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The End is Nigh - DC Comics Having "Meetings" Today

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LOLtron

Rain Partier

Postby LOLtron » Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:02 pm

The End is Nigh - DC Comics Having

The beleaguered comics publisher is holding meetings all day, leading many to fear the worst.



Source: Bleeding Cool

Rumor-monger and worry-wort Rich Johnston is reporting, in two separate articles, that DC Comics, a multinational corporation, is having meetings today. As this is something that never occurs in any major corporate entity, ever, we have to assume that something terrible is going on.

Employees were alarmed by the email informing staff that there would be meetings. "Are we expected to start coordinating stuff with one another?" said one staffer. "I thought that sort of thing went out with the New 52."

In order to find our more about what these "meetings" could mean, The Outhouse sent investigative reporter and Outhouse Newsroom anchor ThanosCopter out to interview to business professionals from various industries for their take on what the meetings could mean.

"Meetings... meetings..." said Christopher Hasslehoffer, an investment banker. "Never heard of 'em."

"Meetings?" said Champ Chapperson, a government cog. "The government doesn't believe in meetings. It's clearly spelled out in our 2,378 page government employee manual."

"Meetings are so 20th century," said Jade Cullo, a new age internet specialist. "My company has free-thinking shout sessions in which we thoughtspeak our ideas to the heavens using iPads."

"A Vertigo attack,  deadly meeting weapons?" asked Ben Brau, an IT professional. "Meetings... My god."

There you have it. If ever there was a time to panic, dear readers, it is today. Just yesterday, Karen Berger, beloved head of DC's Vertigo imprint, announced that she would be stepping down from the position and leaving DC Comics, news which boded well for no one, especially Vertigo.

Could these "meetings" signal the end of Vertigo? Could it involve the company closing up shop in New York City and moving to Burbank, California? Could DC be moving out of the comics publishing business entirely in order to focus on producing Watchmen themed kitchen appliances? Could DC have heard that Rich Johnston was planning to run a story about them having meetings, and rushed to schedule a days worth of meetings to discuss it?

Frankly, any of these things are plausible, as far as we're concerned. We'll keep you posted as soon as Johnston's inside source at DC Comics, Rich Johnston in a skirt, blouse, and wig disguised as Geoff Johns' secretary, finds out more and publishes a third article, likely titled DC Meetings Cover Business Strategies and Team Synergy.



Written or Contributed by Jude Terror


READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!
User avatar

habitual

Silly French Man

Postby habitual » Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:11 pm

Is anyone else enjoying Jude's gradual transformation into Jon Stewart as much as I am?

Hab
User avatar

S.F. Jude Terror

OMCTO

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:29 pm

habitual wrote:Is anyone else enjoying Jude's gradual transformation into Jon Stewart as much as I am?

Hab


:x
User avatar

IvCNuB4

Staff Writer

Postby IvCNuB4 » Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:39 pm

Remail calm. ALL IS WELL ! :wink:
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guitarsmashley

Regular-Sized Poster

Postby guitarsmashley » Tue Dec 04, 2012 5:41 pm

habitual wrote:Is anyone else enjoying Jude's gradual transformation into Jon Stewart as much as I am?

Hab


not jewy enough.
User avatar

habitual

Silly French Man

Postby habitual » Tue Dec 04, 2012 5:49 pm

guitarsmashley wrote:
not jewy enough.


If you take public transportation to get to work in SF you're given an honorary menorah.

Hab
User avatar

Lord Simian

The Lord of the Monkeys

Postby Lord Simian » Tue Dec 04, 2012 6:33 pm

guitarsmashley wrote:
not jewy enough.


Yet.

Circumcision is scheduled for Thursday....
User avatar

Zechs

Outhouse Editor

Postby Zechs » Tue Dec 04, 2012 7:28 pm

DC just posted an official video on their PR rep talking about the meeting today to their investors:

[Reveal] Spoiler: Click to Expand
User avatar

GLX

Outhouse Editor

Postby GLX » Tue Dec 04, 2012 7:55 pm

Zechs wrote:DC just posted an official video on their PR rep talking about the meeting today to their investors:

[Reveal] Spoiler: Click to Expand


Fixed.
User avatar

alaska1125

dINGO

Postby alaska1125 » Tue Dec 04, 2012 8:33 pm

For what it's worth, Jamal Igle seems to think something's up...and it sounds like it's not necessarily good.
User avatar

Lord Ice

Motherfucker from Hell

Postby Lord Ice » Tue Dec 04, 2012 8:43 pm

Wave 5: 3 times as many cancellations and no new books. :twisted:
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Zechs

Outhouse Editor

Postby Zechs » Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:56 pm

alaska1125 wrote:For what it's worth, Jamal Igle seems to think something's up...and it sounds like it's not necessarily good.


Link?

Last time I remember DC had "meetings" we got Dick as Batman, two years of arcs planned of what Bat books would be about.
User avatar

alaska1125

dINGO

Postby alaska1125 » Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:30 pm

Zechs wrote:
Link?

Last time I remember DC had "meetings" we got Dick as Batman, two years of arcs planned of what Bat books would be about.


He posted a cryptic comment on Facebook. He does admit to only having heard rumors, but I'd imagine he has a couple of fairly reliable sources. Again, "for what it's worth"...take it with whatever dose of salt grain you find necessary.
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Herald

YOU WILL NEED A NURSE

Postby Herald » Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:44 pm

alaska1125 wrote:For what it's worth, Jamal Igle seems to think something's up...and it sounds like it's not necessarily good.


"Not necessarily good" for Dan and the Gang.
Possibly GREAT for those who disapprove of them. :twisted:
User avatar

alaska1125

dINGO

Postby alaska1125 » Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:05 am

Herald wrote:
"Not necessarily good" for Dan and the Gang.
Possibly GREAT for those who disapprove of them. :twisted:


Possibly bad for some creative types.

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