The Outhouse - The Greatest Comic Book Forum

[Nekid_Monkey]

Be brutal, take no prisoners, but Id like you to review this as a whole in conjunction with the art.

page 1


page 2


page 3


page 4


page 5


page 6


page 7


page 8


and that's all folks, hope it at least makes people laugh or think a bit. thanks in advance for taking a look,

[Doc Jon]

I was reading this the other day on your deviant page.

Let me look through all of it and get back to you.

[pedi]

Hey Nekid.... I'll give you my crit once I find a free moment.

Jon........ how come you guys don't have Nekid's strips on your home site as content?

[Doc Jon]

Hey Nekid.... I'll give you my crit once I find a free moment.

Jon........ how come you guys don't have Nekid's strips on your home site as content?

I just heard about this strip and checked it out this week.

I want it on the front page, but this isn't really a strip but rather an 8 page story. I'll still put it on the front page, but I wanted a chance to read through it first.

We'd definitely consider publishing any strips by Nekkid and he knows that.

[pedi]

Nekid,

Heh......... I read your story, studied your art............ and it triggered a mild flashback

I liked it. It's original. It's not serious, though the topic is, kinda, in a "deep", nonsensical way.

The writing style reminds me of some artsy, black and white, transcendental, drug-induced french film..... except, with vibrant colorful cartoony animals.... The story-telling, texture and stylistic art are an interesting mix and, surprisingly, communicate the concept well. The use of your abstract art panels to convey the ethereal notions, were a nice touch.

Though, a bit of a long read.... 8 pages was a bit much for the concept, without enough of a punchline to support the weight.......... could've used a bit of editing, or more shrooms, to keep the hallucination interesting.

Keep'm coming.

[Nekid_Monkey]

;D cool. Hehe. Once again Eddie campbell is a big influence.

Jon. Im trying to make more of these 8 pagers so that you'll have enough material to put online, Ill tell you once I have enough.

Thanks for the comments! Im really proud of this 8 pager, probly the best and most personal thing Ive written. I agree with you on the ending, but I guess its a hit or miss since I when I started this I never wanted it to be a punchline type of story. Oh well, glad you guys liked the coloring and writing. The biggest worry for me was the whole abstract parts, didnt know if it would do anything for anyone. I was kind of afraid that some of it would just end up being pretentious panels, good to see that it didnt become more of the latter.

[pedi]

;D cool. Hehe. Once again Eddie campbell is a big influence.

Jon. Im trying to make more of these 8 pagers so that you'll have enough material to put online, Ill tell you once I have enough.

Thanks for the comments! Im really proud of this 8 pager, probly the best and most personal thing Ive written. I agree with you on the ending, but I guess its a hit or miss since I when I started this I never wanted it to be a punchline type of story. Oh well, glad you guys liked the coloring and writing. The biggest worry for me was the whole abstract parts, didnt know if it would do anything for anyone. I was kind of afraid that some of it would just end up being pretentious panels, good to see that it didnt become more of the latter.

Well, I didn't mean "punchline" as in haha.... more so referring to a climax, a third act, a reason for being a story, rather than just a stream of emotive thought.

Your thoughts are definitely interesting in a disturbed kinda way. You've definitely got something, a visual style and a voice. There's going to be someone, or more than one, your story connects to on the same deep personal level that inspired you to produce it. But, if you're looking to appeal to the masses, then IMO, there's a certain structure in developing a story, that is lacking in a way, from this story. But then again, not all stories need a Hollywood ending.

[Alcoholic_Spider]

;D cool. Hehe. Once again Eddie campbell is a big influence.

Jon. Im trying to make more of these 8 pagers so that you'll have enough material to put online, Ill tell you once I have enough.

Thanks for the comments! Im really proud of this 8 pager, probly the best and most personal thing Ive written. I agree with you on the ending, but I guess its a hit or miss since I when I started this I never wanted it to be a punchline type of story. Oh well, glad you guys liked the coloring and writing. The biggest worry for me was the whole abstract parts, didnt know if it would do anything for anyone. I was kind of afraid that some of it would just end up being pretentious panels, good to see that it didnt become more of the latter.

Well, I didn't mean "punchline" as in haha.... more so referring to a climax, a third act, a reason for being a story, rather than just a stream of emotive thought.

Your thoughts are definitely interesting in a disturbed kinda way. You've definitely got something, a visual style and a voice. There's going to be someone, or more than one, your story connects to on the same deep personal level that inspired you to produce it. But, if you're looking to appeal to the masses, then IMO, there's a certain structure in developing a story, that is lacking in a way, from this story. But then again, not all stories need a Hollywood ending.

Yea, not a hollywood ending just a small payout for the reader's investment of time, emotion, and thought. Readers are stingy, "what's in it for me", type of peeps. So they expect to get a payout at the end.

Unfortunately we as writers aren't always writing FOR THEM, lol. I wish women understood this, hah.