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Marvel Universe Changed Forever One Day Early as Age of Ultron Ending Leaks

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LOLtron

Rain Partier

Postby LOLtron » Tue Jun 18, 2013 10:23 am

Marvel Universe Changed Forever One Day Early as Age of Ultron Ending Leaks

Thanks to a leaked copy of Age of Ultron #10, the Marvel Universe was forced to change forever earlier than expected due to the earth-shattering consequences of the super-mega-crossover event.



Source: The Internets

Well, we all knew it was going to happen, and it did. Age of Ultron was spoiled before its release, all over the internets, and even on our own forums (SPOILERS AT LINK). And while Marvel Comics was fully prepared to have the status quo of the Marvel Universe irrevocably altered by the mind-blowing finale that was so shocking and secret only Marvel head honcho Joe Quesada could draw it, they were planning for all of that to happen on Wednesday, June 22nd, not Tuesday, June 21st. This little detail changed everything.

"Aaaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhhh!" shouted one Marvel intern when we asked him for comment. "Aaaaagggghhhhhhhhhh!!!"

"Aaaaaaaaggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" he added, on fire.

"How could this happen?!" cried a beleaguered Joe Quesada. "We took measures to prevent this. Polybags, goddamn it! Polybags!"

But despite the elaborate security tactic of putting the comics inside sealed plastic bags, Marvel's plans were thrown into complete disarray when some douchebag opened one of the bags and found out what happens in the book before the comic was officially released. And then, in what is known in the industry as "a dick move," this person told other people what happened in the book on the internet. It's crazy, but it's true.

And now, nothing will ever be the same. We spoke to renowned Professor of Comic Books and HVAC Repair at Devry UniversityDr. Philip P. Blunderbuss, who told us, "it is so a real university! We're accredited and everything!"

But what about the spoilers?

"Nuttin' will ever be da same!" shouted Blunderbuss, slipping into a thick New Jersey accent when agitated.

Nothing will ever be the same.

"Ah, fuck it," decided Quesada, resigned. We were gonna spoil it in an article in USA Today on Tuesday anyway.

Age of Ultron #10 hits stores tomorrow.



Written or Contributed by Jude Terror


READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!
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guitarsmashley

Regular-Sized Poster

Postby guitarsmashley » Tue Jun 18, 2013 10:48 am

What's surprising is that it hit the internet before the New York Post.
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sdsichero

2k11 Outhouse People's Champion

Postby sdsichero » Tue Jun 18, 2013 11:43 am

It's a tear in the polybag
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StarCruncher

Outhouse Drafter

Postby StarCruncher » Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:05 pm

Ulysses Archer delivered the comics that were spoiled.

True story.
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LoatheMe

expert hobo killer

Postby LoatheMe » Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:52 pm

Is it still spoiled when nothing at all happened that we didn't already know about?
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Draco x

biny little tird

Postby Draco x » Wed Jun 19, 2013 1:09 am

LoatheMe wrote:Is it still spoiled when nothing at all happened that we didn't already know about?



:-D :-D :-D :-D
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habitual

Silly French Man

Postby habitual » Wed Jun 19, 2013 7:12 am

It's official, we're going way overboard on the snark.

I only read about the first paragraph in our articles nowadays.

Hab
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Tintin Quarantino

Rain Partier

Postby Tintin Quarantino » Wed Jun 19, 2013 7:52 am

I thought it was a lower-res digital copy? I thought I read that somewhere, but I dunno.
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IvCNuB4

Staff Writer

Postby IvCNuB4 » Wed Jun 19, 2013 7:42 pm

habitual wrote:It's official, we're going way overboard on the snark.

I only read about the first paragraph in our articles nowadays.

Hab


Still isn't anywhere near as bad as the endless scrolling/War & Peace-length Rules & Regulations/Dos And Don'ts of The Moment Of The Week nomination threads :lol:

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