Is it 'rapey' when a masked superhero kisses someone who doesn't know their identity?
Was it rapey when Spider-Man kissed MJ in the first movie, she didn't know he was Peter Parker, she didn''t want to be kissed by Peter Parker (yet)!
Was it rapey when Superman used to kiss Lois Lane, a woman who had no interest in Clark Kent?
Again... Mary Jane specifically had a relationship with Peter Parker. The only reason she would be kissing Spider-Man is that she believes he is Peter. But he is not Peter. Therefore Doc Spiderpuss is deceiving her in order to get the kiss, and it is rapey. Those other situations are different.
MJ didn't know who Spider-Man was in the first movie, and she wanted to kiss him fully aware of that.
Lois Lane had interest in kissing Superman, and Superman is Superman.
If Mary Jane found out she was kissing Doctor Octopus, she would be horrified and disgusted.