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Teen Sex Scandal Rocks Sesame Street

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LOLtron

Rain Partier

Postby LOLtron » Mon Nov 12, 2012 2:06 pm

Teen Sex Scandal Rocks Sesame Street

Kevin Clash, the puppeteer and voice of Sesame Street's Elmo, has been accused of having a relationship with a sixteen year old boy.



Source: LA Times

November 12, 2012, Sesame Street - Humans and monsters everywhere were outraged Monday morning as news broke of a scandal involving puppeteer Kevin Clash, who has been the voice of the lovably obnoxious Elmo for the past twenty-seven years. Clash has taken a leave of absence from Sesame Street after accusations surfaced that he was involved in an inappropriate sexual relationship with a teenage boy.

The boy, now twenty-three, claims that the relationship began when he was sixteen. Clash, however, insists that the boy was eighteen before any buggery occurred. "Elmo loves his goldfish," said Clash, speaking candidly to The Outhouse. "And legal sex with consenting, overage boys too."

Clash was recently the subject of the documentary film Being Elmo, which was about as popular as a film depicting the life of a person who portrays one of the most obnoxious characters in children's entertainment can be, and which showed Clash in a flattering light. Sesame Street itself has also been in the spotlight lately after the destruction of star Big Bird became one of the talking points of the Mitt Romney presidential campaign.

The Outhouse, attempting to immerse itself in the seedy underbelly of Elmo's World, attempted to "ask a baby" for its thoughts on the scandal, but the baby responded with nothing but gibberish, because babies can't fucking talk. However, we are reasonably certain that Clash did not molest this particular baby, which is a point in his favor.

Sesame Workshop claims to have conducted an investigation, and Workshop investigator and self-proclaimed "world's greatest detective" Sherlock Hemlock claims that the results were elementary and did not implicate Clash in any kind of wrongdoing. We asked Hemlock if this was a real investigation, or the sort of investigation conducted by organizations such as the Catholic Church or the Boy Scouts of America. Shouting "Egad," Hemlock then excused himself, claiming to have just located a clue in a very important case involving the letter X.

The Outhouse will keep readers appraised of the latest developments of this story, which has been brought to you by the number 16 and the letters p, e, d, and o.



Written or Contributed by Jude Terror


READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!
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guitarsmashley

Regular-Sized Poster

Postby guitarsmashley » Mon Nov 12, 2012 3:39 pm

Sorry Jude, this is another sacred cow. Really any case involving possible pedophilia should be better left alone.
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e_galston

Staff Writer

Postby e_galston » Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:01 pm

Yeah i gotta agree with yoni.
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Zechs

Outhouse Editor

Postby Zechs » Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:22 pm

I have to third with what yoni says.
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S.F. Jude Terror

OMCTO

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:37 pm

Ok, fair enough. :lol:
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fieldy snuts

Rain Partier

Postby fieldy snuts » Mon Nov 12, 2012 5:15 pm

Fourthed.
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nietoperz

The Goddamn Bat-min

Postby nietoperz » Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:05 pm

Yes, if there's one thing we've learned over the years it's that pedophilia is bad.
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S.F. Jude Terror

OMCTO

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:08 pm

nietoperz wrote:Yes, if there's one thing we've learned over the years it's that pedophilia is bad.


Yes, those types of threads make me uncomfortable, like Chloe Moretz.
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guitarsmashley

Regular-Sized Poster

Postby guitarsmashley » Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:49 pm

S.F. Jude Terror wrote:
Yes, those types of threads make me uncomfortable, like Chloe Moretz.


Big different of confused feelings and someone actually doing something. Especially since I'm in on/is the joke.
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Punchy

Staff Writer

Postby Punchy » Mon Nov 12, 2012 7:07 pm

16 is legal in the UK and Canada and lots of countries and even some US states, so this is a bit more debatable than other recent child abuse scandals that have been in the media lately.

So I say Jude can joke about this.
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dairydead

Humuhumunukunukuapuaa

Postby dairydead » Mon Nov 12, 2012 7:24 pm

I agree with punchy. This isn't much different than Doug Hutchinson and Courtney Stodden, and people seem to not really care about that. Its kind of weird when homosexuality is involved it becomes something horrible, but when its some washed up Z-lister and some blonde, its a joke.
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avengingtitan

Rain Partier

Postby avengingtitan » Mon Nov 12, 2012 7:38 pm

I heard this story and assumed that the guy was an older white guy. Turns out a older black guy. Man this guy couldnt have waited one more year?
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Keb

<( ' . ' )>

Postby Keb » Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:20 pm

S.F. Jude Terror wrote:
Yes, those types of threads make me uncomfortable, like Chloe Moretz.

Last summer after the Aesop Rock show in Toronto, my friend and I went to this hot dog and ice cream place where he used to work and when we got there this girl who was extremely hot was telling us that Chloe Moretz came in and ordered ice cream then went away. If I had come to that ice cream place 20 minutes earlier, I could have asked Chloe Moretz what she thought of the OH's pedophilia threads but Aesop Rock had to keep performing. If anything bad happens, it's his fault.
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guitarsmashley

Regular-Sized Poster

Postby guitarsmashley » Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:33 pm

dairydead wrote:I agree with punchy. This isn't much different than Doug Hutchinson and Courtney Stodden, and people seem to not really care about that. Its kind of weird when homosexuality is involved it becomes something horrible, but when its some washed up Z-lister and some blonde, its a joke.


Except that one is fact and this is still allegation.
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ThatGuyRoman

dINGO

Postby ThatGuyRoman » Mon Nov 12, 2012 8:44 pm

You mean a guy who spends his whole day with his hand up a furry red monster's backside is untrustworthy?


My entire perception of life is shattered!

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