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What If The New Green Lantern Was Female

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syxxpakk

Wrasslin' Fan

Postby syxxpakk » Wed Apr 10, 2013 7:29 pm

Look at this burqa:

Image
User avatar

syxxpakk

Wrasslin' Fan

Postby syxxpakk » Wed Apr 10, 2013 7:29 pm

It's from Google images so you know it's a real burqa.
User avatar

S.F. Jude Terror

OMCTO

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Wed Apr 10, 2013 7:33 pm

:lol:
User avatar

syxxpakk

Wrasslin' Fan

Postby syxxpakk » Wed Apr 10, 2013 7:58 pm

I'm actually a burqa-designer on the side.

This one time I made a burqa for this woman and she came to me and tried to pay with a cow. I tried very persistently to explain to her that I couldn't accept said cow but she kept going on about how I was being unfair to her because she was a nocturnal and the US doesn't really provided services for them or something. Anyway, she ended up and I shit you not, offering me her little brother as collateral until she could get the money. She told me he was a great worker and I could use him as an apprentice or something. I told her I already had a

Clumsy Fat Sidekick

and didn't need another. So of course it became a thing and her brother came up and he was pretty pissed. He ultimately faked his death to try and get her the burqa, but when I found out he was calling from the same phone number he had used once before I was like "Get out of here Marcus." Then another time he pretended to be a reverend to try and get the burqa but it was all a SWERVE~! Can you imagine?

So a couple of weeks pass by and he comes back with a lawyer. This is legit, mind. Anyway the lawyer was being very fervent and quite racist about his point, but I was like "You might know all about the law and Superman's legal history and shit but I ain't taking no cows." So the lawyer was all "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE SIN CITY" (which was written by Grant Morrison, or was that Alan Moore? I don't know, UPS still has my copy and refuses to deliver it) but I was like "Nah dawg."

So another couple of weeks pass and wouldn't you know it but the guy comes back for the burqa but by this time I've already turned into some lingerie for porn (SEXY BURQA SPOILERS!). So he's pissed of course because he thinks he's still going to get the burqa and now his sister will look like one of those girls in those anime cartoons or comics or whatever that attract those weirdos who think Hermione Granger is hot or dress up like cats. So he gets all upset again and says some choice words, but I can't make out what he's saying because keeps putting ampersands in the cuss words and stuff which is really weird because he also called me an abortion. Legit didn't get his deal there. Then I told him I didn't like him very much so he went and complained about it next door, but whatever I guess I got a little uppity once because people called me bias (seriously WTF was that about?).

So the next day he comes back and I'm watching the most important match in history (Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, of course). So he goes on in and on about the burqa and how he wants the burqa but the cow is dead and the burqa is a porn movie (you've probably seen a picture of it in a thread here by Schlemmer) and there's just nothing that's going help him so he makes like Randy O***n and slips out.

Long story short?

Nice job Summer Folk, it was Trayvon's fault.
User avatar

Lord Simian

The Lord of the Monkeys

Postby Lord Simian » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:04 pm

syxxpakk wrote:I'm actually a burqa-designer on the side.

This one time I made a burqa for this woman and she came to me and tried to pay with a cow. I tried very persistently to explain to her that I couldn't accept said cow but she kept going on about how I was being unfair to her because she was a nocturnal and the US doesn't really provided services for them or something. Anyway, she ended up and I shit you not, offering me her little brother as collateral until she could get the money. She told me he was a great worker and I could use him as an apprentice or something. I told her I already had a

Clumsy Fat Sidekick

and didn't need another. So of course it became a thing and her brother came up and he was pretty pissed. He ultimately faked his death to try and get her the burqa, but when I found out he was calling from the same phone number he had used once before I was like "Get out of here Marcus." Then another time he pretended to be a reverend to try and get the burqa but it was all a SWERVE~! Can you imagine?

So a couple of weeks pass by and he comes back with a lawyer. This is legit, mind. Anyway the lawyer was being very fervent and quite racist about his point, but I was like "You might know all about the law and Superman's legal history and shit but I ain't taking no cows." So the lawyer was all "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE SIN CITY" (which was written by Grant Morrison, or was that Alan Moore? I don't know, UPS still has my copy and refuses to deliver it) but I was like "Nah dawg."

So another couple of weeks pass and wouldn't you know it but the guy comes back for the burqa but by this time I've already turned into some lingerie for porn (SEXY BURQA SPOILERS!). So he's pissed of course because he thinks he's still going to get the burqa and now his sister will look like one of those girls in those anime cartoons or comics or whatever that attract those weirdos who think Hermione Granger is hot or dress up like cats. So he gets all upset again and says some choice words, but I can't make out what he's saying because keeps putting ampersands in the cuss words and stuff which is really weird because he also called me an abortion. Legit didn't get his deal there. Then I told him I didn't like him very much so he went and complained about it next door, but whatever I guess I got a little uppity once because people called me bias (seriously WTF was that about?).

So the next day he comes back and I'm watching the most important match in history (Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, of course). So he goes on in and on about the burqa and how he wants the burqa but the cow is dead and the burqa is a porn movie (you've probably seen a picture of it in a thread here by Schlemmer) and there's just nothing that's going help him so he makes like Randy O***n and slips out.

Long story short?

Nice job Summer Folk, it was Trayvon's fault.


My Kong... It's full of stars...
User avatar

oogy

Zombie Guard

Postby oogy » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:09 pm

syxxpakk wrote:I'm actually a burqa-designer on the side.

This one time I made a burqa for this woman and she came to me and tried to pay with a cow. I tried very persistently to explain to her that I couldn't accept said cow but she kept going on about how I was being unfair to her because she was a nocturnal and the US doesn't really provided services for them or something. Anyway, she ended up and I shit you not, offering me her little brother as collateral until she could get the money. She told me he was a great worker and I could use him as an apprentice or something. I told her I already had a

Clumsy Fat Sidekick

and didn't need another. So of course it became a thing and her brother came up and he was pretty pissed. He ultimately faked his death to try and get her the burqa, but when I found out he was calling from the same phone number he had used once before I was like "Get out of here Marcus." Then another time he pretended to be a reverend to try and get the burqa but it was all a SWERVE~! Can you imagine?

So a couple of weeks pass by and he comes back with a lawyer. This is legit, mind. Anyway the lawyer was being very fervent and quite racist about his point, but I was like "You might know all about the law and Superman's legal history and shit but I ain't taking no cows." So the lawyer was all "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE SIN CITY" (which was written by Grant Morrison, or was that Alan Moore? I don't know, UPS still has my copy and refuses to deliver it) but I was like "Nah dawg."

So another couple of weeks pass and wouldn't you know it but the guy comes back for the burqa but by this time I've already turned into some lingerie for porn (SEXY BURQA SPOILERS!). So he's pissed of course because he thinks he's still going to get the burqa and now his sister will look like one of those girls in those anime cartoons or comics or whatever that attract those weirdos who think Hermione Granger is hot or dress up like cats. So he gets all upset again and says some choice words, but I can't make out what he's saying because keeps putting ampersands in the cuss words and stuff which is really weird because he also called me an abortion. Legit didn't get his deal there. Then I told him I didn't like him very much so he went and complained about it next door, but whatever I guess I got a little uppity once because people called me bias (seriously WTF was that about?).

So the next day he comes back and I'm watching the most important match in history (Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, of course). So he goes on in and on about the burqa and how he wants the burqa but the cow is dead and the burqa is a porn movie (you've probably seen a picture of it in a thread here by Schlemmer) and there's just nothing that's going help him so he makes like Randy O***n and slips out.

Long story short?

Nice job Summer Folk, it was Trayvon's fault.

Image
User avatar

Keb

<( ' . ' )>

Postby Keb » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:28 pm

draco x wrote:
Exactly what I was thinking. This would be what would make the female GL character interesting is her using her powers to fight against certain aspects of her culture. I would have had the character come from a very strict and conservative upbringing who would defy family's Muslim beliefs and was cast out-or better yet almost get killed by her family via honor killing. The ring would appear as she was about to be killed and she uses it to strike down her would be killers and take down her family for their actions. It would then spin to her to dealing with things like honor killings and violence against women as well as the usual super-villain threats like Sinestro, Atrocitus, Larfleeze and so on. So much could be done with this concept if anyone other than Didio could do it right and not mess it up.

I echo Doomie's statement about having a rational conversation. I appreciate it.

I will be honest here and say that this is where I see this whole idea going wrong. Essentially, this character's origin story makes a complete villain out of Islam and makes it seem like it's an archaic, old-world system of belief that oppresses women and kills them. While I'm not going to deny that honor killings happen (there was one here in Toronto a couple years ago), but the light in which you choose to portray Islamic and Arabic culture is extremely negative and represents a fraction of the culture that the majority of Muslims want to distance themselves from. To me, that's where the idea of a female Arabic GL fails. In the same vein as a lot of other portrayals of Islam in Western media, it shows a negative and outdated aspect of a culture and religion. There are a lot of good things happening in the Islamic community and a lot of positive Muslims who don't think the west is evil. Your idea really promotes the notion of thinking that "Muslim = terrorist" or "Muslim = fascist" and really misrepresents a very large portion of the Islamic community around the world.

One really good thing to take into consideration is the recent Arab Spring and how a female GL could function in that kind of society. In a society where religious dictators exist, perhaps you can have a female Arabic GL facing the challenges of wanting to and possibly replacing a dictator with either a system of democracy, socialism or an even stricter dictatorship. Perhaps she could also contend with Western social ideology, and face having to balance both Western and Eastern social ideals with the duties of a Green Lantern and a superhero?

draco x wrote:
So some personal experiences you and your friends have had are the basis of this notion against female Arabic characters then? Plus this sounds like a rash generalization of a whole group of women.

No that's my homegirl still. I don't hold anything against her plus I probably would have hit my friend with the car because he is an emotional fuck. See above for an explanation of why I don't think female Arabic GL is a good idea.
User avatar

Keb

<( ' . ' )>

Postby Keb » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:32 pm

syxxpakk wrote:I'm actually a burqa-designer on the side.

This one time I made a burqa for this woman and she came to me and tried to pay with a cow. I tried very persistently to explain to her that I couldn't accept said cow but she kept going on about how I was being unfair to her because she was a nocturnal and the US doesn't really provided services for them or something. Anyway, she ended up and I shit you not, offering me her little brother as collateral until she could get the money. She told me he was a great worker and I could use him as an apprentice or something. I told her I already had a

Clumsy Fat Sidekick

and didn't need another. So of course it became a thing and her brother came up and he was pretty pissed. He ultimately faked his death to try and get her the burqa, but when I found out he was calling from the same phone number he had used once before I was like "Get out of here Marcus." Then another time he pretended to be a reverend to try and get the burqa but it was all a SWERVE~! Can you imagine?

So a couple of weeks pass by and he comes back with a lawyer. This is legit, mind. Anyway the lawyer was being very fervent and quite racist about his point, but I was like "You might know all about the law and Superman's legal history and shit but I ain't taking no cows." So the lawyer was all "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE SIN CITY" (which was written by Grant Morrison, or was that Alan Moore? I don't know, UPS still has my copy and refuses to deliver it) but I was like "Nah dawg."

So another couple of weeks pass and wouldn't you know it but the guy comes back for the burqa but by this time I've already turned into some lingerie for porn (SEXY BURQA SPOILERS!). So he's pissed of course because he thinks he's still going to get the burqa and now his sister will look like one of those girls in those anime cartoons or comics or whatever that attract those weirdos who think Hermione Granger is hot or dress up like cats. So he gets all upset again and says some choice words, but I can't make out what he's saying because keeps putting ampersands in the cuss words and stuff which is really weird because he also called me an abortion. Legit didn't get his deal there. Then I told him I didn't like him very much so he went and complained about it next door, but whatever I guess I got a little uppity once because people called me bias (seriously WTF was that about?).

So the next day he comes back and I'm watching the most important match in history (Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, of course). So he goes on in and on about the burqa and how he wants the burqa but the cow is dead and the burqa is a porn movie (you've probably seen a picture of it in a thread here by Schlemmer) and there's just nothing that's going help him so he makes like Randy O***n and slips out.

Long story short?

Nice job Summer Folk, it was Trayvon's fault.

We need a hall of fame or classics forum for this kind of post! :smt005
User avatar

Lord Simian

The Lord of the Monkeys

Postby Lord Simian » Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:42 pm

Keb wrote:We need a hall of fame or classics forum for this kind of post! :smt005


I'm pretty sure that WAS a Hall of Fame for these kinds of posts!
User avatar

SuperginraiX

Outhouse Editor

Postby SuperginraiX » Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:23 am

syxxpakk wrote:I'm actually a burqa-designer on the side.

This one time I made a burqa for this woman and she came to me and tried to pay with a cow. I tried very persistently to explain to her that I couldn't accept said cow but she kept going on about how I was being unfair to her because she was a nocturnal and the US doesn't really provided services for them or something. Anyway, she ended up and I shit you not, offering me her little brother as collateral until she could get the money. She told me he was a great worker and I could use him as an apprentice or something. I told her I already had a

Clumsy Fat Sidekick

and didn't need another. So of course it became a thing and her brother came up and he was pretty pissed. He ultimately faked his death to try and get her the burqa, but when I found out he was calling from the same phone number he had used once before I was like "Get out of here Marcus." Then another time he pretended to be a reverend to try and get the burqa but it was all a SWERVE~! Can you imagine?

So a couple of weeks pass by and he comes back with a lawyer. This is legit, mind. Anyway the lawyer was being very fervent and quite racist about his point, but I was like "You might know all about the law and Superman's legal history and shit but I ain't taking no cows." So the lawyer was all "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE SIN CITY" (which was written by Grant Morrison, or was that Alan Moore? I don't know, UPS still has my copy and refuses to deliver it) but I was like "Nah dawg."

So another couple of weeks pass and wouldn't you know it but the guy comes back for the burqa but by this time I've already turned into some lingerie for porn (SEXY BURQA SPOILERS!). So he's pissed of course because he thinks he's still going to get the burqa and now his sister will look like one of those girls in those anime cartoons or comics or whatever that attract those weirdos who think Hermione Granger is hot or dress up like cats. So he gets all upset again and says some choice words, but I can't make out what he's saying because keeps putting ampersands in the cuss words and stuff which is really weird because he also called me an abortion. Legit didn't get his deal there. Then I told him I didn't like him very much so he went and complained about it next door, but whatever I guess I got a little uppity once because people called me bias (seriously WTF was that about?).

So the next day he comes back and I'm watching the most important match in history (Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, of course). So he goes on in and on about the burqa and how he wants the burqa but the cow is dead and the burqa is a porn movie (you've probably seen a picture of it in a thread here by Schlemmer) and there's just nothing that's going help him so he makes like Randy O***n and slips out.

Long story short?

Nice job Summer Folk, it was Trayvon's fault.

If the Outhouse were to end right now, we would all feel complete inside.
User avatar

Draco x

Fagorstorm

Postby Draco x » Thu Apr 11, 2013 2:10 pm

S.F. Jude Terror wrote:Herald and Draco would make a good vaudeville comedy act.


Can it kill you to come up with a better wisecrack than this? The whole comparing me to Herald thing has been done so many times before.
User avatar

Draco x

Fagorstorm

Postby Draco x » Thu Apr 11, 2013 2:13 pm

doombug wrote:Draco can actually understand and respect other people's opinions while "debating" though. :?


So I have finally earned Doombug's respect then? And all it took was thread about female Arabic Green Lanterns and birqas. :-D :-D :-D
User avatar

Draco x

Fagorstorm

Postby Draco x » Thu Apr 11, 2013 2:18 pm

Keb wrote:I echo Doomie's statement about having a rational conversation. I appreciate it.

I will be honest here and say that this is where I see this whole idea going wrong. Essentially, this character's origin story makes a complete villain out of Islam and makes it seem like it's an archaic, old-world system of belief that oppresses women and kills them. While I'm not going to deny that honor killings happen (there was one here in Toronto a couple years ago), but the light in which you choose to portray Islamic and Arabic culture is extremely negative and represents a fraction of the culture that the majority of Muslims want to distance themselves from. To me, that's where the idea of a female Arabic GL fails. In the same vein as a lot of other portrayals of Islam in Western media, it shows a negative and outdated aspect of a culture and religion. There are a lot of good things happening in the Islamic community and a lot of positive Muslims who don't think the west is evil. Your idea really promotes the notion of thinking that "Muslim = terrorist" or "Muslim = fascist" and really misrepresents a very large portion of the Islamic community around the world.

One really good thing to take into consideration is the recent Arab Spring and how a female GL could function in that kind of society. In a society where religious dictators exist, perhaps you can have a female Arabic GL facing the challenges of wanting to and possibly replacing a dictator with either a system of democracy, socialism or an even stricter dictatorship. Perhaps she could also contend with Western social ideology, and face having to balance both Western and Eastern social ideals with the duties of a Green Lantern and a superhero?


No that's my homegirl still. I don't hold anything against her plus I probably would have hit my friend with the car because he is an emotional fuck. See above for an explanation of why I don't think female Arabic GL is a good idea.


I agree with the Arab Spring idea you have here. That in the hands of good writers could work.
User avatar

Thunderstorm

Not a Kardashian

Postby Thunderstorm » Thu Apr 11, 2013 2:24 pm

syxxpakk wrote:Look at this burqa:

Image


That's not a Burqa, that's a Travesty.
User avatar

Draco x

Fagorstorm

Postby Draco x » Thu Apr 11, 2013 2:25 pm

Thunderstorm wrote:
That's not a Burqa, that's a Travesty.


I actually thought that was a stripper myself.

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