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Tableau

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Re:

Postby CountD » Tue Jan 25, 2011 3:01 pm

shannonh wrote:I couldn't wait on this other guy any longer. lol

seriously though, I was doing some warm up sketches and for some reason this popped on to the page...no biggy.


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wow.

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Re: Tableau

Postby Greg » Tue Jan 25, 2011 3:03 pm

CountD wrote:
I really like this. 8)


It's pretty damn sweet. The artist said when he has time he'll try to finish it.
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Re: Tableau

Postby Greg » Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:20 am

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Benderbrau: Greg: Unwrapping the riddles of the black man since 2006

Starlord: I swear if you were gay and I wasn't married we'd make the perfect fuck buddies.

Greg: I'd do many things. Coke is not one of them.
Benderbrau: Greg hates all things white.

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Re: Tableau

Postby Greg » Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:27 pm

Thank you, contramundi!!!! :-D

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Re: Tableau

Postby contramundi » Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:36 pm

Greg wrote:Thank you, contramundi!!!! :-D

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http://sketchesandall.blogspot.com/


youre welcome dude
its such an awesome character
:D
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Re: Tableau

Postby Greg » Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:39 pm

contramundi wrote:
youre welcome dude
its such an awesome character
:D


Heh heh, thanks! Here's shooting for the stairs with him! Good luck with your other stuff. Don't be a stranger, post them on the Art Group thread also.
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Re: Tableau

Postby contramundi » Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:40 pm

we have an art group?lol..
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Re: Tableau

Postby Greg » Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:42 pm

contramundi wrote:we have an art group?lol..


:lol:

the-artist-corner/the-official-outhouse-art-thread-t47374.html
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Re: Tableau

Postby Greg » Wed Feb 16, 2011 2:40 pm

#13: Jeremy Tableau and the Legion Demon


Page One

Panel One: We open up to a panel of our hero, Jeremy Tableau, being punched in the face by a huge, clawed demonic looking hand. Blood is purging from his mouth, his eyes closed and tensed. Our hero is a young, handsome black man in his early 20s. His usual default wardrobe is a fine and pressed white suit, but you can deviate into a different color if you wish. But he’s definitely wearing a shirt, the vest of a three piece suit (he’s missing the outer jacket), pants and shoes. He’s also wearing a tie. Indicate with his clothing that this fight has been going on for a while now. It’s all ruffled, his tie nearly coming off. You don’t need to include all these details of the character in this first panel as I see this panel as more of a close up. But I’m describing the clothes for the later panels.

Caption: As you can see here, I’m getting my ass beat.

Caption: What else is new, right?

Panel Two: We see the demon in this story. Jeremy is on the floor, weakened and bloodied as he’s looking up before him. The Demon is tall and has the body of a muscular woman. She has large, bat-like wings, long hair with a long and spiky tail. The Demon has an evil grin, teeth razor sharp and eyes filled with red, violent glee. We finally see the area as it’s a bar with people running out, frightened. Somewhere in this panel, definitely show a panther weakened also, trying to move. This panther is Lebeur, Jeremy’s shape-shifting pet who we haven’t seen for quite some stories now.


Caption: My shape-shifting pet, Lebeur, is also getting messed up along with me.

Caption: Ok, so I’m guessing you guys want some back-story as to how I got us into this mess here.

Caption: Long story short…

Panel Three-Six: These panels will be just head shots of various characters. One panel for each person and they’ll be aligned together.

Panel Three: A man in his 50s, you decide his race.


Caption: Morgan was a pastor who was secretly raping underage girls from his church. I exposed him and he was killed by the father of one of the daughters.

Panel Four: A young looking nun. You decide the race.

Caption: Sister Mary Sinclair. We… uh… had a thing. Feeling unworthy and guilty and “corrupted,” she decided to take her own life.

Panel Five: A Catholic priest. Make sure he has the priest collar. He’s in his 30s. You decide the race.

Caption: Father Prance. I helped the police track this man down who was using money from the church to help the mob. He was killed by an insider of the mob in prison.

Panel Six: A man with a mo-hawk and piercings all over his face. He has an angry mug. In his 20s and once again, you decide the race.

Caption: Rockwell Sanders. A worshiper of Satan who had a grudge against me. I still have no idea what I did to him. Nor how he even died, but somehow I have an act in that also.



Page Two

Panel One: The demon is now holding Jeremy by the throat and snarling at him.


Demon: You’ll pay for what you’ve done to us, Jeremy. There’s a pretty little price for your soul down in Hell.

Demon: We made a deal with a Lord in Hell. We forge as a Legion and we get the privilege to come back to Earth.

Demon: We bring you down to Hell alive, and we get to torture you for all eternity. It’s the least you can do for damning us from the graces of Heaven. Your scent is intoxicating of Vodou and sin.

Panel Two: A tight shot looking directed at the Demon.

Demon: Not only will your soul be a prize to our Lord, but we lay claim to your physical body. We shall happily take turns sexually molesting you.

Caption: Somehow that’s suppose to scare me? That's weak. I've been raped by aliens.

Panel Three: A shot now of the Demon getting it’s eye pierced by Lebeur who’s now a raven. The Demon is trying to swipe the bird while dropping Jeremy to the ground. Make sure we see Jeremy trying to take off his tie.

SFX: CAW! CAW! CAW!

Demon: AHHH!!!!

Caption: Thanks, Lebeur! Buy me some time!

Panel Four: A small shot of the Demon catching Lebeur.

Panel Five: Lebeur has now transformed into a gorilla, his neck being held by the Demon. Despite this, Lebeur is still struggling to escape the Demon’s grasp.



Page Three

Panel One: The Demon has now flung Lebeur into Jeremy, knocking them over the bar counter.


Caption: Oh, I am SO gonna fuck these guys over.

Panel Two: Back to the demon walking forward, wings and arms out as if in victory.

Demon: Hahaha! Bring your pathetic ass and fight us, Jeremy! It’s about time you’ve been brought down for all your fuckery! Your gutter trash Vodou gods can’t help you now! You are nothing but an annoying ant between our toes. We are only a few of many. There are many awaiting your arrival. And it shall be glorious!

Panel Three: Jeremy has jumped over the counter and is attacking the demon. Make sure, though, that Jeremy is ONLY wearing his pants and vest in this. No shirt, no shoes, no tie at all.

Panel Four: The Demon has punched Jeremy down onto the floor.

Panel Five: The Demon is now standing over Jeremy’s unconscious body.

Panel Six: Same panel, except this time Jeremy’s body is now the body of a possum. The Demon is confused.


Caption: Heh, sucker.



Page Four

Panel One: The real Jeremy now is striking a filled Jack Daniels liquor bottle at the Demon’s head. Make sure we see the liquor splashing all over and the Demon actually starting to bleed from this strike.

Panel Two: The Demon is now crouched down to its knees, hands holding the wounded spot. Jeremy is standing over it with a smug smile on his face. He’s wearing just his boxers and button shirt, his tie in his hand as if he’s holding it as a whip.


Demon: How… what is this?

Jeremy: Holy water, you fucker. Courtesy of the Holy Loa, Damballah, of my Vodou. See, I blessed the Jack Daniels while you were busy bragging about what will happen to my sweet ass in Hell. And Damballah is the Holy Father and works directly under Bondye. Want to know the popular a.k.a. name of Bondye?

Jeremy: Oh yeah! You guessed it: GOD!

Jeremy: Also… just to fuck with you. Possession is also a special and popular thing of Vodou.

Panel Three: Close up of a grinning Jeremy, looking mischievous.

Jeremy: Would you like to see me use it?

Panel Four: We’re now looking at the Demon knelt as Jeremy is standing behind it, his free hand placed at the back of its head. His other hand is still holding the tie. Jeremy’s eyes are completely white.

Jeremy/Demon (have the dialogue bubbles linked to indicate that Jeremy is talking/possessing the Demon): Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Please forgive me for my trespasses and lack of faith. You are the great Father of forgiveness and mercy. I repent to You and my will is to follow You. I am now your child. I have been lost and followed the wide path. You’ve sent your only begotten son to die for my sins. I give myself to you and see you as my love and accept you as my one and only savior. Amen.

Panel Five: Now an intense shot of Jeremy slicing the Demon’s head off with his tie.

Jeremy: Amen.



Page Five

Panel One: We’re now behind the Demon as we see it up in the bright skies, clouds everywhere. Yards before the Demon are the golden gates to Heaven.

Demon: No… no, no no!!!

Image

Off-panel: Brothers and sisters of Christ!

Panel Two: The Demon has turned around to see a flock of angels of all types of race and shape flying towards it. Wings flapping, white cloth, and with large flaming swords ready to attack. Clothing wise, have them all wearing different types of clothing. Some wearing the typical white robes that’s accustomed to angels in various artworks, some wearing white battle armor, etc. Just have fun with it. In front is one main angel, who’s very muscular.

Main angel: Strike down this filth that’s come to taint our Holy home with vile corruption!!!

Panel Three: Close up on the demon’s face, frightened and completely helpless of what’s coming for them.

Panel Four: Back to Jeremy, smiling and placing his hat on his head with Lebeur, now a raven again, resting on his shoulder.


Jeremy: Heh… Ain’t we some stinkers?



Art piece by MAXX_K
Last edited by Greg on Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:34 am, edited 3 times in total.
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CountD: Greg, thank you for your insights.
Benderbrau: Greg: Unwrapping the riddles of the black man since 2006

Starlord: I swear if you were gay and I wasn't married we'd make the perfect fuck buddies.

Greg: I'd do many things. Coke is not one of them.
Benderbrau: Greg hates all things white.

Benderbrau: Emma, you could learn a thing or two from Greg. Greg does threesomes. That's bi done right.

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Re: Tableau

Postby GHERU » Thu Feb 17, 2011 10:48 am

Greg wrote:Jeremy Tableau and the Legion Demon


Page One

Panel One: We open up to a panel of our hero, Jeremy Tableau, being punched in the face by a huge, clawed demonic looking hand. how do we know its clawed if it’s a fist? Blood is purging from his mouth, his eyes closed and tensed. Our hero is a young, handsome black man in his early 20s. His usual default wardrobe is a fine and pressed white suit, but you can deviate into a different color if you wish. But he’s definitely wearing a shirt, the vest of a three piece suit (he’s missing the outer jacket), pants and shoes. He’s also wearing a tie. Indicate with his clothing that this fight has been going on for a while now. It’s all ruffled, his tie nearly coming off. You don’t need to include all these details of the character in this first panel as I see this panel as more of a close up. But I’m describing the clothes for the later panels.

Caption: As you can see here, I’m getting my ass beat.

Caption: Yep, what else is new, right?
get rid of

Panel Two: We see the demon in this story. Jeremy is on the floor, weakened and bloodied as he’s looking up before him. The Demon is tall and has the body of a muscular woman. She has large, bat-like wings covered in black feathers, bat-like with feathers? long hair with a long and spiky tail. The Demon has an evil grin, teeth razor sharp and eyes filled with red, violent glee. We finally see the area as it’s a bar with people running out, frightened. Somewhere in this panel, definitely show a panther weakened also, trying to move. This panther is Lebeur, Jeremy’s shape-shifting pet who we haven’t seen for quite some stories now.
the fact that he is a shapeshifter is not reported to the reader

Caption: My pet, Lebeur, my pet is also getting messed up along with me.

Caption: Ok, so I’m guessing you guys want some back-story as to how I got us into this mess here.

Caption: Long story short…

Panel Three-Six: These panels will be just head shots of various characters. One panel for each person and they’ll be aligned together.

Panel Three: A man in his 50s, you decide his race.

Caption: Morgan was a pastor who was secretly raping underage girls from his church. I exposed him and he was killed by the father of one of the daughters.

Panel Four: A young looking nun. You decide the race.

Caption: Sister Mary Sinclair. We… uh… had a thing. Feeling unworthy and guilty and “corrupted,” she decided to take her own life.

Panel Five: A Catholic priest. Make sure he has the priest collar. He’s in his 30s. You decide the race.

Caption: Father Prance. I helped the police track this man down who was using money from the church to help the mob. how did he die?

Panel Six: A man with a mo-hawk and piercings all over his face. He has an angry mug. In his 20s and once again, you decide the race.

Caption: Rockwell Sanders. A Satanist who had a grudge on me. I still have no idea what I did to him. how did he die?



Page Two

Panel One: The demon is now holding Jeremy by the throat and snarling at him.

Demon: You’ll pay for what you’ve done to us, Jeremy. There’s a pretty little price for your soul down in Hell.

Demon: We made a deal with the Lord clarify – does the deamon mean G-d or Satan?. We forge as a Legion and we get the privilege to come back to Earth.

Demon: We bring you down to Hell alive, and we get to torture you for all eternity. It’s the least you can do for damning us from the graces of Heaven. Your scent is intoxicating of Vodou and sin.

Panel Two: A tight shot looking directed at the Demon.

Demon: Not only will your soul be a prize to our Lord, but we lay claim to your physical body. We shall happily take turns sexually molesting you.
word choice?

Caption: Somehow that’s supposed to scare me. Yawn.

Panel Three: A shot now of the Demon getting it’s eye pierced by Lebeur who’s now a raven. The Demon is trying to swipe the bird while dropping Jeremy to the ground. Make sure we see Jeremy trying to take off his tie.

SFX:[b] CAW! CAW! CAW!
[b]who?


Demon: AHHH!!!!

Caption: Thanks, Lebeur ! Buy me some time!
cut out – reads un-natural. Maybe say “thanks buddy” or something like that

Panel Four: A small shot of the Demon catching Lebeur.

Panel Five: Lebeur has now transformed into a gorilla, his neck being held by the Demon. Despite this, Lebeur is still struggling to escape the Demon’s grasp.



Page Three

Panel One: The Demon has now flung Lebeur into Jeremy, knocking them over the bar counter.

Caption: Oh, I am SO gonna **** these guys over.
1 – why censor cuss words in this story? 2 – you love the phrase “fuck over” don’t you?

Panel Two: Back to the demon walking forward, wings and arms out as if in victory.

Demon: Hahaha! Bring your pathetic ass and fight us, Jeremy! It’s about time you’ve been brought down for all your ****ery! Your gutter trash Vodou gods can’t help you now! You are nothing but an annoying ant between our toes. We are only a few of many. There are many awaiting your arrival. And it shall be glorious!

Panel Three: Jeremy has jumped over the counter and is attacking the demon. Make sure, though, that Jeremy is ONLY wearing his pants and vest in this. No shirt, no shoes, no tie at all.

Panel Four: The Demon has punched Jeremy down onto the floor.

Panel Five: The Demon is now standing over Jeremy’s unconscious body.

Panel Six: Same panel, except this time Jeremy’s body is now the body of a possum. (:lol: )The Demon is confused.

Caption: Heh, ain’t I a stinker?



Page Four

Panel One: The real Jeremy now is striking a filled Jack Daniels liquor bottle at the Demon’s head. Make sure we see the liquor splashing all over and the Demon actually starting to bleed from this strike.

Panel Two: The Demon is now crouched down to its knees, hands holding the wounded spot. Jeremy is standing over it with a smug smile on his face. He’s wearing just his boxers and button shirt, his tie in his hand as if he’s holding it as a whip.

Demon: How… what is this?

Jeremy: Holy water, you ****er. Courtesy of the Holy Loa, Damballah, of my Vodou. See, I blessed the Jack Daniels while you were busy bragging about what will happen to my sweet ass in Hell. And Damballah is the Holy Father and works directly under Bondye. Want to know the popular a.k.a. name of Bondye?

Jeremy: Oh yeah! You guessed it: GOD!

Jeremy: Also… just to **** with you. Possession is also a special and popular thing of Vodou.

Panel Three: Close up of a grinning Jeremy, looking mischievous.

Jeremy: Would you like to see me use it?

Panel Four: We’re now looking at the Demon knelt as Jeremy is standing behind it, his free hand placed at the back of its head. His other hand is still holding the tie. Jeremy’s eyes are completely white.

Jeremy/Demon (have the dialogue bubbles linked to indicate that Jeremy is talking/possessing the Demon): Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. Please forgive me for my trespasses and lack of faith. You are the great Father of forgiveness and mercy. I repent to You and my will is to follow You. I am now your child. I have been lost and followed the wide path. You’ve sent you only begotten son to die for my sins. I give myself to you and see you as my love and accept you as my one and only savior. Amen.

Panel Five: Now an intense shot of Jeremy slicing the Demon’s head off with his tie. when did he get the tie? You told the artist that he didn’t have it anymore. Also, is the tie a sword? How does it cut off the head?

Jeremy: Amen.



Page Five

Panel One: We’re now behind the Demon as we see it up in the bright skies, clouds everywhere. Yards before the Demon are the golden gates to Heaven.
when did we get outside

Demon: No… no, no no!!!

Click to view this possibly NSFW image.

Off-panel: Brothers and sisters of Christ!

Panel Two: The Demon has turned around to see a flock of angels of all types of race and shape flying towards it. Wings flapping, white cloth, and with large flaming swords ready to attack. Clothing wise, have them all wearing different types of clothing. Some wearing the typical white robes that’s accustomed to angels in various artworks, some wearing white battle armor, etc. Just have fun with it. In front is one main angel, who’s very muscular.

Main angel: Strike down this filth that’s come to taint our Holy home with vile corruption!!!
heh, you said ‘taint’ :lol:

Panel Three: Close up on the demon’s face, frightened and completely helpless of what’s coming for them.

Panel Four: Back to Jeremy, smiling and placing his hat on his head with Lebeur, now a raven again, resting on his shoulder.

Jeremy: Heh… Ain’t we some stinkers?
worked as a joke once, twice is too much

----
well done
much better at communicating to both the artist and the reader this time
there are some continuity issues, like with the tie and location, but other than that - very good job telling such a intricate story in such a small space
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Re: Tableau

Postby Greg » Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:12 am

GHERU wrote:----
well done
much better at communicating to both the artist and the reader this time
there are some continuity issues, like with the tie and location, but other than that - very good job telling such a intricate story in such a small space


You misread the part with the tie. Lebeur shape-shifted into Jeremy, but wasn't wearing the tie. The real Jeremy held onto the tie. And yeah, the fisted claw thing reads well, but I guess it's just to set up that the demon has claws even without balling it's hands into fists.

Also, I didn't censor it. I posted this originally in penciljack and copy and pasted. They censor there, so that copied over to here.

We got outside because it's the Demon's soul now in Heaven. Pretty self-explanatory. :P

Thanks for the C&C. I'll fix some stuff up. Thanks, man! As always, greatly appreciated!
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CountD: Greg, thank you for your insights.
Benderbrau: Greg: Unwrapping the riddles of the black man since 2006

Starlord: I swear if you were gay and I wasn't married we'd make the perfect fuck buddies.

Greg: I'd do many things. Coke is not one of them.
Benderbrau: Greg hates all things white.

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Re: Tableau

Postby GHERU » Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:25 am

Greg wrote:
You misread the part with the tie. Lebeur shape-shifted into Jeremy, but wasn't wearing the tie. The real Jeremy held onto the tie. And yeah, the fisted claw thing reads well, but I guess it's just to set up that the demon has claws even without balling it's hands into fists.

Also, I didn't censor it. I posted this originally in penciljack and copy and pasted. They censor there, so that copied over to here.

We got outside because it's the Demon's soul now in Heaven. Pretty self-explanatory. :P

Thanks for the C&C. I'll fix some stuff up. Thanks, man! As always, greatly appreciated!

ok, I see my mis-read now - my bad
stupid penciljack :smt013
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Re: Tableau

Postby Greg » Thu Feb 17, 2011 12:47 pm

Jeremy by Shaky Kane!!! :-D

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CountD: Greg, thank you for your insights.
Benderbrau: Greg: Unwrapping the riddles of the black man since 2006

Starlord: I swear if you were gay and I wasn't married we'd make the perfect fuck buddies.

Greg: I'd do many things. Coke is not one of them.
Benderbrau: Greg hates all things white.

Benderbrau: Emma, you could learn a thing or two from Greg. Greg does threesomes. That's bi done right.

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Re: Tableau

Postby Greg » Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:04 am

From Arion!

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CountD: Greg, thank you for your insights.
Benderbrau: Greg: Unwrapping the riddles of the black man since 2006

Starlord: I swear if you were gay and I wasn't married we'd make the perfect fuck buddies.

Greg: I'd do many things. Coke is not one of them.
Benderbrau: Greg hates all things white.

Benderbrau: Emma, you could learn a thing or two from Greg. Greg does threesomes. That's bi done right.

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Re: Tableau

Postby Arion » Thu Feb 24, 2011 11:12 am

Greg, that one from Anoma-lee is great . I checked his deviant art page but I was wondering if you have his email address so I can get in touch with him.

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