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Greg's Strange Tales

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Doc Jon

Rain Partier

Postby Doc Jon » Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:11 pm

Greg wrote:Ugh, I can't think of any Strange Tales to write! >:( :-[


I've got a pretty good character you could work on.

He's a vampire hunter who keeps a female vampire captive. When hunting, he drinks blood extracted from her to give him superhuman abilities.

Of course there's an addiction angle and then there's the attraction to the female vamp. I think it's got story possibilities.

I call the hunter Isaiah.
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Alcoholic_Spider

Factor 8

Postby Alcoholic_Spider » Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:53 pm

Greg, I read the Robert story and got some feedback, of which I'll provide later.
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Alcoholic_Spider

Factor 8

Postby Alcoholic_Spider » Tue Jun 17, 2008 8:06 pm

Don't mention it Greg.

Ok, so as was reading your Robert script I said to myself last night. "Hmm, this guy puts alot more description in his panels than I do. I need to start defining more w/ details so the artist isn't left w/ a total blank slate." Then I check my own script thread and you say the very same thing, lol.

So good description but I think you sorta ran out of energy towards the end there. I'd reconsider the pace when the guy finally goes in the house and I'd have more of an exchange betw. him and the witch. There needs to be some sort of exchange rate that merits him burning down her house. It leaves the reader wondering if she really is evil or is it him?

I'd consider changing up your angles visually like in the first panel. If it's a straight on shot of the creepy house, would a quarter view upwards angle be more scary? Esp. if you fram Robert and his long hair, long black coat it really does play w/ your head who's the more scarier. It helps set the mood.

Just some thoughts. I'll read the next script when I have more time. I'm swamped.
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Doc Jon

Rain Partier

Postby Doc Jon » Thu Jun 19, 2008 6:20 pm

I like it. There are a couple edits I would make, but I think it's pretty solid.

Some of the changes I would make deal more with the fact that vampires are just different in my head. They would be visible in mirrors, vulnerable to silver, and generally more like the ones in the Blade movies.

I think this has potential and we should consider it for a future anthology. I have an entire backstory for the existence of vampires and where they fit in the world that would work perfectly here.

We can also tie it into the Bludverse as the seedy, mystical underbelly.
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Doc Jon

Rain Partier

Postby Doc Jon » Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:18 pm

Greg wrote:That'd be so awesome, Jon! What else would you like me to fix up?


I think the Light Bearer thing should go. It's too comic bookey.

Isaiah should just be a badass with no pretentions of destiny. At least not at first. He's basically an addict who justifies what he's doing because he's doing some good.

I'm also wondering about the son. I like it cause it's shocking, but it seems a little too big of a development for an intro/short story. What if we just made it into his apprentice? I think there would still be a similar effect, but we can save a father/son dynamic for a bigger story.

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