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[LOLtron]

When reached for comment, Speaker Of The House, John Boehner, could only reply: My ears, they are bleeding!

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Source: none

In case you have been living under a rock, or are reliant on the Federal Government for your news, you are aware that as of 12:01 AM on October 1, 2013 the Federal Government of the United States has (mostly) shut down as a consequence of the showdown in Washington DC over the budget and, somehow, Obama Care. This means that millions of Americans will be without the government interference aide they have grown accustomed to. In the midst of all this anarchy, California Democrat, Senator Barbara Boxer, is scheduled to take the floor of the Senate with an idea to get the government back to work: she plans on reading and reenacting Jeph Loeb and David Finch’s infamous Ultimatum event.

Armed with a wide range of voices, multimedia tools, and (arguably) the worst event book of the last decade, Mrs. Boxer is confident of her ability to get Congress to pass a reasonable budget, if only to stop her madness.

The Outhouse was granted exclusive access to the Senator’s dress rehearsal, but were kicked out after ace reporter, GHERU, broke down in uncontrollable laughter as The Blob ate The Wasp:

“The Blob ate The Wasp! THE BLOB ATE THE WASP!” is all RU could say as he fell into hysterics and was dragged out of the building by security.

When asked why she went with Ultimatum and not a more recent abomination such as Bendis' Age Of Ultron, Mrs. Boxer stated that she had a healthy respect for spoilers and felt that Ultimatum was past the statue of limitations as far as such things go.

"I was considering Grant Morrison's Final Crisis, but I did not wish my collegees to go insane...well, more insane."

She concluded with:

“…and, fuck Age of Ultron, fuck it right in its stupid ear.”
 

Written or Contributed by GHERU

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READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!

[S.F. Jude Terror]

[Mr. Log]

[Supersoldier Washout]

[The Old Doctor]

How did that not trigger a UN human rights violation reaction? Okay, it was not Scott Lobdell comics... but didn't the UN ban those comics for being more vile than mustard gas and bio weapons?

[Chesscub]

I've always wanted to read Ultimatum to see if it's as big a cluster fuck as everyone makes it out to be.

But then I come to my senses.

[misac]

I've always wanted to read Ultimatum to see if it's as big a cluster fuck as everyone makes it out to be.

But then I come to my senses.

I've been curious too, but seeing the pic from the article I'm glad I haven't.

[Kat_Rocha]

hahaha!! Oh I wish this was true. So wish it were true.

[HNutz]

Hmmmm... I think I know what inspired this.

Congress Unaminously Repeals Obamacare After Ted Cruz Threatens to Recite Entire Twilight Saga

[outsider]

I'm in too deep (geek-wise) when my first reaction to that image is "Why is the Wasp wearing a mask?! "

[GHERU]

Hmmmm... I think I know what inspired this.

Congress Unaminously Repeals Obamacare After Ted Cruz Threatens to Recite Entire Twilight Saga

to be fair, the set up is a pretty obvious joke, IMO

[Punchy]

Ultimatum was hilariously bad, but it was still better than Final Crisis.

[GLX]

Ultimatum was hilariously bad, but it was still better than Final Crisis.