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New 52 Anniversary Celebration Goes Awry During Blurred Lines Performance

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LOLtron

Rain Partier

Postby LOLtron » Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:45 pm

New 52 Anniversary Celebration Goes Awry During Blurred Lines Performance

An ill-advised duet between Dan Didio and Bob Harras provoked angry reactions from disgusted fans.



Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Fans were shocked and disgusted Thursday afternoon after a press event celebrating the two year anniversary of DC Comics New 52 showcased outrageous behavior from DC executives Dan Didio and Bob Harras. The celebration started off innocently enough, with Dan Didio taking the stage at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York to thank fans for supporting the reboot and helping to make it a success. He showed some slides on a big projector screen hyping September's Villain's Month, a gimmicky clusterfuck of 3D variant covers that rivals the original reboot in September, 2011 in terms of brazen, short-sighted greed.

After the self-aggrandizement was finished, Didio introduced the rest of DC's executive team: Co-Publisher Jim Lee, Chief Creative Officer Geoff Johns, and Editor in Chief Bob Harras. The group then entered a Q session, which Harras described as being "like a Q&A session, except we won't answer of the questions, so it's just Q." The execs dodged dozens of very interesting fan questions, including questions about their shoddy treatment of creators, editorial interference, cheap marketing gimmicks, and mistreatment of minority characters.

When that was done, the lights went out and the execs went into a musical performance, singing a medley of popular songs from the past two years to represent everything that's happened since the DCU rebooted in September, 2011. The whole thing culminated in a duet between Didio and Harras of Robin Thicke's hit song of the summer, Blurred Lines.

"It was simultaneously the most hilarious and most disgusting thing I've ever seen," said Catherine McHugh, a fan who attended the event, who had a blank stare in her eyes like a vicitm of post traumatic stress disorder. "Whenever I hear the song now, I start violently throwing up."

Just then, a car passed by blaring the song loudly from its stereo.

"Incoming!" McHugh shouted, diving behind some trash cans for cover.

How could a simple musical performance have caused such damage? To answer that, we'll have to look back at the event.

"That's why I'm gonna take a good girl," crooned Didio, dressed in a black and white striped suit as he belted out his own version of the already misogynistic lyrics which seemed to focus on 'toxic' characters Stephanie Brown and Cassandra Cain. "You know you want it. You know you want it."

"What do they make dreams for?" sang Didio as an image of Barbara Gordon flashed on the screen behind him. "When you got that cowl on, what do we need Steph for? You're the hottest b**** in this place."

It was crude and uncalled for, and extremely offensive, not only to women, but to music and comics fans everywhere. However, Didio's surprisingly on-key rendition was nowhere near the most shocking part of the event. It was Harras, who stripped down to a tight, flesh toned bikini and performed a sexual dance called Twerking as Didio sang, that had fans vomiting in their seats.

"I'm legally blind after watching that," said John Shipe, another fan in attendance at the event who had large, bloody bandages covering his eyes. "It was just too much. When Harras started shaking and grinding on Didio, I took my thumbs and just gouged my eyes out."

"I don't regret it," he told us, lifting the bandages to show us the gruesome holes where his eyes once were. "Not as much as I would have regretted seeing Harras Twerk."

As of press time, DC had not responded to inquiries about the controversy, most of which were phrased something like "what the fuck were you thinking?!" Nevertheless, The Outhouse has obtained exclusive footage of the event, which you can view below, though we recommend you don't, because it is truly shocking and revolting.

 

 

Are you sure?

 

 

Okay then:

 

 

 

Don't say we didn't warn you.



Written or Contributed by Jude Terror




READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!
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CountD

Undead Member

Postby CountD » Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:52 pm

twerking s/b done in the privacy of one's own home. Most of the time....
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Eric Ratcliffe

Staff Writer

Postby Eric Ratcliffe » Thu Aug 29, 2013 3:05 pm

there are just no words here Jude. :smt005
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xaraan

Staff Writer

Postby xaraan » Thu Aug 29, 2013 3:06 pm

:lol:
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Zechs

Outhouse Editor

Postby Zechs » Thu Aug 29, 2013 4:09 pm

:lol:
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bkthomson

Rain Partier

Postby bkthomson » Thu Aug 29, 2013 5:15 pm

:shock:
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Herald

Hopscotch

Postby Herald » Thu Aug 29, 2013 5:17 pm

:smt011
























Also, :lol:
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S.F. Jude Terror

OMCTO

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Thu Aug 29, 2013 5:22 pm

I made this thing (29 grueling frames of head placement) and I still can't stop looking at it.
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Levi Caverly

FACEBOOKTron

Postby Levi Caverly » Thu Aug 29, 2013 5:30 pm

KILL IT. KILL IT WITH FIRE!
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Supersoldier Washout

Zombie Guard

Postby Supersoldier Washout » Thu Aug 29, 2013 8:19 pm

Why?

I mean, I'm new here. I like the snark and stuff.

But why?

Why would you cause me nightmares with that gif?

I feel I'm being punished.
User avatar

Lord Simian

The Lord of the Monkeys

Postby Lord Simian » Fri Aug 30, 2013 7:47 am

Supersoldier Washout wrote:Why?

I mean, I'm new here. I like the snark and stuff.

But why?

Why would you cause me nightmares with that gif?

I feel I'm being punished.



Welcome to the Outhouse, Supersoldier Washout....


Hope you survive the experience!

Evan Meadow

Motherfucker from Hell

Postby Evan Meadow » Fri Aug 30, 2013 9:02 am

You know, they might have taken us off the banned list for the anniversary.

Then you had to go do this. :D

You're trying to get them to lecture Zechs again aren't you?
User avatar

Zechs

Outhouse Editor

Postby Zechs » Fri Aug 30, 2013 11:40 am

Evan Meadow wrote:You know, they might have taken us off the banned list for the anniversary.

Then you had to go do this. :D

You're trying to get them to lecture Zechs again aren't you?


If I'm going into the lion's den again I'm dragging diarydead and Sarah with me.

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