Here's an oldie. One of my first scripts. This was for penciljack and I think my first short script that I had to condense in 5 pages. Lotta stuff I'd change but this is the original thing. Was suppose to be a complete retelling of the classical Mummy character. Tell me what you think.
Panel One: Victor and Mary Sheling are leaving their house with suitcases in their hands. They are in their late-40s or early 50s. Behind them is their daughter, 19 year old Lena. She is rather beautiful, resembling Keira Knightley. In this shot, we’re behind her and her parents as they’re walking to the door in front of them.
Victor: Remember, no parties. I’m tired of having to clean after all that crap, my dear.
Lena: I know.
Mary: No sex, either.
Panel Two: They are now at the door, Victor and Mary looking at Lena this time. Victor has a bit of a serious face, warning his daughter.
Victor: And no fooling around in the basement. It’s a wicked, cursed place, I tell you.
Panel Three: Close-up on Lena as she’s making a sarcastic face.
Lena: Oohhh, I’m so scared, daddy.
Panel Four: Victor plants a kiss on her daughter’s forehead. Lena has a comfortable smile on her face. From this shot, we can see Lena doesn’t get embarrassed by her dad at all, as her eyes are peacefully closed and her whole face relaxed.
Victor: Be well, my lil’ pumpkin. Eat plenty of junk and get fat to keep away Dracula.
Lena: We’ll give you grandchildren for sure.
Panel Five: Now a long shot in front of their car. We see that they live in a beautiful and humongous house. Victor is walking towards the car while Mary is hugging Lena at the top of the stairs.
Lena: Love you, mum. I’m going to be fine.
Mary: Oh, I know. Just so you know: that sex part was to keep your dad’s pressure down. I left the condoms on the top drawer.
Lena: Mum! Good-bye!
Panel One: Lena and her boyfriend, Robert, are on the couch of her house as they are making out. In this panel, we see a lot of the house. Tons of room everywhere. Everything is huge. The television, the fireplace, paints on the wall, everything. I’m not going to go into to much detail so I just want you to have a lot of fun with this room. Just remember to have a good number of paintings hanging up and some antique looking things around on the tables and by the walls in shelves, etc. The television is turned on and is about ten feet away from them.
Panel Two: Close-up on Robert and Lena making out, both passionately into each other. Their lips are intensely entwined together.
Panel Three: Same shot, only this time they have stopped kissing. Their eyes are gazing passionately at each other as we see this is a rather serious relationship. Robert has a really concerned look on his face.
Robert: Are you okay, love? I won’t do anything if you don’t think you’re ready.
Panel Four: In this panel, we’re just focusing on them sitting on the couch. We see nearly their whole body as they’re sitting down in front of each other, their hands holding. His eyes are still on her but her head is turned looking down at the floor. She has a bit of a sad face.
Lena: I want to. I really do want to be ready, but…
Panel Five: Close-up on their lips touching lightly. We can still see their chins, though. Robert is gingerly holding her chin as if her back to plant a kiss.
Robert: It’s okay.
Panel One: Robert is still on the couch, Lena’s head laid down upon his chest. His arms are around her shoulder with a smile on his face.
Robert: So your parents are away excavating again?
Lena: Yeah. For about a week or two.
Robert: So… how’s the basement?
Panel Two: Small tight close-up shot of Lena and Robert’s face. She’s now looking up at him with a very serious look on her face, her eyes wide open. Robert has a slight smirk on his face.
Lena: No, Robert. You know we can’t.
Panel Three: We’re now in the basement of the house, Lena and Robert standing side-by-side as they are standing there looking at the room. We are behind them as we’re seeing what they’re seeing. There are tons of beautiful artifacts, but what really stand out are the coffins that are there. Let’s say about four coffins, one of them against the wall at the end of the room. The coffin at the end of the room is an Egyptian sarcophagus, golden and shining compared to everything else in the dark-lit room. Next to the sarcophagus is a desk with a big black diary and other things along with it, maybe more artifacts. In this room, have paintings on the wall, crazy looking vases, books behind glass containers, etc. Like the living room, just have fun, just as long as they’re space for the characters to move around.
Caption: The Basement.
Lena: Robbie… we shouldn’t be in here.
Robert: Ah, don’t be a prude, love. It’s only for a moment. The folks don’t have to know.
Lena: This place is cursed… so daddy says.
Robert: Is that a mummy-coffin?
Panel Four: They’re now by the sarcophagus, highly intrigued by this beautiful golden artifact in front of them. Robert is standing on the side of the sarcophagus near the table with the diary while Lena is on the other side. Robert’s eyes are wide open with intrigue and fascination while Lena doesn’t seem to be too pleased by this due to most likely seeing this more than once. The sarcophagus is extremely beautiful. Tons of beautiful hieroglyphs telling a story are flowing throughout the coffin, the top of the sarcophagus displaying a possibly handsome young man.
Robert: Have you ever opened it?
Lena: No, Robert, we can’t. Daddy would whip my butt with a sugar cane… he’s done that before.
Robert: Let’s open it, love!
Lena: Fine! Just for a peek for a bloody little second. Then we’ll leave.
Panel Five: Shot of the sarcophagus opened now. The cover of the coffin isn’t entirely opened due to its heaviness, but we still see a good shot of the mummy inside. Typical decayed ugly mummy, eyes closed, nothing too special.
Lena: Goodness heavens, talk about heavy.
Robert: My, my… Ain’t that a beauty to love.
Panel Six: Tight close-up on Lena. Her eyes are wide, finally intrigued and fascinated at what she’s looking at.
Lena: A beauty indeed.
Robert (off-panel): Can you read Egyptian?
Panel One: Robert is now reading through the diary on the desk.
Lena (off-panel): No.
Robert: Some daughter of two rich and popular historians. I’m lost on the fact that they can even have a mummy here. Any who, not to digress and be fretful, seems daddy-dear has unlocked the code for us. Listen to this…
Panel Two: For the next set of panels, we’ll be looking at the story of our mummy during Ancient Egyptian times. Starting with this panel, we have a shot of two baby boys in a basket. The one on the left is slightly bigger than the other and not as pleasing to look at. The other one is very adorable and handsome with a gleeful smile on his face. His tiny hand is holding a thick finger belonging to his father, who we do not see except for his hand. We do see their mother, though, lying right next to the basket, her hand holding her head up for support as she’s looking at her two newborn boys with a big proud smile on her face.
Caption: The mummy we have here, my wife and I have discovered is actually Belltet, the younger twin brother of King Ledtet. Based on the hieroglyphs and other known stories that are already marked down, since birth people have claimed that unlike Ledtet, Belltet was just too beautiful not to fall in love with. It was claimed that even past death, his beauty would draw everyone to admire him.
Panel Three: Now a shot of Ledtet now much older and still not a pleasant person to look at. He looks very strict. He has the crown of a pharaoh and the tied-up/braided piece of jewelry that resembles a braided goatee (the name I forget) that represents his kingship.
Caption: Years have passed, along with their father, this making Ledtet, the oldest of the two, king. He was fierce and cruel, and ruled with a strong iron fist.
Panel Four: We are looking at Belltet now, grown and extremely handsome and breathtaking. He’s sitting down, behind him a beautiful woman has her arms around him, one hand placing a grape in his mouth. They are both obviously enjoying themselves as they are both displaying a great show of laughter and joy in their face. In the far background of this panel, we see Ledtet hiding in the shadows where we only see half of his face looking at his younger brother and this woman. Make Ledtet’s appearance here very subtle, enough to the point that most likely in the first look/read, the reader wouldn’t catch it too easily. But just make sure he’s there, though.
Caption: Belltet had no problem that he wasn’t king. He occupied his time with a woman named Carleia, a highly beautiful woman who even Ledtet, as cruel as he was, loved her and as days passed had grew jealous of his brother.
Panel Five: Mid-shot of Ledtet and Carleia standing face-to-face at each other. He looks extremely angry as he’s holding her arm up, his grip we can see is very tight around her delicate wrist. Her facial expression show that she’s in pain as she looks frightened, tears going down her face.
Caption: But that didn’t stop the cold-hearted king to do as he pleased. He finally grew frustrated and forced her away and married her, claiming he’d have her whole family murdered if she didn’t.
Panel Six: We’re now at a bedroom where we see Carleia and Belltet making love. Belltet is on top of her, the sheets covering their bodies, at least up to Belltet’s waist. No sexual body parts being shown, so have sheets or possibly Belltet’s arm in the way covering her breast. In this shot, we are behind Belltet, so we do not see his face, but we see Carleia’s face, her eyes closed in bliss and ecstasy. What really makes this panel interesting is that at the left side of this panel, outside of the room, stands our king Ledtet against the wall, his ugly face pissed off at what is going on.
Caption: But as we already know, that didn’t stop Belltet and Carleia from continuing their already blossomed relationship.
Panel One: A small panel of Ledtet’s hand pouring a clear liquid onto a bunch of grapes.
Panel Two: A shot behind Carleia as she’s sitting in front of a mirror, combing her hair. On her table is a large bowl filled with all types of grapes. In the mirror’s reflection, we see her free hand about to eat the grapes.
Caption: Driven by a heart-wrenching jealousy, Ledtet poisoned her food that forced her to “eternal sleep.” According to outside sources, the poison did not kill, just makes it seem as if they were, unable to move a single muscle or make a sound or even blink.
Panel Three: Carleia is now in bed, her eyes closed as she looks rather peaceful as if she were having a comforting dream. In this panel we see Belltet watching and smiling down at her.
Caption: Of course, this led to Belltet believing she was asleep. The poor romantic that he was, he leaned over to kiss her awake…
Panel Four: Just a small panel of their lips touching.
Panel Five: Now Belltet’s head is laid upon Carleia’s chest, his eyes and mouth open as he is now poisoned himself.
Panel Six: Back to Robert looking up from reading the diary. He looks a bit taken aback.
Robert: Jeez, what a love story. Says here they both were mummified alive… Love, what are you doing?
Panel Seven: A panel now of Lena planting a kiss to the mummy’s lips. The kiss should greatly resemble the last kiss between Belltet and Carleia. In the background, we see Robert rushing towards her with fear.
Panel Eight: Now, just a small panel at the very bottom of the page, focusing on Belltet’s mummy eyes, now wide open.