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Who Would You Rather 4?

Written by Frag It

I know I know. I've been gone for about 7 months. Bite me.

Today's edition of Who Would You Rather? focuses on the girls of the WB. Let's not waste any time.

From left: Leighton Meester, Jessica Szohr, Taylor Momsen and Blake Lively

Gossip Girl

For a lot of people, these girls should win this. But for me, most of these girls are underwhelming. Blake Lively has an amazing body and I think she's allergic to bras, but there is something about her face that reminds me of the Sea Hag from Popeye.

Leighton Meester is ok, but just has a boring look. Taylor Momsen is 16 and from photos is made up to look like a Raggedy Ann doll so go get your pedophile fix somewhere else. Jessica Szohr is alright, but nothing to write home about. The Gossip Girl girls are good, but that's about it. At least they aren't as bad as my next entry:

From left: Jessica Stroup, Shenae Grimes, Jessica Lowndes and AnnaLynne McCord

90210

Where to begin with this group? Ok, let me start by saying that Jessica Lowndes is very hot:

Now with that out of the way, this is the photo I considered using for the rest of the cast:

Tori Spelling leads the new 90210 cast members on their first day on set.

Where did they find these girls? Obviously the casting director was not a guy, because not self-respecting straight man would've picked these girls. When I long for the days of Donna Martin graduating because of her looks, then I know there's a problem.

From left: Stephanie Jacobsen, Jessica Lucas, Laura Leighton, Katie Cassidy and Ashlee Simpson

Melrose Place

Laura Leighton is 41 years old. She wasn't hot when the show first started and she's not hot now. Ashlee Simpson has improved, but there was nowhere else for her to go but up. Katie Cassidy and Stephanie Jacobsen have amazing bodies and they are both pretty hot, but there is one girl that stands out and that is Jessica Lucas.

From left: Jessica Lucas and Mrs. Howell

Look at that body. Holy crap! This girl is so fine that she beats the previous two casts almost singlehandedly. Hopefully, Melrose Place gets cancelled soon and she goes on to a great career in something better. Or porn.

From left: Sara Canning, Nina Dobrev, Candice Accola and Kayla Ewell

Vampire Diaries

But our winners are the girls of Vampire Diaries. Firstly, these girls are hot even in their mugshots after getting arrested for flashing motorists from a highway bridge.

All of these girls have amazing bodies and are cute to boot. Nina Dobrev is the star of the show and she has legs that run up to her head. She is gorgeous and in any other world, she would be the hottest girl from her show. But alas, it is not meant to be:

Meet Katerina Graham. And with that, the girls of Vampire Diaries destroy all three other shows combined.

Thoughts?

Not An April Fool's Joke

Written by Frag It

This is old (even older than McFarlane's Haunt), but I hadn't realized how many people hadn't seen this yet. This is Smash, a new comic written by Jeph Loeb (Nooooooooooo) with art by Rob Liefeld (Nooooooooo). Yes, this nightmare team of creators has decided that the world needs more poorly-written comics starring characters with no feet.

I'm not sure which is the worst creator team-up ever, Loeb-Liefeld or Liefeld and director Brett Ratner who are working together on the Youngblood movie.

There's also something else about Smash. He looks vaguely familiar. I don't know, maybe somebody can figure this out. I do have the most creative origin for him.

"Scientist Dirk Danner was an expert in Delta Rays. During one of his experiments, a young boy on a skateboard names Nick Cones a Delta Bomb test that Dr. Danner has initiated. Danner runs out to save the boy, but gets caught in the blast. Now, whenever Dr. Danner gets horny, he turns into the Unbelievable Smash!"

The Yankees Will Win The World Series

Written by Frag It

The New York Yankees will win the World Series and here's why:

1) Better pitching. Last year's rotation had Mike Mussina as the staff ace for most of the year. Andy Pettitte was #2. This year, Pettitte is the fifth starter. Chien-Ming Wang is back from injury and is now a #3 starter. CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett are the top two, and while I am not a big Burnett guy, he is better than Sidney Ponson and all the other crappy guys that pitched last year. Last year's team won 89 games with a weak rotation. I am positive these guys will add a lot of wins.

2) The lineup is still strong. Most of these guys are getting old and injury-prone, but I believe that Jorge Posada and Hideki Matsui still will produce a ton of runs. Adding Mark Texeira at 1B was huge. He will protect A-Rod when he comes back from injury. Derek Jeter can still get his hits. Johnny Damon is still dangerous. Robinson Cano will bounce back. And Melky Cabrera is being replaced by rookie Brett Gardner (who is a terror on the basepaths).

3) The division will be weaker. Manny Ramirez is gone, and while Jason Bay is a good player and teammate, he is no Manny. David Ortiz, Mike Lowell and Jason Varitek are declining at a rapid pace. J.D. Drew is bound to get injured. The Red Sox lineup is not as strong as it once was. I could see them missing the playoffs altogether. As for the Rays, I just don't see them repeating last year's success. Call it a hunch, but things went too perfect for them last year. I don't think they can repeat that performance.

So you heard it here first folks! Place your bets for the Yankees beating the Mets in the 2009 World Series.

Who Would You Rather? 3

Written by Frag It

Girls Next Door Edition

Kendra Wilkinson

Bridget Marquardt

Holly Madison

Let's start this off by getting rid of Bridget right off the bat. She is the oldest, the fattest (by Hollywood and Playboy standards) and the ugliest. At the Playboy Mansion, women like Bridget are usually taken back to the grotto and are Old Yellered.

Now we come down to Kendra and Holly. Kendra is easily hotter and prettier than Holly. She is into sports and plays the tomboy part well. She is probably also a really wild lay. Seems like an open and shut easy win for Kendra doesn't it? Well, no.

Now many of you won't agree with me (and I don't give a shit) but there is something about Holly that gives her the slight edge in my book. She is completely insane. Only a nutjob (or golddigger, but she could be both) would want Hef's 8,000-year-old seed in her. Holly kept talking about wanting to marry Hef and have children with him. This girl is batshit insane, which makes me think that she is all about being freaky in bed (jacuzzi, elevator, airplane). She seems the type that would do "anything" to please her guy and for that, Holly slightly edges out Kendra.

Thoughts?

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