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SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

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SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby LOLtron » Sun Jul 15, 2012 7:35 pm

SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On YachtNot only did ComicBookResources scrub all traces of an Outhouse link from their forums today, but they never let our reporters on their yacht at Comic Con either.



Controversy erupted on message boards across the internet this weekend when it was officially confirmed that inappropriately beloved teen character Stephanie Brown was to be replaced in the Smallville digital comic by known tramp and charlatan Barbara Gordon. Stephanie, who has been the subject of illicit fanboy desires for over a decade, was to appear in the comic as Nightwing, lifting the hearts of the dozens of the character's fans who had been clamoring for her appearance in the DCnU, where she has been thus far shunned.

The snubbing of the character in exchange for the former "cripple" was the final straw for many fanboys and alleged fangirls, who have viewed the slighting of Stephanie as a personal affront toward fans and part of some larger conspiracy or vendetta against Stephanie and other nubile teen characters such as Cassandra Cain perpetrated by DC's glorious leader Dan Didio and other shadowy executives who clearly have something against the love grown men have for young teenage girls.

In fact, an organized group of Stephanie Brown fans known as Passionate Enthusiasts Dedicated Only to Stephanie, or P.E.D.O.S., recently started a campaign called Waffles for Stephanie, in which fans were encouraged to mail waffles to Dan Didio at the DC offices in order to show their support of the beleaguered teen. The questionable content of the waffle batter has not been verified, but this reporter would advise Dan Didio and other DC executives to avoid eating them.

Today, a concerned British teen known only as "Twigglet" who posts at several internet comics forums, including The Outhouse, engaged fans of Stephanie in a thread on CBR's forums, expressing his concern for their well being after noticing their collective overreaction at the Smallville snubbing. Twigglet was immediately met with accusations of trolling, specifically "concern trolling," as if his legitimate  attempts to help fans get over their pain and suffering at the lack of a Stephanie comic was somehow a performance designed to rile them up, which this reporter can say, knowing Twigglet very well, is an unfounded and unfair allegation. Twigglet's concern was not only genuine, but well warranted, as CBR posters soon admitted that the treatment of Stephanie would sooner or later lead to fan suicide.

Outhouse posters on the Outhouse forums noticed Twigglet's social activism and commented in the Outhouse's own thread about Stephanie, cheering on his valid and helpful attempt to improve the lives of obsessed Stephanie fans. Shortly thereafter, a CBR poster noticed the Outhouse thread and posted a link on the CBR forums. Before The Outhouse could reap many sweet, sweet unique hits, however, CBR moderators deleted the link, as well as any trace of a reference to the Outhouse, a clear example of what is known in the Internet Comics Community as "MAWD ABUSE."

This reporter cannot help but feel slighted by this discourteous refusal to share the wealth of unique hits, of which CBR has no shortage. To add insult to injury, CBR never responded to this reporters pleas prior to San Diego Comic Con to allow The Outhouse's reporters to tag along on CBR's yacht, despite a clear and generous offer of handjobs and warm beer in return.

In fact, as sweet, sweet unique hits are the lifeblood of The Outhouse, these actions can only be viewed as an attempt to KILL THE OUTHOUSE, crushing it beneath the iron boot heel of corporate backing and fluff journalism. The Outhouse, however, will not be bullied, and aims to continue to strive to provide a unique voice in the internet comics community, one that does not grade comics reviews on a scale of 4-and-a-half to 5 stars in return for an unlimited supply of exclusive interviews and content from an incestuous relationship with major comics publishers.

Jonah Weiland could not be reached for comment yesterday, though there were unconfirmed reports that a man matching his description was seen in the con parking lot swearing and shaking his fist at a toy helicopter with the word "Thanos" roughly scrawled across it in wax crayon. There is also absolutely no evidence to back up claims that Weiland is intimdated by Outhouse poster The Nacireman's profound heterosxuality.

The Outhouse, however, is not one to hold a grudge. So what if our reporters drank fortified wine out of a paper bag in the cold alley behind the convention center while CBR staff lounged comfortably on a luxious yacht, sipping martinis out of fine crystal? There is enough room in the Internet Comics Community for all of us, CBR. It's been a long weekend and we're all pretty tired. We still love you, baby. Let's just put all this behind us, become friends again, and please, if you see our reporters sleeping in a dumpster behind the con tonight, give them a few bucks for bus fare, okay? We appreciate it.



Written or Contributed by: Jude Terror


http://www.theouthousers.com/index.php/news/convention-news/20550-sdcc-cbr-fears-outhouse-wont-let-us-on-yacht.html/
Last edited by LOLtron on Sun Jul 15, 2012 7:44 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Reason: JFusion Discussion Bot UPDATE
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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby Cat-Scratch » Sun Jul 15, 2012 7:45 pm

We need a submarine...
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Strict31 wrote:To quote Hunter S. Thompson, there is nothing more despicable than a cat in the depths of a nip binge..
Strict31 wrote:Listen to Feline Mussolini.
Strict31 wrote:You're goddamned insane.
achilles wrote:Pay no attention to Cat-Scratch people; he's insane from all that cat-nip.
Lord Simian wrote:"Us"? This is YOUR Kongdamn fault, mister "Bets on when this place will break again"....
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Ragnascratch is coming... maybe.
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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby Jubilee » Sun Jul 15, 2012 7:45 pm

I'd just like to add I've been advised by my aides to remain quiet on this issue for now, but I will eventually release a statement.
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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby Cat-Scratch » Sun Jul 15, 2012 7:47 pm

Jubilee wrote:I'd just like to add I've been advised by my aides to remain quiet on this issue for now, but I will eventually release a statement.


BLEEDING COOL!!! BLEEDING COOL!!! BLEEDING COOL!!!
Image
Strict31 wrote:To quote Hunter S. Thompson, there is nothing more despicable than a cat in the depths of a nip binge..
Strict31 wrote:Listen to Feline Mussolini.
Strict31 wrote:You're goddamned insane.
achilles wrote:Pay no attention to Cat-Scratch people; he's insane from all that cat-nip.
Lord Simian wrote:"Us"? This is YOUR Kongdamn fault, mister "Bets on when this place will break again"....
Psivage wrote:Don't trust a cat. They are always up to no good.
Ragnascratch is coming... maybe.
/人 ◕ ‿‿ ◕ 人\

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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby fieldy snuts » Sun Jul 15, 2012 7:48 pm

Jubilee wrote:I'd just like to add I've been advised by my aides to remain quiet on this issue for now, but I will eventually release a statement.


Fight the power Twigg!!!!!

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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby nietoperz » Sun Jul 15, 2012 7:48 pm

Cat-Scratch wrote:
BLEEDING COOL!!! BLEEDING COOL!!! BLEEDING COOL!!!


Rich J may have been sent a link to this article...
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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby Cat-Scratch » Sun Jul 15, 2012 7:50 pm

nietoperz wrote:
Rich J may have been sent a link to this article...


If only their fight went across three forums... a legend would have been born...
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Strict31 wrote:To quote Hunter S. Thompson, there is nothing more despicable than a cat in the depths of a nip binge..
Strict31 wrote:Listen to Feline Mussolini.
Strict31 wrote:You're goddamned insane.
achilles wrote:Pay no attention to Cat-Scratch people; he's insane from all that cat-nip.
Lord Simian wrote:"Us"? This is YOUR Kongdamn fault, mister "Bets on when this place will break again"....
Psivage wrote:Don't trust a cat. They are always up to no good.
Ragnascratch is coming... maybe.
/人 ◕ ‿‿ ◕ 人\

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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby Stephen Day » Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:01 pm

Jubilee wrote:I'd just like to add I've been advised by my aides to remain quiet on this issue for now, but I will eventually release a statement.


What are you hiding now Twigg? :smt011
:P :wink:
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Thank you Troy for the sig

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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby syxxpakk » Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:02 pm

:lol:
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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby Victorian Squid » Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:03 pm

I heard if they caught you swearing on the CBR yacht, it's walk the plank for you.

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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby Zechs » Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:27 pm

Jubilee wrote:I'd just like to add I've been advised by my aides to remain quiet on this issue for now, but I will eventually release a statement.


Uh oh.. CBR used their Marvel sway to endanger the life of Twiggy fav character Jubilee didn't they? THOSE EVIL BASTARDS!!
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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby fieldy snuts » Sun Jul 15, 2012 9:02 pm

Who really needs a yacht party.

Rent a top Vegas hotel room overnight and fill it up with hookers and booze. You'll steal all their guests at their posh yacht soiree. And if one of them is a blond latina you'll have gotten John Byrne there.

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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby Amoebas » Sun Jul 15, 2012 9:19 pm

It's been weird today, that's for sure.

'Weird' in the sense that Twig comes out as the hero.

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Re: SDCC: CBR Fears Outhouse, Won't Let Us On Yacht

Postby fieldy snuts » Sun Jul 15, 2012 9:21 pm

Amoebas wrote:It's been weird today, that's for sure.

'Weird' in the sense that Twig comes out as the hero.


He always has been in my book, not to a lot of people here since his opinions mostly fly against many people here.

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