The Outhouse - The Greatest Comic Book Forum

[Wisdom000]

Welcome once again everyone to episode 4 of the Outhouse Dating Game, I am your host, Wisdom000, and I am here to help you find love, happiness, or maybe nothing more than a calloused handjob from a hobo in an alley.

The rules of the game are simple, our lucky contestant will have the choice of 3 of most eligible bachelors at the Outhouse, well the eligible ones without felonies on their records at least...

By asking a series of questions, our Contestant will determine who he wants to take out on a night on the town, an event paid for by the Outhouses very own John Lewis.

Meanwhile, you in the studio audience will get to cast your vote for who YOU want to see the contestant hook up with. The bachelor (or bachelorette) with the most votes will be given a free round one way trip to the Temple Of Sloth. Or at least you would if you could create polls here...

Without any further ado, lets introduce the bachelors...

Bachelor number one is the quiet sort, he tends to follow his objects of desire like a little poppu, which hopefully explains the dog collar. I tried to ask him a few questions about his interests, but he was wearing a ball gag, so all I got from him was "Pthhhbbbttttt SCHHHTTTT mrtithith gwawdawada." Maybe our contestant can get more out of him...

Bachelor number 2 is in the act of trying to fight legislation that keep track of his masterbatory habits, which are apparently to bizarre to mention here but include live squid, baby pacifiers, and rubber sheets....

Bachelor number 3 likes to tease hapless people with promises of and hopes, urging them to spend all their hard earned money on gifts and treats only to reject them in favor of the next conquest, savoring their bitter tears of agony and heartbreak...

Now with those charming people out of the way, lets introduce our first contestant.

Our contestant today claims to be Mexican, but in fact is a Mexi-can't, he is actually a Guamanian Pygmy who leads a shame filled life taking on jobs that even Mexican Day Laborers won't touch... This is probably why he is so angry all the time, but maybe a love connection will cheer him up, perhaps even give him something worth living for. At the very least it should make for some incredibly disturbing porn. Let's give a warm round of applause for Toolverine.

So Toolio, feel free to ask away, you can ask 9 questions. The bachelors will be answering through me to keep their identities secret, but rest assured their answers will be honest and forthcoming...

And tune in next week when our lucky contestant will be Kingofcities. Submit applications now for your chance to get busy with the guy who changes avatars more frequently than his underwear (which he actually doesn't change that often)....

[S.F. Jude Terror]

TOOLVERINE IS LIVID!!!

[toolverine]

Bachelor #1, what are you wearing right now?

[b.lumpkin]

This game is becoming my favorite thread to watch.

[Muppetesque]

Bachelor #1, what are you wearing right now?

Toolvie - it works better if you ask all 3 a question at the same time to start - at least it worked for mine...

[toolverine]

Toolvie - it works better if you ask all 3 a question at the same time to start - at least it worked for mine...

Play the game your own way, sister! I won't waste my questions like you did.

[Muppetesque]

Play the game your own way, sister! I won't waste my questions like you did.

LOL - you don't need to ask the same question,

[toolverine]

LOL - you don't need to ask the same question,

It clearly says "Bachelor #1". Don't you know how to read?

[Muppetesque]

It clearly says "Bachelor #1". Don't you know how to read?

:sigh:

I NO READ EL MEXICANO... ONLY ENGLISH

[McKegan]

Wow.

From the level of sexual tension in this thread I'd say tool has already met his match.

[b.lumpkin]

It clearly says "Bachelor #1". Don't you know how to read?

yo quiero taco bell

[Muppetesque]

Wow.

From the level of sexual tension in this thread I'd say tool has already met his match.

You really think Jude and Toolvie have a chance?

[toolverine]

:sigh:

I NO READ EL MEXICANO... ONLY ENGLISH

I'm amused by your grammatically incorrect sentence.

[Muppetesque]

I'm amused by your grammatically incorrect sentence.

When I go for a joke, I give it my all...

[Wisdom000]

Bachelor number 1 was quick to respond, setting a precedent for this show:
"What am I wearing?

Just the skin of a hobo. Which is really awkward since I'm at work."

Something tells me he likes to tuck it back and stand naked in front of a mirror propositioning himself to the tune of "No More Horses".....