I think the problem is that - at least the Thomas Jane and War Zone movies - it almost feels like they're ashamed of the source material.
The Thomas Jane movie took itself seriously, but they didn't commit to it. It tried to be its own thing, while also taking some things from "Welcome Back, Frank" by Ennis like Spacker Dave, Joan, and The Russian.. etc.
War Zone felt like it wanted nail the Punisher MAX feel by Ennis, but then the lighting was straight out of Batman & Robin. It was silly.
It's been said time and time again, but look at a movie like Man on Fire. THAT was a Punisher movie.
It needs to be taken seriously, and just go all out. It shouldn't be a difficult concept. It's a pretty simple revenge story, and/or a vigilante movie. The fact that it has been done time and time again in Hollywood, with better results than any of the Punisher movies is kind of sad when you think about it.
I would love to see someone like Tony Scott tackle it in the same style as Man on Fire, with a completely unashamed head on approach.
If they took all the good parts of the TJ and War Zone movies and used them as guidelines, I think you could come up with a pretty good end result.