When reached for comment, Speaker Of The House, John Boehner, could only reply: My ears, they are bleeding!
In case you have been living under a rock, or are reliant on the Federal Government for your news, you are aware that as of 12:01 AM on October 1, 2013 the Federal Government of the United States has (mostly) shut down as a consequence of the showdown in Washington DC over the budget and, somehow, Obama Care. This means that millions of Americans will be without the government
interference aide they have grown accustomed to. In the midst of all this anarchy, California Democrat, Senator Barbara Boxer, is scheduled to take the floor of the Senate with an idea to get the government back to work: she plans on reading and reenacting Jeph Loeb and David Finch’s infamous Ultimatum event.
Armed with a wide range of voices, multimedia tools, and (arguably) the worst event book of the last decade, Mrs. Boxer is confident of her ability to get Congress to pass a reasonable budget, if only to stop her madness.
The Outhouse was granted exclusive access to the Senator’s dress rehearsal, but were kicked out after ace reporter, GHERU, broke down in uncontrollable laughter as The Blob ate The Wasp:
“The Blob ate The Wasp! THE BLOB ATE THE WASP!” is all RU could say as he fell into hysterics and was dragged out of the building by security.
When asked why she went with Ultimatum and not a more recent abomination such as Bendis' Age Of Ultron, Mrs. Boxer stated that she had a healthy respect for spoilers and felt that Ultimatum was past the statue of limitations as far as such things go.
"I was considering Grant Morrison's Final Crisis, but I did not wish my collegees to go insane...well, more insane."
She concluded with:
“…and, fuck Age of Ultron, fuck it right in its stupid ear.”
Written or Contributed by GHERU
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