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Warner Bros. has made a deal to settle part of the lawsuit over the television show Smallville.
Warner Bros. has finally put to rest at least part of the lawsuit they were facing regarding the television show Smallville. The lawsuit, a class action suit filed by all 150 viewers of the program, alleges that WB owes the viewers damages in the range of "countless hours of life wasted watching a shitty..."
Oh, hang on, we got our wires crossed there. The lawsuit was actually filed by the creators and executive producers of the show, who claim that Warner screwed them out of potential profits by selling the show to its own crappy TV networks instead of outside networks that would magically have made the show better and more profitable. The use of syndication and licensing deals to make more money off a movie or television show is known in Hollywood vernacular as "vertical integration," or "אַנטשולדיקן מיר. ווו קען איך געפֿינען די אָפּטריט?" in the original Yiddish.
Warner Bros. settled the portion of the suit filed by Mike Tollin and Brian Robbins, executive producers of the show, for an undisclosed ammount, though sources who wish not to be identified are saying that the deal included "a bunch of coupons for Subway's $5 Footlong sandwiches," effectively turning the sandwiches into $4 Footlongs. The settlement is considered to be a huge loss for Warner, as the show itself wasn't worth nearly that much. The portion of the case filed by other producers Miles Millar and Alfred Gough remains, though it is rumored that the pair would be willing to settle for $15 and a yearlong membership in any reputable beer of the month club.
Of course, the Smallville lawsuit is the least of Warner's concern, as the lawsuit over the rights to Superman himself with the families of creators Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster is scheduled to carry on for all of eternity.
Written or Contributed by Jude Terror
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