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Comics in Peril: Christmas Instills Horror on Last Night's Halloween

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LOLtron
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Comics in Peril: Christmas Instills Horror on Last Night's Halloween

Postby LOLtron » Fri Nov 01, 2013 3:24 pm

Christmas Instills Horror on Last Night's Halloween

This year the jealous, er joyous holiday had an astonishing 8% presence. By 2018 Halloween experts project the Christmas presence to be ubiquitous. Even more shocking, experts have also forecasted that by 2020 Halloween will no longer even exist.




Fear has struck the comic book industry in America as the statistics come in from last night’s Halloween costume surveys. A growing number of superhero costumes have been slowly replaced over the years with Christmas themed costumes, but this year’s numbers have grown exponentially. The anticipation of Christmas has gone unchecked for decades now, and poses a serious threat to the comics industry’s hold over Halloween costumes. Americans everywhere fear that Christmas will take precedence over Halloween the same way it has for Thanksgiving.
 
The first costume survey was performed in 1975, when a mere half a percent of costumes were Christmas themed. In 1990, that number jumped to 3%. In 2005 there was a reported 5.5%. This year the jealous, er joyous holiday had an astonishing 8% presence amongst the costumed children. By 2018 Halloween experts project the Christmas presence to be ubiquitous. Even more shocking, experts have also forecasted that by 2020 Halloween will no longer even exist. God help us all. Think of the candy. Think of the children!
 
Proponents of Christmas have had this on their agenda for years. The grim, menacing nature of Halloween has stood in stark contrast to the chipper, bright nature of Christmas for centuries. While last night’s costumes may not be called a win for the Christmas industry, the climbing numbers of Jack Skellington, Kris Kringle, and Snowman costumes have put a not-so-welcome fright into the Halloween industry.
 
The Outhouse had a chance to interview a few of the offending trick-or-treaters.
 
The Outhouse: What’s this? What’s this? There’s color everywhere!
Offending Trick-or-Treater: Yes, The Outhouse. I dressed up as Jack Skellington, because I love Christmas and Halloween. It’s the perfect combination.
 
OH: What. Is. This?!
OToT: This is my little brother, dressed up as a Heartless Snowman. We couldn’t find him any better costumes, so we just took a white shirt and filled it with pillows. Oh, and he has no heart.
 
OH: Snowmen don’t have hearts anyway.
OToT: OMG, really?! AGHHH!
 
Some analysts propose that a retail aisle war will be waged on the ever-encroaching holiday in the following years, adding stress to an already stress-filled holiday season. While Marvel and DC have not commented on this foreboding disease called Christmas, they may say that it’s cancer to the costume industry. Costumes are the iconic backbone of comics, and to take away that industry would be like burying them alive. Halloween is the necessary evil in the holiday season, and we must preserve it to keep comics alive (for the children)!


Written or Contributed by Luke Anthony


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S.F. Jude Terror
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Re: Christmas Instills Horror on Last Night's Halloween

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Fri Nov 01, 2013 3:28 pm

Even worse, the war on Halloween is becoming like the War on Christmas! It's being called a "Fall Festival" in a lot of places, and costumes are banned in a lot of schools.
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