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No, this is why...
It isn't how something is being perceived, it is how something IS.
Please consider the following statement. "I understand that you are saying you believe water is made up of hydrogen and oxygen, but Johnny thinks it is made of carbon and lithium. It seems arrogant to consider how you perceive water to be more valid than Johnny's."
If Johnny wants to be called Brenda I will be more than happy to oblige. I think anyone should be able to be called by the name he or she chooses. But words have meanings and there is simply no reason to use them inaccurately and reinforce a falsehood. I'm surprised at you Jude.
But what makes you the arbiter of what someone's feelings should be? What is it that causes people to be attracted to the same sex? Would you also say that the fact that a man has a penis means he should only have sex with a woman who has a vagina?