Advertisement

Michael Rosenbaum, John Krasinski, Isiah Mustafa, Dave Bautista, ThanosCopter, Unemployed Mall Santa, and Your Mom Rumored for Guardians of the Galaxy Role

This is the main board on The Outhouse, where Outhousers talk about everything. No topics are off limits, and it doesn't have to be about comics. All the topics from the other boards also show up in The Asylum, so you never have to leave1

Hey you! Reader! Want to be a part of the GREATEST COMIC BOOK AND GEEK COMMUNITY on the web?! Logged in users see WAY LESS ADS, so why not register? It's fast and it's easy, like your mom! Sign up today! Membership spots are limited!*

*Membership spots not really limited!

LOLtron
User avatar
YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 25816
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 322 posts
Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 1:54 pm


Michael Rosenbaum, John Krasinski, Isiah Mustafa, Dave Bautista, ThanosCopter, Unemployed Mall Santa, and Your Mom Rumored for Guardians of the Galaxy Role

Postby LOLtron » Fri Jan 04, 2013 2:13 pm

Michael Rosenbaum, John Krasinski, Isiah Mustafa, Dave Bautista, ThanosCopter, Unemployed Mall Santa, and Your Mom Rumored for Guardians of the Galaxy Role

We're throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks!



Source: Every Website on the Internet

There have been a lot of rumors flying around the internet about Guardians of the Galaxy casting. Despite skepticism, these rumors are more than just wild speculation,* and The Outhouse feels it is our duty to bring this news to you.**

First up is the role of Starlord, which was most recently rumored to be filled by box office jinx Joseph Gordon-Levitt. The Office's John Krasinski and Smallville's Michael Rosenbaum are some of the latest lucky actors to be rumored to play Starlord, along with Outhouse news reporter ThanosCopter and your mom. Copter, the most talented of the bunch, would be the logical choice for the role, but he is unlikely to get the part because he may not be real, and also because moviegoers would likely find his rotors too distracting.

Luckily, your mom always seems open for everything.

Because she's a whore.

The role of Drax the Destroyer is more interesting, with Old Spice commercial star Isiah Mustafa and former WWE wrestler Dave Bautista rumored for the role.

Bautista, known in WWE as Batista (because most of its fans have a fourth grade or lower education and can't deal with extra vowels in names, dangit) would be an extremely risky choice for the role considering his behavior during his final days in WWE. Batista, formerly a beloved fan-favorite, took to wearing a leather jacket and not shaving during his last run in the wrestling federation, indicating that he had developed a bad boy attitude. Is this kind of rule-breaking, egotistical behavior the kind of thing Marvel wants on the set of a pivotal movie like this? If so, they would have hired Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, or Dame Judi Dench.

Of course, wrestlers have been known to for having volatile personalities, seemingly changing their personality types at the drop of a hat. It is unknown whether this is due to a higher tendency toward multiple personality disorder in athletes, or whether this psychological issue is correlated to the painkiller abuse and concussions normally associated with the sport. Even all-American darling Hulk Hogan suffered from this condition during the nineties, dressing in all black and acting like a dick after forming the rogue wrestling organization the New World Order. Hogan's personality change was so drastic that the blonde wrestler's beard hair began growing in black, the only known example of this medical abnormality.

The Outhouse asked popular 80s wrestler Kamala the Ugandan Giant for comment on the rumors, because why the fuck not, but he just slapped his belly and stared at us menacingly.

Mustafa is also a risky choice and is likely to provoke outrage among racists, who disapprove of a black actor playing a green-skinned character. "I don't like black people," said one racist, who declined to elaborate further.

We'll keep you updated on these rumors as they break or as we make them up, since there's nothing else to report on today.

* - no they aren't

** - we were bored



Written or Contributed by Jude Terror




READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!
Image

Advertisement

Rockman
User avatar
YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 28059
Likes: 170 posts
Liked in: 559 posts
Joined: Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:25 pm
Formerly: AMS


Re: Michael Rosenbaum, John Krasinski, Isiah Mustafa, Dave B

Postby Rockman » Fri Jan 04, 2013 2:21 pm

I just want you guys to know that if my mom gets the role it is not because of her unfortunate connection with Daniel Slott

George_Kaplan
User avatar
rubber spoon
 
Posts: 6544
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 0 post
Joined: Fri May 01, 2009 9:04 pm


Re: Michael Rosenbaum, John Krasinski, Isiah Mustafa, Dave B

Postby George_Kaplan » Fri Jan 04, 2013 2:45 pm

Well if you wanna get technical...Drax was originally a white guy before he was transformed into a green guy.

Zechs

Happy Pony Day!
 
Posts: 44248
Likes: 178 posts
Liked in: 299 posts
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2006 9:10 pm
Location: From Parts Unknown
Title: Deposted Despot
Formerly: Blight, Deacon Frost, Heinrich Himmler of S_D


Online


Re: Michael Rosenbaum, John Krasinski, Isiah Mustafa, Dave B

Postby Zechs » Fri Jan 04, 2013 2:51 pm

I think Starlord should play Starlord. He was born for the role.
Image
Image

Image


sdsichero wrote:
I especially like and admire Zechs. He's everything I wish I could be!

Dragavon wrote:Zechs... is...

Zechs...is...

I can't say it. It's too horrible. Zechs...is...not...wrong...

bkthomson
User avatar
YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 23426
Likes: 7 posts
Liked in: 45 posts
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:14 pm
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Title: Invisible Man of the Outhouse


Re: Michael Rosenbaum, John Krasinski, Isiah Mustafa, Dave B

Postby bkthomson » Fri Jan 04, 2013 3:30 pm

Rockman wrote:I just want you guys to know that if my mom gets the role it is not because of her unfortunate connection with Daniel Slott


I'll keep that in mind if it occurs.
I used to have goals. They were evil goals, but they were goals. -- Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

Dragavon wrote:He's being diplomatic again. :lol:

Zechs wrote:I have to repress you more. You're way too goodie two shoes.

Fat Ollie Weeks wrote:I swear to God, you are so boring sometimes I think you're just a stealth-mod-bot that Jude has coded.

doomedhuh
User avatar
Tip Top Dancer
 
Posts: 48
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 0 post
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 2:48 am


Re: Michael Rosenbaum, John Krasinski, Isiah Mustafa, Dave B

Postby doomedhuh » Fri Jan 04, 2013 11:10 pm

Are they gonna let Kamala in the WWF hall of fame

leave a comment with facebook


Return to The Asylum



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: MSN NewsBlogs and 40 guests

Advertisement