Wednesday, January 17, 2018 • Afternoon Edition • "The CBR of comic book journalism."

The Outhouse - The Greatest Comic Book Forum

Comics news, comic book reviews, feature articles about comics, interviews with comic creators, plus the greatest comic book and pop culture discussion in the Outhouse forums!


Disaster Prep 101: Survival

Hey you! Reader! Want to be a part of the GREATEST COMIC BOOK AND GEEK COMMUNITY on the web?! Well, they're not accepting new members, but we'll take anyone here, so why not sign up for a free acount? It's fast and it's easy, like your mom! Sign up today! Membership spots are limited!*

*Membership spots not really limited!

User avatar


Rain Partier

Postby LOLtron » Mon Oct 29, 2012 9:33 pm

Disaster Prep 101: Survival

How to survive : Tips for surviving the end of the world and various other disasters

Source: CDC


With Frankenstorm and Hurricane Sandy freaking everyone out (and creating a giant influx of storm mocking memes) this Outhouse writer decided that a little preparedness couldn’t hurt.  In fact, I’m going to do you one better and compile a giant help page that you may find useful in a variety of disaster situations.  With no further ado, good luck and god speed.

The Disaster Kit:  For ANY survival situation

I’m just going to link the CDC here because I’m lazy.

And now….. the fun stuff!


1 – Battening down the hatches

2- Snorkel, wet suit, flippers and a boat

3- Mental resolve to ignore the dolphins hitting your window.  It’s the hurricane baiting you.  Don’t take it!


Angry Volcano:

1-      Virgin (male or female, however the females tend to look better in the coconut bikini)

2-      Coconut bikini

3-      Witch Doctor to supervise

4-      Burly native to toss aforementioned virgin into the hot magma

5-      Ability to resist saying ‘don’t touch the lava!’ when throwing the virgin into the lava


Zombies Apocalypse:

1-      Guns, guns and more guns

2-      Ammo

3-      Nerves of steel

4-      Underground shelter with solar power panels above ground

5-      Backup guns and ammo

6-      Hydroponic farm in above mentioned shelter

7-      Valuables to barter


Justin Bieber Concert:

1-      Ear plugs

2-      Monster truck to run over screaming teens as you escape



1-      Ruby slippers

2-      Extended arsenal of super soakers to battle the wicked witch

3-      Just saying no to drugs



1-      Find a group of sumo wrestlers and blend in

2-      Trip at least one wrestler while trying to run away

3-      Use the diversion to find shelter

4-      Summon Mothra, King Kong or Japanese technology to defeat Godzilla

5-      NEVER under any circumstances summon Godzuki


Horror Movie:

1-      Establishing what genre you’re in (if you’re in a spoof, just sit back and say a few witty lines.  You’ll make it into the sequel even if you die)

2-      Adaptability and/or purity.  Only the innocent, clueless and ruthless survive

Power Outage:

1-      If you’re reading this you’ve already learned how to take your phone/iPad/laptop to a someplace with free Wi-Fi. *slow clap*


Air Raid:

1-      Sturdy desk

2-      1950’s innocence

Atomic Bomb:

1-      You’re probably dust, kiss your ass goodbye

2-      If you do survive, you’ll probably grow a second ass, or arm…or leg…


AIRBHG: Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God

1-      Realize AIRBHG will smite your RB no matter what

2-      Having a deep enough RB depth chart

3-      Lots of mental toughness

4-      Understand the fact that just because your RB doesn’t play for Iowa, or isn’t a RB, he’s not safe.  AIRBHG doesn’t discriminate


Taylor Swift break-up song.

1-      Lots of tissue paper

2-      Knowing to count to ten when you have an urge to key your ex's truck

3-      Realize that you might actually be the problem in all these relationships

Written or Contributed by Sarah Sed

User avatar


Outhouse Editor

Postby Zechs » Mon Oct 29, 2012 10:12 pm

I'm a MASTER of these situations. 8)
User avatar


2k11 Outhouse People's Champion

Postby sdsichero » Mon Oct 29, 2012 10:29 pm

It's "Godzooky".

User avatar


Expert Post Whore

Postby covalesky » Tue Oct 30, 2012 3:43 am

Just follow Sheldon.

leave a comment with facebook

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 30 guests