Commercials don't so much offend me as much as they piss me off. There are any number of commercials I like at and start thinking about how much I want to kill things that talk.
Like, basically, any commercial for dick-hard pills. They got his and hers bathtubs just sitting out in the countryside for when old people remember that they have genital organs?
Or pretty much any commercial for any show that comes on TLC.
I really hate those goddamn vibrator commercials where there's a room full of silly bitches talking about, "Oh, that's the massager that's supposed to blow your hair back" like that's a thing that humans have ever uttered about a goddamn vibrator. Bitch, it's a fuckin' vibrator, and it will make your shit wet. SAY IT. And then, the bitch brings the shit home to her husband, and he's all "SWEET! We got fifteen vibrators because all of your friends are the only women in the world who can't find a cock when they're horny! Imma got put my butt on this RIGHT NOW."
Then, there are those "What's in your wallet" commercials with the goddamn vikings or visigoths or etruscans...I dunno. They've forgotten to actually advertise anything in those commercials. It's just a bunch of primitive muthafuckas running around in modern times, fucking shit up.
Or that goddamn talking baby that gives you investment advice. Shut the fuck up, baby. Talking baby used to give investment advice, but now it's just increasingly more contrived scenarios in which some ad-guy thought it would be funny to include a talking goddamn baby.
Or car commercials where the only thing they tell you about the car is how many songs from your ipod it can play. If you make a car and the best thing you can tell me about it is that it interfaces with a bunch of devices I don't give a shit about, then you can just fuck your own ass with the car.
And then, there's the...OH WAIT.
There is a commercial that offends me.
Commercials for commemorative 9/11 coins. It actually angers me that there is some fuckface out there who is making money off that event.
"You must be proud, bold, pleasant, resolute,
And now and then stab, as occasion serves."
Edward II: Act 2 Scene 1, by Christopher Marlowe