Bunny Ranch brothel owner wants to set up shop in Toronto Cami Parker, 25, star of Cathouse and girlfriend of brothel owner Dennis Hof, who wants to set up shop in Toronto.
TORONTO - Hippity hop, Toronto. Here comes the Bunny Ranch.
Yes, the world’s most famous brothel plans a northern outpost, now that courts have struck down Canada’s bawdy-house laws.
Unless you’ve been dead or lost in a cabbage patch, you know of the Bunny Ranch.
Since 1955, it has served legal sex in untamed Nevada — and more recently, and more tamely, on the HBO show Cathouse.
The Bunny Ranch already has expanded to four other sites in Nevada, including Area 51. You know, the home of UFOs. Unlimited Frolicking Onsite?
There, owner Dennis Hof tells me, “you can dress up as Captain Kirk and play with Princess Leia.”
If the Earth moves, it might be you or it might be the old nuclear test site 20 km away.
Hof is the P.T. Barnum of bordellos. And the Colonel Sanders. He knows he has a world-famous brand that will sell anywhere it’s legal.
Such as Toronto.
Hof says he’ll scout our ripe city in June, after a foray to another possible expansion franchise, Amsterdam.
Where would I put Bunny Ranch North?
Away from churches and schools, of course. And, to avoid confusion, not in any ethnic neighbourhood where they eat rabbit, such as the French or South Americans.
“Downtown, with good parking and street exposure,” says Hof. “A busy area so people can get in and out without being noticed.
“The place doesn’t have to be overly obvious. A house of prostitution is like a sugar cube in the desert.
“The ants find it, real quick.”
Hof pictures his Canadian ant farm as a “beautiful place with 15 or 20 rooms, a dorm for the girls, a five-star restaurant for the guys to have a little dinner and hang out with the girls.
“It’s not just sex. It’s an adventure.
“Far as I can tell in Canada, (the sex trade) has been a ‘get in, get off and get out’ mentality.”
Yes. It also describes a typical Maple Leafs season.
“I see Toronto as a classy European kind of city with flair and style,” says Hof, 65.
“I’ll run it myself, go back and forth from Nevada.”
It would be a homecoming of sorts for his girlfriend, Vancouverite Cami Parker, 25, a Cathouse and Bunny Ranch regular.
In fact, she helped turn his gaze north, as the court battle raged.
“The light started going on, says Hof. “I need to be in Canada. I want to be a pioneer.”
I’ve reached him in the gym at the original Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Carson City, Nev.
“I’m with a whole bunch of beautiful half-naked women,” says. “But I got a bad leg.”
On a visit to Hugh Hefner’s mansion (Hef and Hof?), an inebriated lass tackled Hof, who was posing for pictures. Popped his knee.
Brothel-keeping can be dangerous.
Much more so when it’s outlawed. Guess who shows up when you make something a crime, even consensual, victimless sex. You got it. Criminals.
Hof, like me, is a libertarian. He and his girls endorsed Ron Paul in the U.S. Republican race a few weeks back.
It’s no shocker that Hof, like me and Paul, favours legalizing prostitution — to take it away from druggies, crooks and thugs.
“I get a lot of customers from Toronto here,” Hof says. “It’s safe. The girls won’t get pregnant, call the National Enquirer or your wife or give you a disease.”
The courts gave Ottawa a year to rewrite bawdy-house laws, if it wants. But Hof says he won’t wait.
“I’ll find a location, get local partners and an architect and be ready to go.”
And if the feds screw things up, so to speak?
“Then I’ll have the best bed and breakfast place in town.”
I hope it’s breakfast in bed.