Gang, I've spent the last week or so realizing something.
Ten years ago I came out.
Oh, sure, the actual process came later, but that, oh, that inner realisation? That flash of light that indicated, yes you like men and that's ok now go look at the wrestling team and be happy....that light? Ten years.
'Course, a little movie called Attack of the Clones came out that year, during which I saw Hayden Christensen's unsettling hands-under-the-sheets nightmares eight times (mock away)...but staring at his pretty little Canadian face stirred something inside and, well, here we are.
Because, you know, you stare at a pretty face for so long and it gets you thinking about and doing other things, and one day you wake up and you think, 'oh dear, I've just thought about a man, this is quite a contravention to everything I've ever been taught or told, but shucks it feels so darn good'. And you don't care because for you it feels right. It feels good. Gordon Gekko's greed speech
And especially to some masturbating shit for brains 15/16 year old who can't see the world for little more than a week ahead at a time...yeah, it feels good. Feels like you've taken control of something in your life--which, y'know, you're fifteen, what do you control?--that kind of grown-up, oh, what's the word, that grown-up feeling. It feels good. Identity tautologies
So kudos to you, Hayden Christensen, the patron saint of Team Lex's emotional and, I don't mind sharing, group, because we are all amigos,
Ten years in the gay sun.
Hmm.(this is not a celebration; a wayward observation, more like)