Advertisement

Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps Changing His Car

Discuss the latest comic book news and front page articles, read or post your own reviews of comics, and talk about anything comic book related. Threads from the two subforums below will also show up here. News Stand topics can also be read and posted in from The Asylum.

Hey you! Reader! Want to be a part of the GREATEST COMIC BOOK AND GEEK COMMUNITY on the web?! Logged in users see WAY LESS ADS, so why not register? It's fast and it's easy, like your mom! Sign up today! Membership spots are limited!*

*Membership spots not really limited!

LOLtron
User avatar
YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 24853
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 203 posts
Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 1:54 pm


Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps Changing His Car

Postby LOLtron » Tue Oct 08, 2013 10:27 am

Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps Changing His Car

An Ohio man who was one of the first to obtain an official Superman license plate is already suffering from DC Comics' editorial interference.



Source: Cleveland.com

After years of living in places like Cleveland, residents of Ohio finally had something to look forward when the state announced over the summer that it would be producing official Superman variant license plates in October. The moment of redemption for the beleaguered citizens of what many consider to be the worst state in the union other than Florida finally arrived this morning, as the plates were unveiled outside the home of late Superman co-creator Jerry Seigel in Cleveland. Because Cleveland is as close as a city can come to being an apocalyptic wasteland without being Detroit, nobody apparently bothered to take a picture. However, both Cleveland.com and Ohio's BMV site have posted mockups of the plate, which you can see below, and you can also see it in the embedded video. Anyway, while this hullabaloo was going on in Cleveland, Columbus Ohio resident Victor Squid, after standing in line for 76 hours waiting for the plates to go on sale, became one of the first lucky drivers to own an official Ohio Superman license plate... and the first man to suffer the dire consequences.

"My first thought when I got the plate was that it looked really nice, you know. Really sharp," Squid told us. "Of course, I put it on my car right away."

That's when things started to go wrong.

"That's when things started to go wrong," Squid continued. I was driving to work in the morning, and i know for a fact I got in my car because my key worked and everything. During the drive, I felt the car bumping and shaking a little bit, but I didn't give it much thought because I live in Ohio and everything here is in a constant state of disrepair. But when I arrived at work, you won't believe what I found."

When Squid got out of his car, he noticed that his beige 1992 Buick Impala had been transformed into a gray 1988 Dodge Dart.

"I'm sure that I drove an Impala," Squid insisted, denying justifiably believable rumors that he was on drugs or going insane due to living in Ohio. "Rather than being mad, I just kept thing how odd it was that, if my car is going to magically transform, it would be into to another model as completely unremarkable as the first. I would like to drive a Camaro or something cool, you know? Or maybe a Prius, if it's going to be sensible."

Bewildered, Squid decided to go about his day and deal with the car later. But when he returned to the parking lot during his coffee break to admire his brand new license plate, he was in for the second shock of the day. The gray Dart had become a 1994 Oldsmobile Achieva.

"At that point, I was like, what the fuck?" complained a visibly annoyed Squid. "I mean, there's no reason for this. And if my car is going to change, I would at least like some warning, you know. It shouldn't change at the last minute, when I've become used to the car that I already have and made plans for what I'm going to do with it in the future."

Now the situation was starting to sound familiar. Following our instinct, we called up DC Comics Co-Publisher Dan Didio on the direct hotline we keep to DC's offices for whenever we need to make up quotes by their executives.

"Yes, DC is retconning the cars of people who have the Superman license plate," Didio admitted. "We've got all of our staff on this currently. We're hoping to change peoples' cars three, maybe four times a day."

Um... why?

"Because we can," Didio explained. "The laws for copyright in this country are so fucked up, it turns out that if you put a Superman license plate on your car, the car becomes our intellectual property. And as our intellectual property, we want to make sure that your car represents the most marketable, iconic image conducive to future cross-branding opportunities."

And an Oldsmobile Achieva is more marketable than a Chevy Impala?

"No, we don't think that," Didio told us. "That was over an hour ago. Now we like mid-nineties Plymouth Neons."

What?

"We're constantly changing our mind, so we just keep changing the cars," he added.

Hasn't DC learned anything from all the recent creators storming off DC comic books in a huff due to last minute editorial changes? Surely DC would have a lot less trouble if they all just took time to decide what type of cars they really wanted before going off and making decisions that they later have to reverse, pissing people off. Or, even better, they could just let the people driving the cars decide what kind of cars to drive. Surely, DC would come to their senses and realize that changing the cars every few hours was not the answer to their problems.

"I've got it!" Didio suddenly shouted. "We'll make all of the cars 3D!"

What... no! We hung up the phone, and looked desperately at Squid. All around us, we heard the squeal of tires and crunch of metal as drivers, distracted by the sudden appearance of optical allusions on moving vehicles, crashed their cars. Squid, an Ohio resident, was unmoved by the screams of terror coming from nearby pedestrians.

"Oh, that looks kind of cool," Squid remarked while examining his 1989 Mercury Cougar, which was now emblazoned with a holographic 3D image of The Joker. "I wonder how much I could get for this on ebay?"









Written or Contributed by Jude Terror


READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!
Image

Advertisement

sdsichero
User avatar
2k11 Outhouse People's Champion
 
Posts: 69656
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 465 posts
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 10:25 pm
Location: Secret Base, Honolulu, HI
Title: All the good ones were taken
Formerly: beta-ray


Online


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby sdsichero » Tue Oct 08, 2013 12:13 pm

Squid was also angered because he was clearly wearing red underwear outside his pants when he got out of the car, and when he got out they were gone.
ImageImageImageImageImage

Herald
User avatar
biny little tird
 
Posts: 12681
Likes: 150 posts
Liked in: 275 posts
Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2008 11:47 pm
Title: Fun for the Whole Family!!


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby Herald » Tue Oct 08, 2013 12:18 pm

sdsichero wrote:Squid was also angered because he was clearly wearing red underwear outside his pants when he got out of the car, and when he got out they were gone.


Also, his clothes suddenly have far too many seams and other unnecessary lines all over it. And what was up with that ridiculous new high collar??!!

Victorian Squid
User avatar
YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 31777
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 2 posts
Joined: Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:04 am
Formerly: Schmormerly


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby Victorian Squid » Tue Oct 08, 2013 3:39 pm

Oh, the typos. "Optical allusions", eh? [insert head-shaking emoticon I have ad-blocked for some reason]

Plus I thought Dodge Darts were discontinued in '76. Helluva car, I'll take that one. You could fit two whole Judes in the backseat and still have room for the groceries.

Like the anti-Ohio sentiment tho.
Last edited by Victorian Squid on Tue Oct 08, 2013 3:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IvCNuB4
User avatar
Staff Writer
 
Posts: 10769
Likes: 419 posts
Liked in: 293 posts
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:51 am
Location: Chicago, IL
Title: Stop messing with my TITLE !


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby IvCNuB4 » Tue Oct 08, 2013 3:47 pm

How in the fuck do you come up with this article from the original source material ? :lol:
Victorian Squid wrote:In a DC/Marvel cross-over "all your favorite Marvel characters would catch contextually-transmitted diseases and Steph infections."

Victorian Squid
User avatar
YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 31777
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 2 posts
Joined: Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:04 am
Formerly: Schmormerly


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby Victorian Squid » Tue Oct 08, 2013 3:50 pm

IvCNuB4 wrote:How in the fuck do you come up with this article from the original source material ? :lol:


It's the first I've heard of these plates, actually, if there are such things. I just keep photocopying the same 30 tags and changing the dates, learned that one in Chicago. :wink:

S.F. Jude Terror
User avatar
OMCTO
 
Posts: 76128
Likes: 429 posts
Liked in: 627 posts
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:44 pm
Location: Up Your Ass
Title: Webmaster Supreme
Formerly: Dr. Jude Terror


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:03 pm

IvCNuB4 wrote:How in the fuck do you come up with this article from the original source material ? :lol:


Other sites would write: "The Superman license plates are available! They say Truth Justice and the American Way on the bottom." Then they would pad it with a bunch of fluff about shit everyone already knows about Superman and Cleveland. But the whole story can be summed up in one sentence: Ohio made superman license plates. So I looked for a different angle. It's my talent. :P
Image
I LOVE BLUD BLOOD! - Rob Liefeld

IvCNuB4
User avatar
Staff Writer
 
Posts: 10769
Likes: 419 posts
Liked in: 293 posts
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:51 am
Location: Chicago, IL
Title: Stop messing with my TITLE !


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby IvCNuB4 » Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:10 pm

"Talent". Uh huh :wink:

Victorian Squid wrote:In a DC/Marvel cross-over "all your favorite Marvel characters would catch contextually-transmitted diseases and Steph infections."

S.F. Jude Terror
User avatar
OMCTO
 
Posts: 76128
Likes: 429 posts
Liked in: 627 posts
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:44 pm
Location: Up Your Ass
Title: Webmaster Supreme
Formerly: Dr. Jude Terror


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:16 pm

IvCNuB4 wrote:"Talent". Uh huh :wink:



You mistake my lack of joke variety for a vendetta. :P
Image
I LOVE BLUD BLOOD! - Rob Liefeld

IvCNuB4
User avatar
Staff Writer
 
Posts: 10769
Likes: 419 posts
Liked in: 293 posts
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:51 am
Location: Chicago, IL
Title: Stop messing with my TITLE !


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby IvCNuB4 » Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:21 pm

I stand corrected. :lol:
Victorian Squid wrote:In a DC/Marvel cross-over "all your favorite Marvel characters would catch contextually-transmitted diseases and Steph infections."

Victorian Squid
User avatar
YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 31777
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 2 posts
Joined: Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:04 am
Formerly: Schmormerly


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby Victorian Squid » Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:27 pm

We have a vendetta now? I thought my vendetta was with some dude named sexxlakk or something.
Last edited by Victorian Squid on Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IvCNuB4
User avatar
Staff Writer
 
Posts: 10769
Likes: 419 posts
Liked in: 293 posts
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:51 am
Location: Chicago, IL
Title: Stop messing with my TITLE !


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby IvCNuB4 » Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:29 pm

"We" ? I wasn't aware that you and Jude were ... partners :groucho:
Victorian Squid wrote:In a DC/Marvel cross-over "all your favorite Marvel characters would catch contextually-transmitted diseases and Steph infections."

S.F. Jude Terror
User avatar
OMCTO
 
Posts: 76128
Likes: 429 posts
Liked in: 627 posts
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:44 pm
Location: Up Your Ass
Title: Webmaster Supreme
Formerly: Dr. Jude Terror


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:30 pm

IvCNuB4 wrote:I stand corrected. :lol:



Example: http://www.theouthousers.com/index.php/ ... d_man.html
Image
I LOVE BLUD BLOOD! - Rob Liefeld

S.F. Jude Terror
User avatar
OMCTO
 
Posts: 76128
Likes: 429 posts
Liked in: 627 posts
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:44 pm
Location: Up Your Ass
Title: Webmaster Supreme
Formerly: Dr. Jude Terror


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:31 pm

Victorian Squid wrote:We have a vendetta now? I thought my vendetta was with some dude named sexxlack or something.


:lol: deceptively complex burn.
Image
I LOVE BLUD BLOOD! - Rob Liefeld

Victorian Squid
User avatar
YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 31777
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 2 posts
Joined: Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:04 am
Formerly: Schmormerly


Re: Man With New Superman License Plate Upset That DC Keeps

Postby Victorian Squid » Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:37 pm

S.F. Jude Terror wrote:
:lol: deceptively complex burn.


Wrestling fans love those.

(That, and two mostly naked musclemen taking turns pinning each other to a mat.)

leave a comment with facebook

Next

Return to The News Stand



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bianco, Clockwork_Fish, FaceBook [Linkcheck], MSN NewsBlogs and 162 guests

Advertisement