Thursday, September 29, 2016 • Morning Edition • "At least we're not The Comics Reporter!"
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Review Group Week 328 - BATMAN INCORPORATED vs YOUNGBLOOD
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Hey you! Reader! Want to be a part of the GREATEST COMIC BOOK AND GEEK COMMUNITY on the web?! Well, they're not accepting new members, but we'll take anyone here, so why not sign up for a free acount? It's fast and it's easy, like your mom! Sign up today! Membership spots are limited!*
*Membership spots not really limited!
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I'm going to try to breeze through this. Ready Set GO! If anyone is at least somewhat familiar with my reviews on the front page, you would discover that I've reviewed Batman INC....a lot. Out of the 10 previous tales in the series, I reviewed 4 of them. It should come as no surprise that I'd be all over this like ThatGuyRoman on Antonio Cesaro's body. After reading it, I must say that it's good to have this series is back. Grant Morrison keeps the plot moving, while peppering the story with great character moments. The interplay between the characters (particularly Batman and Robin) is great, Leviathan is dreadfully menacing (in a good way) and Goat Boy is a flawed, yet interesting character. Chris Burnham and Nathan Fairbairn turn in some killer art. It's detailed, yet expressive; gritty, yet fun. Burnham does a fantastic job of translating Morrison's script into art. In the word's of the WWE's Ryback: "Bring. me. more!" 8.1* out of 10* |
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8/10 |
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“Oh f*ck me” was my reaction as I willed myself to finish reading this comic in the score. Of course, going into this I knew that this was a Youngblood comic so my expectations were tempered. At the same time, both Glory and Prophet have proven to be much better than I originally thought they were going to be, so in the back of my mind I was hoping that the material would rise above the concept in some fashion. What I ended up getting was something far, far worse than I imagined. What went wrong with Youngblood #71? There’s so much wrong with this comic that picking a place to begin is a great laboring in and of itself, but the sticking point that grates me the most is the lack of writing. Yes, the comic does have word balloons that are filled with dialogue, but very quickly you realize how little it matters. The dialogue doesn’t only suffer from just merely sounding sophomoric, but it also exposes how weak the characters in the book really are. Not only are these characters painfully one dimensional, but they’re extremely indistinguishable. If you’ve ever read an early Image comic, then you’ll quickly understand the characters you’re dealing with. From the poor Gambit intimations to the “strong, sexually liberated woman” each crappy character archetype is on display in its purest most inglorious form. As for the story, it’s even more nonexistent than the dialogue. For all of the effort the Youngblood team exerts to take itself seriously, the only thing the reader will be left with is laughter at how ridiculous the whole scenario is. At the end of the day both it and the writing serve no purpose to what this comic is really meant to display and that’s the art itself. Does the book do a better job in its most important aspect? Not on your life. As I was standing there, taking in this full scope of this work, I was mentally going through the “Rob Liefeld art Checklist” to see how many boxes would checked off. Lack of Feet? Check! Impossibly muscular dudes? Check Beach Ball boobed women? Check Anatomically incorrect women? Check Identical female facial structure? Check Women posing as if they were in skin mag no matter their personality or station? Check And this is just scratching the surface. From the first page to the last, it’s quite obvious that Rob Liefeld is going through his usual motions without any care for anything besides his usual wants. Adding to the list of sins is the fact that the art doesn’t contribute to the story or atmosphere in a positive manner whatsoever. By doing this, Liefeld has turns an extremely vapid read into a painful experience all around. The Bottom Line In the grand scheme of things 2012 has been a year of extremes. The highs have been high and the even the mediocre has been mostly extremely offensive or extremely boring. However, there has been a set of lows that have made me wonder why I still bother reading certain genres in this medium. However, Youngblood #71 has all of the lows beat as the lack of craft is pervades every aspect in the most horrific fashion possible. This comic is unreadable, inexcusable and unforgivable. Final Judgment: –3 |
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Already selling above cover price online as well.  So you may want to hurry out to buy ST:TNG/DW next week if you like paper. Needless to say both this week's books are worthless on the resale market. |
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So one of the best selling independent comic books returns! There must be a market for this product and I hope they’re happy its back, but I still don’t get it. Why do people buy Liefeld’s work? Who wants to read about characters like Golden Stream and Honey Badger? Who wants to see so many mouths agape? Why do people care about the most painfully derivative concept they can get their hands on? It boggles my mind even more now than it did in the 90’s. Story It’s so banal it’s difficult for my brain to retain it, and I’ve read it twice. It’s self deprecating to a fault, like that will make it ok. I could go on, but I feel like I’m picking on retarded kids in the special olympics. 1/5 Art Liefeld has been “drawing” for 20+ years. Why does he still suck so bad? Sure there’s been some improvement, but not much. What’s intrigues me even more is why do guys like the Kuberts, Portacio, and Lee escape scorn for being on a par with Liefeld? Maybe that’s why Liefeld has a career, his deficiencies make mediocre artists look good. Maybe fans think there’s hope for them to achieve their dreams because a suckwad like Liefeld gets work? It’s a real mystery of the ages. 1/5 Final score - 2/10 Batman Incorporated #1 My least favorite writer and my least favorite character! This should be fun... Story Somebody’s been in the archives again. Bruce Wayne, under arrest for suspicion of murder, again! This will be the third time for the buff billionaire, am I supposed to be worried? Then the story unfolds, a new gang is in town and B&R are on the case. Oh but there’s a wild card this time in Goat Boy! Oh no, hipsters are referencing Bill Hicks’ old stand up routines, is nothing sacred? So the minute the chase enters the abattoir, two things happen. First I gird my loins for the impending moral enlightenment, and second, I get hungry. I could go for a steak, or maybe a nice roast tomorrow. Back to the story, and how luck defines us. It certainly defines Batman comics, that motherfucker has been relying on bad aim and good luck for 70 years. Robin is Stewie Griffin, and the only thing more annoying than girl power is child power. Power is Mass times Speed, and kids don’t have either. Damian is about as physically intimidating as Jaden Smith, and even less believable. Goat Boy seems formidable enough with all his planning and organizational skills, too bad he can’t silence his uncharacteristic internal dialogue long enough to just take the FUCKING shot. For a common taxi driving turned rocket rifle wielding thug, he sure talks like a comic book writer describing a comic book. Morrison’s dialogue never ceases to amuse. Then finally, after another convenient miss of Batman’s pink fleshy jaw, our villain hits the mark and Robin is dead! That’s right, a Robin has died! Never before in the anals of DC comics comics has a Robin fallen in action. What a cliffhanger, how will it all end? Every time I read a Batman comic one idea runs through my head. Castling! 2/5 Art Thank Zod comic books are a visual medium, Chris Burnham’s work is gorgeous. It’s not often that the clone surpasses the source, but I think I actually prefer his work to Quietly’s. His design is pleasing, but even more importantly it’s very consistent. Burnham’s sequential storytelling is excellent. The story unfolds effortlessly and the action is well defined. I would buy this title regularly if it were about another character, or if Morrison wasn’t writing it. 4/5 Final score - 6/10 |
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Most straight me do I assume. |
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Batman Incorporated #1: This was complete garbage up until the end when obnoxious Damian Wayne got shot in the head. I hate Grant Morrison's Batman, hated it when he first took over, and haven't been able to stomach it since. I don't want to see people with cow heads performing satanic rituals or whatever the fuck was going on here. That's not what Batman's about. Grant Morrison, you are a weirdo. If it weren't for all that nonsense, the book would have been decent. I liked the narrative from the bad guy, and I especially like that he shot Damian Wayne, who sucks. I didn't see the bullet pass through a head though, so I can't wait to see what cheap gimmick is used to explain the graveyard scene when it's revealed he's not really dead. Art was okay, but not as good as Youngblood. 3/10 |
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Nice. I've never watched a single episode of Doctor Who, so I look forward to trashing this sacred cow. |
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I missed Grant Morrison's Batman. And this book makes me want to go back and read it all over again. Chris Burnham is amazing I've loved his work since Nixon's Pals. The story moves things along with what I'm guessing is Ra's skeleton. I've grown to love Damien Wayne. Sure the first times we hear from the assassin it's awful but he's pretty awful. Really really great book. 9 |
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I guess my biggest reason is difficutly maintaining a suspension of disbelief. Martial arts prowess isn't enough to be a super hero anymore. Everyone has got MMA fever nowadays it seems, lots of gym rat convicts too. Everybody's Kung fu fighting, Batman's not so special. He should tech up like Iron Man, get an enhanced edge like Captain America or get some kind sensory powers like Daredevil or The Shadow. Then he'd have an edge over his advesaries I can believe in. |
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