The Outhouse - The Greatest Comic Book Forum

by **achilles** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 11:12 am

Ben wrote:You've obviously never read Hawthorne's other boring as piece of shit The Last of the Mohicans. While both are terrible swipes of the conventions of European writers of the time, Last of the Mohicans has a certain dryness to it that really pushes it over the top on the shit scale. Although, to be fair, most early American literature is awful.

Moby Dick, on the other hand, is incredible. Read it again and try not to let the awesomeness fly over your head this time.

Read LOTM, didn't think it sucked quite as much as SL. Mody Dick sucks whale balls...its horrific boringness limped under the bar for bad books.

by **chap22** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 12:04 pm

Apache Chef wrote:Out of books I read in school, I connected with Steinbeck's work the most. Grapes of Wrath, East of Eden, Of Mice and Men.

talk about Godawful American writers. my least favorite author of all time. The Pearl...terrible. The Red Pony...the pony dies in the first fucking chapter! Mice & Men...hey, let's kill a retard! riveting... :roll:

how you can be simultaneously dry as dirt and yet at the same time sappily maudlin and depressing is beyond me, but Steinbeck makes it happen. ugh.

by **billyzoom666** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 12:23 pm

Ben wrote:You've obviously never read Hawthorne's other boring as piece of shit The Last of the Mohicans.

Ugh, I stole a copy of "The Deerslayer" from my highschool library. It still sits on a shelf in my house with a bookmark on page 28.
It's been 15 years.

by **spidertour02** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 1:31 pm

Ben wrote:Uncle Tom's Cabin is important, but as a book it's terribly dated and only somewhat well written.

Full disclosure: I'm aware of the fact that many "novels" from that era were actually written in serialized form, published in newspapers, for which the authors were paid by the chapter. This is why a lot of books from that era are decompressed, boring pieces of shit.

I tend to hate books that break pacing like that, and Uncle Tom's Cabin and Great Expectations both fall into that category, which is largely why I find them so tedious.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings isn't like this ... it just sucks.

by **rdrsfn82** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 1:52 pm

Ben wrote:You've obviously never read Hawthorne's other boring as piece of shit The Last of the Mohicans. While both are terrible swipes of the conventions of European writers of the time, Last of the Mohicans has a certain dryness to it that really pushes it over the top on the shit scale. Although, to be fair, most early American literature is awful.

Moby Dick, on the other hand, is incredible. Read it again and try not to let the awesomeness fly over your head this time.

First of all, I'd just like to say that Hawthorne didn't write Last of the Mohicans. That was James Fenimore Cooper, and there's an excellent essay by Mark Twain about why Cooper is the worst writer in in the history of the world called "The Literary Offenses of James Fenimore Cooper", it's pretty fucking hilarious.

Secondly, Moby Dick sucked. The story is awesome and the characters are great, but the fact that for much of the book every other chapter is a How To manual on whaling is incredibly tedious. I hate those chapters and they are boring as fuck. If those weren't there it would be a great book.

by **zombiemichaeljackson** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 3:18 pm

rdrsfn82 wrote:First of all, I'd just like to say that Hawthorne didn't write Last of the Mohicans. That was James Fenimore Cooper, and there's an excellent essay by Mark Twain about why Cooper is the worst writer in in the history of the world called "The Literary Offenses of James Fenimore Cooper", it's pretty fucking hilarious.

We've gone over this already, but thanks for rubbing it in. :wink:

For the record, Twain's 'Following the Equator' is probably one of my 5 favorite books.

I've decided that I'm going to deal with it by telling myself that the reason I confused them is that they both suck. Hard. :-D

by **Justin M. Campbell** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 5:28 pm

Ben wrote:You've obviously never read Hawthorne's other boring as piece of shit The Last of the Mohicans. While both are terrible swipes of the conventions of European writers of the time, Last of the Mohicans has a certain dryness to it that really pushes it over the top on the shit scale. Although, to be fair, most early American literature is awful.

Moby Dick, on the other hand, is incredible. Read it again and try not to let the awesomeness fly over your head this time.

Last of the Mohicans was written by James Fenimore Cooper.

by **zombiemichaeljackson** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 5:30 pm

Justin M. Campbell wrote:Last of the Mohicans was written by James Fenimore Cooper.

For the love of god......don't you people read the rest of the thread before you chime in?

by **rdrsfn82** » Wed Jan 28, 2009 5:30 pm

Ben wrote:We've gone over this already, but thanks for rubbing it in.

For the record, Twain's 'Following the Equator' is probably one of my 5 favorite books.

I've decided that I'm going to deal with it by telling myself that the reason I confused them is that they both suck. Hard.

No one had mentioned Twain's essay though, and I love suggesting Twain stories/essays to everyone whenever I can.