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Spidertour02's Sequentials

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spidertour02

rubber spoon

Postby spidertour02 » Wed May 07, 2008 7:49 pm

What the heck, I'll drop my sequentials in here. I'm going to try to do more over the summer, but for now I'll just put some older stuff.

THREE PAGES OF TEST STUFF

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SIX PAGE ANTHOLOGY STORY
(I'll save you the trouble -- the flashback panels are piss-poor. I didn't make them different enogh to stand out!)

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SINGLE GREENDALE UNIVERSITY PAGE
(This is the most recent. It was my first attempt at integrating SketchUp into my process.)

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User avatar

AntiLogic

Factor 8

Postby AntiLogic » Thu May 15, 2008 5:30 am

Hey Spider.... so, I've looked your pages a handful of times... before I give you my review, (do you still want my review?), could you please tell me a little about each of these pages, the direction/storyline per frame? I'll review these after I read your comments.

Thanks.

Pedi
User avatar

spidertour02

rubber spoon

Postby spidertour02 » Thu May 15, 2008 12:43 pm

pedi wrote:Hey Spider.... so, I've looked your pages a handful of times... before I give you my review, (do you still want my review?), could you please tell me a little about each of these pages, the direction/storyline per frame? I'll review these after I read your comments.

Thanks.

Pedi


Sure!

The first three pages are a random "car chase" set. Basically, some ski-msk-wearing dudes have a woman in the back of a plumbing truck and are being chased by the cops (and a heavily silhouetted Spider-Man).

The set of six pages is a story I did for Jon and Co. for one of their anthologies. Basically, the main character (Executioner) is fighting a bunch of his former allies that have now turned on him. We learn in fashbacks (there are two flashback panels, but I didn't make them different enough ... they're Page 2 Panel 4 and Page 5 Panel 4) that the group's leader -- Graft, the metal dude -- had a disagreement of some sort with Executioner and turned his team on Ex right before the story begins (sort of like a Page Zero). Executioner is defeated after putting up a good fight, and Graft (with conflicted emotions) blasts Executioner into space to get rid of him.

I hope that helps, and thanks for the feedback! :D
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Alcoholic_Spider

Factor 8

Postby Alcoholic_Spider » Sun May 18, 2008 6:16 pm

Spider,

At first glance,(and I'm no Pedi mind you), I'd say clean up the pages a bit, so many smudges can obscure the real work. It looks like you worked real hard on these, in some cases maybe overworked. I'm not sure what the general consensus is on filling all the blacks in yourself as opposed to marking "x's" on the areas. I know from personal experience it's hard to proceed for me w/o doing that, so i can see the complete package. But if you're trying to mainstay as a penciller than it might work for you to let a little of the graphite go.

Proportions. I'd consider this even if you were aiming for a cartoony approach some of the proportions i.e. head vs. figure/body seem a bit off and squashed. It looks like the bobble head version of your characters in some cases. Was that your intent?

You're attention to detail and your buildings etc. back grounds are filling and I applaud you for that effort!

But your faces and differentiating between the various characters seems too similar. Reference might allow for some more variety.

Have you done any work study as far as faces go w/ different ethnicities?

Hope I didn't offend w/ any of my comments, just what I noticed. I have ways to go w/ my own work.
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AntiLogic

Factor 8

Postby AntiLogic » Tue May 20, 2008 11:34 pm

Hey Spider.... sorry for keeping you waiting.... just way too much on my plate at the moment, but I promise I'll review your pages soon. As for JHunter's crit... he's pretty correct with what he's commenting on... nice crit J.
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Alcoholic_Spider

Factor 8

Postby Alcoholic_Spider » Thu May 22, 2008 8:11 am

Thanks, I only got time myself to browse, I need to get some drawing done soon so I can really contribute to this place!
User avatar

AntiLogic

Factor 8

Postby AntiLogic » Thu May 29, 2008 2:03 am

spidertour02 wrote:Sure!

The first three pages are a random "car chase" set. Basically, some ski-msk-wearing dudes have a woman in the back of a plumbing truck and are being chased by the cops (and a heavily silhouetted Spider-Man).

The set of six pages is a story I did for Jon and Co. for one of their anthologies. Basically, the main character (Executioner) is fighting a bunch of his former allies that have now turned on him. We learn in fashbacks (there are two flashback panels, but I didn't make them different enough ... they're Page 2 Panel 4 and Page 5 Panel 4) that the group's leader -- Graft, the metal dude -- had a disagreement of some sort with Executioner and turned his team on Ex right before the story begins (sort of like a Page Zero). Executioner is defeated after putting up a good fight, and Graft (with conflicted emotions) blasts Executioner into space to get rid of him.

I hope that helps, and thanks for the feedback! :D


Spider...

Man, I gotta tell ya, I've looked over these pages several times now. I keep thinking about where I'm gonna start, how to word it out without sounding too blunt or harsh, or hurting your feelings........... F*ck it.

Spider, dude, the pages show you have the desire and motivation to be a professional. Yes. But. It's all very difficult to follow. The story-telling is confusing. The characters aren't consistent enough to know who's who. The layouts are whack. (yeah, WHACK! :) ) Your proportions are out-of-whack. Your vehicles are off. Your shadows are far too prominent. Your pencil lines are bleeding all into each other.... Your backgrounds are decent at times, but that's because you trace from 3d.

Though, your musculature in parts is decent. Your faces are emotive. Your much further in your understanding than a total novice. It shows you care and you really want to be a pro......... but, you really have to learn a lot more in perspective, structure, anatomy, proportions, shading, line-work.......... the list continues.

Dude, just keep going. I don't know how old you are.... you could be 12, and if that's the case, you're pretty good......... but if you're 30, then it's a whole other story.

It shows you have potential. The rest depends entirely on how much time and effort you put toward learning the world around you. If you know what your weaknesses are, then focus on strengthening them.

If you have any specific questions regarding your pages, please ask them. Otherwise, there's far too many points to crit in these pages, so............. don't give up, don't stop drawing.

Sorry for taking so long to crit these..... :)

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