Advertisement

CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Do you have a comic or other project you want to promote? Feel free to post about it here, but don't just post and run. Sticking around and joining in other discussions is the best way to get Outhousers interested in your work. These topics will also show up in The News Stand and The Asylum, for maximum exposure.

Hey you! Reader! Want to be a part of the GREATEST COMIC BOOK AND GEEK COMMUNITY on the web?! Logged in users see WAY LESS ADS, so why not register? It's fast and it's easy, like your mom! Sign up today! Membership spots are limited!*

*Membership spots not really limited!

GHERU
User avatar


YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 39188
Likes: 173 posts
Liked in: 259 posts
Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:03 pm
Location: Fucking Akron


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby GHERU » Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:34 pm

well, he didn't really like all that I had to say

(here's some constructive criticism) who are the people in the first page?

That's not the first page. These blogs are tricky you have to read them upside down.

"not coming" is two words and a file belonging to Private Rogers would be "Rogers' file"

one is probably a type 'O'. So it's just a correction not criticism.

what does that second paragraph have to do with anything? it would be helpful if it was sooner than her third panel before we are told that the woman is Sharon Carter for someone who only knows what she read in a file, she sure does get close to Steve real quick. Is Sharon a slut?

Whoa, slow down. Slut? Obviously these are questions out of the ignorance of the characters history. I'm not going to complain.( Go to wikipedia and look it up. They have it-Stan!)

Army" ? Is the U.S greater than the Army? what does the page before this have to do with anything? Who would start a conversation like that? Of the two people talking you made the Irish looking redhead the Jew? There's avoiding stereotypes and then there is absurdity

That's a mighty racist comment there Mengele... James Kahn is a red headed Jew. Woody Allen, even Harpo Marx. Come on.

V2.47.jpg shield depth continuity issues Overall - your choice of font color makes it hard to read sometimes, especially since I had to open each page as a new tab just to see the text.

That's the idea. To Click on each page.
So try and read it again from the beginning and if you dont understand something or you don't get the connection, look it up. like the Sharon/ Cap relationship.

Thanks for all the corrections.
RUviews
Benderbrau wrote:Welcome to the Outhouse. Where civility means you're doing it wrong.

Advertisement

GHERU
User avatar


YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 39188
Likes: 173 posts
Liked in: 259 posts
Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:03 pm
Location: Fucking Akron


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby GHERU » Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:35 pm

my reply
GHERU wrote:I understand the Sharon Cap relationship in the "real" comics, but as this is set in a different continuity and that it took three pages for her name to be used there is nothing in this comic to show that they have the same relationship as they do in the comics. Especially since you comic does nothing to set up that relationship. If she had been seen in part 1, I would understand not identifying her right off, but if you are using her as Captain America's girl friend then that needs to be clear much earlier than it is. Their dialogue is not how lovers, even spy lovers, would speak to each other. After such formal talk, her allowing Steve to grab her is very abrupt and disrupts the flow of your story.

The redheaded comment was meant to be a joke, but as you took it seriously: Woody Allen and Harpo Marx are dark redheads, not the Irish redhead in your comic and I have no idea what James Kahn looks like since Wikkepeida says he is an author and has no picture. I've seen many a dark redheaded Jew at my synagogue, but bright orange red, I'm sure they exist but, c'mon. I still think there was no need for him to be that unique looking, and its even more jarring considering the look of the guy he is talking to.

I understood your comic, in fact I had to explain it to quite a few people who are also comic book readers. That being said, you're not Hickman, if I don't understand something it is not because you have a complex script, its because the communication and meaning are lost along the way. That could be not identifying the characters soon enough or it could be poor choice of font color against sand. As it is, you, I guess (and I could be wrong) are trying to gain a following, gain readers, gain attention, and the best way to do that is make your comic new reader friendly with every new posting. Don't ask your readers to go to wick, look at pervious parts, or imply that they are stupid. Tell them what you think they should know:

"I was waiting in the train station, having just finished drinks with Dugan, and I saw my handler and sometimes lover Agent Sharon Carter walking over to me…"

There, you have introduced a new character, set up her relationship, and made it so none of the following dialogue / narration has to be changed. Also, you don't have to get snippy with your readers with "look it up on wikki" remarks that might make them not want to keep reading your work.

I do not think this blog format does you any favors with the fact that the reader has to keep going back and opening a new tab. Maybe if there was an arrow opine ("next page -->) or even if changing the url address's page number would work but as it stands it is way too much work for your readers to get the full effect of your comic. Internet users are notoriously lazy, and there were a number of people at the outhouse that stated the reason they stopped reading was that it was too much effort to get to the next page.
Last edited by GHERU on Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.
RUviews
Benderbrau wrote:Welcome to the Outhouse. Where civility means you're doing it wrong.

GHERU
User avatar


YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 39188
Likes: 173 posts
Liked in: 259 posts
Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2008 9:03 pm
Location: Fucking Akron


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby GHERU » Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:36 pm

some one else thought I was being unfair with the "racist imagey" comment
Racist Imagery? How deep does one have to look to find race in a patriotic car friggin toon? Some one has a huge stick up their ass, sideways!


my reply
GHERU wrote:"Racist Imagery?" yes, the bucktooth Japanese man is a standard in anti-Japanese racist imagery. It was very popular with the propaganda machine the US used during and after WWII. OF all the art in this comic, I thought that page was the best and captured the posters of the era almost perfectly.
RUviews
Benderbrau wrote:Welcome to the Outhouse. Where civility means you're doing it wrong.

Benderbrau
User avatar
Twenty-Something
 
Posts: 56099
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 2 posts
Joined: Sun Mar 08, 2009 1:18 am
Location: Your Moms Bedroom
Title: Proud Underachiever


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby Benderbrau » Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:54 pm

GHERU wrote:well, he didn't really like all that I had to say

Don't feel bad. I think it's clear that he doesn't like what any real person has to say. He seems to prefer the comments posted by his imaginary aliases who say things like:
Marine1 wrote:This is great stuff, when we goona see this in the stores?

or
31c4ce76-c2a2-11e0-acf0-000f20980440 wrote: Better than the movie! The art is beautiful and the story is more in sync with the origins of Cap. Not like the hollywood futureistic crap that we just saw. Hats off to the creator.

Are you fucking kidding? There's no way that these are real comments from real people. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Image
"Dude, I bow down to you, you are the worlds greatest ballbuster." -Jude Terror
"Sorry, nate! I think you automatically lose all arguments from now on, simply due to the fact that the only person willing to back you up is batshit insane!" - Dragavon
"Everything I know I learned from reading your posts." - Nietoperz

S.F. Jude Terror
User avatar
OMCTO
 
Posts: 76352
Likes: 472 posts
Liked in: 723 posts
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:44 pm
Location: Up Your Ass
Title: Webmaster Supreme
Formerly: Dr. Jude Terror


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Sun Aug 14, 2011 4:59 pm

Benderbrau wrote:Don't feel bad. I think it's clear that he doesn't like what any real person has to say. He seems to prefer the comments posted by his imaginary aliases who say things like:

or

Are you fucking kidding? There's no way that these are real comments from real people. :lol: :lol: :lol:


:lol:

Apache Chef
User avatar
Expert Post Whore
 
Posts: 5464
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 2 posts
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 3:48 pm


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby Apache Chef » Sun Aug 14, 2011 6:25 pm

Benderbrau wrote:Don't feel bad. I think it's clear that he doesn't like what any real person has to say. He seems to prefer the comments posted by his imaginary aliases who say things like:

or

Are you fucking kidding? There's no way that these are real comments from real people. :lol: :lol: :lol:



You should apologize to that marine.

Benderbrau
User avatar
Twenty-Something
 
Posts: 56099
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 2 posts
Joined: Sun Mar 08, 2009 1:18 am
Location: Your Moms Bedroom
Title: Proud Underachiever


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby Benderbrau » Sun Aug 14, 2011 6:39 pm

Apache Chef wrote:

You should apologize to that marine.

25% chance that it's even a real marine. 75% chance Jude misspelled Marianne.
Image
"Dude, I bow down to you, you are the worlds greatest ballbuster." -Jude Terror
"Sorry, nate! I think you automatically lose all arguments from now on, simply due to the fact that the only person willing to back you up is batshit insane!" - Dragavon
"Everything I know I learned from reading your posts." - Nietoperz

Lord Simian
User avatar
The Lord of the Monkeys
 
Posts: 34922
Likes: 149 posts
Liked in: 274 posts
Joined: Mon Mar 27, 2006 8:57 am
Location: Poosting from The Outhouse


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby Lord Simian » Sun Aug 21, 2011 5:59 am

Apache Chef wrote:

You should apologize to that marine.


Nah, if history proves anything, it's that when someone insults a marine, it's not THEIR job to apologize. It's some completely random person who has no involvement.

As such.... Bender, you insulted that marine. Hence, it is now incumbent upon, um.... I dunno.... Starlord. How dare Starlord not apologize immediately?!
Image
Image

Kong created the Outhouse to train the Faithful. One cannot go against the Word of Kong.---
The Teachings of Pawl Monk'Dib

Monkey, I like your style!
--Lex Luthor

Zenguru wrote:I trust Lord Simian's word more than my friend.

HNutz
User avatar
PЦИKЧ ВЯЁ&#106
 
Posts: 14758
Likes: 3920 posts
Liked in: 547 posts
Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:22 pm


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby HNutz » Sun Aug 21, 2011 8:55 am

GHERU wrote:
Image

"U.S> Army" ? Is the U.S greater than the Army?
what does the page before this have to do with anything? Who would start a conversation like that?

Of the two people talking you made the Irish looking redhead the Jew? There's avoiding stereotypes and then there is absurdity



What's a "Narzi"?

HNutz
User avatar
PЦИKЧ ВЯЁ&#106
 
Posts: 14758
Likes: 3920 posts
Liked in: 547 posts
Joined: Wed Jul 30, 2008 10:22 pm


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby HNutz » Sun Aug 21, 2011 9:59 am

COOPCAP wrote: By the way where is you're art? do you write stories? Do you have a blog?


So you asked folks to check out your site, but they can only make criticisms or suggestions (which you'll ignore) if they have work of their own?

So Siskel & Ebert and everyone else can't review movies, books, comics, etc. because they haven't made one themselves? Lame.

TimDrake'sDumbWings
User avatar
Motherfucker from Hell
 
Posts: 2853
Likes: 2 posts
Liked in: 2 posts
Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:31 pm
Title: I mean... ROBINS have wings...
Formerly: DOOP SPEAK


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby TimDrake'sDumbWings » Sun Aug 21, 2011 10:22 am

I'm SO pissed off that I hadn't seen this sooner. The Internet's democratization of the creative process is just a horrible fucking thing sometimes.

TimDrake'sDumbWings
User avatar
Motherfucker from Hell
 
Posts: 2853
Likes: 2 posts
Liked in: 2 posts
Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:31 pm
Title: I mean... ROBINS have wings...
Formerly: DOOP SPEAK


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby TimDrake'sDumbWings » Sun Aug 21, 2011 10:23 am

HNutz wrote:So Siskel & Ebert and everyone else can't review movies, books, comics, etc. because they haven't made one themselves? Lame.


Ebert's written a movie. I recommend that you see BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS. In one scene, a Phil Spector analog yells, "THEY WILL TASTE THE BLACK SPERM OF MY VENGEANCE!"

Starlord
User avatar
Outhouse Editor
 
Posts: 35133
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 1 post
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:03 pm
Location: Michigan


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby Starlord » Mon Aug 22, 2011 2:54 pm

Lord Simian wrote:
Nah, if history proves anything, it's that when someone insults a marine, it's not THEIR job to apologize. It's some completely random person who has no involvement.

As such.... Bender, you insulted that marine. Hence, it is now incumbent upon, um.... I dunno.... Starlord. How dare Starlord not apologize immediately?!


wait... what?!
Image

Max Blyss wrote:Months and months and months and the whole thing is still just an intersection at Dipshit Lane & Chip on my Shoulder Ave.

Chesscub
User avatar
WTF is this rank?
 
Posts: 11631
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 6 posts
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 2:22 pm
Location: Dracut, MA
Title: Bear du jour


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby Chesscub » Mon Aug 22, 2011 3:17 pm

COOPCAP is a car crash of epic proportions.

The Old Doctor
User avatar
A Damn Cuddly Beast
 
Posts: 67120
Likes: 991 posts
Liked in: 762 posts
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2007 3:00 pm
Location: Toronto, ONT, Canadah
Formerly: /人 ◕ ‿‿ ◕ 人\


Re: CAPTAIN AMERICA GROUND ZERO continues.

Postby The Old Doctor » Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:27 pm

(Hey, GHERU)

Damn, there goes a potential Asshole Party member...

Image

But then, while he was an asshole, he took the Party and lost.

Fan Fiction continues to make me think that there are circles of hell. One of them is for fan fiction writers like Cappoop... Capoop... whatever.
"Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They're scientific instruments, not water pistols."
"Oh, the pointing again! They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them?"
"Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about?"
""Timey" what? "Timey wimey"?"

Image
IvCNuB4 wrote:The Old Doctor is Cat-Scratch ?
Well that explains a lot :lol:

leave a comment with facebook

PreviousNext

Return to The Creator's Corner



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests

Advertisement