Advertisement

Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Discuss the latest comic book news and front page articles, read or post your own reviews of comics, and talk about anything comic book related. Threads from the two subforums below will also show up here. News Stand topics can also be read and posted in from The Asylum.

Hey you! Reader! Want to be a part of the GREATEST COMIC BOOK AND GEEK COMMUNITY on the web?! Logged in users see WAY LESS ADS, so why not register? It's fast and it's easy, like your mom! Sign up today! Membership spots are limited!*

*Membership spots not really limited!

LOLtron
User avatar
YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 24510
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 142 posts
Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 1:54 pm


Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Postby LOLtron » Wed Mar 27, 2013 2:09 pm

Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Marvel explained that parent company Disney was uncomfortable with the character's name.



Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

During a phone conference with Marvel COO Joe Quesada and Disney CEO, the frozen head of Walt Disney, an assembled crowd of fictional journalists learned the real reason why Richard Rider had been killed off.

"Listen, we don't want to be DC," said Quesada. "And string along fans for years about whether or not their favorites are coming back. As long as Disney owns Marvel, the character is off the table."

When asked why the character was staying dead, Quesada blushed. "Well, you see....Disney just doesn't want a character named Dick Rider," he stammered. "

"It's vulgar and inappropriate," added Disney via a robotic speakerbox underneath the dome holding his head.

Of course, the assembled crowd of journalists didn't like that explanation one bit.  "He's never been called that in the comics!" shouted one journalist angrily.

"I like Dick Rider!" said another. "It sounds like someone I like to know."

"We prefer that all sexual references in our properties be a little less blatant," said Disney. "Have the word 'sex' spelled out in a cloud of smoke, hide some massive penises on a DVD cover, or spend 70 years producing animated shorts featuring an angry duck with a speech impediment that never wears pants. Calling a character 'Dick Rider' is just too extreme."

"What about if they changed Dick Rider into a girl?" asked another journalist. "Would it be okay then?"

"That was the first thing we tried," said Quesada.  "But Disney just doesn't want Dick Riders as part of their company."

"We suggested that Marvel consider changing the character into something less offensive, such as an anthropomorphic crow that exemplifies the worst racial stereotypes about black people," Disney's head explained. "But we couldn't come to an agreement, so we ended up with Sam Alexander instead."

"The bottom line is, Disney is about wholesome family entertainment," Walt concluded, before encouraging everyone to go see Disney stars Selina Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens in their new movie, Spring Breakers.



Written or Contributed by ThanosCopter


READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!
Image

Advertisement

IvCNuB4
User avatar
Staff Writer
 
Posts: 10528
Likes: 287 posts
Liked in: 188 posts
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:51 am
Location: Chicago, IL
Title: Stop messing with my TITLE !


Re: Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Postby IvCNuB4 » Wed Mar 27, 2013 3:23 pm

"It's vulgar and inappropriate," added Disney via a robotic speakerbox underneath the dome holding his head.



Disney: Proud sponsor of Wanda's magical universe-spawning vagina of light that created "House Of M" :lol:

Image
-
Victorian Squid wrote:In a DC/Marvel cross-over "all your favorite Marvel characters would catch contextually-transmitted diseases and Steph infections."

Draco x
User avatar
FROGMAN
 
Posts: 8617
Likes: 632 posts
Liked in: 194 posts
Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2012 11:51 am


Re: Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Postby Draco x » Wed Mar 27, 2013 3:27 pm

This is golden. I wish I had came up with this one. :D :D :D

Grayson
User avatar
Outhouse Drafter
 
Posts: 7941
Likes: 334 posts
Liked in: 587 posts
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2011 9:34 am
Location: The Darkest Timeline
Title: The Intersect
Formerly: Sakie


Online


Re: Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Postby Grayson » Wed Mar 27, 2013 3:28 pm

Image

In any event: :smt011
ImageImageImage

BlueStreak
User avatar
The Red Stands for Irony
 
Posts: 12257
Likes: 4 posts
Liked in: 28 posts
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2006 7:06 pm
Title: Bat-Min Inc.
Formerly: BlueStreak


Re: Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Postby BlueStreak » Wed Mar 27, 2013 3:33 pm

Grayson, you're not sure if an article about Walt Disney's reanimated head talking about turning Nova into a crow caricature is a joke?
Image

S.F. Jude Terror
User avatar
OMCTO
 
Posts: 75954
Likes: 379 posts
Liked in: 527 posts
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:44 pm
Location: Up Your Ass
Title: Webmaster Supreme
Formerly: Dr. Jude Terror


Re: Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Wed Mar 27, 2013 3:34 pm

BlueMole wrote:Grayson, you're not sure if an article about Walt Disney's reanimated head talking about turning Nova into a crow caricature is a joke?


That's the world we live in.
Image
I LOVE BLUD BLOOD! - Rob Liefeld

Grayson
User avatar
Outhouse Drafter
 
Posts: 7941
Likes: 334 posts
Liked in: 587 posts
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2011 9:34 am
Location: The Darkest Timeline
Title: The Intersect
Formerly: Sakie


Online


Re: Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Postby Grayson » Wed Mar 27, 2013 3:36 pm

BlueMole wrote:Grayson, you're not sure if an article about Walt Disney's reanimated head talking about turning Nova into a crow caricature is a joke?


:oops:

It's just that ThanosCopter is usually such a paragon of journalistic integrity that it's hard to differentiate between when he/she is being serious or sarcastic. Besides, we all know that the part about Disney's reanimated head and racism is fact. :P
ImageImageImage

IvCNuB4
User avatar
Staff Writer
 
Posts: 10528
Likes: 287 posts
Liked in: 188 posts
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:51 am
Location: Chicago, IL
Title: Stop messing with my TITLE !


Re: Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Postby IvCNuB4 » Wed Mar 27, 2013 3:55 pm

-
Victorian Squid wrote:In a DC/Marvel cross-over "all your favorite Marvel characters would catch contextually-transmitted diseases and Steph infections."

3MJ
 
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 59 posts


Re: Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Postby 3MJ » Wed Mar 27, 2013 4:19 pm

As a person named Dick Twigg I find this article massively offensive.

sdsichero
User avatar
2k11 Outhouse People's Champion
 
Posts: 69116
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 393 posts
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:25 pm
Location: Secret Base, Honolulu, HI
Title: The Show Starts In 2 Minutes
Formerly: beta-ray


Online


Re: Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Postby sdsichero » Wed Mar 27, 2013 4:34 pm

LOLtron wrote:"I like Dick Rider!" said another. "It sounds like someone I like to know."


I thought Jude wasn't invited to the event?

Lord Ice
User avatar
Motherfucker from Hell
 
Posts: 2622
Likes: 19 posts
Liked in: 57 posts
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 3:45 pm


Re: Marvel Explains Richard Rider's Absence in Marvel NOW!

Postby Lord Ice » Wed Mar 27, 2013 4:40 pm

Isn't Dick Rider the pet name that Marvel/Disney call the fans who buy and watch everything they sell them?
Image
Image

leave a comment with facebook


Return to The News Stand



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: FaceBook [Linkcheck] and 265 guests

Advertisement