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syxxpakk wrote:I'm actually a burqa-designer on the side.
This one time I made a burqa for this woman and she came to me and tried to pay with a cow. I tried very persistently to explain to her that I couldn't accept said cow but she kept going on about how I was being unfair to her because she was a nocturnal and the US doesn't really provided services for them or something. Anyway, she ended up and I shit you not, offering me her little brother as collateral until she could get the money. She told me he was a great worker and I could use him as an apprentice or something. I told her I already had a
Clumsy Fat Sidekick
and didn't need another. So of course it became a thing and her brother came up and he was pretty pissed. He ultimately faked his death to try and get her the burqa, but when I found out he was calling from the same phone number he had used once before I was like "Get out of here Marcus." Then another time he pretended to be a reverend to try and get the burqa but it was all a SWERVE~! Can you imagine?
So a couple of weeks pass by and he comes back with a lawyer. This is legit, mind. Anyway the lawyer was being very fervent and quite racist about his point, but I was like "You might know all about the law and Superman's legal history and shit but I ain't taking no cows." So the lawyer was all "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE SIN CITY" (which was written by Grant Morrison, or was that Alan Moore? I don't know, UPS still has my copy and refuses to deliver it) but I was like "Nah dawg."
So another couple of weeks pass and wouldn't you know it but the guy comes back for the burqa but by this time I've already turned into some lingerie for porn (SEXY BURQA SPOILERS!). So he's pissed of course because he thinks he's still going to get the burqa and now his sister will look like one of those girls in those anime cartoons or comics or whatever that attract those weirdos who think Hermione Granger is hot or dress up like cats. So he gets all upset again and says some choice words, but I can't make out what he's saying because keeps putting ampersands in the cuss words and stuff which is really weird because he also called me an abortion. Legit didn't get his deal there. Then I told him I didn't like him very much so he went and complained about it next door, but whatever I guess I got a little uppity once because people called me bias (seriously WTF was that about?).
So the next day he comes back and I'm watching the most important match in history (Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat, of course). So he goes on in and on about the burqa and how he wants the burqa but the cow is dead and the burqa is a porn movie (you've probably seen a picture of it in a thread here by Schlemmer) and there's just nothing that's going help him so he makes like Randy O***n and slips out.
Long story short?
Nice job Summer Folk, it was Trayvon's fault.