by Strict31 » Sat May 12, 2012 11:21 am
But The Beckinsale is hot, and that's all that really matters.
The only Underworld movie I didn't watch was the prequel bullshit that didn't have The Beckinsale starring in it. Rise of the Lycans, or whatever? I don't give a fuck, because Kate Beckinsale ain't in it, wearing skintight black PVC. As such, I didn't feel it was a necessary part of the overall storyline, which is about Kate Beckinsale looking hot while she kills and explodes things.
Although, Rhona Mitra is a sexy bitch.
This latest Underworld movie...I can't even remember the title...it was also stupid. It was some dumb shit about a war against werewolves and vampires waged by humans in the future. Selene had this hybrid baby who would vamp/wolf out on fools and rip werewolves in half from their faces on down. It was so stupid that apparently even Scott Speedman (who?) couldn't be bothered to return. Like that muthafucka has anything better to do with his time.
Anyways, the Lycans had this dipshit plot to use the hybrid kid for their own purposes, because every time they tried to gain control of the last hybrid, Michael, that always went well for them.
I don't even know why they want a hybrid, because the vampire half of the hybrid is guaranteed to start ripping regular werewolves apart at some goddamn point in the movies. The explanation for this plot basically amounts to "FUCK YOUR EYES because Kate Beckinsale is hot."
And for that reason, this movie series isn't just stupid. It's stupid AWESOME.

"You must be proud, bold, pleasant, resolute,
And now and then stab, as occasion serves."
Edward II: Act 2 Scene 1, by Christopher Marlowe