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by **LOLtron** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:05 am

It's a pretty self-explanatory article.

[Warning: This article contains images and content of an adult nature. If you are viewing this from a computer in view of other people, please click away immediately.]

With the release of yesterday's Uncanny X-Men #12, a colleague of mine asked if there was anything Namor wouldn't sleep with.

Namor, who's been characterized as a horny cornballer since the 1960's, has always had...interesting choices in women, a trait that writer Kieron Gillen has exploited with great aplomb.

Here's a look at some things that Namor would bang:

His cousin.
namornamorita

A cat.
namorcat
A fish. (That's his ex-wife!)

marrina3
His boss's girlfriend.

namoremma
A tapeworm thingy.

namorfish

As you can see, Namor's type ranges from alien space cat to laser shooting fish monsters.

However, the prince of Atlantis does have standards.

namorredheads
One can only imagine what would happen if Alan Moore ever got his bearded, magic hands on the character. Here's Namor and a redhead sharing an intimate moment together.

SCAN0161-1

Okay, that's just some other fish-monster getting off. But one imagines that Namor's O-face looks pretty damn similar.

Written or Contributed by: ThanosCopter

READ THIS ARTICLE ON THE FRONT PAGE, HUMANS!

by **e_galston** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:39 am

Hepzibah is a Skunk not a cat...

by **Chesscub** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:49 am

Sitebreaker wrote:Hepzibah is a Skunk not a cat...

by **Victorian Squid** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:53 am

Sitebreaker wrote:Hepzibah is a Skunk not a cat...

Nope. Hepzibah, who once went by the name "Lady Kitten", is a Mephitisoid, which bear similar characteristics to earth skunks and cats both, but are neither. And artistic interpretations have moved much closer to the feline appearance.

"As a member of the Mephitisoid race, Hepzibah's features are supposed to resemble that of a humanoid skunk, with cat ears on the top of her head and fur having the colors and markings of an Earth skunk. However, modern Marvel artists have begun giving her a more cat-like appearance, removing the black markings. No explanation for the change has been given in the comic books."

by **Chesscub** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:56 am

Victorian Squid wrote:
Nope. Hepzibah, who once went by the name "Lady Kitten", is a Mephitisoid, which bear similar characteristics to earth skunks and cats both, but are neither. And artistic interpretations have moved much closer to the feline appearance.

"As a member of the Mephitisoid race, Hepzibah's features are supposed to resemble that of a humanoid skunk, with cat ears on the top of her head and fur having the colors and markings of an Earth skunk. However, modern Marvel artists have begun giving her a more cat-like appearance, removing the black markings. No explanation for the change has been given in the comic books."

Only Namor now knows if the curtains match the drapes.

by **e_galston** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:58 am

she went by lady kitten AFTER they started drawing her as a cat... it was during the first arc after Messiah Complex when they were psychically sent back to the 60s... just because artists are drawing her differently doesn't mean she's not still supposed to be humanoid skunk...

by **Victorian Squid** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:58 am

Chesscub wrote:
Only Namor now knows if the curtains match the drapes.

Well...and Corsair. And Warpath.

by **Victorian Squid** » Thu May 17, 2012 9:59 am

Sitebreaker wrote:she went by lady kitten AFTER they started drawing her as a cat... it was during the first arc after Messiah Complex when they were psychically sent back to the 60s... just because artists are drawing her differently doesn't mean she's not still supposed to be humanoid skunk...

Yeah it kind of does.

by **Doc Jon** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:03 am

Hahahahaha...

Great article.

by **Log-Man** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:11 am

Chesscub wrote:
Only Namor now knows if the curtains match the drapes.

CARPET! The phrase is "Does the CARPET match the drapes?" Curtains matching drapes doesn't even make sense!

Sorry.

by **Victorian Squid** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:13 am

Log-Man wrote:CARPET! The phrase is "Does the CARPET match the drapes?" Curtains matching drapes doesn't even make sense!

It did to me. :oops:

by **Doc Jon** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:14 am

Victorian Squid wrote:
It did to me.

It seemed close enough to me, although it doesn't make sense at second pass. :-D

by **Timbales** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:14 am

Greg Land just makes the horrible dialogue even worse.

I'm also starting to picture Schmidt from New Girl as Namor.

by **Chesscub** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:19 am

Log-Man wrote:CARPET! The phrase is "Does the CARPET match the drapes?" Curtains matching drapes doesn't even make sense!

Sorry.

by **dairydead** » Thu May 17, 2012 10:46 am

Timbales wrote:Greg Land just makes the horrible dialogue even worse.

I'm also starting to picture Schmidt from New Girl as Namor.

that panel where Hepzibah is turned towards the reader with that laughing expression while talking about sex with Namor is one of the dumbest things I've seen in comics in a while.