Advertisement

The Coming War

This is the main board on The Outhouse, where Outhousers talk about everything. No topics are off limits, and it doesn't have to be about comics. All the topics from the other boards also show up in The Asylum, so you never have to leave1

Hey you! Reader! Want to be a part of the GREATEST COMIC BOOK AND GEEK COMMUNITY on the web?! Logged in users see WAY LESS ADS, so why not register? It's fast and it's easy, like your mom! Sign up today! Membership spots are limited!*

*Membership spots not really limited!

The Beast
User avatar
cheese
 
Posts: 2198
Likes: 241 posts
Liked in: 100 posts
Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:56 pm
Location: The True North, strong and free!
Title: Chronic MasterDebator


The Coming War

Postby The Beast » Fri Feb 15, 2013 1:21 pm

No, it's not Aliens hell bent on reclaiming Giza as their first step towards global domination.

This, is serious business.

http://deadspin.com/5984350/the-coming-war-a-military-doctors-field-guide-to-masturbating-in-afghanistan

Scenario #6
You have forcibly secured a hostile walled agricultural compound and established a forward fighting position that serves as the living quarters for 200 men. They frequently decide to masturbate and wish to have a relatively private place to do so.

Field-tested solution: One may designate any room or crudely constructed booth as a "jack shack." The most effective procedure for establishing a jack shack is to (1) ensure no other function has been assigned to the space; (2) make a sign that says "jack shack"; (3) make a flippable sign that reads "vacant" on one side and "jerkin' it" on the other; (4) hang the signs; (5) jerk it.

The rub: As you somehow approach orgasm while surrounded by fleas, goat droppings, and untold zillions of camel spiders, and even though the space is clearly labeled and you have turned the sign to the "jerkin' it" setting, some dumbass may still barge in and say, "Oh shit, I didn't know that was serious." A temporary fix for this is to add a quick "no, really" to the "jerkin' it" sign.


I have never laughed that hard without drugs before. Don't get me wrong, I hate the game sometimes but I love the players and they get nothing but respect from me, even more so now.

I'm ass deep in deadlines but I'll be back soon.

Advertisement

Keb
User avatar
<( ' . ' )>
 
Posts: 39994
Likes: 181 posts
Liked in: 323 posts
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2006 9:14 pm
Location: Right near de mountains, boy!
Title: Wastespacer
Formerly: Cocaine Biceps


Re: The Coming War

Postby Keb » Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:15 pm

Comments were serious business.

The Beast
User avatar
cheese
 
Posts: 2198
Likes: 241 posts
Liked in: 100 posts
Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:56 pm
Location: The True North, strong and free!
Title: Chronic MasterDebator


Re: The Coming War

Postby The Beast » Fri Feb 15, 2013 6:40 pm

Keb wrote:Comments were serious business.


Some of them are fucking hilarious. I think my favorite is:

Smeagol92055 wrote: As a former military guy myself who never gave in to the urge to jerk it in the field:

Image

Lord Ice
User avatar
Motherfucker from Hell
 
Posts: 2761
Likes: 33 posts
Liked in: 121 posts
Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 3:45 pm


Online


Re: The Coming War

Postby Lord Ice » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:12 pm

This might make an awkward situation the next time I see my urologist, who's a total hunk and served 2 tours in Iraq. :oops:
Image

S.F. Jude Terror
User avatar
OMCTO
 
Posts: 76388
Likes: 486 posts
Liked in: 756 posts
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:44 pm
Location: Up Your Ass
Title: Webmaster Supreme
Formerly: Dr. Jude Terror


Re: The Coming War

Postby S.F. Jude Terror » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:24 pm

Yuck!
Image
I LOVE BLUD BLOOD! - Rob Liefeld

The Beast
User avatar
cheese
 
Posts: 2198
Likes: 241 posts
Liked in: 100 posts
Joined: Fri Mar 23, 2012 6:56 pm
Location: The True North, strong and free!
Title: Chronic MasterDebator


Re: The Coming War

Postby The Beast » Sat Feb 16, 2013 3:17 pm

Lord Ice wrote:This might make an awkward situation the next time I see my urologist, who's a total hunk and served 2 tours in Iraq. :oops:


Well it's not like everybody "jerks it in the field", I'm sure your urologist is a likely candidate for keeping his "jellyfish turds" in check. :wink:

leave a comment with facebook


Return to The Asylum



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: FaceBook [Linkcheck], Google [Bot], MSN NewsBlogs and 51 guests

Advertisement