The Outhouse - The Greatest Comic Book Forum

by **Eli Katz** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:04 pm

My wife and I were talking today about mindless crap and, during this conversation, my wife confessed that one of her girlfriends (she wouldn't tell me which one) asked to have an affair with me. My wife told the friend that she didn't share and just laughed it off. A little stunned, I asked my wife, "Doesn't a question like that ruin a friendship?" And my wife said no--women ask each other stuff like that all the time.

If I asked one of my buddies, "Hey, do you mind if I bang your wife?" I'd get get my head beaten in.

Jesus, I've been married a long time, and I am still perplexed by my wife specifically and by women in general.

by **Dragavon** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:23 pm

My girlfriend told me yesterday that if I plan to cheat on her, could I at least tell her beforehand, implying I could sleep with other women as long as I didn't lie to her! :smt017

by **Strict31** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:23 pm

Sure, that's the kind of thing a guy can get knocked the fuck out for saying, even in jest. But maybe the other chick was just joking. I mean, you said your wife did just laugh it off.

by **HNutz** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:25 pm

I once had a coworker tell me that, to make her boyfriend jealous and more energetic, she'd talk about me while they were neing intimate.

by **Eli Katz** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:45 pm

Strict31 wrote:Sure, that's the kind of thing a guy can get knocked the fuck out for saying, even in jest. But maybe the other chick was just joking. I mean, you said your wife did just laugh it off.

It wasn't a joke. I asked that.

by **guitarsmashley** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:46 pm

I'll bang your wife, Eli.

by **Eli Katz** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:50 pm

Dragavon wrote:My girlfriend told me yesterday that if I plan to cheat on her, could I at least tell her beforehand, implying I could sleep with other women as long as I didn't lie to her!

My wife has said the same thing to me. But she has also said, in other instances, she'd go Lorena Bobbitt on me if I ever cheated.

by **Eli Katz** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 9:58 pm

guitarsmashley wrote:I'll bang your wife, Eli.

You'd bang me, too.

by **Strict31** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 10:01 pm

Eli Katz wrote:It wasn't a joke. I asked that.

Well then your wife has a great deal of patience for fools, because I've never known a woman, even a white chick, who would let that shit slide. Of course, maybe I just have that effect on bitches. It tends to make bitches possessive when they catch a scent of a foreign vagina in close proximity to my perimeter. This is why I make bitches sign a disclaimer; Strict cannot be held responsible for the actions of scurrilous bitches who succumb to the power of CHOCOLATE THUNDA. I've even had to draw up a provision that covers strippers.

It helps avoid confusion.

This is an excellent opportunity for research into the mind of a chick, however. I suggest you explore how far you can take this idea before your wife stops being able to laugh it off and she goes after her friend with a switchblade. Please report your findings to the board.

by **Eli Katz** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 10:04 pm

Strict31 wrote:
Well then your wife has a great deal of patience for fools, because I've never known a woman, even a white chick, who would let that shit slide. Of course, maybe I just have that effect on bitches. It tends to make bitches possessive when they catch a scent of a foreign vagina in close proximity to my perimeter. This is why I make bitches sign a disclaimer; Strict cannot be held responsible for the actions of scurrilous bitches who succumb to the power of CHOCOLATE THUNDA. I've even had to draw up a provision that covers strippers.

It helps avoid confusion.

This is an excellent opportunity for research into the mind of a chick, however. I suggest you explore how far you can take this idea before your wife stops being able to laugh it off and she goes after her friend with a switchblade. Please report your findings to the board.

My guess is that it was one of her ugly friends. So she didn't feel threatened by the question.

by **Strict31** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 10:12 pm

Eli Katz wrote:My guess is that it was one of her ugly friends. So she didn't feel threatened by the question.

Science does not guess, Mr. Katz.

by **Eli Katz** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 10:22 pm

Strict31 wrote:
Science does not guess, Mr. Katz.

Well, it is certainly a testable hypothesis. Now all I need is women of varying attractiveness insinuate to my wife that they'd like to get down with me and see how, if at all, my wife's response varies.

Yeah, that's not going to happen. Science will have to march on without my data.

by **avengingtitan** » Sun Jan 29, 2012 10:35 pm

Sounds like she may have been testing the waters for a threesome.

by **john lewis hawk** » Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:19 am

I'd bang Eli and his wife. Hell, throw Yoni and his wife and some random slut I'll find and we'll have a proper orgy.

by **S.F. Jude Terror** » Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:44 am

She probably just accepts the fact that she's married to Eli fucking Katz, she'd go insane if she worried about all the women that want to have affairs with her husband.