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[LOLtron]

We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried.

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Source: Press Release

When DC announced that all of their Nu52 books in April would ship with gatefold covers, we all knew it would only be a matter of time before the 1990s ridiculous got into full swing. Less than a week later, Marvel has sent out a first look at Age of Ultron, and they quietly slipped in the announcement that Age of Ultron #1 would feature a foil cover. Can holograms and polybagged trading cards be far behind?

"No," said Joe Quesada, Marvel's Head of Muckity Mucking. "I mean yes. I mean, that's ridiculous. This is just one cover. Marvel learned its lesson from the nineties, and it'll be a cold day in hell before Marvel goes back to those short-sighted days of greed and decadence."

"Temperatures have been a-droppin', I reckon," said Jebediah "Cowpoke" Henderson, a resident of hell, sentenced there for eternity in 1862 after taking his nickname too seriously and engaging in illicit sexual encounters with cattle, who The Outhouse reached out to for comment. "Global coolin' is a mighty big issue in hell. Makes me mad enough ta swallow a horny toad backward hearin' fancy Earth folk like Joe Kwasayda makin' fun o' a whattin's a real hassle for folk down here. Why, I reckon it's up there with gettin' impaled through yer cornhole on red hot pitchforks or a-havin' yer genitals chewed off by snarlin' hell-beasts."

So it's cold down there, we asked? "Yep," Jebediah confirmed, and then spat on the ground as if to punctuate his remarks.

As to whether the gimmick will have an effect on sales, no one can no for sure, but we spoke to a dumbass speculator, who told us, "Dur duuurrrrrrr! Dur durrr de durr durr durrrrrr! Duh... durrrrrrrrrrr," which we believe indicates he will probably buy 100 copies.

Here's the press release:

Submit or Perish! Your New Look At AGE OF ULTRON #1

Marvel is pleased to present your first look at the explosive first issue of Age Of Ultron #1! This March, enter the darkest days of the Marvel Universe as it’s heroes fight for from the blockbuster creative team of Brian Michael Bendis (All New X-Men, Avengers VS. X-Men) and Bryan Hitch (Ultimates, Fantastic Four). Evil has triumphed over good and leading this new age is none other than Ultron, the deadly sentient robot created by founding Avenger Hank Pym who turned on his creator to achieve his twisted objective…the utter destruction of humanity. Now, it’s up to the few remaining heroes to band together and find any way to topple their new monarch. Can Wolverine, Emma Frost, Invisible Woman, Taskmaster, Beast, She-Hulk, Luke Cage, Spider-Man, and Moon Knight turn the tide?

With the robotic revolution in full force, no fan can miss how Age of Ultron will ultimately change the Marvel Universe leaving no hero or villain unscathed! So what are you waiting for? Head on over to your local comic shop and reserve a copy of Age of Ultron #1, featuring a unique cover with foil treatment and design at no extra cost. Fans have been demanding to know more about Age Of Ultron since Free Comic Book Day last year, and come this March – some of those questions and more (including an ending nobody will see coming) will be answered in Age of Ultron!

AGE OF ULTRON #1 (JAN130627)
Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS
Art and Cover by BRYAN HITCH
On-Sale March 2013 A.U.

AGE OF ULTRON #2 (JAN130634)
Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS
Art and Cover by BRYAN HITCH
On-Sale March 2013 A.U.

AGE OF ULTRON #3 (JAN130637)
Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS
Art and Cover by BRYAN HITCH
On-Sale March 2013 A.U.

Written or Contributed by Jude Terror

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READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!

[Chesscub]

Cause hey, Marvel's continuing to bring back the 90's.

Last year, we have a Comics' Greatest World revival of sorts with the return of Ghost.
DC did 0 zero issues.
Valiant came back.
Image is popular.

All we need is a return of the Ultraverse and we're all set!

[fieldy snuts]

Cause hey, Marvel's continuing to bring back the 90's.

Last year, we have a Comics' Greatest World revival of sorts with the return of Ghost.
DC did 0 zero issues.
Valiant came back.
Image is popular.

All we need is a return of the Ultraverse and we're all set!

Hickman's actually bringing the New Universe into his Avengers run. That close enough for you?

[Johnny Smith]

nice!

[sdsichero]

Curses, foils again!

[Agent Panic]

All we need is a return of the Ultraverse and we're all set!

I could only wish. I loved that whole universe before it turned to crap.

[DMM]

I could only wish. I loved that whole universe before it turned to crap.

So did I.

[UnionJack]

Hang on, is Age of Ultron going to be 3 times a month?

I'm pissed off enough with all the double shipping as it is & canceling several Marvel books because of it. Looks like I'll be passing on AoU....

[Lord Ice]

I admit that I was a sucker for gimick covers in the 90's, but I've been waiting years to not buy this series. Nice try Marvel, but you fail to lure me in this time.

[Chesscub]

Hickman's actually bringing the New Universe into his Avengers run. That close enough for you?

[GOSD]

Awesome!

I love those things!

[Chesscub]

All that would make my 90's complete is if Section Zero and Astro City came back.

[IvCNuB4]

2013 sales gimmicks

[S.F. Jude Terror]

2013 sales gimmicks

Man, who proofread that article?

[IvCNuB4]

Zechs ?