Friday, April 20, 2018 • Afternoon Edition • "Ban Herald ASAP!"
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Uncle Rich has a Legion rumor.
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Hey you! Reader! Want to be a part of the GREATEST COMIC BOOK AND GEEK COMMUNITY on the web?! Well, they're not accepting new members, but we'll take anyone here, so why not sign up for a free acount? It's fast and it's easy, like your mom! Sign up today! Membership spots are limited!*
*Membership spots not really limited!
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Meanwhile, at a Time Warner executive meeting... Time J. Warner (President of Time Warner): Harumph! This meeting is called to order! Read the agenda! Executive: First up, profits are up in our cable division. Time J. Warner: Skip that. Executive: Movies are doing well... Time J. Warner: Who cares about movies? Get to the important stuff! Dan Didio: Of course. Comics! Time J. Warner: How is The Legion? Dan Didio: It's canceled. (Everyone in the room gasps. The Chief Financial Officer faints.) Time J. Warner: WHAT?! Canceled?! The Legion?! Dan Didio: The sales were down! I had no choice! Time J. Warner: I told you the neo-classic Legion was ruining the franchise! Dan Didio: B-b-but... Time J. Warner (pounding on the conference table): The Legion doesn't work in a dystopian future! Dan Didio: It's the media! They're bullies! Time J. Warner: It's too late! I could take the declining sales! I could deal with the creator walkouts! The editorial bungling! Bad PR! The bombing of Green Lantern as a movie franchise! Hiring a known homophobe to write a prominent Superman book... (Two hours later) Time J. Warner: ...Trying to kill off John Stewart! Hiring Rob Liefeld to write and draw seventeen books! Watchmen toasters! HasDCDoneAnythingStupid Today.com!... (Two hours later) Time J. Warner: ..."Toxic" characters! The obsession with the number 52! Firing your most prominent female writer via email! Letting Rob Liefeld take the moral high ground after quitting! Hiring Bob Harras! And blacklisting a small-time comic book site in a public and humorous way thereby giving them more attention than they ever would have had if you just ignored their emails! (Dan Didio gulps.) Time J. Warner: But canceling Legion of Super Heroes? Now you've gone too far. Dan Didio: You mean? Time J. Warner: I should have done what Juan Cena has been suggesting all this time. You're all fired. |
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 If anyone can save this flailing franchise he can. Hab |
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Funniest post of the month! Loved it. Made me laugh. A lot! |
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Because Doom Patrol, Threshold and Omac sold like hotcakes, right? 
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That was a loooong meeting |
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Long for you, funny for us. |
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