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by **LOLtron** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 4:10 pm

Marvel plugs a hole for titles starring Wolverine with X-Treme X-Men, bursting out of the pages of Astonishing X-Men.

Marvel has a problem. They want to find a way to fit Wolverine into every book they publish and thus increase sales, but the public is starting to catch on to their plans. Wolverine is quickly becoming the Mary Sue of the Marvel Universe. Not only is he the leader of the Avengers and the X-Men, a friend to most of the Marvel Universe, and just set the Guiness World Record for most appearances in a single month, but he has also recently guest starred in an episode of Marvel's animated crapfest Ultimate Spider-Man. The truth is, the market is becoming a tiny little bit oversaturated with the ol' canucklehead.

Enter Captain Howlett, an alternate universe Wolverine that is totally different because he sports some slightly altered facial hair and has an enormous... gun. That's right, X-Treme X-Men reveals the size of Wolverine's favorite weapon of choice in this alternate cover. The cover shows Wolverine's gun cocked and ready to go in between his legs as both Emmeline Frost and Kid Nightcrawler look on longingly. Not only does Frost look ready to climb on top of the gun, it looks like Kid Nightcrawler is ready to kick her in the head to get at it first.

Of course, the differences between Captian Howlett and regular Wolverine are obvious, since the regular version, being Canadian and an anime lover, has a small, rarely used gun. And by gun, we mean penis. In fact, in the traditional Marvel Universe, Wolverine does not use guns at all, preferring to stick his hardened bone (claws) into teen girls instead.

Here's the press release:

Salvador Larroca Covers X-TREME X-MEN #1!

Marvel is proud to present your first look at superstar artist Salvador Larroca's variant cover to X-Treme X-Men #1, an all-new ongoing series spinning directly out of the pages of Astonishing X-Men! Follow the team of Captain Howlett, Emmeline Frost, Kid Nightcrawler, and Dazzler as they embark on an epic journey saving the multiverse! But with one of the X-Men lost between dimensions and no guaranteed way home, will the adventure be over before it begins? New York Times Best Selling author Greg Pak and red-hot artist Stephen Segovia bring you the answers in X-Treme X-Men #1, coming to comic shops everywhere, the Marvel Comics app and the Marvel Digital Comics Shop this July.

X-TREME X-MEN #1 (MAY120705)
X-TREME X-MEN #1 LARROCA VARIANT (MAY120706)
Written by GREG PAK
Penciled by STEPHEN SEGOVIA
Cover by JULIAN TEDESCO
Variant Cover by SALVADOR LARROCA
FOC – 7/2/2012, On Sale – 7/25/2012