Zechs, while you sit there, hopefully as drunk and comfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me. I want you to digest this because before I leave with your Moment of the Week title, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest. I don’t hate Godzilla, Zechs. I don’t even dislike Godzilla. I do like Godzilla. I like Godzilla a hell of a lot more than I like most Intellectual Properties in the back. I hate this idea that Godzilla's the best. Because this week, it wasn't. Hulk was the best. Hulk is the strongest one there is. There’s one thing Godzilla's better at than the Hulk and that's destroying Tokyo. He's as good at destroying Tokyo as King Ghidorah was. I don’t know if he's as good as Destoroyah though. Destoroyah's a pretty good Tokyo destroyer. Always was and still is.
Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall! *Waves at the camera*
The Hulk had the BEST Moment of the Week.
Hulk's been the best since last Wednesday when he lifted Mjölnir in Jotunheim and he's been vilified and hated since that day because Mark Waid saw something in him that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, he's a Mark Waid guy. You know what else is a Mark Waid property? Boom! Studios and I bet they never won any of your Moment of the Weeks just like Hulk. But the biggest difference between Hulk and Boom! is I’m going to fight so that Hulk wins the Moment of the Week.
Hulk's grabbed so many of Tony Stark’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that there just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is Hulk and the fact that day in and day out, for almost fifty-one years, Hulk has proved to everybody in the world that he is the best in comics, the best on television, even in the Avengers! Nobody can touch Hulk!
And yet no matter how many times he proves it, Hulks not on your lovely little collector cups. Hulk's not on the cover of the program. Hulk's barely promoted. Hulk doesn't get to be have his own sequel. Hulk's certainly not on any crappy show on the ABC Network. Hulk's not on the poster of Iron Man 3. Hulk's not on the signature that you use each week to promote the Moment of the Week. Hulk's not on Conan O’Brian. Hulk's not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is, he should be. This isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Godzilla is in the main event poll for the Moment of the Year at the end of the year and the Hulk's not makes me sick!
Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who didn't vote for the Hulk. You’re the ones that go see those sequels that don't feature the Hulk. And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove a poster in Mark Ruffalo's face and get an autograph and try to sell it on Ebay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job.
I’m leaving with the Moment of the Week. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it at Bleeding Cool. Maybe…I’ll go back to Newsarama.
*Waves at the camera again*
Hey, Matt Brady, how you doing?
The reason I’m leaving is you people. Because after I’m gone, you’re still going to vote in Zech's polls. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Tony Stark is going to make money despite himself. He’s a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he’s not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, non-sensical, douchebag (censored) yes men, like James Rhodes, who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear, and I’d like to think that maybe the Avengers will better after Tony Stark is dead...Damn it was hard to tailor that to fit this conversation!