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Greg's Strange Tales

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Rain Partier

Postby Greg » Sun Dec 28, 2008 3:08 pm

Well, over at the Bludnet I had a thread where I posted my short horror scripts and I'll be bringing it back over here. C&C is highly appreciated. The scripts will be VERY short and take about 2-5 minutes to read, that way it doesn't take a lot of time because I know many people don't like reading scripts. Do tell me what you all think, I'd highly appreciate it. And don't chicken out and pussyfoot. Be completely honest. I'm not someone who feels heartbroken when given criticism, I actually encourage it, even if it pains me. Keep in mind, if you're afraid to hurt me... I'm a masochist. :wink:
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Rain Partier

Postby Greg » Sun Dec 28, 2008 3:10 pm

This was the last script I posted over at the Bludnet, never got any real critique for it. Also one of the last ones I've written. I was going through months of writer's block and this was churned out. I'd actually like to turn this into a short film, maybe for qualify film class. But anyhoo...

Crossing Fear

Page One:

Panel One: We open up to the bedroom of Susan and Roger. Susan is lying on the bed dressed in her night gown, her head rested on her arms as she’s looking at her husband who has just gotten home from work and is sitting down on the bed, beginning to take the tie off his collar. His business jacket is rested on the bed, his shoes already off. Susan has a smile on her face as she’s speaking to her husband while Roger looks tired but at the same time reassuring. On the drawers next to the bed are pictures of the two with their six year old son.

Susan: Roger, your son is having trouble sleeping.

Roger: Why? What’s wrong?

Susan: He’s nervous about his play tomorrow. Says he doesn’t want to perform anymore. He’s scared.

Roger: Alright, alright, I’ll talk to him…

Panel Two: We’re inside of their son, Bobby’s, bedroom now. The lights are turned on. Posters of superheroes on the wall, toys all over the place. We are looking at Bobby who’s looking back at us, his eyes looking worried as he has the sheets covering his body. Behind him is the door which has crept open and reveals his father’s face.

Roger: Hey, kiddo. Still up?

Panel Three: Now we’re looking sort of through Roger’s POV, I‘d say sort of behind Roger’s shoulder. Bobby has turned his head and is looking towards his father.

Bobby: Hi, Dad.

Roger: Can I come in?

Bobby: Okay.

Panel Four: Side shot of Roger now sitting on his son’s bed, Bobby now sitting up also.

Roger: Mom tells me you’re nervous about the play tomorrow.

Bobby: Yeah…

Roger: Are you kidding me? You’re gonna steal the show! You’ve practiced every single day and hardly ever took any breaks, kid!

Page Two

Panel One: Close-up on Bobby, a worried look on his adorable looking face.

Bobby: But what if I mess up in front of all those people?

Panel Two: We’re looking at Robert now.

Roger: Then you keep on going. When there’s a challenge, never fear. You chin up and walk. You keep on going.

Panel Three: A shot now of Roger lifting Bobby up as he himself is still sitting down.

Bobby: But-

Roger: Not buts. Now, come here. Sit down on my lap and I’ll tell you a little story.

Panel Four: Shot of Bobby looking up as he’s planted on his dear father’s lap. He’s still looking a little worried, but at the same time try to sort of diminish the look a little and show that his father simply being there to talk to him has made him relax a little bit.

Roger: Now, this is a story I’ve known since I was as young as you were. About a boy also as young as you. And like you, he had a challenge in front of him…

Panel Five: Now we’re inside of Roger's story. It is night, lanterns and the moon being the source of light as we open up behind a young boy who is standing in front of a bridge. It is a normal looking bridge, nothing spectacular.

Caption: “The boy’s name was William…”

Page Three

Panel One: Close-up on William, looking scared to cross the bridge.

Caption: “And William was petrified in crossing the bridge. The sad thing was, he had to cross the bridge…”

Panel Two: Now a shot of the bridge from William’s POV, as we see a bunch of shadowy figures all with sharp white teeth all smiling very frightening towards us.

Caption: “…But the monsters underneath the bridge made it very difficult.”

Panel Three: We’re back to Bobby’s bedroom as he’s looking attentively at his father as his father looks dearly and reassuring at his son as he’s pointing his index finger into Bobby’s chest.

Roger: But you know what William did? Like you, he practiced his heart out to ignore the monsters and be able to stand against him, to toss his fear aside.

Panel Four-Seven: I think these next few panels should be really small and aligned next to each other. They’re simple shots of his feet walking forward through the bridge. Panel Four we see his right foot. Five: left foot, and so on.

Panel Eight: Now a shot back to the story, we are in front of William as he’s crossing the bridge, the monsters all surrounding him. William has a scared look on his face, but he’s still walking forward.

Page Four

Panel One: Back to a close-up of Bobby, his eyes wide in fascination!

Bobby: Did he make it?!

Panel Two: Shot of Roger with a smile on his face.

Roger: Yes, he did. He made it safely across the bridge. Just like how you’ll finish your play tomorrow, act your butt off and get those cheers. Then you, me, and mommy will go out for ice cream.

Panel Three: Now a side shot of Bobby and Roger embracing.

Bobby: Thanks, Dad. I feel better now.

Panel Four: Shot now of Susan looking surprised.

Susan: You told him that story your father told you to scare you as a child?! Are you insane? That’s a terrible story!

Panel Five: Shot of Roger sitting down on his bed in his night clothes, reading a newspaper.

Roger: Don’t worry, Susan. I didn’t tell him the end…

Page Five:

Splash page of William screaming for his life as he’s running away from the bridge with a mob of monsters chasing him. Have fun with how the monsters look, scary, creepy, or just ridiculous looking. In contrast to William’s scared facial expression, have the monsters looking happy as they’re after him.

Caption: “..I didn’t tell him that when William crossed the bridge, he hadn’t prepared himself to face the monsters on the opposite side of the bridge.”
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Outhouse Drafter

Postby Pecs » Sun Dec 28, 2008 6:39 pm

Good job. :)
I like that you set it up by panels and stuff.
I feel like the "Other Side Monsters" thing was supposed to be a metaphor but I don't get of what.
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Rain Partier

Postby Greg » Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:11 pm

Very thanks, pecs. The monster on the otherside if taken metaphorically can be to represent the a lot of the ugliness and bad things when having the courage or taking risks. It's not always a good thing. :D

Here's one I just finished writing. I started it months back but due to being constantly busy with school, I never got to finish it. I think all the time spent from me not being able to write it helped out a bit.


Page One

Panel One: Opening up the story with a wide panel shot behind a boy in his pre-teens as he’s looking out the window. He’s leaning against the couch, his head rested on his arms as the kids outside of the house on the streets are all enjoying themselves, riding bikes, jumping rope, throwing a football, etc. The boy’s name is Richie.

Richie: Mom… can I go outside and play?

Mom (off-panel): No.

Panel Two: Now we’re in a shop, on the shelf is a cage with a cute little hamster. Richie is pointing at the hamster while looking up at his mother, her face we don’t see.

Mom: No.

Panel Three: Shot now of Richie with a smile on his face while he’s talking to his friend who‘s also as excited. Both have book bags on their backs indicating that they’re in school.

Friend: We’re going to see Dead Or Us this Saturday. My older brother’s taking us. Wanna come?

Richie: I gotta ask my mom.

Panel Four: Same exact shot, only this time they’re wearing different clothes and the smile that was previously on Richie and his friend’s face have disappeared into disappointment.

Friend: Dang, that’s too bad. Maybe next time.

Page Two

Panel One: Open this page with a shot outside of an antique shop - Raja’s Antiques . It is day and Richie and his mom are walking into the shop. The shop is about two stories tall and looks quite elegant.

Panel Two: We’re inside the shop now. The shop looks really nice with tons of lovely looking antiques all over the place. African masks, vases, jewelry, lamps, tables, toys, etc. Richie’s mom is standing by the register, we see her from behind as she‘s wearing a suit. Richie is in front of us, his head looking around in fascination.

Mom: Don’t touch anything, Richie.

Panel Three: Richie has drifted through the shop. This is a side shot of Richie, his head turned away from us as we see more antiques around. One a table right in front of us is a lamp, shaped like the mythical magic lamp that holds a genie.

Panel Four: Same exact shot, only this time Richie’s head is turned and has spotted the lamp. He looks fascinated.

Panel Five: A shot now of Richie’s hand touching the lamp. Smoke is starting to swirl out of the lamp.

Page Three

Panel One: A wide panel shot behind Richie as he’s taken aback at a large genie staring down at him. The genie has a very large and muscular upper frame and definitely looks like someone you shouldn’t mess with. His lower body is swirling smoke as it still seems to be swirling from the magic lamp. He has a very long goatee and golden hoop earrings. I don’t have a specific design in mind for him, if he’ll be wearing anything, so you have permission to go all out. Just as long as he looks intimating.

Genie: Who awakens me from my slumber?
Who indeed, who I wonder?

Richie: Whooaaa!!!

Panel Two: We’re now looking only at the genie, maybe a mid-shot of him. He looks very annoyed, not impressed at all. I think what would work best to have panels 2 and 3 directly connected side-by-side to each other and have the letters going back and forth in the middle as each character talks.

Panel Three: A close-up on Richie looking up, a smile on his face.

Genie: Ah, master child for the time being.
Oh, the joy. Probably a cretin.

Richie: Ah, man! A genie?! That’s so cool. Hi! My name is-

Genie: Yadda yadda, I really don’t care.
Let’s just move this on ahead.
But I must warn you instead of three, you only have one.
Yeah, it sucks, but last master wished for a ton.

Page Four

Page One: A close-up on the boy looking very confused.

Richie: Wait.. How did he wish for a ton if he only had three wishes? And I only have one? That’s so unfair.

Panel Two: Back to the genie.

Genie: He was a cruel and selfish master, that one was.
And very cunning, first wishing for an extending clause.
When the final wish finally drew near,
he said, “Next master only gets one wish” with a sneer.
A fair enough warning, you never know what’s in store
So be very careful what you are wishing for.

Panel Three: A shot back to Richie as his face is down, looking very annoyed at his mother’s voice.

Mom: Richie, we’re leaving!

Richie: I know exactly what I want…

Panel Four: Same show, only this time he’s looking up with confidence on his face.

Richie: I want my freedom!

Panel Five: Back to the Genie with a suspicious looking smile on his face.

Genie: Your wish is my command
Silly simple little man

Page Five: Splash page of Richie floating up towards the sky, his face in complete terror.

Genie (off-panel): Unspecific was your wish, you see
So how about a freedom from gravity?
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Outhouse Drafter

Postby Pecs » Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:26 pm

Good once again. :-)


Postby Eric » Tue Dec 30, 2008 6:55 pm

Good job, man. keep them coming.
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Rain Partier

Postby Greg » Sat Jan 24, 2009 11:34 pm

Just gonna bring all my old scripts from the old site here...

edit: aww man! the old bludblood forum is completely gone?!? :( :( :(
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Outhouse Editor

Postby GLX » Sat Jan 24, 2009 11:55 pm

Greg wrote:Just gonna bring all my old scripts from the old site here...

edit: aww man! the old bludblood forum is completely gone?!? :( :( :(

Yep. Do you have backups?
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Rain Partier

Postby Greg » Sat Jan 24, 2009 11:56 pm

GLX wrote:Yep. Do you have backups?

I think.
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Rain Partier

Postby Greg » Sun Jan 25, 2009 1:52 pm

Here's an oldie. One of my first scripts. This was for penciljack and I think my first short script that I had to condense in 5 pages. Lotta stuff I'd change but this is the original thing. Was suppose to be a complete retelling of the classical Mummy character. Tell me what you think.

Page One

Panel One: Victor and Mary Sheling are leaving their house with suitcases in their hands. They are in their late-40s or early 50s. Behind them is their daughter, 19 year old Lena. She is rather beautiful, resembling Keira Knightley. In this shot, we’re behind her and her parents as they’re walking to the door in front of them.

Victor: Remember, no parties. I’m tired of having to clean after all that crap, my dear.

Lena: I know.

Mary: No sex, either.

Lena: Mum!

Panel Two: They are now at the door, Victor and Mary looking at Lena this time. Victor has a bit of a serious face, warning his daughter.

Victor: And no fooling around in the basement. It’s a wicked, cursed place, I tell you.

Panel Three: Close-up on Lena as she’s making a sarcastic face.

Lena: Oohhh, I’m so scared, daddy.

Panel Four: Victor plants a kiss on her daughter’s forehead. Lena has a comfortable smile on her face. From this shot, we can see Lena doesn’t get embarrassed by her dad at all, as her eyes are peacefully closed and her whole face relaxed.

Victor: Be well, my lil’ pumpkin. Eat plenty of junk and get fat to keep away Dracula.

Lena: We’ll give you grandchildren for sure.

Panel Five: Now a long shot in front of their car. We see that they live in a beautiful and humongous house. Victor is walking towards the car while Mary is hugging Lena at the top of the stairs.

Lena: Love you, mum. I’m going to be fine.

Mary: Oh, I know. Just so you know: that sex part was to keep your dad’s pressure down. I left the condoms on the top drawer.

Lena: Mum! Good-bye!

Page Two

Panel One: Lena and her boyfriend, Robert, are on the couch of her house as they are making out. In this panel, we see a lot of the house. Tons of room everywhere. Everything is huge. The television, the fireplace, paints on the wall, everything. I’m not going to go into to much detail so I just want you to have a lot of fun with this room. Just remember to have a good number of paintings hanging up and some antique looking things around on the tables and by the walls in shelves, etc. The television is turned on and is about ten feet away from them.

Panel Two: Close-up on Robert and Lena making out, both passionately into each other. Their lips are intensely entwined together.

Panel Three: Same shot, only this time they have stopped kissing. Their eyes are gazing passionately at each other as we see this is a rather serious relationship. Robert has a really concerned look on his face.

Robert: Are you okay, love? I won’t do anything if you don’t think you’re ready.

Panel Four: In this panel, we’re just focusing on them sitting on the couch. We see nearly their whole body as they’re sitting down in front of each other, their hands holding. His eyes are still on her but her head is turned looking down at the floor. She has a bit of a sad face.

Lena: I want to. I really do want to be ready, but…

Panel Five: Close-up on their lips touching lightly. We can still see their chins, though. Robert is gingerly holding her chin as if her back to plant a kiss.

Robert: It’s okay.

Page Three

Panel One: Robert is still on the couch, Lena’s head laid down upon his chest. His arms are around her shoulder with a smile on his face.

Robert: So your parents are away excavating again?

Lena: Yeah. For about a week or two.

Robert: So… how’s the basement?

Panel Two: Small tight close-up shot of Lena and Robert’s face. She’s now looking up at him with a very serious look on her face, her eyes wide open. Robert has a slight smirk on his face.

Lena: No, Robert. You know we can’t.

Panel Three: We’re now in the basement of the house, Lena and Robert standing side-by-side as they are standing there looking at the room. We are behind them as we’re seeing what they’re seeing. There are tons of beautiful artifacts, but what really stand out are the coffins that are there. Let’s say about four coffins, one of them against the wall at the end of the room. The coffin at the end of the room is an Egyptian sarcophagus, golden and shining compared to everything else in the dark-lit room. Next to the sarcophagus is a desk with a big black diary and other things along with it, maybe more artifacts. In this room, have paintings on the wall, crazy looking vases, books behind glass containers, etc. Like the living room, just have fun, just as long as they’re space for the characters to move around.

Caption: The Basement.

Lena: Robbie… we shouldn’t be in here.

Robert: Ah, don’t be a prude, love. It’s only for a moment. The folks don’t have to know.

Lena: This place is cursed… so daddy says.

Robert: Is that a mummy-coffin?

Panel Four: They’re now by the sarcophagus, highly intrigued by this beautiful golden artifact in front of them. Robert is standing on the side of the sarcophagus near the table with the diary while Lena is on the other side. Robert’s eyes are wide open with intrigue and fascination while Lena doesn’t seem to be too pleased by this due to most likely seeing this more than once. The sarcophagus is extremely beautiful. Tons of beautiful hieroglyphs telling a story are flowing throughout the coffin, the top of the sarcophagus displaying a possibly handsome young man.

Lena: Sarcophagus.

Robert: Have you ever opened it?

Lena: No, Robert, we can’t. Daddy would whip my butt with a sugar cane… he’s done that before.

Robert: Let’s open it, love!

Lena: Fine! Just for a peek for a bloody little second. Then we’ll leave.

Panel Five: Shot of the sarcophagus opened now. The cover of the coffin isn’t entirely opened due to its heaviness, but we still see a good shot of the mummy inside. Typical decayed ugly mummy, eyes closed, nothing too special.

Lena: Goodness heavens, talk about heavy.

Robert: My, my… Ain’t that a beauty to love.

Panel Six: Tight close-up on Lena. Her eyes are wide, finally intrigued and fascinated at what she’s looking at.

Lena: A beauty indeed.

Robert (off-panel): Can you read Egyptian?

Page Four:

Panel One: Robert is now reading through the diary on the desk.

Lena (off-panel): No.

Robert: Some daughter of two rich and popular historians. I’m lost on the fact that they can even have a mummy here. Any who, not to digress and be fretful, seems daddy-dear has unlocked the code for us. Listen to this…

Panel Two: For the next set of panels, we’ll be looking at the story of our mummy during Ancient Egyptian times. Starting with this panel, we have a shot of two baby boys in a basket. The one on the left is slightly bigger than the other and not as pleasing to look at. The other one is very adorable and handsome with a gleeful smile on his face. His tiny hand is holding a thick finger belonging to his father, who we do not see except for his hand. We do see their mother, though, lying right next to the basket, her hand holding her head up for support as she’s looking at her two newborn boys with a big proud smile on her face.

Caption: The mummy we have here, my wife and I have discovered is actually Belltet, the younger twin brother of King Ledtet. Based on the hieroglyphs and other known stories that are already marked down, since birth people have claimed that unlike Ledtet, Belltet was just too beautiful not to fall in love with. It was claimed that even past death, his beauty would draw everyone to admire him.

Panel Three: Now a shot of Ledtet now much older and still not a pleasant person to look at. He looks very strict. He has the crown of a pharaoh and the tied-up/braided piece of jewelry that resembles a braided goatee (the name I forget) that represents his kingship.

Caption: Years have passed, along with their father, this making Ledtet, the oldest of the two, king. He was fierce and cruel, and ruled with a strong iron fist.

Panel Four: We are looking at Belltet now, grown and extremely handsome and breathtaking. He’s sitting down, behind him a beautiful woman has her arms around him, one hand placing a grape in his mouth. They are both obviously enjoying themselves as they are both displaying a great show of laughter and joy in their face. In the far background of this panel, we see Ledtet hiding in the shadows where we only see half of his face looking at his younger brother and this woman. Make Ledtet’s appearance here very subtle, enough to the point that most likely in the first look/read, the reader wouldn’t catch it too easily. But just make sure he’s there, though.

Caption: Belltet had no problem that he wasn’t king. He occupied his time with a woman named Carleia, a highly beautiful woman who even Ledtet, as cruel as he was, loved her and as days passed had grew jealous of his brother.

Panel Five: Mid-shot of Ledtet and Carleia standing face-to-face at each other. He looks extremely angry as he’s holding her arm up, his grip we can see is very tight around her delicate wrist. Her facial expression show that she’s in pain as she looks frightened, tears going down her face.

Caption: But that didn’t stop the cold-hearted king to do as he pleased. He finally grew frustrated and forced her away and married her, claiming he’d have her whole family murdered if she didn’t.

Panel Six: We’re now at a bedroom where we see Carleia and Belltet making love. Belltet is on top of her, the sheets covering their bodies, at least up to Belltet’s waist. No sexual body parts being shown, so have sheets or possibly Belltet’s arm in the way covering her breast. In this shot, we are behind Belltet, so we do not see his face, but we see Carleia’s face, her eyes closed in bliss and ecstasy. What really makes this panel interesting is that at the left side of this panel, outside of the room, stands our king Ledtet against the wall, his ugly face pissed off at what is going on.

Caption: But as we already know, that didn’t stop Belltet and Carleia from continuing their already blossomed relationship.

Page Five:

Panel One: A small panel of Ledtet’s hand pouring a clear liquid onto a bunch of grapes.

Panel Two: A shot behind Carleia as she’s sitting in front of a mirror, combing her hair. On her table is a large bowl filled with all types of grapes. In the mirror’s reflection, we see her free hand about to eat the grapes.

Caption: Driven by a heart-wrenching jealousy, Ledtet poisoned her food that forced her to “eternal sleep.” According to outside sources, the poison did not kill, just makes it seem as if they were, unable to move a single muscle or make a sound or even blink.

Panel Three: Carleia is now in bed, her eyes closed as she looks rather peaceful as if she were having a comforting dream. In this panel we see Belltet watching and smiling down at her.

Caption: Of course, this led to Belltet believing she was asleep. The poor romantic that he was, he leaned over to kiss her awake…

Panel Four: Just a small panel of their lips touching.

Panel Five: Now Belltet’s head is laid upon Carleia’s chest, his eyes and mouth open as he is now poisoned himself.

Panel Six: Back to Robert looking up from reading the diary. He looks a bit taken aback.

Robert: Jeez, what a love story. Says here they both were mummified alive… Love, what are you doing?

Panel Seven: A panel now of Lena planting a kiss to the mummy’s lips. The kiss should greatly resemble the last kiss between Belltet and Carleia. In the background, we see Robert rushing towards her with fear.

Panel Eight: Now, just a small panel at the very bottom of the page, focusing on Belltet’s mummy eyes, now wide open.
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Rain Partier

Postby Greg » Fri Apr 03, 2009 7:30 pm

I was beginning to lose hope, believing I lost this! Yes1 One of my all time favorite scripts!

Page One

Panel One: A wide panel shot in a classroom. In the middle of the shot is our protagonist, Michael. He is sitting down at his desk, no emotion on his face. He is wearing short pants and we can see two bugs crawling on his leg. There are students around him teasing him.

Caption: They call him Bug Boy.

Panel Two: Side shot of Michael, this time we see his bag pack hanging on his chair, a few bugs crawling out of them.

Caption: A quite appropriate name for Michael. Even he doesn’t appose to it.

Caption 2: Quite frankly…

Panel Three: A close-up of Michael, a crumpled sheet of paper hits him in the head.

Panel Four: Same exact shot, but the paper is out of the shot and Michael has a slight smile on his face and a bug on his shoulder.

Caption: …he likes it.

Page Two

Panel One: A shot of Michael at home at the table, crying his eyes out and shaking his arm due to a cockroach on his arm. His mother is in the background with a rolled up newspaper in hand trying to hit the roach. There are some on the table, a spider coming down on his web from the ceiling.

Caption: He used to be so frightened of bugs to the point where it seemed as if they only appeared to make fun of him.

Panel Two: Michael is now sitting cross-legged in his bedroom, reading a thick book. He shares his room with two other siblings, one on the phone obviously loud, the other jumping on the bed.

Caption: When he wasn’t being attacked by bugs, he enjoyed a good long story.

Panel Three: A shot now of the attic of the house, Michael standing next to his father as he’s in awe of all the books around. There are multiple book shelves packed with books, and boxes also.

Caption: Father realized his love for reading and showed him the attic that was filled with books and paper everywhere.

Caption 2: Father called this Michael’s new “domain” and “Fortress of Solitude.”

Panel Four: A close-up on one of the bookshelves as bugs are seen crawling around them.

Caption: Of course, the bugs claimed the attic their domain first.

Panel Five: A small panel right next to panel four of a close up of Michael with a scared and disgust look on his face.

Page Three

Panel One: Now a shot of Michael sitting down in the middle of the attic with a book in his hand. He’s completely taken into what he’s reading. There are a few books around him too, and a few bugs crawling around the place.

Caption: Eventually Michael got over his fear of bugs.

Caption 2: He even got Father to hold back the exterminators.

Panel Two: A shot now of Michael standing up before a book shelf. We’re behind him in this panel. Let’s make this a mid-shot, wide panel. There are TONS of books around, most of them with bugs crawling around them.

Panel Three: Close-up on Michael who has a finger to his lip, wondering which book to pick up.

Caption: And eventually…

Panel Four: A close-up on a few of the books on a shelf. While all of them have bugs crawling on them- some very few- one book is actually spotless with no bug whatsoever. This is the bugs’ way of telling Michael which book to pick up.

Caption: …they grew accustomed to him.

Panel Five: Close-up on Michael again, this time with a smile on his face.

Page Four

Panel One: Its night and we’re in Michael’s room as he’s in bed. His eyes are closed and he looks quite peaceful. On the side of his face, near his ear, is a bug.

Caption: Michael and the bugs even grew to be friends…

Panel Two: Same shot, only this time Michael is laughing.

Caption: …to the point that their bond formed a language they could understand.

Panel Three: Back at the attic, we’re in a close-up on Michael, his hand is up so we can see it, on his fingers are a few bugs crawling about.

Caption: As time went about, Michael grew to appreciate the stories the bugs could tell…

Panel Four: Close-up in a grassy field, a shot of black ants fighting against red ants, a big battle as you see tons of them battling each other.

Caption: The ants shared their story of their battles for their queen…

Panel Five: A shot now of a cockroach running away from a hand spraying a can of bug repellent.

Caption: …the cockroach told of his numerous daring escapes from the can spray…

Panel Six: A shot of Michael’s oldest brother sitting at the toilet with a dirty magazine in his lap. Have the shot behind him as if we’re looking down at him and over his shoulder.

Caption: …the spider laughed with Michael about what his brother really did in the bathroom late at night…

Panel Seven: Now a shot in Michael’s bedroom. We see Michael’s mom having sex with someone who’s not his dad. She is a top of him, sitting. Let’s say basically cow-girl position.

Caption: …the house fly described everything Michael’s mother really did when his brothers and sisters were in school and his father was working…

Page Five

Panel One: Now we’re back to the very beginning of the story where Michael is sitting down at his desk, a smile on his face with his bugs crawling about him and the other students around him making fun of him.

Various dialogue balloon boxes: Bug Boy!!! Bug Boy!! Bug Boy!!

Caption: Eventually, all his books were replaced with the bug stories. But he wanted more.

Caption Two: What were the secrets of the people in class?

Panel Two: Back in the attic, tight close up on Michael with a smile on his face and both his hands raised to his ears, both with a collection of bags feeding him more tales.

Panel Three: A shot of a big, beefy looking kid with an arrogant smile on his face as he’s sitting at his classroom desk.

Caption: The centipede told of the school bully, Richard Snark’s, ritual of sniffing his sister’s panties before bed and putting it under his pillow.

Panel Four: Shot of a girl at her desk looking rather bored with her head resting in her hand, her elbow up on the table.

Caption: The beetle told of Sally Irvin and how she allowed her father to act on his desires on her.

Panel Five: Now we’re at the chalk board, the teacher writing down his class lesson for the day. He has a wedding ring on his finger.

Caption: The moth told Michael about Mr. Poppers, a married man with three kids, of how he’d go to a gay strip club and usually walk out with a different fellow and disappear for the night.

Panel Six: Back to Michael in the attic, but now lying down, arms and legs spread. He has a smile on his face and his eyes are closed in bliss. His face, though, looks to be decaying and breaking apart.

Caption: He enjoyed the bugs so much…

Page Six

Splash page. Michael is lying down on the floor, but every part of him is filled with bugs. He’s actually now a mob of various bugs! Bugs all over the place now. Have fun and go crazy with this page.

Captions: …that he let the stories consume him.
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Rorshach Test Subject

Postby Derm » Fri Apr 03, 2009 8:16 pm

Hi Greg,
I thought the best way to start would be for me to do simple stick figure style story boards of how you describe the story.
Then we can look at which parts are work or not.
Another question I thought of was is there any rating type rules we need to follow.
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Rain Partier

Postby Greg » Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:04 am

Hey, Derm. Sure, the stick figures should be fine. And no, there's no specific ratings. :D
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A Quagmire

Postby FroZen » Sat Apr 04, 2009 8:16 am

Hey Greg...mind if i pencil one of these??
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Rain Partier

Postby Greg » Sat Apr 04, 2009 1:22 pm

FroZen wrote:Hey Greg...mind if i pencil one of these??

Hey, man. By all means, have fun. :-)

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