Advertisement

Hunter's Scripts Pt.1

Do you have a comic or other project you want to promote? Feel free to post about it here, but don't just post and run. Sticking around and joining in other discussions is the best way to get Outhousers interested in your work. These topics will also show up in The News Stand and The Asylum, for maximum exposure.

Hey you! Reader! Want to be a part of the GREATEST COMIC BOOK AND GEEK COMMUNITY on the web?! Logged in users see WAY LESS ADS, so why not register? It's fast and it's easy, like your mom! Sign up today! Membership spots are limited!*

*Membership spots not really limited!

Alcoholic_Spider
User avatar
Factor 8
 
Posts: 2026
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 0 post
Joined: Sun May 04, 2008 12:33 pm
Title: Boozemoines, ID.
Formerly: J.Hunter


Hunter's Scripts Pt.1

Postby Alcoholic_Spider » Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:54 pm

Found the first part of one of them. Please give it a read you superhero enthusiasts!

WWL.A. Preview

Part 1: 5 pages.

Premise, The Ideal stops a supervillain in down town traffic and is questioned about the supposed existence of the urban legend, “The Cynic.”

Panel One: Close-Up shot of a an attention starved super-powered criminal screaming while raising a hand in protest. He’s called THE WIELDER, and he’s got beef w/ down town traffic, apparently.

THE WIELDER
“I DEMAND AN AUDIENCE!

I WILL BE HEARD!”


Panel Two: Pull back a little to reveal THE WIELDER shifting into some other dramatic pose, as he continues his rant.

THE WIELDER

“THE TYRANNY OF THE CORPORATIONS LEAD YOU ALL LIKE LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER!”

Panel 3: Now we pull back even further for a wide panel showing the idiot standing ontop of a car in the middle of down town traffic where all kinds of cars and peeps are stuck listening to this moron. Try and distinguish some of the drivers w/ different vehicle electronic luxury’s like i-pods, watching dvd’s, or playing video games in their car, or on cell phones. Try and show this in the foreground as well, that way readers can get a sense of what this idiot’s gonna ramble on about.

THE WIELDER

“LOOK AT YOU!

SHEEP STUCK IN TRANSITION, YOU BRING YOUR WHOLE LIVES WITH YOU IN YOUR VEHICLES!”

“YOU VAUNTED SUBURBIA!”





Panel 4: Tighten in on THE WIELDER, looking at us the reader, pointing a finger at us accusingly.

THE WIELDER

“LOOK AT YOU!

LIKE LAMBS IN A CAN WITH YOUR PODS, YOUR DVD’S PLAYERS IN YOUR HEAD RESTS, YOUR PRECIOUS SATELLITE S,S,STEREOS!”

Panel 5: A worms eye view of THE WIELDER as he’s really getting into his rant now that he’s found a rhythmn, give him a Doom pose or something akin.

THE WIELDER

“LOOK AT YOU---“

(OFF PANEL A VOICE)

“LOOK AT YOU, BLOCKING TRAFFIC!”

Panel 6: A full shot of a skinny white dude in a beaning yelling at THE WIELDER from his car—(I hope you got a mirror handy, cause he’s you, lol.)

CHRISTOPHER

“GET THE FUCK OUTTA THE WAY CLOWN!”


End of page 1.
















Page 2:

Panel 1: The motorist a.k.a CHRISTOPHER continues to vent at THE WIELDER, even going as far as to flip him off from his car.

CHRISTOPHER
“YEA, YOU , YOU STUPID FUCK,

GET OUTTA THE WAY, ASSHOLE!”


Panel 2: THE WIELDER, in shock looks at the angry motorist while gesturing in “moi?” fashion.

THE WIELDER

“MOI?”

“DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM?!

“THE POWER THAT I WIELD?!”

Panel 3: CHRISTOPHER, makes a jerking off motion from his car, while rolling his eyes.

CHRISTOPHER

“OHHHH, YEA, YOU’RE THE WEINER, I HEARD YA THE FIRST TIME FUCK SUCKLEY,

YER ALSO THE PRICK WHO’S MAKING ME LATE FOR MY SHIFT AT THE RESTRAUNT,

SO, TAKE YOUR SUPER HERO UNDIES, AND

GET. THE. FUCK.
OUTTA THE WAY!”

Panel 4: THE WIELDER stands in silence, fuming, while the rest of traffic starts laughing at him, and mocking him…

(laughter,)

BOO! BOO!

YOU DORK!

Panel 5: Close-up of THE WIELDER as his eyes start to glow. We also see his hand in the same frame in front of his face as he’s gesturing towards Christopher, or us.

THE WIELDER

“FUNNY GUY EH?

MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH AT THE WIELDER?”

Panel 6: Before CHRISTOPHER can respond w/ more verbal abuse, the we need a full shot or a dramatic shot of THE WIELDER finally displaying his powers and w/ a wave of his hand and an energy sig surrounds CHRISTOPHER and the car he’s in, lifting it into the air.

End of page 2.


Page 3:

Panel 1:
A worms eye shot looking up at CHRISTOPHER, face full of fright, clutching onto the door and steering wheel, suspended in his car, mid-air, again w/ that same energy sig WIELDER possesses.


CHRISTOPHER
“AHHHH!”

Panel 2: Now it’s a Birds eye view, close up looking down at THE WIELDER’S face as he smiles in triumph…

THE WIELDER

“FUNNY GUY….”


Panel 3: Wide panel, pull back as THE WIELDER launches CHRISTOPHER and his car baseball throw style miles into the air and far away into the distance of the city’s sky line.

THE WIELDER

“…..WATCH HIM FLY!”



Panel 4: THE WIELDER, cocks his fist and kicks out his leg, BOO YAH! SCORE! Style. (he’s supposed to look silly here.)

THE WIELDER
“HE’S OUTTA HERRRRE!”

Panel 5: Vertical panel of THE WIELDER as he stands in triumph, with his arms arcross his chest, stroking his chin.

THE WIELDER

“NOW…WHERE WAS I?”


End of page 3.


Page 4.

Panel 1: Meanwhile, further down the street we need a Wide-shot of a college student, (maybe J.M.?) kicking his car as it makes all kinds of crappy unholy sounds. Smoke and sparks emanate from underneath the buckled engine hood.

J.M.
“DAMN YOU, YOU BUCKET OF CRAP!”
YOU ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME! AND YOU’VE NEVER ONCE, GOTTEN ME ANY CHICKS EITHER!
I’M BUYING JAPANESE NEXT TIME!”

Panel 2: Fullshot of the car rocking back and forth, creaking and moving upwards, J.M. leans back w/ his hands up in defense.

J.M.
“I’M SORRY!
I DIDN’T MEAN TO CALL YOU A BUCKET OF CRAP, DON’T EAT ME!”

Panel 3: Another shot, this time close in on J.M. who’s form should be cast in dark shadow from the car that’s being lifted into the air.

Voice off panel,

VOX
“CAN I BORROW THIS THEN?”



Panel 4: Another wide shot, looking up w/ a bright light ligting him from behind is THE IDEAL, holding up J.M.’s camaro over his head, pure strength and shit.

THE IDEAL
“BAD DAY EH?”

Panel 5: Close on J.M. as he still looks up in awe at THE IDEAL.

J.M.
“I’M NOT INSURED…”

Panel 6: Pull back to show THE IDEAL taking flight w/ the car overhead, leaving a bewildered J.M. in the back ground and other motorists all staring in shock. He’ looks back over his shoulder saying to J.M…

THE IDEAL

“NO WORRIES, MY COMPANY WILL GET YOU A NEW ONE.”

J.M.
“SWEET, IN THAT CASE, KICK HIS ASS IDEAL!”

End of page 4.


Page 5. All wide shots Hitch style.

Panel 1: This is where all the action starts yo! Wide shot of THE WIELDER throwing his arms in the air, energy sig around his hands and in his eyes, and all the nearby cars raised in the air in an “Oh shit moment”.

THE WIELDER

“WITNESS MY POWER FLOCK OF SHEEP!”

Sfx: (cars creaking from the weight being lifted in the air.

Panel 2: Wide shot of THE IDEAL, coming at THE WIELDER, launching the camaro at him, dead on.

THE IDEAL
“WITNESS THE POWER OF A CHEVY!”

Panel 3: Wide shot of THE WIELDER, eyes wide, w/ an oh shit look on his face, as he’s half turned around and the oncoming car hurls it’s way towards his face.


Panel 3. Wide shot of THE WIELDER’s body limp, flying backwards through the air, as the camaro impacts him.

Sfx: cue whatever sound you think is best.

Panel 4: wide shot of all the cars slamming down to the ground in unison, after THE WIELDER’S been knocked out. Screams.

Panel 5: shot of the Ideal, smirking.

THE IDEAL
“WHAT A WIMP.”


Page 6:

Panel 1: Medium Shot of J.M., THE IDEAL, holding the limp body of THE WIELDER, and CHRISTOPHER (who THE IDEAL rescued earlier.), holding up THE WIELDER’S mug all posing for the cameras and news crews and the crowd cheers behind them. Smiles and cheesy grins paste the faces of everyone pretty much. In the foreground
A t.v. reporter lady, holds a mic towards THE IDEAL.

REPORTER
“IDEAL, MR. IDEAL, YOU’VE SINGLE HANDEDLY TOOK OUT A DOWN TOWN MENACE W/ MINIMAL PROPERTY DAMAGE IN FRONT OF YOUR ADORING PUBLIC!
WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE? YOU’RE ALREADY AT THE TOP!”


IDEAL
“WELL, SHARON, NOT TO SOUND TOO MODEST, BUT I’M LUCKY TO HAVE GOOD, GIVING SAMARITANS HERE DOWNTOWN, WHO DON’T MIND LENDING A HELPING HAND….OR A CAMARO.”


(LAUGHTER).

Panel 2: Shot of the reporter, holding the mic.

REPORTER
“WHAT CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT THE RECENT RUMOURS OF A VIGILANTE LABLED, “THE CYNIC”, IN THE WEST SIDE OF THE CITY? ANY TRUTH TO THOSE? AND IF SO, WILL THE COMPANY BE RECRUITING HIS SERVICES?”



Panel 3: Shot of the IDEAL, raising an eyebrow at the reporter and a smirk on his face.

THE IDEAL
“OH, C’MON NOW, SHARON. THE CYNIC IS JUST AN URBAN LEGEND, THE LOCALS IN THE WEST SIDE GOSSIP ABOUT.”

Panel 4: Close in on THE IDEAL.

THE IDEAL

“THERE’S NO BOOGIE MAN, THE CYNIC DOESN’T EXIST.”

End of page 6.


Part 2.

Page 1.

Panel one: Int. Inside in an electronics store, its dark and there are two figures in the middle of the store. Both are ethnic one black no older than 13 years old, his name’s JAMAL, the other one older ethnic as well, named RIQUE, (pronounced Ricky) is a thuggish looking Latino man. The kid’s holding a DVD unplugged. The older guy is trying to pry something open with a crow bar, it’s a safe. He’s struggling and getting pissed off at his failed efforts while the kid looks on. They’re looting the place.

Rique
: “(INSERT SOME CURSE IN SPANISH), DAMN THING WON’T OPEN!”

Jamal:
“YO, RIQUE FORGET ABOUT THE SAFE MAN, PEEP ALL THIS STUFF DAWG!”

Rique
“HELL NA, SON, I’M GONNA GET THAT CASH! ONE WAY…”

Panel two: RIQUE pulls out a gun, silver something thuggish

Rique
“OR THE OTHER!.”

Jamal.
: “WHAT THE FU-!”

Rique

: “JAMAL, WHY YOU LOOKIN STUPID SON. QUIT BEING A BITCH AND GO OUTSIDE, HOLLA IF ANYONE ROLLS UP.”

PANEL 3: JAMAL, just sits there staring at the gun, wide eyed as RIQUE starts to get annoyed.

Jamal:
“BUT...”

PANEL 4: RIQUE, slaps JAMAL upside the back of his head hard with the other hand.

Rique:
“BE LIKE NIKE, NEGRO AND JUST DO IT FOOL!”

Jamal
: “OWWW!
AIGHT, AIGHT! I’M GOIN!”

PANEL 5: JAMAL walks away with the DVD still in hand through the door w/ the lock broken. RIQUE aims his gun at the safe about to do something even more stupid. He’s cursing to himself. He tends to talk out loud a lot.

Rique
“FOOL GONNA QUESTION ME, RIQUE?
LIKE I GOT ALL NIGHT TA WAIT FOR THE MOTHER FUCKIN POLICE!”

PANEL 6: Out of the dark, behind RIQUE we see the CYNIC appear, scary as fuck man, we only see from his chest up and the Mask and blonde hair gleaming in the dark. Make it real spooky looking.

Cynic
: “WHY WAIT?”

PANEL 7: Shot of RIQUE alarmed, holding his gun at the CYNIC. RIQUE’S scared shitless.

Rique:
“HOLY SHIT DAWG!”

Rique
“YO, WHO THE F**K DO YOU THINK YOU ROLLIN UP ON HOMES?!

Cynic
“NO WAIT, LET ME GUESS
HMM, YOU AIN’T J-LO?
IS IT DR. PHIL ROCKING TRIMSPA?”

Rique
WHAT?!
THINK YOU’RE BATDUDE OR SOMETHING, I’LL F**CKING SMOKE YOU YO! YOU KNOW WHO YOU MESSIN WITH?!HUH?! WHAT YOU GOT ON THIS?!

(Yea, the whole dialogue balloon has to have all of that in it, the guys scared so much he’s putting on a front and rambling useless shit.) Make sure he’s all posing and shit, that way it looks funny. And he says that last line to indicate the gun in his hand turned sideways.

End of page 1.






PAGE 2: I think you’ll like this panel.

PANEL 1: A panel across the top of the page as JAMAL stands watches outside w/ DVD in hand, the window is shattered into a million pieces as RIQUE’S body flies through courtesy of THE CYNIC.


SFX:
KERAASSHHH!

Jamal
OH SNAP!

PANEL 2: Close on JAMAL as he looks down at a move less RIQUE, who can only groan to indicate he’s still breathing.

Jamal:
“RIQ, YOU ALIVE MAN?”

PANEL 3: A crunchy sound alerts JAMAL, who looks over his shoulder alarmed.

SFX:
“crkkrrk”.

Jamal:
“AWW DAMN.”

PANELS 4-5: Small vertical panels of the CYNIC’S boot crushing glass under foot as he steps closer and closer to JAMAL.

SFX:
“crkkrrk”.

Cynic:
“ALLA THAT RUNNIN HIS MOUTH THE WHOLE TIME, AND THE ONLY CURE DR. PHIL NEEDED WAS ME SEWING HIS MOUTH SHUT.

Cynic:
“SO I PUT HIM DOWN FOR A NAP.

SFX
“crkkrrk”.

Cynic
“WHAT BOUT’ YOU? YOU NEED A TIME OUT TOO?”

PANEL 6: Close on JAMAL’S face, terrified.

Jamal:
“NAH MAN, THEY MADE YOU GHOST.
YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD DUDE!”

PANEL 7: THE CYNIC’S boot shifts slightly as this comment as he scratches some glass under boot.

SFX:
“crrkk-skrrrtch!”

The Cynic
“HMM?”


End of page 2.































PAGE 3.

PANEL 1: Full shot of THE CYNIC, as he looms over JAMAL, menacing, dark and angry, his body fills up the panel, as we see JAMAL’S frail little body clutching the DVD player, (yea I changed it to a DVD player.), tightly in fear.

Cynic:
“DO I LOOK DEAD TO YOU BOY?!”

Jamal:
“AHH SHIIIIT!”

PANEL 2: Full shot looking over THE CYNIC’S shoulder as, JAMAL, holds up the DVD player as a make shift defense weapon, still wide-eyed fright on his face.

Jamal:
“STAY BACK DAWG!

I’M WARNING YOU!”

The Cynic
“WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO KID TRY AND TAKE ME OUT WITH A DVD PLAYER?

YOU’RE BETTER OFF JUST THROWING IT, AND PRAYING YOU GET LUCKY OR SOMETHING.”

PANEL 3: JAMAL hurls the DVD player at THE CYNIC with all his might.

Jamal:
“UHHH!”

PANEL 4: THE CYNIC in pure, utter disbelief catches the thing in one hand effortlessly.

The Cynic:
“WHAT THE FU-YOU DUMB PUNK-ASS LIL-!”



PANEL 5: THE CYNIC rolls up on JAMAL and backs him against the brick wall across the street. He’s holding the DVD player in one handing waving it angrily at JAMAL, while his other hand is close to JAMAL’S face fingers gnarled. JAMAL’S backed up, with his face turned to the side, which would be us the viewer, he’s got his eyes squinted so tightly that post it notes could barely fit. He’s sweating lots.

The Cynic:
“I DIDN’T MEAN FOR YOU TO ACTUALLY DO IT!

AIN’T YOU GOT ANY SENSE IN THAT FAT FOREHEAD OF YOURS BOY?!”

Jamal:
“GEEZUS DON’T KILL ME MAN!
I’LL STICK W/ VHS, SWEAR!
I PUT THAT ON!”


PANEL 6: THE CYNIC, frustrated shakes his head and sighs as JAMAL continues to plead in fear.

Jamal:
“I PUT THAT ON DAWG, I’LL GO TO MY GRANMA MA’S HOUSE AND WATCH T.V.! I’LL TAKE OUT THE TRASH, DO THE DISHES. I’LL THROW AWAY THE PLAYBOYS! I’LL ONLY READ COMICS MAN!”

The Cynic:
“SIGH.”

PANEL 7: THE CYNIC, bewildered, tosses the DVD player over his shoulder with one hand perched on the wall above JAMAL, as JAMAL makes like CYNIC’S a priest and its confession.

Jamal:
“I’LL LEAVE IT ALONE MAN, I, I, WONT TOUCH IT EVER, JUST TO GO PEE DAWG, I’LL SIT DOWN WHEN I PEE EVEN!”

PANEL 8: CYNIC, whispers in JAMAL’S ear.


The Cynic:
“RUN.
NOW.”

End of page 3.

Advertisement

Alcoholic_Spider
User avatar
Factor 8
 
Posts: 2026
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 0 post
Joined: Sun May 04, 2008 12:33 pm
Title: Boozemoines, ID.
Formerly: J.Hunter


Re: Hunter's Scripts Pt.1

Postby Alcoholic_Spider » Tue Jun 17, 2008 9:00 am

Ok, reading back through it there are a tone of typos! Sorry.

Doc Jon
User avatar
YOU WILL NEED A NURSE
 
Posts: 28777
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 1 post
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:51 pm
Location: Jersey
Formerly: Doc Spider


Re: Hunter's Scripts Pt.1

Postby Doc Jon » Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:12 pm

I'll read this in a bit. Nice to see you posting your scripts, J.
Image


HJJOUNB SAWLWEN HATES MEO!!!! -Royal

Alcoholic_Spider
User avatar
Factor 8
 
Posts: 2026
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 0 post
Joined: Sun May 04, 2008 12:33 pm
Title: Boozemoines, ID.
Formerly: J.Hunter


Re: Hunter's Scripts Pt.1

Postby Alcoholic_Spider » Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:27 pm

jsalwen wrote:I'll read this in a bit. Nice to see you posting your scripts, J.


Thanks!

Alcoholic_Spider
User avatar
Factor 8
 
Posts: 2026
Likes: 0 post
Liked in: 0 post
Joined: Sun May 04, 2008 12:33 pm
Title: Boozemoines, ID.
Formerly: J.Hunter


Re: Hunter's Scripts Pt.1

Postby Alcoholic_Spider » Tue Jun 17, 2008 8:08 pm

When I write prose I'm fucking descriptive to the teeth. I'll try and bring more of that in my next few scripts!

leave a comment with facebook


Return to The Creator's Corner



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Advertisement