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by **LOLtron** » Tue Jan 22, 2013 12:50 pm

Submit or Perish: Who Will Return from Age of Ultron?

A new Marvel teaser series hints that not everyone will make it out of Age of Ultron alive. The first two teasers show Red Hulk and Black Widow.

Source: Press Release

Marvel sent out these teasers for Age of Ultron titled Submit or Perish_, with the underscore representing an old school cursor that people who used computers back in 1985 will recognize instantly, and everyone else will think is a typo. The headline on the press release asks the question, "who will return from the Age of Ultron?" While the first two teasers seem to feature the Red Hulk and Black Widow, Marvel is likely to release twenty-seven more of these before the event launches, covering every minor hero in the event, so it'll be nearly impossible to predict who might die.

Nah, we're just kidding. It'll be a black guy. Marvel already killed a cripple in their last event, and it's a dangerous climate for killing chick characters. Look for Marvel to slip in a Falcon or Luke Cage teaser at some point in the coming week, and then we'll know who's biting it in the event. If we had to choose between the two featured below, however, we would definitely go with the Red Hulk, as he is obviously taking Lance Armstrong levels of performance enhancing drugs and looks like he's about to keel over any second.

Here's the press release:

Submit Or Perish: Who Will Return From The AGE OF ULTRON?

AGE OF ULTRON #1 (JAN130627)
Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS
Art and Cover by BRYAN HITCH
On-Sale March 2013 A.U.

AGE OF ULTRON #2 (JAN130634)
Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS
Art and Cover by BRYAN HITCH
On-Sale March 2013 A.U.

AGE OF ULTRON #3 (JAN130637)
Written by BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS
Art and Cover by BRYAN HITCH
On-Sale March 2013 A.U.

Written or Contributed by Jude Terror

READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!

by **IvCNuB4** » Tue Jan 22, 2013 12:58 pm

Apparently Natasha had a stroke that was treated with Super-Soldier serum resulting in abnormal musculature :shock:

by **Chesscub** » Tue Jan 22, 2013 1:20 pm

IvCNuB4 wrote:Apparently Natasha had a stroke that was treated with Super-Soldier serum resulting in abnormal musculature

Fucked with her ballet skills.

by **nietoperz** » Tue Jan 22, 2013 1:30 pm

This one's going to be another one of those events that ends with a big old reset button being hit.

by **GOSD** » Tue Jan 22, 2013 1:33 pm

nietoperz wrote:This one's going to be another one of those events that ends with a big old reset button being hit.

And a whole bunch of new #1 issues!

:smt011

by **UnionJack** » Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:35 pm

The Avengers has always been my favourite series & Ultron one of their best villains.
However, I'm just not bothering with this. Fed up with events especially when they pretty much all end up being a damp squib, or plain shit like Fear Itself.
Also find the tie-in policy with AU particularly offensive - 2 different versions with the obvious intent that fans will buy both.

by **guitarsmashley** » Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:54 pm

nietoperz wrote:This one's going to be another one of those events that ends with a big old reset button being hit.

Nonsense, it's not like a comic company to reset a volume before a year....oh wait, nevermind.

by **3MJ** » Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:58 pm

I think this might be good actually. I expected a dud, but the teasers seem ok.

by **oogy** » Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:35 pm

The 3 times a month shipping schedule means I'm passing on this.

by **Chesscub** » Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:04 pm

2013 AU is a distance not a time. :smt013

by **UnionJack** » Tue Jan 22, 2013 5:49 pm

oogy wrote:The 3 times a month shipping schedule means I'm passing on this.

Yes, that too.

by **nietoperz** » Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:03 pm

GOSD wrote:
And a whole bunch of new #1 issues!

No, not even. If this was happening a year or so down the line then sure, maybe, but I think this series is going to be the equivalent of a Star Trek: Voyager 'event' episode: bad stuff will happen, but someone will find a way to reset time, probably by doing something unethical that would cause people to scowl meaningfully at each other. Either way, it's not going to do a whole fuck of a lot to derail Marvel Now.