DC continues its quest to catch up to Marvel circa 2008
Trying to copy the success Marvel had with January 2009’s “Obama” cover to Amazing Spider-Man #538 DC announced today that they would be publishing a Friends Of Hamas comic book set in the New 52 Universe.
Dan Didio, Darth Didio to his friends, explained their logic in this statement he didn't really give because we made it up:
When Time Warner told me that I had to do something newsworthy and successful (and not just newsworthy) I reached into our ‘What did Marvel already do?” well of ideas and randomly chose the ‘current events’ option. I knew right away that this meant that we were destined to capitalize on the Secretary Of Defense Nomination drama sweeping the nation.
The Outhouse, known as the internet's Rosetta Stone of comic book PR to English, assumes that this decision was partially inspired by the rumor that Secretary Of Defense Nominee, Chuck Hagel, gave a fundraising speech to the obviously fake Friends Of Hamas organization. The Outhouse tried to explain to Didio that there was no such organization as Friends Of Hamas and that this decision would only serve to make DC look incredibly stupid, to which Didio responded “Well, it is Monday.”
The Outhouse, in an attempt to find an adult in the DC offices, pretended to reach out to DC Co-Publisher, Jim Lee for an explanation. What we invented was:
Obviously the idea of an organization called Friends of Hamas is absurd and ridiculous, and the fact that it never actually existed was, at first, a cause for concern, but then we realized that it wasn’t like anyone would actually read the comic, so we gave it to Victor Gishler to guarantee its early cancelation.
When asked if maybe a comic painting the terrorist organization as a protagonist might upset some of DC’s Jewish fans, Lee stated that “No one had the right to deny DC its first Amendment Rights by not buying this comic book.” Thus completely missing the point, just like anyone who has ever been boycotted.
Friends Of Hamas #1 by Victor Gishler and Greg Land will hit the stands October 16th 2013. All stores who chose not to carry the book will be blown up on October 17th 2013.
UPDATE - Unsatisfied with the answers given this reporter contacted former DC employee and curent Outhosue corrispondent, Frankenstein, for comment:
This no true. Frank hate DC and Darth Didio, but even they not this stupid! anyone who read whole article and still think real has brain Frank no want.
Besides, Outhouse get it wrong as usual. Is no Friends of Hamas comic. Is Friends of Harras, and refers to DC's entire line of comics, which are all written and drawn by friends of Editor in Chief Bob Harras from 1990s. See, look, someone spill coffee and make two Rs look like M.
PSYCHE, that no true either, if you think so then you too dumb for internet!
Written or Contributed by GHERU
READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!