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Fanboy Stink........

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User avatar

Keb

<( ' . ' )>

Postby Keb » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:17 pm

Wisdom000 wrote:I am a large guy, thats right, fatty numbah 1, feel free to ridicule, it's ok.... No, it's actually not, and I will eat you where you stand............ with a spork...
Fixed for truthiness.

That being said, I take two kinds of showers:

1. the quickie shower, I do this efter every shit I take, because I can't get over the fear I might have missed some miniscule molecule of poo clinging to an ass hair while wiping..... and buttcrack sweat is greasy enough without my imagination giving it unholy connotations..... so anytime I poo, which is at least once a day, I jump straight into the shower afterwards, give a quick wash to my pits and naughty bits (Thank god for removable shower heads), a quick rinse to the rest of my body and I am off....

2. The santizing/disinfectant/scrub till raw shower.... these can take between 30 minutes and an hour, and I perform them whenever I have been sweating, or after a wank, or any other situation that would cause me to stink. I am obsessive about it.... I have one of those loofah songes, not the poofie things for body wash, and actual scrape the flesh off your body like an organic cheesegrater loofah....... and when I can afford it I use lava soap... I scrub my body from foot to head, often till raw and bright red, then I re wash with either body wash or a liquid soap/shampoo with oatmeal. Then I wash my hair, then I condition it, then I rinse off one more time, making sure all my naughty bits or the bits that don't see much light get a little extra rinse, then I am off.

1. Are you sure this is the real reason? Not because your butt's so gigantic that you can't actually reach to clean it properly?

2. 30 minutes to an hour? Isn't that how long it takes to wet your frontside?

showers are there to get clean, baths are there for pleasure/luxury. But I have a hot tub for that, so the bathtub almost never sees use unless there is a chick in the house.
I'm sure your hot tub sees just as much use as your bathtub...

note: that's all for calling me a "fanboy". I might actually have had your back 100% in this situation (that is if I could find it) had anyone challenged you.

(I keed! <3 Wis)[/quote]
User avatar

Daniel

Great Scott!!!

Postby Daniel » Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:12 am

Not to bash on you Wis but with someone that has some financial troubles, isn't an hour long shower sort of a waste of money? I mean if you gotta do what you gotta do, go for it, but just throwing that out there.
User avatar

DeadFett

Outhouse Editor

Postby DeadFett » Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:39 am

Wisdom000 wrote:I do NOT shit in public restrooms........ never have.. hell even here at work
where I have a a private bathroom I almost never shit here...

And if I have to shit more than once a day, something is seriously wrong/////


It's like you're my long lost twin. All of the above goes for me. After I shit, I shower. If I had a bidet it might be different.
User avatar

daitong

penile prisoner

Postby daitong » Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:52 am

This is the Too Much Information thread.
User avatar

nietoperz

The Goddamn Bat-min

Postby nietoperz » Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:03 am

To be fair (and playing devil's advocate) - some people just have a naturally bad smell. A friend of my mother's always smells sweaty even though she bathes twice a day and wears perfume besides. Apparently it's a glandular thing...
User avatar

Zero

Zombie Guard

Postby Zero » Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:06 am

Magic: The Gathering tournaments prepared me for any bad smell I may encounter in life. I have sniffed the abyss and lived.
User avatar

outsider

Outhouse Drafter

Postby outsider » Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:23 am

nietoperz wrote:To be fair (and playing devil's advocate) - some people just have a naturally bad smell. A friend of my mother's always smells sweaty even though she bathes twice a day and wears perfume besides. Apparently it's a glandular thing...
Smelling slightly sweaty is one thing, but there are people out there that LOOOOVE the funk. There was a guy at the cinema when I saw Indy 4 that could be smelled from ten feet away. If that guy had glandular issues, I could see having a smell up-close, but not from that far a distance.

Hey wis (or anyone else here), have you ever used any of those concentrated multi-day anti-perspirants that have aluminum chloride? I use those, but it seems when I apply it at night, I have the weirdest dreams. Wondered if that's happened to anyone else.
User avatar

KillerShrike

cheese

Postby KillerShrike » Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:39 am

If I took a shower after every shit I'd be underwater more than Man from Atlantis.
User avatar

AaronW

Rain Partier

Postby AaronW » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:41 am

Seems more like you have some kind of OCD Wisdom000. Scrub till raw? An hour shower? Do you weigh 650lbs?
User avatar

misac

Outhouse Editor

Postby misac » Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:06 pm

Fanboy stink doesn't compare to truck drivers. I almost threw up once.

In the winter I go without showering every once in a while but in the summer it's impossible.
User avatar

Starlord

Outhouse Editor

Postby Starlord » Wed Jun 18, 2008 2:22 pm

I shower in the morning, and sometimes if I'm out in heat, in the afternoon as well. I hate feeling sweaty and dirty. And if I'm going to be sweaty and dirty, I better be enjoying it.

Anyway, morning and afternoon showers, but evenings, before the teli, I will soak in a tub with something to read. Love to relax.
User avatar

Wisdom000

rubber spoon

Postby Wisdom000 » Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:19 pm

Aaron_W wrote:Seems more like you have some kind of OCD Wisdom000. Scrub till raw? An hour shower? Do you weigh 650lbs?


I definately have a mild case of OD, yes, sometimes, and no less than half that, but I am working on getting it lower....
User avatar

Wisdom000

rubber spoon

Postby Wisdom000 » Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:20 pm

DeadFett wrote:It's like you're my long lost twin. All of the above goes for me. After I shit, I shower. If I had a bidet it might be different.


Often wondered about purchasing a bidet.... it is just such a damn good idea.....
User avatar

Wisdom000

rubber spoon

Postby Wisdom000 » Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:23 pm

Dam keb, if Fanboys were human beings, that might have actually hurt my feelings....... :P
User avatar

Chris

Rain Partier

Postby Chris » Wed Jun 18, 2008 3:23 pm

cncoyle wrote:I use those, but it seems when I apply it at night, I have the weirdest dreams.


Are they prophetic? Are there giants and little dancing midgets?

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