FBtron wrote:It's sad that so many men react with such hostility toward issues involving women's equality. There is too often an immediate dismissal of an issue at hand without even once considering the other parties' feelings. With this particular issue, it isn't just one woman, nor is it just an Internet issue for "ridiculous" feminists but an issue that many women and men are strongly speaking out against. This is not something that was created by women to bash men about but an issue created by insecure guys out there to refer to their "condition" of "entitlement" to a woman's body.
These men, whether teenagers or young adults, are indeed males who have befriended a woman specifically thinking that because he is a "nice guy" she'll put out and are angered when she doesn't. The term "friend zoned" is also used when a guy has been "let down" by a female friend and his male friend is putting down the girl who did it - instead of simply saying something positive, such as, "that bites, man, I feel for you, but you'll find someone else - besides, she may be right... You guys are tight, you wouldn't want to chance wrecking it," it goes like, "that bitch just friend zoned you. You're not going to let it slide are you?" Or, " you were even there for her when her sister died! She *hugged* you! She sent out the signals! She sooo friend zoned you!"
In general, the term is being used by dejected males who then proceed to very vocally bash the object of affection. Websites are being created by these males who gather their friends or strangers who agree with them to "call out" and put down these women for not having sex with them. It isn't just a crush or falling in love and then they're hurt, it's specifically about these guys believing they're entitled to the woman's body because they were nice to her and "understanding."
Because these guys "allowed" the women their shoulder to cry on, or to do something else "emasculating," such as telling the female her hair looked nice, they *expect* that the female will f--- them. Once the male has been rejected, they've been "friend zoned", which is as almost as bad, if not worse, than being murdered.
As for me, growing up as a *legitimate* "nice guy" I was disappointed and hurt at times to be rejected by someone I had romantic feelings toward but I got over it. If there was anger, it faded, and I never thought I should literally create havoc for the object of my feelings, and I certainly never felt I was owed anything. In addition, I look back on the times where "it would wreck the friendship" as times I'm now grateful for, as indeed it would have wrecked things - a deep emotional relationship with someone can be rewarding without romantic love or sex. It is disturbing then that young men are now creating such relationships as opportunities to be "owed" a woman's body and that there are those who believe this way of thought is not something to be concerned about.
Would you like a little cheese with that self-righteous misinformed crock of horse shit?
The idea of the "friend zone" stems from rejection, yes, but it does NOT solely apply solely to men who feel sexually entitled to a woman because they befriend her.
Part of it stems from the emotional turmoil created by the rejection knowing that you're only so good and that you'll essentially never stand chance.with someone you feel strongly for. It's an added insult that person won't actually reciprocate romantic feelings but would like you to continue to provide the support for them as though the hurt is not really a thing that you should be allowed to feel.
"I don't feel the same way about you but I think we should still be friends." Is a very ignorant thing to say to a person. It shows that the rejecting party is actually quite selfish, wanting that person to keep up their level of emotional commitment to the relationship since they don't want to lose their support system.
The problem actually stems from people not knowing how to treat each other fairly or considerately. The best way to deal with being "friend zoned" is to walk away from that person and move on. It's true, but people will actually guilt you for walking away from the friendship. Even worse, some people hold out hope that the person will turn around and decide to date a friend because they are led to believe that some kind of relationship is better than no relationship at all.
It's not a misogyny thing despite what people want to turn it into. It's a miseducation issue. It's because we are learning right and wrong from movies, books and music that is over-idealized or skewed and applying it to everyday life. We're not learning life by living it, we're learning it by watching it, reading it and listening to it.
Gender equality doesn't mean everyone is treated the same. Gender equality means everyone is understood and treated accordingly. People need to be okay with others being hurt by rejection. It's part of life. There's no reason why anyone should torture another person.
A couple years ago, I met a girl, we became friends, I started liking her and she called me an awful person for it. Probably was the best thing that ever happened to me.