filthy Assistant tells me. “Cards” is the packaging on some AF’s.

“No.” I state again.

Then a thought occurs to me. “Wait,” I say. “Were the cards bent before? We don’t sell damaged stuff.”

“I don’t think so…” says my Filthy Assistant.

“No, no discount.” I state as I put my head back down into my paperwork.

“Cool.” Says the Filthy Assistant as she goes off to face Smiley.

Smiley bought the AF’s at normal price.

Encounter #7 (Final battle! Fight!)

Smiley calls my store and asks to speak to me personally. We’ve just announced that we’re going to be giving out passes to see Iron Man on premier night.

“Can I get two passes for Iron Man?” asks Smiley of me.

Knowing the answer, I still ask “Are you a Reservist? These passes are only for them.”

“No, I’m not a reservist. I shop where I can get a discount, with XXXXXXX. But I spend a lot of money in your store.” Smiley tells me.

>snap<

I mean it. I really heard a little >snap< in my head and had a heat sensation run down my neck and up my ears.

“Well,” I start in with, “XXXXXXX isn’t around anymore and hasn’t been around for quite a while now.”

“I shop with them online.” he tells me.

“Iron Man passes are only for our Reservists.” I state with what I’m certain is some venom creeping into my voice.

“Well, I thought that since I spend so much money with you, you’d want to make me happy.”

>Snap!<

“I’m sorry?” I state, not ask. I figure he’s maybe spent $50 dollars with me over the past 3 years, and the grief he’s cost me can’t have a dollar value placed on it.

“I just want a couple of passes to see Iron Man. I spend money in your store, and I will probably spend more there if you keep me happy.”

>SNAP<

“No. You ain’t worth it. I know you, and I have dealt with you too often. No passes, no giving you anything. Do NOT come into my store again! Understand?!” I finally loose my cool.

“Hey, I just think that…” he starts back with.

“~click~ mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr” is what he hears as I hang up.

Lesson: You can’t haggle if you’ve nothing to haggle with.

To discuss, go here, monsieur and madam.

Movie

Review by L’Indépendant

The Incredible Hulk lives up to its name, giving Marvel Studios a 2-for-2 score this year with summer movies. Possible spoilers ahead.

I profess to only having ever read Bruce Jones’ first 3 or 4 issues of his arc on Incredible Hulk, and not being grabbed by them. And I didn’t see Ang Lee’s Hulk. But after knocking it out of the park with Iron Man earlier this summer, and with a buzz around the easter eggs to be included in this film, I was more than looking forward to seeing this Hulk.

Ed Norton was great. He’s the last person I’d ever think to be in a superhero film, but he’s definitely the first guy I’d want to see play Banner from now on. Liv Tyler is believable as Betty Ross and plays her part as Betty Ross, and William Hurt turns in another great performance to go with his role in History of Violence. Roth is downright evil as Blonsky, and makes for a great villain.
While delving only a little into the origins of Hulk (as the first movie did), this story starts out with Banner hiding in the favelas of Rio, working in a bottling plant to pay the bills while trying to find a way to suppress the monster inside him and to find a cure. He’s off the radar until an unfortunate accident blows his cover, and BAM, the action starts. Complaints about a lack of action in Lee’s Hulk ought to be quelled by this installment/revamp. Norton gets enough face time as Banner to push the story forward, but Hulk is very present in the film (I hope Bryan Singer takes some cues for the next Superman installment). Mix in Roth’s Abomination and an immense battle in NYC and you’ve got a great action movie.
The easter eggs are worth looking for. There’s a cameo in there that might not be easy for people to pick up on if they’re not privy to Hulk lore. And let’s do our best to say that this fits in well with the Marvel Studios universe without giving too much away. Lastly, to save you time: don’t bother staying until the end of the credits, as in Iron Man - there’s nothing added there.

For the love of all that is good and holy, please bring Norton, Tyler and Hurt back in any sequels or tie-ins. And please, let there be a least a couple sequels as good as this movie.

It’s going to be a long wait for another Marvel movie, isn’t it?

Talk about Hulk here.

Sound the trumpets, beat heavy the drums of battle, and let slip the barbarian hordes to wreak havoc across the land….

Welcome to the first column of Tabletop Wisdom, I am your host, Wisdom000, and in the future this column will be dedicated to tabletop gaming, mostly RPG, but there will also be some board and card game groovyness for your pleasure as well.

What better way to start off this new column than for it to coincide quite nicely with the release of 4E Dungeons And Dragons. This latest edition has induced more speculation and fanboy whining on a level not seen since Tony Stark went all George Bush on the superhero community. Some of the complaints have been valid, some have been woefully unfounded, and some have just been so far off the mark that they missed the conversation entirely.

4E, like it’s predecessors, is one more step taken towards streamlining the rules.

The d20 system (which formed the basis for 3rd and 3.5 edition Dungeons And Dragons) was leaps and bounds ahead of it’s predecessors in terms of imporvement. The inclusion of the skill system meant the game could finally be used for more than just hack and slash, as social mechanics, which have been a major part of gaming among other systems, have been included since the late 80’s, early 90’s. Decreasing round time (the time in which every participant in a given combat can make their alloted attacks or actions) from one minute to six seconds may not sound important, but for believability issues it made things much easier to comprehend. In later rules supplements it became apparent that any intelligent creature was playable (with a little tweaking) as a character race, this was a big plus, as not everyone wants to go for the standard Human/Dwarf/Elf/Halfing/Half-Orc races available. There were other improvements as well, but by far the biggest improvement was the removal of THACO (To Hit Armor Class 0), which was so confusing and bemuddled that it scared off many an individual who would otherwise have loved gaming. Since Dungeons and Dragons, by way of it’s popularity and renown, is the gateway drug to gaming for most people, that was not a good thing, for the game or the industry.

The fact that D20 was created under an Open Game Liscense (OGL), the industry equivalent of Shareware, was a brilliant move. It meant that anyone could publish their own material using the same rules as DnD, companies popped up in a boom to rival that of the comics industry of the early to mid 90’s. The outcome was very nearly the same as well. With so many companies starting up, and everyone throwing out their pieces of the pie, quality control was almost unheard of, and not only was the d20 system the focus of a humongous glut, but because everyone was so focused on this one system, very little innovation was being made for other systems, and what little new ideas there were were stifled financially over the consumer and publisher frenzy over d20.

That wasn’t the only, nor even the greatest, flaw with d20. It’s greastest flaw was the inclusion of Feats (special powers/abilities your character could take) and Prestige Classes (the same thing, only spread out over multiple levels of your characters career). The amount of feats and prestige classes available to a character was inumerable. Even sticking to just official products, one character could have to reference a dozen books just to know what every Feat and Ability he has is able to accomplish. While exciting, and certainly profitable from WOTC’s (Wizards Of The Coast, publishers of Dungeons and Dragons) point of view, for game play this became rather old, rather tedious, and rather ridiculous fairly quickly. It was also often unbalancing, due to poor communication and playtesting.

4E has come along and fixed many of these problems. No more prestige classes, although it remains to be seen if feats are still going to create the massive distraction. 4e is still open liscense, kind of, now you have to pay a small fee, which acts as a measure of quality control for their product, so hopefully we won’t have to experience another industry stagnation and sub par products from fly by night companies.

The best advance with 4e, I have to say, is the way magic using classes work. Now every class gets to use a little bit of magic, and has a limited amount of self healing they can perform on themselves. The idea of having to “rest for spells” after every major combat is gone. Magic cast by characters comes in three flavors now, At-Will (which can be used anytime, as many times as a character wants), Encounter (which can be used once per combat) and Daily (can be once a day). Combat magic (fireballs, magic missiles, etc.) are instantaneous, while other magic, such as (Ressurections, Creating Undead, Breaking Curses) are time consuming affairs. But with ritualized magic, you don’t actually have to be a member of a spell casting class to use it. Regarless, the whole idea of having to sleep for 8 hours just so a wizard or cleric can regain their spells for the day is gone, a thing of the past. That alone is cause to celebrate the new edition.

In every edition of DnD, there has always been a “sweet spot” when the characters and the challanges they face, are the most entertaining and when things run the smoothest, usually between 5th and 12th levels. The stated goal of 4e designers has been to spread that sweet spot out further, making the game more enjoyable for longer periods of time. Time will tell if they have accomplished that goal, as it has only been out a few weeks so far, but it looks like they have gone a long way towards accomplishing it. The non magic based classes are streamlined as well, and finally the Ranger class is not completely useless.

But it does have problems. Favorite Races and Classes are no longer part of the core rules, so no monks, no bards, no half orcs, no gnomes, at least not till next year when they release the “updates” to the core rules. Although for some odd reason they included Dragonborne and Tiefling into the core classes, both races seem kinda wonky and powergamey to me, so I am not all that interested.

Unfortunately, the one mechanic I hate more than any other is still the core of the game; Level Based class and hitpoint advancement. I simply despise this mechanic, I always have, I always will. By it’s very nature it eliminates drama, as a character or creature with 100+ hitpoints is unkillable in a single blow. Taking a PC hostage and holding a knife to their throat is not a deterrent or threat to anything, because you simply cannot do enough damage to them in one round to kill them. No matter the content, setting or genre, any game which features this mechanic, which is by far the majority of them, simply fails to get me very excited at all.

Another big issue is the price of the books, having to buy 3 books (Players Handbook, Monster Manual, and Dungeon Masters Guide) just to play the game at all is extremely excessive, especially when each book runs for 30+ bucks apeice. There are so many things I would rather spend my $120 on it’s not even funny. This is further an insult when you consider that 3rd edition was released in 2000, and 3.5 was released a mere 4 years later, this is the third time in 8 years they have required their customers to shell out $120 just to remain compatible with the latest editions of the game. It’s unheard of and ridiculous. And in my opinion, simply not worth the money. Yes the newest edition is better than previous editions, and its a blast to play, far easier and more intuitive, but it’s simply not worth the price, particularly since they just asked us to do this 4 years ago.

On the other hand, the 1979/1981 Basic Dungeons And Dragons is still an absolute blast to play, characters take 5 minutes to create, and though the rules are extremely limited in what they cover, you will be laughing so hard and hoohaing so much that you won’t even notice.

With the talk of 4e out of the way, I introduce you to the second part of my column, which will be a regular feature. Here I will be talking about Interlock Unlimited. Interlock is the core game engine of Cyberpunk, Cyberpunk 2020, Cybergeneration, Teenagers From Outer Space, Castle Falkenstein, and Mekton, which were all published by R. Talsorian Games. This system was later replaced by Fuzion, which draws heavily from it (to the point of eay compatibility) for their current games such as Bubblegum Crisis, Dragonball, and Cyberpunk 3rd edition. Interlock is by far my favorite system in the world, its easy, yet realistic, and falls right in the middle between Savage Worlds simplicity of play, and Gurps Realism. But interlock has problems, they tried to fix the problems with Fuzion, but IMHO simply made the problems worse, effectively throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

Interlock Unlimited is my (and my co-conspirators) attempt at fixing Interlock, not only streamilining it, sorrecting the things that are redundant or don’t work, but also making it a truly universal system, able to handle any genre or setting right from the get go, or at least with as little effort as possible.

The core rules of Interlock Unlimited are almost complete, and would have been finished by now if it weren’t for personal upheaval (see the latest Church Of Wisdom). We are still working on Magic, Super Powers, and Psionics mechanics for the rules, but things are looking really good. And if everything goes as planned, any game that already uses Interlock or Fuzion rules will be fully compatible. Playtesting has begun for the completed parts, and a private forum has been established for myself and those interested to throw out ideas, work on possible supplemental material, and basically iron out any problems. My own Cyberpunk 2020 group of 12 years switched to these rules (from Interlock) recently, and I will be putting the rules to a hyper playtest soon as I take a group on an adventure loosely based off the film Time Bandits, where they will be time/dimesnion hopping from place to place, encountering the DC or Marvel Universe, high Fantasy Realms, Star Wars, Cthulthu, Prehistory, ancient Egypt, etc… in an effort to see what the system can easily handle, and where it needs work. Obviously I have to get Magic and Super Powers working first, but hopefully things will go well, and regardless it should be fun…

I will be keeping you all updated on this project, and my Cyberpunk 2020 webstite, Datafortress 2020 (the largest and most comprehensive (Cyberpunk 2020 site in the world, and the site I will be hosting the finished Interlock Unlimited project on) so stay tuned and keep checking in.

Keep on rollin’ in the free world…
Wisdom000

To discuss, go here, monsieur and madam.

With just a few days left before teams head into the All-Star break, the action in the National League has heated up. In particular, the NL Central in engaged in a contest of dueling banjoes, while in the NL East, a struggling team has started to make their move.

We’ll start with the NL East. After floundering through the first 2 and a half months, the New York Mets have started to come around, responding to new manager Jerry Manuel. Manuel is 13-10 since taking over, and the Mets are currently 1.5 games out of first, behind the Philadelphia Phillies, whom they recently took 3 of 4 from.

Is it a sign of things to come with the Mets? It’s hard to say. There are many question marks surrounding them. Can Pedro give the Mets 6 solid innings? Will the Mets get Church and Alou back in time to help? The current corner outfielders are Tatis/Anderson and Chavez. That simply will not cut it. Right now, the Mets are getting hot hitting from Tatis, Chavez, and Damion Easley, filling in at 2B for the injured Luis Castillo. But in order for the Mets to think about playoffs, they need to improve the corner outfield spot.

As for the Phillies, the rotation is a concern. Beyond Cole Hamels, it lacks consistency. Offensively, the team can mash, but seems prone to slumps. With the trade market for pitchers all but empty, will a rotation of Hamels/Moyer/Eaton/Kendrick, plus a big question mark for the #5 spot be enough to keep them in the hunt?

The Marlins have managed to hang around, and like the Mets, are 1.5 games out of first palce. Out of all the teams in contention, the Marlins look like the biggest overachievers, having allowed more runs than they have scored. Since June, they have played sub .500 ball(15-21), and could be on their way out. Given their struggles to score runs, and their lack of a true centerfielder, one has to wonder how long before top prospect Cameron Maybin is called up from AA.

The Braves might be the biggest underachiever in the division. According to the Pythagorean Win Theorem, the Braves should be 49-42, which would put them in first place. Instead, they are in 4th, with a 43-48 record. While injuries have played a role(they’ve lost John Smoltz, Chipper Jones, Rafael Soriano, and Mark Kotsay for varying lengths), their inconsistent offense has hurt them more than anything. The Braves have been shut out 8 times already this season, and are 6th in the majors in double plays hit into. They are right on the cusp of being buyers at the deadline, and sellers at the deadline.

On Sunday, the Brewers threw the gauntlet down at the Cubs, acquiring 2007 AL Cy Young winner CC Sabathia in exchange for 4 minor leaguers, including top prospect Matt LaPorta. This gives the Brewers a 1-2 punch of Sabathia and Ben Sheets. That combo compares favorably with other NL contenders, and combined with the offense could help the Brewers close the 4 game gap on the Cubs. However, the Brewers bullpen has to be a concern, with only Salmon Torres and Brian Shouse performing well. A trade seems likely, and they have the farm system to do it.

On Tuesday, the first place Cubs responded by acquiring oft-injured Rich Harden in exchange for Matt Murton, Eric Patterson, Sean Gallagher, and Josh Donaldson. It’s an interesting move for the Cubs, who also got pitcher Chad Gaudin in the deal. Harden, when healthy is a top of the rotation guy. But when healthy isn’t very often, and you have to figure there is a 50/50 shot that Harden breaks down by August. Gaudin is insurance for just such an event.

Over in the NL West, it’s a race that no one seemingly wants to win. The Diamondbacks are in first with a .500 record. The Dodgers are a game back, and blew a chance to move into first place by struggling in June, posting an identical record to the Diamonbacks at 11-16.

The Dodgers look to be in better shape, given their farm system. If a Mark Teixiera becomes available, they have a better chance at getting him. As of right now, the teams are pretty even on the field. The Diamondbacks superior 1-2 punch of Brandon Webb and Dan Haren would give them a slight edge down the stretch.

The wild card is also a tight race, with the Brewers holding a .5 game edge over the Cardinals, and the Mets and Marlins are both 4.5 back. Down the stretch, its going to be an interesting summer. The Mets and Phillies have 9 games remaining between each other, which could settle the division. The Brewers and Cubs have a big 4 game series at the end of July, along with 6 games in September (including the last weekend of the season). That series will be the one to watch, though the NL will have no shortage of interesting games.

The Tampa Bay Rays maintained their lead in the division by sweeping the Boston Red Sox and then took three out of four against the Kansas City Royals. It appears right now that the Rays machine is firing on all cylinders as they begin pulling away from the pack in the division. But it hasn’t come without cost. Closer Troy Percieval was sent to the disabled list for the second time this season.

The New York Yankees squandered an opportunity to climb up in the division after losing two games to the Texas Rangers.  But the Yankees bounced back enough to split a four game series with the Boston Red Sox. In the process, Johnny Damon was sent to the disabled list, adding further to the string of injuries that have severely impacted the team this season. But this is an opportunity for Brett Gardner, one of the Yankees top position prospects to prove he can cut it in the majors. And he did so in dramatic fashion by being the difference in two wins over the Red Sox. Depending on what Gardner is capable of, Melky Cabrera’s days as a starting centerfielder in New York could be numbered.

The Central:

The White Sox are still where few predicted them to be…..in first place. They’ve won eight of their last ten and maintain a slight edge over another surprising team, the Minnesota Twins, who were expected to be in a full rebuilding mode after dealing Johan Santana to the Mets. But right now, they’re very much in the race after taking two out of three from the Detroit Tigers and sweeping the Cleveland Indians.

And the Cleveland Indians have effectively stuck a fork in their season by deal 2007 Cy Young winner C.C. Sabathia to the Milwaukee Brewers for a package of prospects including Matt LaPorta. The trade clearly shows that the Indians are looking at the long-term future of their offense, which has been their biggest weakness this season.

And the Detroit Tigers played more .500 ball this week. It remains to be seen if this team can somehow pull itself together in time to contend for the division. They’ve shown flashes of potential, but pitching continues to cripple the team. This month will be critical to the team as they play 18 games within their division. This could very well make or break them for the season, and they’re not off to a good start, losing two out of three to the Twins this week.

The West:

The Angles maintain a healthy 6 game lead over the Oakland Athletics in the Western Division, but catcher Mike Napoli was put on the disabled list with inflammation in his shoulder. Ryan Budde was called up from Triple-A Salt Lake to fill Napoli’s spot on the roster. But the Angels still had a good week after winning two series this week against the A’s and Blue Jays.

The Oakland A’s appear to be fighting for a Wild Card spot right now, but have struggled this week, losing two out of three to the Angels and splitting a series with the Chicago White Sox. The pitching has remained strong, but the offense will need an upgrade for this team to have a realistic shot at the post-season.

Hello and welcome to my boring column that looks at really boring topics like comics being understood as literary thingies which basically means because I’m an English major with no job, I read comics and over analyze them until you decide to shoot me. Oh, my name is Keb if you don’t already know, and I’m an English major and I tend to over analyze things. Anyways, enough of this wasting space already!

So I received a copy of the first Boys trade paperback for my birthday. I remembered reading reviews and interviews and thinking “Yeah, whatever Garth Ennis go away.” I say this because I’m not a big fan of Garth Ennis. I can understand why people like him, but I don’t. Before you try telling me to go read Preacher and Punisher MAX and that not liking Garth Ennis is like kicking the Pope in the nuts, well, don’t bother. We are allowed to have our opinions no?

So yeah, where was I? The Boys volume 1 The Name of the Game. Present, birthday, and me, well I never turn down birthday presents. I opened, I read, I skipped the introduction by the Shaun of the Dead guy, I looked over the first couple pages, I laughed at the dog, I read some more. I enjoyed the art. I didn’t expect to see such a blatant murder of the superhero. It was appalling, treacherous, low and absolutely ballsy on the parts of Ennis and Robertson. I fucking loved it!

I find it intriguing that Ennis takes the superhero and turns him (or her) into a giant piece of shit (figuratively…so far). Impressive! I have a dislike of super-heroics, particularly those from the older ages. I’ve always been a fan of those stories that deconstruct or humanize the hero, but Ennis, he does something different. The moment where we get Wee Hughie, hugging and kissing his girlfriend, then whoosh this big body flies out of nowhere and there’s Wee Hughie holding his dead girlfriend’s arms, and while I’m feeling sympathetic and also trying not to laugh (yeah it’s kind of funny), I’m in awe of how the hero acts when he captures the bad guy. That moment capitalizes on the pompous attitudes of celebrities and applies them to heroes. Running theme of the book, I think.

The problem with heroes is that they are so bloody moral. I often feel like reading an issue of Superman is like reading a didactic tale of what I should be when I step out of my house. When I read The Boys, I feel like I’m reading about over-powered celebrity totalitarians who run the world, and then the people who keep them in check. We’re exposed to a new type of hero, and not an anti-hero, but a power-mad asshole with a hard-on for control. It’s so sickly humanizing, that it de-humanizes the hero, makes him a villain, and perceptions become skewered. I can tell this is exactly what Ennis has in mind with this series. Ennis doesn’t want to deconstruct, he wants to bastardize superheroes, and then he sends in the Boys to kick their heads in.

The Boys, in my opinion, is a brilliant way of advancing the superhero into new territory.  Why bother looking at the hero as opposing evil, when we can see a hero doing things that we don’t necessarily want to believe they’re capable of. Of course, the over-the-top approach is completely Ennis, but it works. It draws out the conceptions, twists them and leaves us to accept the tangled mess as readers with the morals we hold. It’s like a deformed child: at first we’re disgusted, grossed out, and ten minutes later, we can’t help but look and admire it, maybe we even begin to see it as a thing of complex beauty.

Discuss

Hi Everyone. I’m Keb. I’m kind of cool. I’m also the editor of the new op/ed section here at the Outhouse. It’s new and shiny. I just wanted to give you a heads-up of what’s going on with it.

Right now, there are four writers (including myself), three of them will be appearing monthly, and I will be appearing weekly, with new opinion-esque columns about comics and stuff. Every Monday we’ll be hitting you with rotten vegetables and moldy cheese, and maybe a new fresh article or two.

Today, I’m kicking off the new and improved and signifcantly shorter Peeing in Your Shower (I changed a word), which now attempts to look at comics as something literary, and my aim, personally, is to give readers a different understanding of how comics can be read. Mostly, people read for entertainment, but I’m looking beyond the entertainment values and into comics as a form of literary expression. It all sounds very pretentious but I hope it comes off as fun. And it all happens every week!

Every second Monday of the month, everyone’s favourite poster (or at least one of mine) Starlord, will be giving you six hundred or so words on comics from the satirical perspective of a gay man. If you know Starlord, and I think we all do, his category should be bookmarked and read often.

On the third Monday of each month, newcomer Forbush Man will be giving us the perspective of a comic-reading teenager who finds comics and teens as a kind of dying trend. Forbie’s work will attempt to identify and isolate the missing links between teens and comics and try to make sense of these missing links. These will be the kinds of columns you share with your loved ones.

Finally, on the 4th week of every month, Lucretius will be looking at the non-comic fanboy experience, including movies, video games, message boards, the internet, the comic shop and the conventions and how they all affect how we read the comics we read. I would call it an exciting and introspective column that you should at least check out.

Also, beginning next month, Victor C, the board’s very own Toolverine, will deliver The College Perspective (pending title) on a monthly basis. Vic hasn’t made any promises, but I know his stuff is good. He’s written for the site before and besides, I know you all vote Toolverine.

You will all enjoy these columns and maybe even get something out of them. Do you know why? Because I said so! Remember, we’re writing these for you guys, not for mass public consumption, so show us some support!

Discuss 

Written by: Marc Andreyko
Artist: Michael Gaydos

The action picks up exactly where it left off last issue with Kate investigating the death of over 400 women “down Juarez way”. She runs into Blue Beetle out in the desert and both heroes’ costumes take over their owners bodies as they try to eliminate each other. Blue Beetle’s armor informs him that it recognizes Kate’s costume as that of a Darkstar, and it’s pretty obvious the suit hates them more than a Green Lantern. After taking back control of their cloths, Beetle gives Kate a lead in the Mexican underworld by giving her the name LaDama.

A short interlude shows Kate’s son Ramsey bringing home a puppy that his grandfather has bought for him, a dog with a bit of a secret. A second short interlude reveals a young woman who is taking her son to a pool, only to have the car’s airbag burst and a picture of The Joker on it. The infamous green gas is released…

Kate’s investigation takes her to LaDama who clams up quicker than you can say “clams up”. She does, however, point Kate in a different direction – The DEO. However, when she contacts her employer, Mr. Bones demands that she stop her investigation into Ciudad Juarez. After a heated exchange, she hangs up on him and Bones places a call to Amanda Waller.

The police investigate the bodies of the grinning dead woman and her child, questioning the father on how she might be connected to Joker. After viewing the body he announces that it isn’t the Joker who did it, it’s Dylan Battles!

Kate, meanwhile, is contacted by a mysterious figure who informs her that what she is getting herself into is bigger than she could even imagine. While she contemplates this, the young woman that she has originally been look for is shown strapped to a table, and hovering over her is The Crime Doctor!

Comments:

Sometimes an extended hiatus can kill the momentum of the creative team involved, but in the case of Manhunter, it has done the opposite! This has got to be one of DC’s best books that are being put out right now. An extremely well defined character that continues to grow in a logical progression, Kate Spencer is in the top three of strong female characters.

This issue shows that the entire creative team is at the top of their game; their love and passion for all characters involved, shows in every panel. The new twist with Manhunter’s costume, when the new Blue Beetle shows up, is just as intriguing as the main plot that drives this issue. Still not enough for writer, Andreyko, he also gives us a second sub-plot that asks the question: Is there a connection between the maniacal Joker and Dylan Battles? There’s so much great storytelling, along with beautiful art, in this book that it’s more than worth the money.

This is classic comic telling at its best, and this reviewer is hoping that Andreyko and clan are back for a very long run.

My score: 9/10

“Ghost Box” 

Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Simone Bianchi
The Beast and Hisako discuss Wolverine’s making fun of the Code Name (Armor). Meanwhile, Cyclops and the White Queen wake up and decide to meet the Beast and Hisako at their new headquarters.

Storm surprises them all with her unannounced presence. She’s come under the pretext to observe her former teammates, but in reality she has become bored of performing her dull duties of Queen of Wakanda. During her visit, she informs her teammates that the Black Panther has invested money in Mutants Sans Frontiers (M.S.F.), who recently found the X-Men.

The SFPD, as often consults the X-Men. This time they call Cyclops to investigate a murder. The detective asks the crew to look into the murder of a storeowner, who evidently was set on fire and left floating in the air. They agree. During the investigation, the Beast asks Wolverine to extract tissue, while the White Queen goes through the victim’s belongings, specifically his notebook which details the victim following three men, one in particular known as “Subject X”. They construe that the killer is trying to get to Chaparanga Beach, upon this realization they head the same way hoping to catch up with “Subject X”.

While heading back, the Beast discovers that the victim has 3 sets of chromosomes as opposed to normal, 2. The third chromosome is artificial. It is the location of the x-gene. This allows for the victim to be invisible to Cerebra, the x-men’s mutant detecting machine. The Beast also figures out that the people involved must be of the 198 mutants that previously lost their powers. They seem unaware about the new mutant baby born. He classes them as triploids and volunteers to stay behind in order to conduct further investigation.

As they head out to find the killer, Wolverine and Cyclops explain to Hisako that Chaparanga Beach is where ships “go to die”. The abundant rate of alien ships that are discarded on earth are troublesome as not all governments want and/or have the means to break them apart, as their toxic levels can be quite outrageous. Hence, private companies strip them of useful parts and send the remains to Chaparanga Beach, here the locals salvage the metals and sell them back to their government and any other company that will make the purchase.
Comments:

I must say that it is quite satisfactory to experience the new role that the X-seem to fulfill in San Francisco. As a matter of fact, having them work with special investigation unit authorities puts a different spin than the usual heroic activities. In this set-up issue, Ellis provides a nice understanding of the scenery as he ends off explaining, through Hisako, where Chaparanga Beach is and what it is used for.
In contrast though, his characterizations were really off for some of the X-Men. How so? Well… Wolverine does not typically get drunk, especially with his healing factor. Cyclops just seemed plain off. And, Storm has a strong personality and being passive with the White Queen simply bugged me, as it is not her typical self. In all fairness though, this is only the first issue so we have to wait and see how it all plays out.

Artistically it was good. The last time I saw Simone Bianchi’s artwork was on Wolverine, most of which was paneling of scenes. It was definitely a let down then. In Astonishing, Simone Bianchi improved. His characters, with the exception of Storm whom he evidently struggled with, are more refined. The flow of his paneling has also gotten better, although it still overlaps more then it should. I can’t wait to see his handling of the action scenes. They make or break him.

All in all, a great, entertaining and interesting issue. Let’s just home we don’t get the typical delays Ellis is prone to. The new direction in which the X-Men franchise is heading presently would definitely benefit from a monthly Astonishing title.

Story: 8.5/10
Art: 8/10

The conclusion to Tomasi’s first arc opens with an underwater Nightwing as he makes his way to The Hammer Armory in search of Creighton. Meanwhile Talia is already there, demanding to know if Dr. Kendall has created her legion yet to protect her and her son from Talia’s father. When she finds out what lengths Kendall has gone to for her super-army, she is repulsed and orders the operation to be shut down – Dr. Kendall has other plans, however.

Enter Nightwing, who grudgingly saves Talia before discovering that Creighton has taken the only baby to survive the rapid aging process, and plans to whisk it away. The showdown commences and suffice to say that Creighton is defeated, the baby is returned to The Mother of Champions, and Nightwing pays a trip to his other mentor, Superman, for a discussion on exactly what has transpired and how it will change the way their dead heroes are treated.
Comments:

Now this is the way a good comic should be written! It’s about bloody time that somebody pulled Nightwing out of the creative slump it had been in for the last few years. Oh Marv, I had hoped it would be you, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

Tomasi is right on target with Dick. Our hero is once again the young man that was trained by the best of the best. The self-pity and emo moments are all but gone, and what we see now is the confident and independent Richard Grayson that fans have been clamoring for, for years. Kramer’s penciling is sharp and fitting for this book, with Florea and Eyring adding beautiful inks and colors, respectively.

If I had one little gripe, it would have to be the way Nightwing takes out his antagonist. I see where it was going, but I’m sorry, not even my main man can predict exactly when a lightning bolt is going to strike. However, that is small potatoes when compared to the wonderment that the title has now become.

I can’t help but wonder, also, as Nightwing and Superman discuss the situation and where it has placed the government, that perhaps Tomasi is including shades of “The Blackest Night” into this arc. If this [i]is[/] what he’s doing, then an extra point for some wonderful foreshadowing. Let’s hope that this creative team is allowed to stay on this book for a very long time. If they are, this could well be the renaissance of Nightwing.
My Score: 8/10

If you had told the average person, before the season started, that the Rays (sans “Devil”) would be the best team in baseball by the end of June, they would probably think you were insane. After all, this is a team that has never had a winning season since the franchise was born in 1998 and has finished in last place in the American League East every year with the exception of 2004. Their payroll is miniscule (roughly $43 million) compared to the beasts of the East, Boston ($133 million) and New York ($207 million), and there are no clearly defined super-star players (although you might be able to make a case for Carl Crawford). Yet somehow this team has managed to become the best team in all of baseball.

It all starts with pitching. The trio of Scott Kazmir, James Shields and Matt Garza are as good or better than any top three in baseball. And even more surprising, their salaries combined are roughly $5 million. Shocking, considering their combined salary is a mere fraction of such big names in their division as Andy Pettitte and Josh Beckett. And rounding out that starting rotation are other players coming into their own like Edwin Jackson and Andy Sonnanstine who give decent production for back of the rotation starters.

Then there’s the youth in the lineup. Young players like Carlos Pena, Akinori Iwamura, B.J. Upton and Dioner Navarro give the team a spark of energy while veterans like Cliff Floyd, Eric Hinske and Carl Crawford provide the leadership and experience. It’s a recipe for success. And not a single one of them makes more than $6 million a season, a far cry from other contracts in their division like Alex Rodriguez’s nearly $30 million per season. And considering the youth and affordability of the team, they should be able to remain competitive for years to come.

It’s a bit early to be sizing them up for World Series rings and some people are still waiting for them to come back down to earth at some point, but it’s impossible to deny that the Tampa Bay Rays are the next baseball powerhouse……something that’s lead to a great deal of friction between the Rays and the Boston Red Sox, resulting in brawls and threats between players.

After sweeping the Colorado Rockies in the 2007 World Series and keeping the vast majority of the team intact, it looked like the Red Sox were going to run away with the AL East in 2008 and possibly be the first team to repeat a World Championship since the 1998-2000 New York Yankees won 3 in a row. But injuries and age have taken their toll on the Red Sox so far this season, slowing them down just enough for the Rays to nudge out ahead of them.

And the New York Yankees, perennial contenders, are a third place team at the moment after suffering injuries to key players and having their rookie pitchers fail to live up to expectations, with the exception of Joba Chamberlain. Even superstars like Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada have spent time on the Disabled List, leaving the Yankees in a position where they need to play “catch up” once again.

All of this has been a window of opportunity for an emerging team like the Rays who have, so far, managed to avoid any serious injuries that could impact the team. However, we’re only at the half-way point in the season and you can never count out teams like the Red Sox and Yankees who have shown resilience in the past and you have to wonder if perhaps the at some point the young Rays starters will burn themselves out. It should make the AL East one of the most exciting divisions in baseball for the remainder of 2008.

Writer: Ed Brubaker
Artists: Ben Oliver & Mike Choi

The latest issue of X-Men: Divided features Cyclops and the White Queen preparing to face their teammates in the recently transformed 60’s era of San Francisco. Interestingly, Emma (the White Queen) breaks through the psychic barrier to discover that the weaken and battered Martinique Wyngarde (Mastermind), along with 3 former hippies manipulating her, is the source behind the transformations. They are reliving the past. In response to this discovery, Emma directs Cyclops to blast the building next to him, the hiding place of Mastermind. A stunned Mastermind escapes. As a result, the people behind this scheme get lectured about what they have done wrong.

Meanwhile, Nightcrawler, Colossus and Wolverine continue to fight Omega Red in the Red Room located in Russia. Nightcrawler finishes the fight by teleporting Omega Red high above them, dropping him through the building, and rendering him unconscious. Cyclops calls Wolverine, requesting all of them to return home.

In the Epilogue, Mastermind does not know how she escaped to another part of the city. Here she is approached by a shadowy female figure, who informs her that she saved her so she can join the sisterhood to prepare for the arrival of the X-Men.

Comments:

This is a decent issue. It definitely serves as a filler arc before the big changes next month. Ed Brubaker did well by giving us a straightforward plot, while setting up the X-Men to operate out of San Francisco. Further, Omega Red was quite enjoyable and definitely more frightening than the 90’s version. Yet, the plot was developed rather abruptly, specifically seen with the mayor shoe horned into the story in order to give X-Men a reason to move to San Francisco. Yet it must be said that Ed Brubaker has improved a lot since his initial run. And it is inevitable that the addition of Matt Fraction will only help Ed Brubaker get better, a la Iron Fist.

The art was interesting, as Ben Oliver did the San Francisco storyline, while Mike Choi handled the Russian. This was the first time I’ve seen Ben Oliver’s style since he was introduced, and although it fit the tone, it seemed a little disjointed when side by side with Mike Choi’s scenes. Speaking of which, as per usual Mike Choi did lovely artwork, but it would have been nice to see him try to match the bright and colorful San Francisco. Unless of course the artists were trying to emphasize the vivid stereotypes of the two countries involved, United States – bright, rich, colorful, and Russia – dark and gloomy. If that’s the case it was cleverly done so.

Story: 7/10
Art: 7.5/10
 

Writer: Mike Carey
Artist: Scott Eaton

Charles Xavier is in the mindscape with Mr. Sinister, as Sinister reveals that he has added himself to Charles’ DNA. Gambit, who was under attack, is assisted by Sebastian Shaw and is warned that he is on an assassination list with Charles Xavier, Cain Marko and Carter Ryking. After they dispose of the assassins, Shaw informs Gambit that Sinister has encoded his DNA, with the Cronus Device, in all of the people on the list when they were children. Sinister’s DNA cycles through in each of them, reawakening to take over when the time is right.

Professor Xavier is targeted by the same group of assassins, when approached he “suggests” they take him in alive. He then is brought to Amanda Mueller, the first mutant to inspire Mr. Sinister to encode his DNA in other mutants. She informs Xavier that she has modified the Cronus Device in order to receive Sinister’s Powers, but without his consciousness. She then shoots Professor Xavier in order to prevent Mr. Sinister from taking over his body.

As a dying Professor Xavier ponders whether or not to let Mr. Sinister persuade him to take over his body and save his life, Gambit and Sebastian Shaw track him down to where he is being held. As Gambit comes to his aid they see Professor X stand up and reveal a diamond on his forehead and glowing red eyes. Mr. Sinister is in control of his body.

Comments:

I enjoy this title, as it caters to the long time x-fans. With the storylines delving into the past, uncovering the different aspects of Professor Xavier, having Sinister taunt him about how he’s become short tempered with the X-men, and so on, it proves to be an interesting plot to follow. Further, it also breaks away from the traditional team book and focuses on one character, set usually absent from the other two titles. A great, strong issue. I just can’t wait to see where all this leads to.

Scott Eaton’s art proves to once again be well received, especially the scenes in the mindscape, which have that color-washed appearance. With a story with a lot of flashbacks, as seen here, the layouts have potential to be confusing, yet Scott Eaton does a fantastic job making the art work flow from panel to panel. This allows the reader to easily follow the plot. Scott Eaton is sadly one of the most underrated artists. He makes basic, simplistic, yet extraordinary art. He always proves to be a great benefit to whatever title he is on. This title is definitely a job well done.

Story: 8/10
Art: 8/10

The buzzword for this year’s NBA draft was ‘quality’. Because of the lack of superstar talent outside the very top and the abundance of undeveloped quantities elsewhere, teams were forced to minimize risk and avoid drafting strictly on potential. It was a welcome change from recent years. Team needs were met. Potential trade bait was acquired. The results were just short of spectacular for a few franchises, extremely satisfying for most, and only disappointing for those clubs whose negatives outweighed anything the draft could neutralize anyway.

Surprising absolutely no one, the Chicago Bulls used the first pick to select Derrick Rose, the homegrown kid whose singular talent led a Memphis Tigers team to the most wins in NCAA Basketball history. A physically powerful and awesomely athletic point guard, he’s an immediate upgrade over Kirk Heinrich and Chris Duhon and should provide the Bulls with the same explosive dynamic found in fellow PG Deron Williams of the Jazz.

While there is no doubt of Rose’s skill and potential, an equally strong case could’ve been made for the Bulls selecting Kansas State’s Michael Beasley. Beasley was a monster in college, averaging 26 ppg while leading the nation in rebounds and providing the deft inside scoring Chicago has coveted for years. Only an adequate height for an NBA power forward, Beasley makes up for his shortcomings with long arms, a quick jump and release, and offensive guile rarely found in players his age. His selection by the Heat provides another offensive option to go with All-Stars Dwayne Wade and Shawn Marion. Expect the Heat to be vastly improved and for Beasley to be a leading Rookie of the Year candidate.

Although the draft lacked many major surprises, the first moments of intrigue took place in the next few slots with the Timberwolves’ selection of USC guard OJ Mayo, the Supersonics’ selection of UCLA’s Russell Westbrook, and the Grizzlies’ selection of UCLA’s Kevin Love. Following the draft, Mayo and Love switched teams as part of a eight player megatrade, and both players should be better off because of it. Mayo is a mature, intense combo-guard who will get plenty of opportunity to showcase his skills on a depleted Grizzlies roster. Love is a player made for the NBA high post, and should be an excellent complement to teammate Al Jefferson’s rugged inside game. Westbrook was a clear reach at number five, as he is neither a true PG nor an offensive or defensive upgrade over current Sonics PGs Earl Watson and Luke Ridnour. He’ll have to make a living off of the constant attention defenses throw at Kevin Durant.

New York Knicks pick Danilo Gallinari received the requisite amount of boos from the New York crowd but seemed too culturally oblivious to care. He’s projected as effort player with decent skills and limited lateral mobility, a questionable combination of features to have under the intense New York level of scrutiny. Seemingly always in possession of high draft picks, the Clippers selected Eric Gordon of Indiana. A terrific, if undersized, offensive player, Gordon might end up being another bad pick for the Clips due to his poor PG skills and mediocre defense.

The Bucks’ selection of uber-talented West Virginia forward Joe Alexander would’ve seemed much smarter if not for their recent acquisition of Richard Jefferson. Michael Jordan continued to cement his reputation as a mediocre team manager by selecting miniature PG DJ Augustin of Texas for a Bobcats team that already has a recent lottery pick in Raymond Felton. The New Jersey Nets furthered their strong rebuilding efforts by taking the best center of the draft, Stanford’s Brook Lopez. The same can be said of Pacers’ rebuilding mission with the selection of multi-talented shooter Jerryd Bayless of Arizona. He’ll team with newly acquired TJ Ford to give the Pacers one of the most exciting backcourts in the league.

The first true shocker of the night came with the Kings’ selection of Rider big-man Jason Thompson. A spectacularly built specimen, he failed to put up big numbers on a small-school team in a mediocre conference. Thompson’s early selection speaks volumes for the Kings evaluation of last years’ pick, center Spencer Hawes.

New Trailblazer Brandon Rush should fit in perfectly with the mesh of young, athletic, high-character talent that currently resides in Portland. With the next pick, Golden State selected LSU’s Anthony Randolph, another in a long line of long, springy LSU forwards and another in a long line of Golden State forwards who’ll ride the pine until Coach Don Nelson finally deems him necessary. The Suns selected Stanford’s Robin Lopez, where his floppy mane and reckless nature is sure to inspire a huge fan following.

After the Sixers’ selection of Florida’s Mareese Speights, Toronto selected Georgetown’s Roy Hibbert and subsequently sent him to the Indiana Pacers, where he’ll replace Jermaine O’Neal in the middle. The Wizards committed a head-scratcher with the selection of Nevada’s JaVale McGee, another physically dominating center with ridiculously small numbers. The Cavs’ mission to stave off Lebron James’ exodus lead them to North Carolina State’s JJ Hickson, a tough athlete with impressive skills but a questionable work ethic that might not sit well with the King of Cleveland. Michael Jordan’s second first-round pick turns into unknown international quantity Alexis Ajinca, who won’t be able to help the Bobcats anytime soon.

Further along in the first round, the Jazz selected Kosta Koufos, an underrated Ohio State product who should fit perfectly with Jerry Sloan’s high post-low post, pick-and-roll offense. Portland bought the right to Hornets’ pick Darrell Arthur, whose stock plummeted due to a previous kidney problem. If his health problems are a thing of the past, the Blazers get a lottery talent for second-round cash. The Pistons traded the right to Indiana bruiser DJ White for super-talented but batshit-crazy Walter Sharpe. The narcoleptic Sharpe could end up being the sleeper of the draft or team with Rasheed Wallace in the craziest comedy duo since Perfect Strangers.

Notable happenings in the second round included Memphis’ Chris Douglas-Roberts slipping to New Jersey and Kansas’s Mario Chalmers and UCLA’s Luke Mbah a Moute ending up in Miami. All three are smart, mature players who should immediately find themselves on the court for teams that suddenly look a lot better than last year. Georgetown’s Patrick Ewing Jr. should find a place on the King’s roster due to his superior athleticism and admirable defensive effort. For once, luck broke the Clippers’ way as lottery-talent DeAndre Johnson of Texas fell into their lap.

All in all, this year’s version of the NBA draft proved to be an exercise in efficiency. Clear winners were the Heat, Nets, Blazers, and Bulls. Only the Kings, Wizards, and Bobcats seemed to draft haphazardly, while the Mavs, Hawks, and Lakers drafted few if any players due to trades that have impacted them more than any potential pick could. Every other team had a wealth of talent to choose from in their respective positions and most took advantage. This was the year quality took precedence over potential, and the NBA is destined to be better off because of it.

Comments:
This is decompression at its finest, folks. Every issue up until this point has had its own little tent pole: #1 is intro and secondary characters, #2 is Red Hulk, #3 is A-Bomb, #4 is Hulk fight, and it seems #5 is Thor fight and #6 is Hulk fight redux. This is going at a pretty slow pace made more painfully obvious by the title’s erratic publishing schedule. Thankfully they revealed the identity of the Red Hulk this issue. I don’t think I could have waited much longer in limbo on that information; hopefully it is not a red herring. I think the idea of an arch-villain Red Hulk is fresh and interesting and I am enjoying myself witnessing Red Hulk’s path of destruction. The main issues I have are the regression of the Hulk character, and the obviously juvenile dialogue, which as I will explain, might not be issues at all.The art so far is simply gorgeous. I have always loved Ed McGuiness art. Nothing has changed about that. And then you have Ed McGuiness drawing my favorite character? I am in heaven! At first I was apprehensive over the plethora of double-page action shots, but in retrospect, the double-page action shots may be appropriate for a title like Hulk whose primary focus is on action, fun, and not a lot of deep thinking.

As for the regression of the Hulk, it is simply a matter of a big wig like Loeb coming to a well-known character(s) and doing whatever he wants and continuity and others be damned. This really does aggravate me. It is not that I am opposed to the dumb Hulk, which the Hulk of this issue obviously is, but it is just the idea of regression I am opposed to. Either convincingly explain the regression or you should have never committed to the idea of Planet Hulk and WWH to begin with. Going back to the idea of “other writers be damned” Loeb should explain how Thor got wind of this altercation between Hulks. Maybe it’s just a pet-peeve of mine, but I prefer tight plotting. Should a title like Hulk even have tight plotting, though? I am not entirely sure, maybe I am wrong here. I mean if you have to go and explain everything the title no longer becomes action-packed and fun, and instead becomes another Iron Man: DoS where more time is spent talking than doing.

Lastly, the other critique is the juvenile dialogue, but again is that something that shouldn’t be far from a Hulk comic? Maybe Loeb has this thing totally nailed down and it is just readers like me that need to take some time to get acclimated to the way things should be after the more thoughtful Hulk of previous arcs. Maybe my feelings will coalesce in a couple of issue, until then I cannot give you more definitive answers except to say that this series is action-packed, beautiful, and a whole lot of fun to read.

Story: 7
Art: 10

Most predictably on the chopping block were the heads of the Seattle Mariners’ Manger, John McLaren, and the General Manager, Bill Bavasi. Prior to the start of this season, many people believed the Seattle Mariners were a serious contender this year for the American League West, after showing such promise by barely missing the Wild Card in 2007 and acquiring Baltimore Orioles ace, Eric Bedard in an off-season trade. For the first time in about a decade, the fans of Seattle were looking forward to a summer of Mariners baseball. Unfortunately for them, it hasn’t worked out that way. In fact, they’ve been one of the worst teams in baseball.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure heads would roll in Seattle. So last week the Mariners decided it was time to let McLaren and Bavasi go. One can’t help but wonder if Ichiro Suzuki regrets extending his contract.

Another team that’s failed to live up to expectations is the Toronto Blue Jays. This was yet another team that was expected to be a major contender. With a pitching staff that includes A.J. Burnett, 2003 Cy Young winner Roy Halladay, and key acquisitions of Scott Rolen and David Eckstein, the Blue Jays were expected to be major players in the American League East, rivaling the Yankees and Red Sox. But, of course, the American League East has been a crazy division with the Yankees spending a good portion of the season in the basement and the Tampa Bay “Don’t call us Devil” Rays actually leading the division for a significant portion of the season (which I believe is a sign of the coming apocalypse). Somewhere along the line, the Blue Jays just stuttered and then collapsed.

Blue Jays GM, J.P. Ricciardi was left with the task of firing the Blue Jays manager, John Gibbons, who coincidentally was one of his closest friends. Then for an encore, Ricciardi went on the radio and personally ripped into Cincinnati Reds outfielder Adam Dunn for basically no reason at all. What a week! Gibbons has been replaced by Cito Gaston who led the Blue Jays to World Championships in 1992 and 1993.

And then comes the big one. With the way the New York Mets had been playing, you had to figure that somebody was going to get fired. This was a team that was supposed to run away with a World Championship in 2007 and then suffered one of the worst collapses in baseball history. One wonders if the Baseball Gods were punishing the Mets for their hubris with their cheesy “Our Team, Our Time” song that was practically getting the polish ready for their World Series rings. Then the Mets went out and acquired Minnesota Twins ace, and two-time Cy Young winner Johan Santana. This was the move that was supposed to push the Mets to the top. Once again, the Mets were supposed to run away with it all this year…….and they’ve fallen apart. It was time for somebody to get the axe in Flushing.

To say the Mets could have handled the firing of Manager Willie Randolph better would be like saying the Titanic had a leak. For a while, rumors of his immanent firing circulated, but then were dismissed by GM Omar Minaya. But a few weeks later, when rumors began to circulate again, it became pretty clear that somebody in the Mets’ front office *coughthewilponscough* wanted Randolph gone. So rather than handling it quickly and respectfully, the Mets decided to fly him our to California, wait until the team won a game and then wake him up in the middle of the night to tell him he’s fired. But on the plus side, at least they covered the expenses for his hotel room. Along with Randolph, Pitching Coach Rick Peterson and First Base Coach Tom Nieto were fired. Replacing Randolph is Jerry Manuel. Shockingly, Omar Minaya still has a job……….for now.

“X-it Strategy”
Writer: Peter David
Artist: Valentine De Landro

Previously, the X-Factor team was targeted for assassination by a former member of the Purifiers with the hired help of Arcade. Although X-Factor survived most parts of Mutant Town did not. Now, Val Cooper has brought her O*N*E counterparts to help with damage control.

Synopsis:
With Mutant town in chaos, X-Factor is spread out amongst mutant town doing what they can to help the wounded. Jamie Madrox (the multiple man) tends to an elderly man, Nathan Patrofsky, who he finds out was in the concentration camps and discusses the similarities they share.

Val Cooper arrives, much to the dismay of Jamie, with help and primarily to meet with X-Factor back at there office to discuss their future interests. Annoyed with Val, Jamie discusses with Layla Miller (a figment of his imagination) how she would know what there interests would be since she’s not a mutant and then heads off.

When they arrived, they found the team exhausted. Val tells them that because of the anti-mutant hostility that they have twenty four hours to choose one of the following options: 1) Split the team up and put them in a witness protection program or 2) Have them work for the O*N*E, with neither option appealing to them.

Jamie goes back to the hospital to check on Nathan Petrofsky who he finds died upon arriving the night before. After stepping outside, “Layla” shows up again to make him realize everything that’s going on around him is something he knew deep inside him and is the reason why he sympathized with Nathan and that he already knows Theresa (Siryn) is pregnant with his child.

As X-Factor arrives at the hospital, Jamie asks Theresa if they could name their child Nathan much to everybody’s surprise about him know and that she’s pregnant. Everybody leaves feeling more like a team and knowing where they’re heading.

Val Cooper arrives back at X-Factors headquarters to find a recording of Jamie declining any of the offers and to not follow them giving her warning to leave the building before it blows up in 30 seconds.

In Detroit, a very pregnant Theresa opens the door to a young girl looking for help at X-Factor’s new headquarters. Guido is told to call Jamie for their next case. Jamie at a near by restaurant gets word about the new client. As he is about to leave, Val Cooper arrives and informs him that she found out that he owned the building he blew up and even had clearance for demolition in order to make a statement to his team and scare her off which didn’t work. She ends off by whispering in his ear that this will be the start of a beautiful relationship.

Comments:
This issue was basically re-establishing the team and having them go into hiding after losing 2 members rather quickly and the disbanding of the X-men. It was a quick read and nothing much really goes on except for the obvious decision that X-Factor had to make.

Peter David’s dialogue is still strong and witty while the fill in artwork by Valentine De Landro is quite impressive. This title seems lucky when it comes to the art department.

This is a title that’s been consistent with each issue and I expect it to continue, highly recommended.

RANK: 4/5

Writer: Mark Millar
Artist: Steve McNiven

Review by Shady

Mark Millar returns along with Steve McNiven to Wolverine to tell their own rendition of a bleak future where all the heroes are inactive, our hero has lost his way and is forced to make ends meet.

Synopsis:
The story starts off with a beaten Wolverine walking off as our narrator informs of “The Night the Heroes Fell”, disappearing and evil taking over. Wolverine was apparently hurt more than just a physically state to the point that he does not raise a hand, voice or uses his claws.

We go forward 50 years into a barren future where The Hulk Gang (Bruce Banner’s grand children) rule the west coast and where Logan resides with his wife, Maureen and their two children, Scott and Jade. A disheartened Logan struggles to make ends meet with rent, unable to sell his livestock, refusing to sell his children’s toys and all the while trying to escape rumors about his former life.

Two days have passed and with no money to pay rent Scott prepares his shotgun incase of trouble to which Logan tells him to put it away and to stop swearing. The Hulk Gang (A female with an infant and her 2 brothers) arrives in the Fantastic-car knowing Logan doesn’t have the rent. With the male siblings taunting, Logan imagines extending his claws and ripping through the bigger Hulk only snapping back to reality and taking his beating as punishment. Scott raises his shotgun to stop the violence to which the Hulk gang back off warning them next time everybody dies.

That night, a blind Hawkeye comes to visit Logan. Clint also offers him a job to get out of his financial debt, which is delivering a package to the east coast within two weeks for $500, to which Logan agrees. They both head out the next morning on the Spider-mobile.

Side Note: There is a splash page with a map of the United States and areas of the country being renamed: Hulkland, The Kingdom of Kingpin, Dooms Lair and The Presidents Quarters being the dominant ones.

Comments:
Although the pacing was a bit slow and there were things that seemed to contradict in terms of how they vaguely explained what happened during “the night the heroes fell” I enjoyed Millar’s characterization of all the character, especially Wolverine. I understand that it’ll pick up in the next coming issue and that hopefully that this future world will be more fleshed out as we get more into the story.

McNiven’s art really flourishes with the amount of detail he puts into the scenery and must say that it’s improved since Civil War. This would be the main hook for me to come back for the next issue.

Rank: 4/5

Writer: Tom Peyer
Artist: Freddie E. Williams II

Fast Money Part Four: Flash Mob

SPOILERS - SPOILERS - SPOILERS

This series keeps getting better and better. It hasn’t been that difficult to do given the last year’s worth of Flash stories, but as each month passes it will become more difficult to do if things keep going as they are. This series has snowballed in quality. More…

The best part of the series so far is that things are really happening and the stuff that is happening matters. The series does not feel like it is spinning its wheels and all the characters are meshing well and beginning to gel. The kids are becoming less and less annoying and are growing their own voice.

The issue opens to a paralyzed Wally West (The Flash) contemplating his fate next to the, also paralyzed, “Elder Flash”, Jay Garrick. Gorilla Grodd has gained the upper hand and his intentions become clear: Nzame is missing and Grodd is looking for him. Grodd forces the Flashes to submit to favors while under duress. Wally must find the Ape-Child and return him to Grodd, while Jay must perform an unknown future task that Grodd promises Jay will hate. With that out of the way, Grodd turns his attention to Spin and we discover his origins: he was a reporter who discovered the tiny sickly person whom has been causing the spread of fear.

Meanwhile, our Flash kids are still held prisoner by the Dark Side Club thugs. Only, Iris has aged and gained new powers, ones to mimic her father, and she uses them to escape with her distraught brother. Jai is worried what this transformation means for their future. After the fight, the kids run off to help their father, distracting Grodd enough for the Flashes to escape, only to see Grodd disappear. Wally is understandably worried as well about Iris’s transformation, but knowing how a parent’s mind and a child’s mind differ he tries to show how proud he is despite his fears.

Afterwards, Wally is alerted to the Flash museum where a mob is forming due to all the chaos caused by Spin and his decrepit discovery. Unfortunately, as a result of all this mayhem the Flash Museum caught fire and while the Flash kids perform damage control and build a wall to block out the angry mob, Wally is forced to rush in and save Inertia, who he had imprisoned there several issues ago.

By issue’s end Iris transforms yet again, this time into a full-fledged woman with all the trimmings…

Freddie yet again provides the audience with a well-drawn issue, which complements The Flash incredibly. Also, the inclusion of the one-page summary and character introduction has been a very welcome addition to the series thus far.

Next Issue: Wally (The Flash) must make good on his obligation and find Nzame, The Sacred Ape-Child and return him to Grodd.

Rating: A

It contained everything a good comic needs: great art, a good plot, and fantastic characterization. Not a single complaint from me…now THAT is a complement.

Starlord asks “Question: OMD, do you think it’s more for story purposes, or a personal vendetta by Joe Q?”

Well, Starlord, The Lord of the Monkeys thinks that it is more story purposes. Q may have personal feelings on this issue, but I don’t believe his employers would have allowed the change were it not leading somewhere. And where is it leading? To the MASSIVE sales in a year and a half when Pete and MJ get back together.

Forbush Man wants to know, “Is Rorschach gay?”

Oh, my, no. Have you LOOKED at that outfit he wears? Ugh. There isn’t a gay man alive who would be caught dead in that.

Forbush Man again asks, “How many times has Aunt May been dead?”

Just once, my son. The real Aunt May passed away quietly in 1972. Peter Parker, scared of being alone, has employed a succession of actresses to stand in for her ever since. Little known fact: Between 1984 and 1988, the role was played by Jessica Tandy.

Forbush Man (Man, he’s inquisitive!) wonders, “Is Wonder Woman a virgin?”

No. Wondy gave it up in college to a guy in the Tri Lam fraternity, a man who later became a lawyer. His name was Dudley Dawson.

Forbush Man (I think I have a stalker!) asks “How many one-night stands has She-Hulk had?”

Nine. Ben Grimm, Ben Reilly, Wyatt Wingfoot, Wolverine, The Juggernaut, D-Man, Hawkeye, Starfox, and Jessica Jones, back in college.

(By the way, I’m fairly sure four of those are true, with possibly another two being true also…)

Twigglet asks “What’s the deal with Miracleman?”

Whatever he wants it to be, which is usually “Five card draw, One Eyed Jacks wild”.

Oh, you meant the story behind him? Think of Shazam…. If Shazam’s origin were a nice happy bit of brainwashing. Instead of a wizard, he actually says his magic word and his body trades place with a scientifically created, thanks to alien science, Man-God. Oh, and he’s forgotten his word, and only remembers it many years later.

Keb asks “Why is the medium so dominated by superhero stories?”

Iron Man has made what, half a billion dollars? Hulk rules the Box Office? Hell, most of the biggest openings of all movie history nowadays are superhero movies. On top of that… despite what the independent publishers wish…. The reason that superheroes dominate the comic medium is because THEY are what SELLS. Like it or not, the market gives the public what the public demands.

Twigglet inquires, “I never properly got the origin of Thor, in the Essentials I got, Donald Blake the normal human finds Odin and turns into Thor, but Thor has been around thousands of years to that, wassup with that?”

Simple. Yes, Thor has existed for thousands of years. But, some time ago, Odin decided Thor was an arrogant bitch. Hence, he forced him to live life as a mortal. Thus was Don Blake born, and raised. Throughout Blake’s childhood, there was no Thor, because he was entrapped in Blake’s form. Once Blake found the walking stick, and used it, Thor returned. Thus… Blake himself was a prison Odin constructed for Thor.

Hawk wonders “What does Batman have on the Bat-Pod?”

“Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me” by U2, “Party Man” by Prince, and 62 different covers of “The Batusi”.

That same Hawk asks us what could be the dumbest question we’ve ever fielded in this column: “Should Giganta’s origin go back to her being a mutated gorilla?”

EVERYONE’S origin should involve mutated apes.

Finally, Hawk demands, “Does this look infected?”

Sweet jumping Kong, what have I told you about sending me pictures? Once more, and I make with the mace!!!
And that should do it for this installment! Thanks to all our contributors, especially to Forbush for his devotion! We’ll do this again soon, and until then, Go With Kong, my children!

Some of you may be wondering what the Venture Brothers are. In response to that I say that The Venture Brothers is the awesomest, kick-ass, cock smashing, hooker punchingist show ever to be seen. I also might say that it is a show about a successful boy adventurer, Dr.Venture, who, as age caught up with him, turned into a failed scientist/drug addict; his two boys, Hank and Dean, who are failed boy adventurers - hopelessly naïve oafs who often need to be rescued by the final member of the Venture family, Brock Sampson, who is Jack Bauer and James Bond combined on steroids - taking out many henchman with his trust knife and then having his way with the ladies. The Venture family often comes into conflict with many failed villains such as the Monarch who was raised by monarch butterflies and for an unknown reason plots revenge on Dr.Venture and his wife Dr.Girlfriend who has a body as beautiful as Farrah Fawcett’s and a voice like Laurence Tierney’s.WARNING, here there be SPOILERS. In the first season of the Venture Brothers , the boy adventurers are thrust into several amazing situations such as being stuck in a haunted space station, mind controlled by an evil amusement park head, being chased by the ghost of a David Bowie character, and testicular cancer. The first season then ends with the Monarch being thrown into jail as part of a plot by fellow villain the Phantom Limb, Dr.Venture finding out he has a twin brother, and the boys end up….dead???

The second season begins with the reveal that the boys have been clones all along and this is far from the first time they have died. Dr.Venture promptly re-clones them and for a while everything returns to what passes for normal. Meanwhile, the Monarch manages to escape from prison and vows revenge on Phantom Limb for stealing his girlfriend from him, and vows to win her back. The Monarch is finally able to win Dr.GirlFriend back with the help of Henry Killinger who shows them that they are truly in love. The Monarch and Dr.Girlfriend then agree to get married provided he no longer goes after Dr.Venture. The Monarch agrees but his Henchman, unaware of this new development, ends up capturing the Venture family, forcing the Monarch to invite them to his wedding. At the wedding all proceeds as normal until Phantom Limb arrives with a series of attack choppers to win his girlfriend back and to usurp the leadership of the supervillian union, The Guild of Calamitous Intent, from the now revealed current leader David Bowie. This results in an all out Battle Royale with the Monarch and the Venture Family working together where they eventually drive back Phantom Limb(causing him to lose his leg and a certain other male “part”), David Bowie retaining his leader ship of The Guild of Calamitous Intent and The Monarch getting hitched. As for the Venture family they returned to base and resumed live as normal.

Season three of the Venture Brothers premiered on June 1, 2008 on adult swim, and airs every Sunday night at 11:30 P.M. EST.