Lord Simian wrote:
A practitioner of a Viking-styled faith who is unfamiliar with axes is like a practitioner of Buddhism who is unfamiliar with the concept of a dude meditating under a tree in search of enlightenment. I fear your 'friends' are like the high school girls who watch "The Craft", wear black nail polish, and announce that they are proud Wiccans.
One of them I knew years ago, and fell out of touch with her. She was a crazy, giggly redhead who once confessed to me that she routinely hallucinated things. She was born with the "share" button in her brain permanently switched to the "on" position. She once explained to me that her preferred method of birth control was sacrificing a small animal to one or more Norse Gods. Luckily for small animals, she was bisexual, so she only killed half the number of small animals a heterosexual girl would have in her place. That conversation with her marked the first time I ever discovered that Asatru was a thing. Out of all the strange things her brain compelled her mouth to just randomly crap out, this was the strangest.
Now that I think about it, she bought me my first copies of Ender's Game, Speaker of the Dead and Xenocide.
The other girl who practices Asatru is someone I met a year or so ago. She seems more down to earth and is less tolerant of bullshit than most human females her age. She is funny as hell, but is also, in her way, crazy. She works in a nursing home because tending to old people with no one in their families to care for them is something very near and dear to her heart. She is not terribly open about her faith because she has been ridiculed about it in the past. When she felt confident enough to reveal it among a group of our friends, I was the only one who knew what in the fuck she was even talking about. Modern science has determined the phrase, "SPACE WHIPS, BITCH" is guaranteed to make her laugh uncontrollably.
Every so often, she randomly breaks into song, singing "Don't You Put it in Your Mouth"
, which is something I will now use to infect your brain.
She is smart enough to rely upon slightly more conventional methods of birth control.
But that's all the time we have for now. On the next episode of the Strictly Speaking show, I will discuss the two Wiccans I dated. Both of whom loved karate.