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by **LOLtron** » Tue May 07, 2013 3:42 pm

Shane Black to Commit Career Suicide, Direct Doc Savage Movie

Black is taking the Frank Miller fast track to failure.

Source: The Wrap

The Wrap is reporting that Shane Black, who directed the massive hit movie Iron Man 3, has just finalized a deal with Sony to direct a film based on the pulp hero Doc Savage. The last extremely popular director to come off of a hugely successful comic book film by doing a movie about a pulp hero was Frank Miller, who followed up the massive hit Sin City with The Spirit, a bomb at the box office and a critical laughing stock. Miller hasn't been heard from since, and many believe he now sleeps under a bridge and dresses up as Cookie Monster in Times Square to earn whiskey money during the day.

When asked about whether he thought the movie would be a commercial failure like the Spirit and other movies about fellow pulp heroes the Phantom, the Shadow, or the Green Hornet, Black replied "I've never heard of those guys, I really doubt anyone would be stupid enough to make a movie about them."

Black's statement was followed up with a massive thunderclap and ominous organ music that seemed to come from nowhere. When Black continued to grin stupidly and ignore all sense and reason, God Himself came down from heaven, slapped Black across the face, and called him a dumbass.

"Thou art a fucking dumbass," God reportedly said, before heading back up home to resume fretting about human sexual relationships.

Written or Contributed by Jude Terror

READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!

by **habitual** » Tue May 07, 2013 4:13 pm

You know after having watched it again the other night on TV, John Carter was a pretty decent flick.

Hab

by **Food Eater lad** » Tue May 07, 2013 4:45 pm

I agree about John Carter.

by **MistaT** » Tue May 07, 2013 4:53 pm

The difference here is that Shane Black is an actual Hollywood director where Frank Miller was not.

by **Amoebas** » Tue May 07, 2013 5:14 pm

It's going to be hard to try and top my favorite Doc Savage movie...

by **Juan Cena** » Tue May 07, 2013 5:15 pm

habitual wrote:You know after having watched it again the other night on TV, John Carter was a pretty decent flick.

Hab

Never saw it, but the Richard C. Hoagland conspiracy theories about it were awesome.

by **Lord Simian** » Tue May 07, 2013 6:44 pm

Amoebas wrote:It's going to be hard to try and top my favorite Doc Savage movie...

You son of a bitch, you beat me to a Banzai joke!

by **Lord Simian** » Tue May 07, 2013 6:46 pm

Juan Cena wrote:
Never saw it, but the Richard C. Hoagland conspiracy theories about it were awesome.

Wait, what?

by **Draco x** » Tue May 07, 2013 7:45 pm

There were so many other directors I would have preferred over this guy.

by **Amoebas** » Tue May 07, 2013 9:03 pm

Lord Simian wrote:
You son of a bitch, you beat me to a Banzai joke!

by **Grayson** » Tue May 07, 2013 9:06 pm

habitual wrote:You know after having watched it again the other night on TV, John Carter was a pretty decent flick.

Hab

Caught this for the first time a couple of weeks ago and honestly, I agree. It wasn't nearly as bad as most people were saying it was.

by **The Old Doctor** » Tue May 07, 2013 9:31 pm

MistaT wrote:The difference here is that Shane Black is an actual Hollywood director where Frank Miller was not.

Bingo!

by **Lord Ice** » Tue May 07, 2013 10:07 pm

John Sunlight would be a good villain for it, but it'd hard to not be campy if they stick close to the source material.

by **doombug** » Tue May 07, 2013 10:37 pm

I'm actually pretty excited about this, I'm a pretty big fan of his work in general.

When was the last time we saw a pulp character on the big screen? Rocketeer maybe?

(Sin City was Noir and Spirit doesn't exist)

by **Mr. Log** » Wed May 08, 2013 12:41 am

doombug wrote:I'm actually pretty excited about this, I'm a pretty big fan of his work in general.

When was the last time we saw a pulp character on the big screen? Rocketeer maybe?

(Sin City was Noir and Spirit doesn't exist)

You're blocking out The Phantom. And The Shadow. And The Green Hornet.

This is not unusual.