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by **Cat-Scratch** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 2:09 pm

http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2012/03/loislane/

by Corrina Lawson is superhero geek and writer of science fiction with a side of romance

To Whom It May Concern at DC Comics:

Usually, I don’t have time to write a letter like this because I’m out uncovering corruption in Metropolis or investigating the latest scheme by Lex Luthor to discredit Superman. Or, in a quiet moment, enjoying some time with my husband, Clark (Superman) Kent.

But due to the latest editorial decisions, I’m no longer a field reporter and I’m longer married. In fact, The Superman Group Editor even called me a “trophy wife.” While I won’t dignify that insult with a reply, I’m a bit concerned that many making the editorial decisions at DC don’t seem to know what to do with me. I have no idea why.

For instance, in current DC universe, I’m sitting behind a desk, giving orders and filling out forms (which is why I have time to write this letter). Does this make any sense to you? I am the premier investigative reporter in my world — it was once said that my reputation rolls ahead of me like a steamroller. I’m not the kind of person who should ever sit behind a desk, no matter if the job is high status or not. Starfleet once made James T. Kirk sit behind a desk. That didn’t end well for anyone. He belongs in a starship. I belong out there in my city, bringing truth to light.

I’m not very happy about the loss of the support of my husband either.

We had a long, happy marriage of equals. Now, I can understand why creators would like to turn back to the clock and write our courtship again. Courtship is fun and interesting to write and doesn’t require nearly as much creative energy as making a marriage interesting. However, there does not seem to be any courtship happening. In fact, I seem to have shacked up with some annoying man, who points a lot, for a night of fun sex designed not to so much be fun for me, but to make Clark feel bad.

But, hey, at least in this reality, I’m alive. So far, in other universes, I’ve been killed three times in the last year. I expected to die spectacularly in the big Flashpoint event, since it was supposed to be a nasty alternate reality, but I’m a bit bummed that my death once again had no real purpose save to cause Superman angst. I also died in the DCU Online game, but I suppose that also might be excused since so many heroes die as players move along in that game.

But killing me off on Earth-2 was the most cutting blow. Earth-2 used to be the DC alternate reality where things were different, where even if heroes aged, they were allowed to live and have families. I had a long, happy successful marriage on Earth-2 and was enjoying my old age with my family and friends around me.

But in the new Earth-2 I’m dead, and angst over my death has moved my Clark to contemplate becoming a killer? “Great Caesar’s Ghost!” as Perry would say (except he’s likely dead over there as well. Or maybe not, since he’s a man). Also dead apparently are Selina Kyle-Wayne, and the entire Amazon nation save Princess Diana, Wonder Woman. (And I missed the chance to be drawn by Nicola Scott too!)

That’s a lot of women to fridge all at once and I must roll my eyes in particular at the destruction, yet again, of the Amazons. They’ve been killed en masse in Flashpoint, in J. Michael Straczynski’s revamp of the character, and several times before that.

To quote a writer who seems to know how to make a female character pro-active rather than a prop, “Bored now.”

If you add my deaths, Selina’s Earth-2 death, the Amazons, and the need to get rid of all the DC Universe married couples, including Barry Allen and Wally West (who aren’t even dating), and leave only Aquaman and Mera as DC’s lone married couple, I submit that perhaps someone at DC Editorial is more against marriage in general than Joe Quesada is against Spider-Man being married.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go yell at some stupid junior reporter who broke their arm when they didn’t move fast enough to avoid a car being tossed around in a fight between Superman and the Parasite.

Sincerely,

Lois Lane

P.S. Could you please, if you can’t write me better, send me over to the Secret Identity universe written by that sweet and talented Kurt Busiek? Thanks!

Cute.

by **Herald** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 2:14 pm

Cat-Scratch wrote:http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2012/03/loislane/

Cute.

Also accurate.

by **Cat-Scratch** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 2:17 pm

Herald wrote:
Also accurate.

I was wondering how many here would chime in with the writer.

by **IvCNuB4** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 2:32 pm

Sounds like Midol hasn't been invented yet on Earth-2 :lol:

by **Victorian Squid** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 2:53 pm

Worst fans on the internet.

by **Punchy** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:46 pm

SHUT UP

by **Timbales** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:50 pm

I don't think the idea of a reporter is that interesting anymore, not in this day and age.

by **Cat-Scratch** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:05 pm

Punchy wrote:SHUT UP

by **habitual** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:06 pm

She does make an interesting point.

Hab

by **jeremiahvedder** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:10 pm

100% like.

by **Zechs** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:32 pm

Lois does raise a good point.

by **Victorian Squid** » Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:33 pm

From comments on the loathsome site that originated on:

Dear Lois,

You understand that this isn't real life right? You know that the focal point of the book you are in is Superman right?!? The truth is baby-doll, we've never known quite what to do with you because you are not much more important than Kryptonite. Don't get us wrong darling, but the truth is, you are there to be one more weakness out of 3, Magic and Kryptonite were both pretty hackneyed at this point so it was fun to make sure that Kal's friends are his other weakness. That and maybe that he cares too darn much!

We've headlined you a few times, but to be honest, being plucky and slightly acerbic doesn't put you head and shoulders above any other broad on this rock. Some of us don't even understand why Kal puts up with you, but that's a different story. We all know that it's not him you are trying to impress, but our reader. Your average comic book geek loves the idea of a woman that is so strong in character that she rivals superman in all areas except of course having any super powers at all, and saving people. But you've got that whole pen being mightier than the sword thing right?

If I were you, I'd keep a sharp eye out for that Wonder Woman chick, If she didn't have daddy issues of her own, she'd be swooping in on your man at every turn. Plus she has that whole immortality thing working for her so she can outlast you in the long game.

Writing marriage as being exciting? Boy you said a mouthful there sweet cheeks. It's not more difficult making marriage exciting, it's IMPOSSIBLE. You see, marriage and it's accompanying accouterments scream day to day mundane. It's the reality of what happens and in real life, it ain't that bad. Once again, not particularly interesting in the colored pages of our 'funny books'. People want to see our ham fisted blue boy drop down on Darkseid and give him what for, not change the diapers of super baby, or talk to Clark Jr. about why his grades aren't up to snuff. It's all about how you affect him and not much the other way around.

Bottom line kitten, if you don't like where you are, get your own bit. I hear Oprah has a few openings on her new network. But remember this, being Supe's squeeze isn't really a bad gig. You get exposure and you speak for all women that have fresh love until they realize that the guy they've built up to be Superman is really just a cut rate Clark Kent.

Don't take any wooden nickels
D.C. Suits

Heheheh.